“No sex talk tonight,” Jax says, pointing at all of us.
“Who’s talking about sex without us?” Brynna asks as she and Stacy arrive, followed shortly by Amelia and Anastasia.
“Haven’t you met us?” Alecia asks. “We drink and we talk about sex. That’s what we do. You can’t change the rules.”
Jax reaches for the sangria. “I’ll be working my way through all of these, too.”
“Okay, now that we’re all here,” I begin, while we’re all still sober. “I have a ton of food on the charcuterie board. And if we run out of anything, there’s more in the fridge. Just let me know and I’ll fill it back up.
“Also, there’s a wet bar set up over there. I have a huge batch of peach sangria made, and have the fixings for huckleberry lemon drops and cham- poms.”
“What’s a cham-pom?” Sam asks.
“Champagne with pomegranate juice,” Jules says with a wink. “And be careful because you’ll get shitfaced on those things.”
“I’ll have two,” Sam says with a laugh.
“Have I mentioned that I’m not happy about being sober?” Meg asks.
“You get to have a baby,” I remind her and her face goes all gooey, making me laugh. “Just think about that. Here, I’ll make you a huckleberry lemonade.”
“That sounds really good,” Meg replies with a smile and follows me over to the wet bar as most of the others make a beeline for the food. “Thanks for doing all of this.”
“It’s my pleasure,” I say with a smile, mixing the lemonade and huckleberry syrup in a shaker with ice, then giving it a good shake before pouring it into a pretty glass. “Here you go.”
She takes a sip and looks at me in surprise. “Wow. This is really good.”
“Told you.”
I spend the next twenty minutes mixing cocktails and making sure everyone has what they need before I make my own drink and load a plate with food.
“Nat, you have to see this,” Stacy calls out, holding a photo in her hand.
“What is it?”
“Our baby,” Nic says with a smile as Stacy passes the ultrasound photo to me. “She’s going to be born in three months.”
“Oh, Nic,” I murmur, taking in the little nose and little fingers. “She’s perfect.”
“Do you get to be there when she’s born?” Brynna asks.
“Yes, the first mom and I have been in communication, and she said that I can be there. She might not be confortable with Matt being there, but we’ll see.”
“You’re calling her the first mom?” Jax asks. “That’s interesting.”
“It’s accurate,” Nic says with a shrug. “She’s the baby’s first mom, and I’m her forever mom.” She smiles and bites her lip. “I’m really nervous.”
“All moms are,” I reply, holding my hand up in cheers. “Are you doing anything fun before she arrives?”
“Matt just told me that we’re going to Italy next month,” she says with a grin. “It’s our last vacation away as a couple before we become a family, and I’m so excited.”
“That’s awesome,” Jules says. “I know I’ve said it several times, but I’m going to say it again. I’m so happy for you both. I know how badly you’ve wanted this.”
“Thanks,” Nic replies with a grin. “I’m still pinching myself.”
“Wait, shouldn’t Nic be drinking a virgin drink with me?” Meg asks. “I mean, she’s expecting, after all.”
“You’ll have to pry this liquor out of my cold, dead hands,” Nic says with a laugh. “This is one of the perks of our situation.”
“Kill joy,” Meg mutters.
For the next hour we drink and eat and laugh, progressively getting more inebriated, until finally, everything is funny.
“I don’t even know how to say charcoal board,” Sam says with a frown. “But it sure is delicious.”
“Charcuterie board,” Jules corrects her. “Here, it’s easy. Repeat after me. Char.”
“Char,” everyone in the room repeats, making us all dissolve into giggles.
“Cooter,” Jules says. Brynna snorts sangria through her nose, making us all laugh even harder.
“Cooter,” we all repeat once we catch our breath, still snickering like teenage boys.
“Ee,” Jules says.
“Ee.”
“Char-cooter-ee.”
We repeat it about six times, giggling, until Sam finally says, “Yay! I can say it!”
“I’ve never been so happy to say cooter in my life,” Jax says with a wink.
“Having a gay friend is so fun,” Stacy says. “Let’s talk about orgasms again.”
“Again?” Jax asks. “Haven’t we already covered this? Like fourteen thousand times?”
“We were drunk, Jax,” Sam reminds him. “We forget.”
“Meg should write it down,” Amelia suggests. “Since she’s sober.”
“Way to rub salt in the wound,” Meg replies with a scowl. “I’m not writing shit down.”
“She’s grouchy,” Anastasia says with a laugh. “And if I’d known that girls nights were this much fun, I would have come way more often.”
“I had orgasms today,” I volunteer proudly. “Luke took the kids to his mom’s and when he got home, bam. Orgasms.”
“You always get them,” Alecia says with a sigh. “But then again, I think we all do.”
“We’re lucky bitches,” Jules says. “I’ve been feeling bad lately, though.”
“Why?” we all ask in unison.
“So, Nate is awesome about going downtown, if you know what I mean.”
We all nod, sipping and chewing.
“And I don’t think I… reciprocate enough.”
“I get it,” Brynna says with a nod. “Sometimes I don’t think I have a great technique.”
We all turn to Jax, who looks around in surprise. “What? Why are you all looking at me?”
“Let’s talk about blow jobs,” Stacy says, batting her eyelashes. “Like, technique.”
“I’m not drunk enough for this.”
“Yes, you are,” Alecia says with a laugh. “Come on, share some secrets.”
“I don’t want to lose my man card.”
“You’re sharing secrets that benefit men,” I point out logically. “Obviously you can’t lose your man card for that.”
“I’ll start,” Nic says, clearing her throat. “I read a book where the woman went down on him, and when he’s way in the back of her throat, she swallows, and that’s supposed to massage the dick and be really great for him.”
“I can see that,” Jax says with a nod.
“But how?” Amelia demands. “I mean, doesn’t she have a gag reflex? I don’t mean to brag, but Wyatt isn’t a small man.”
“Same,” several of us agree loudly.
“So,” Amelia continues, “how in the world am I supposed to not only shove it to the back of my throat, but then also swallow around it and not throw up?”
“These are excellent questions,” Brynna says, turning to Jax. “What do you think?”
“I think I should go home,” he says, his cheeks turning red.
“No,” Mer says, holding him in place, then pinching his mouth until he has duck lips. “Tell us the blow job secrets.”
“Just suck it,” he finally says. “Seriously, suck it, lick it, kiss it, stroke it. In any order. Any attention given to the dick is appreciated and will make him happy.”
“But there has to be more to it than that,” Sam says, disappointment written all over her face.
“Not really,” Jax says with a shrug. “Guys are pretty simple.”
“So you’re saying that I should just give him the blow job, even if I don’t think I’m all that good at it,” Brynna says.
“Well, yeah. He comes when you do it, doesn’t he?” Jax asks.
“Of course he does,” Brynna replies.
“Well, there you go. He enjoys it. He wouldn’t come if he didn’t.”
“Good point,”
Jules says, raising her glass. She reaches for her phone. “I’d better text Nate and let him know that I’ve learned all the blow job secrets.”
“His is different,” I remind her. “He’s pierced.”
“I don’t know anything about that,” Jax replies, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ve never done that before.”
“He still has a regular dick,” Jules points out. “It’s amazing, but it’s a normal dick.”
“But don’t you have to be careful of the metal?” I ask, confused. “I’d be afraid that I was going to pull on it and hurt him or something.”
“No,” she replies, thinking about it. “He’s never said that I’ve hurt him before. Shit, now I have to think about this. I’ll text him.”
She starts to type away on her phone.
“Nat, how do you spell dick?”
“Why does she always forget how to spell when she’s drunk?” Meg asks with a laugh.
“Don’t judge me, Judgy McJudgerson,” Jules says with a scowl, staring at her phone. “How do you spell apa?”
“Jesus,” Jax mutters, pulling his hand down his face. “I love you girls. You’re a riot to hang out with.”
“Damn right we are,” I reply with a wink and glance over Jules’s shoulder to see what she’s typing.
“Who’s Nick, and why are you texting him about sucking on his dick?”
“I’m texting Nate,” Jules says.
“No, it says Nick at the top.” I point to it, and she snorts.
“Fuck, good catch. Nate would have been really pissed if I’d sent that message to the business contact in New York.”
“Oh, God,” I mutter. “You should be banned from your phone when you’re drunk.”
“It’s good now. See?”
She holds the screen up to me, and I see Nancy at the top of the screen.
“That’s not Nate,” I reply, covering my mouth to laugh behind my hand. “Oh, God, this is funny.”
“Shit,” Jules mutters, and holds it up again. “Now?”
“Now,” Meg confirms. “But it says slit your dick rather than suck your dick.”
“So?”
“Huge difference,” Jax says with a laugh. “Enormous difference.”
“Fucking autocorrect,” Jules mutters as she corrects the mistake, concentrating harder than I’ve ever seen her before. “There. Whew, that was hard.”
“Ask him for a dick pic,” Sam says. “I want to see an apa.”
“No way,” I burst out with giggles. “No one wants to see that.”
“I’m curious,” Anastasia admits. “But he’s her husband so, no. Not smart.”
“We could Google it,” Amelia suggests. “Then it’s just a random dude’s pierced…” she flails her hands about. “thing.”
“Thing?” Meg repeats. “It’s a cock.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, I’ll Google it,” I offer, pulling my phone out of my pocket. When the images come up, I scowl. “Holy fuck, that has to hurt.”
“I want to see!”
I pass my phone around the room. When it reaches Sam, she cocks her head to the side, examining it the way a scientist examines something in a petrie dish.
“Huh,” she says. “It’s not what I expected.”
“It’s not the Prince Albert,” Jules says, shaking her head. “It’s different.”
“Yeah, I see that now,” Sam says, pinching her fingers in and out to zoom in. “How long has he had it?”
“Years. More than ten.”
“Wow.”
“I’m going to text him and tell him you’re all impressed by his cock.”
“No,” I say, pulling her phone out of her hand. “You’ll misspell everything, and it’s best if he doesn’t know that we Googled it. Some things have to stay in the cone of silence.”
“Fine,” she says with a sigh. “Cone of silence on this one.”
“Speaking of the cone of silence,” Stacy says with a naughty smile. “I have to tell you something.”
“If it’s about sex with my brother, I’m not sure I want to know,” Jules says, wrinkling her nose, but I wave her off and lean in.
“Tell us everything,” I say.
“Well, you know Isaac and I have been married for over a decade, and sometimes you just have to spice things up, you know?”
“Carry on,” Anastasia says. We’re all fascinated to hear what she’s going to say next.
Stacy takes a sip of her cham-pom. “Well, I’ve started dressing up in costumes.”
“Like, a school girl?” I ask.
“That’s one,” she confirms. “I also have a naughty nurse, a belly dancer, a sea wench.”
“A sea wench!” Sam exclaims, giggling. “Oh, that’s awesome.”
“It’s fun,” Stacy insists, laughing with us. “And I know it may sound silly, but it really does bring something fun and new to our sex life. He especially enjoys the belly dancer.”
“I’m sure he does,” I reply, giggling. “I’m going to have to try it. I bet Luke would be into it, having been an actor and all.”
“Oh my God, you’re totally right,” Amelia says with a laugh. “Maybe I should try it. I have all the makeup in the world and I’m sure I have some outfits that would do the trick.”
“All of our men are going to be stunned this week by our sea wenches and naughty nurses,” I say, then turn to Jax. “What do you think you’ll dress up as?”
“A sexy as fuck man,” he says smugly. “That’s all my man needs.”
“Touché,” Meg says, raising her empty glass.
“This is so fun, you guys,” Jules says. “We need to do it more often.”
“We always say that,” Brynna says with a sigh. “But we’re all so busy with kids and crazy lives, it just rarely happens anymore.”
“We have to make it a priority,” Stacy insists. “These nights fill my cup and make me happy. You’re my tribe. I want to see you more often.”
“Stop making the pregnant girl cry,” Meg says, sniffling.
“I agree,” I announce, holding my glass up. “More nights with our tribe.”
“It’s a deal.”
Cocktails & Shenanigans Menu
Huckleberry Lemon Drop
lemon juice (to rim the glass)
sugar (to rim the glass)
3 ounces lemon vodka
2 ounces lemon juice
2 teaspoons huckleberry syrup
1 lemon wedge
2 huckleberries
Rub lemon juice around rim of martini glass. Dip rim in sugar. Fill cocktail shaker with ice, vodka, lemon juice and huckleberry syrup. Shake to combine and pour into martini glass. Skewer a toothpick with lemon wedge and 2 huckleberries for a garnish.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Sparkling Peach Sangria
1 (1.5 liter) pink Moscato
1 cup peach schnapps
1 bag frozen peaches
1 (1 liter) Sprite
Mint leaves for garnish
Mix together Moscato, peach schnapps and peaches in a large pitcher. Refrigerate for one hour. Add Sprite and garnish with a sprig of mint before serving.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Charcuterie Board
I like to use 7 items but who’s counting…Pretend that you are painting a blank canvas, only instead of paint you are using food. Your masterpiece will be a show stopper every time. Here are a few of my favorites that I like to pair with prosciutto, Brie, thin breadsticks, blue cheese stuffed olives and more.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Cheese Crackers
8 ounces extra sharp cheddar cheese
8 tablespoons (1 stick) cold salted butter
11/2 cups bread flour
1 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grate cheese and butter, then blend for one minute in a stand-up mixer. Add the flour and salt and blend for an additional minute. Remove from mixe
r and knead for one minute, forming into a 1-inch disk. Place dough between two sheets of wax paper and roll out to 1/4-inch thickness. Using a cookie cutter or a pizza cutter, cut out all crackers (making them no larger than 2 inches in diameter) and place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake in the oven for 12 minutes.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Candied Pecans
1 egg white
1 tablespoon water
1 pound pecans
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Mix together the egg white and water until foamy with a hand mixer. Stir in remaining ingredients until pecans are coated and spread onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 1 hour, stirring halfway through.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Black-eyed Pea Hummus
2 (15.5 ounce) cans black-eyed peas, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons tahini
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
Place all ingredients in a food processor and process until smooth. Refrigerate for at least an hour before serving.
Click here to return to the table of contents.
Fig Jam
4 cups figs
5 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1 packet liquid pectin
6 jelly jars with lids
Puree the figs in a food processor or blender and place in a medium saucepan with the sugar and water. Bring to a boil over medium heat stirring constantly. After the mixture has been boiling for 1 minute, add the pectin and continue to stir for 4 minutes. Turn off the heat and allow to thicken for an additional 4 minutes. Ladle the mixture into the jelly jars leaving 1/2-inch headspace. Apply caps and let jam stand in refrigerator until set, about 12 hours, or transfer to a pressure cooker to seal for a longer shelf life. If you are not using a pressure cooker to seal the jars, the jam must stay refrigerated. Refrigerated jams are good for about 3 months and sealed jars have a shelf life of about 18 months to two years.
Indulge With Me (With Me In Seattle Book 10) Page 13