by Kate Everson
The Dunes Saga
by Kate Everson
Copyright 2011 Kate Everson
Chapter 1: The Spirit of the Dunes
I first visited the Dunes on a cold, rainy morning when the sun was barely visible through dense, gray clouds. I walked alone. There was no one else.
The Dunes changed everything.
Or, rather, She did.
She was tall, slim, and held her arms aloft like she commanded the sky. In fact, She only commanded the small, but magical realm of the Dunes, but it was enough. About her lay the sand, in rolling mounds, penetrated by small flowers and tufts of tough grass, shooting upwards, as if they too wanted to rule the sky.
She was the emperor, the Queen of her small but significant domain. She shot straight up into the sky, as if assaulting it in perpetual combat, eager to maintain her supremacy. To me, She was a goddess.
I felt no need to bow to her when I first entered her realm. I walked through the dunes, took my pictures and left. But as I walked away, I felt her watching me. I turned, and there she was, regal, those emperial arms ever skyward, her chin high. She was no fool. She knew I would return.
Of course. I was back the next day. I left my camera behind this time, intent on feeling the space of the dunes. I needed to find out what was really there, beyond the sand. Beyond her.
She smiled as I entered, her long nose pointing to the tops of cedars along the marsh. She knew I was hers. She had no need to rush.
I walked the Dunes, silently, hearing the birds call, and letting my thoughts be still. I felt the wind whip up, rustling the tops of the pines. Near the pond, a frog chirped and it jumped for cover. My heart pounding wildly. What lay ahead?
There was driftwood on the sand, bleached by the sun. Tufts of prairie grass sprouted up around it. Tiny yellow flowers pierced the ground, and some miniature white bells held aloft by strong, deep, green leaves.
I saw ducks in the marsh, hiding from me, holding steady so I wouldn’t see them beyond the tall grasses. I walked past, is if I had fallen for their disguise. At a rise in the dunes, the cedars offered gnarled and twisted roots to the sky. I felt their pain.
Suddenly, a blue butterfly flitted over the dunes, just by my feet. When it landed it was invisible, its tiny wings closed in camouflage. I bent low to find it, and it dashed off, excitedly. Then it fluttered by again, here and there, and finally, I held out my hand and it landed softly on my outstretched palm. The blessing of the blue butterfly.
I felt like I was a part of her now.
She was my goddess, my ruler. I was just another part of her realm and I must obey her every command.
Where could I go to find peace? Only here, in the Dunes, on the sand, beneath the pines, under her ever-present watch.
I did not mind so much. I had been looking for a goddess. I dropped to my knees in adoration. I could be her slave. Secretly, reverently, I would do as she commanded.
There was nothing left to do but visit her daily, bringing her gifts, small sacrifices, tokens of my gratitude. I wished for nothing but to belong to her.
If she should love me, it would be a bonus. But I expected nothing from her. She was the one above all, and I was her lowly servant. After all, who can command the wind? Only She.
I listened for sounds of her every day in my work, in my home, in my life. I could not always be with her in the Dunes, but I could imagine her presence. Was that her tapping on my window? Or was it the wind? Was that her making a noise in the kitchen, like something falling down? Maybe she wanted me to know she was here too.
A goddess does not just stay in one place. Oh, she looked quite stuck up there in the Dunes, but I knew better. My Queen is everywhere. She is in my house. She is in me. Nothing else would do.
I tried to separate myself from her. I pretended that everything was like it was, that I had an identity, a personality unique to me. But that was just fool’s play. I was nothing without her.
And then something happened.
The trees began to speak to me.
They seemed to know me now, to recognize me. Was it because of her? Did she let them know that I had been tamed?
The tallest pine seemed to call my name as I passed by.
A tiny flower whispered sweetly when I walked near.
Even the clouds smiled and flew upwards in joy when I was around.
The Queen, my goddess, had made me special. I was not me any more. I was subject to her. If I belonged to her, I was part of her realm and ever creature knew it.
This was something quite unexpected. I thought I might like being her servant, but had no idea what that would mean. Her realm was so vast. Not only the trees and creatures recognized me now, but everything that had a soul.
It was the Oneness I had been looking for.
No more alone. No isolation. Not unique or individual, but part of a vast cosmos of soulful beings who exist in another realm as well as here, in the material world.
My feet struggled out of shoes and felt the sand as if for the first time. Toes scrunched up and wiggled in delight. Free.
But beyond the tactile, the sensual, there was something else.
Inside me, I felt a heart beat.
At first it sounded like a tiny baby, tap-tap, tap-tap. Then it got louder and louder. TAP-TAP, TAP-TAP. Suddenly, I was a part of the beat. Tap-TAP. That was me! I was Mother Earth’s heartbeat. It was in me!
I began to dance in the sand, in the sun, in my bare feet, my heart tapping the rhythm. And the whole sky danced with me.
The most marvellous explosion of clouds burst into the air, the wind blowing their white tops everywhere. It was like we were all part of the same excitement. They felt what I felt, and we were part of the grand adventure!
I longed to soar with them, to feel that freedom of blue sky and endless space. I felt like I almost could … if only, only, I could let go just a little bit more.
I lay down in the Dunes and looked up at the goddess. She was watching, with that half smile of hers. She knew. She always knew. She knew before things even happened. She was in eternal time, past, present, future all rolled into one.
It must be a delightful place to be.
For now, I was just grateful to be here. In her magic kingdom. Yet here on earth at the same time. In my flesh, yet soaring in spirit. Ah, it was grand!
When it was time to go home, I did so regretfully. I wished this day would never end.
But I knew that life, as it is, must go on. The play must be played. Whatever act I was in I had no idea. Was this the beginning or the end? How long would my life go on and what would happen?
At this moment, I knew I had to surrender. This, indeed, was the greatest gift of all. The goddess, just by her silent presence, had instilled in me everything I needed to survive and thrive in this world, in this lifetime. She had given me everything in the deepest part of me, inside my very core, in my heart and soul.
It wasn’t her alone, but everything she was, that had been my benefactor. The oneness of the blue butterfly and the strength of the Dunes was now mine.