“I apologized a hundred times already.”
He knew that. Just like his father had apologized to him and all his siblings Saturday night. “Then you’ll apologize again. As many times as it takes.”
“I don’t think she’ll forgive me for this. And I can’t really blame her. I beat myself up over it for years before I finally convinced myself we were happy, we had a great life, a great family, so that one night didn’t really matter. It was nothing after all.” His brow furrowed in a deep frown. “A nothing that led to a baby.”
“You not knowing about Grayson isn’t your fault, Dad.”
He shook his head, the exaggerated movement revealing the effects of the alcohol. “I know that, rationally I know, but it doesn’t matter in here.” He pressed his hand to his chest, face twisted as if it hurt. Tears filled his eyes, and his head lolled forward toward his chest as he mumbled, “I should’ve told her.”
A quiet knock turned Asher to the door, and he rose to meet Elena halfway across the room. He gave her brief smile as he took the tray loaded with coffee, cups, and a couple of sandwiches. “Thanks. Good call on the food.”
“You guys okay?”
“We will be.”
She gave an understanding nod and a light squeeze on his forearm. “Anything else, just let me know.”
By the time his father drank some coffee and ate half the sandwich, he’d rebounded enough to stop wallowing. Asher directed the conversation to positive actions until Loyal and Merit arrived an hour later with campaign stuff. The four of them worked into the afternoon, and after four, Celia and Shelby joined in. It felt like old times, if they didn’t dwell on the fact Mom didn’t bring in afternoon treats. They all noticed, but none of them spoke it out loud.
It was almost six p.m. when Asher pulled Loyal aside. “Honor’s making dinner. You guys got this?”
“Yeah, we’re good. I’ll see you later.” He raised his eyebrows and clapped him on the shoulder. “Or, maybe not.”
Asher grinned on his way out the door, sent Honor a text he was on his way, then spent the next fifteen minutes unaccountably nervous on the drive home. He thought of his mom again, and used voice command to call her cell phone.
It went straight to voicemail, and he left a quick message as he pulled into his garage. “Hey, Mom. I hope you’re doing okay. First off, know that I love you, and I’ll love you no matter where any of this ends up. Dad’s pretty wrecked right now, and that’s not to make less of what you’re going through, but just to let you know he loves you more than anything. When you’re ready, I hope you will give him a chance to talk before you make any decisions. And if you need to talk, or if you need anything at all, please know we’re all here for you. Love you.”
He ended the call and shut off his car to make his way across the street. Just like the first time he’d gone to Honor’s the night after his parents’ anniversary party, his pulse raced with a combination of nerves and anticipation. He was doing his best to keep the sliver of doubt from earlier in the day from rearing its ugly head when his phone buzzed a text notification.
Honor: Door’s open.
Realizing she must’ve seen him, he tried for a glimpse through the kitchen window but saw she’d drawn the curtains. The door handle easily twisted beneath his hand, and he called out, “Hello,” as he stepped inside.
“In here,” she replied from the kitchen.
All it took was the sound of her voice to make his heart leap with excitement. As he shut the door, his gaze snagged on a pair of charcoal gray leggings lying on the floor near the entry, and with his next step, he saw a pink T-shirt crumpled near the foyer wall. Curiosity took him around the corner, and his brain registered a bra and panties scattered halfway between him and the kitchen island at the same moment he lifted his gaze.
His instinct to confirm what he’d seen on the floor was instantly overridden by his stunned double take when he saw Honor next to the island holding a pastry bag of frosting—wearing nothing but her apron. Her hair was down, the luscious red curls spilling over her shoulders and down her back, but it was the sight of her bare breasts, the outer edges of her dusky pink areolas peeking out on either side of the apron, that robbed him of his breath and sent a jolt of heat fizzing through his veins.
“How do you feel about dessert first?” she asked in a slightly unsure voice.
He forced his steps to be slow and deliberate while raking his greedy gaze down the length of her luscious body and back up to her beautiful, flushed face. “I’m always up for frosting.”
Right now. Literally.
Her gaze dropped below his waist, then lifted, and the tremulous smile she gave him wiped away any doubt festering in his mind. Or his fear of it anyway.
She still looked a little nervous when he moved in for a kiss, but she raised her arms to loop around his neck. He crushed her close, devouring her mouth, relishing her sweet scent and savoring the unique flavor of her on his tongue. His restless hands slid down past the apron strings at the small of her back, and he groaned against her lips when he cupped her bare ass to tug her against his arousal.
“Best dessert ever,” he declared, his voice rough.
“You’ve barely gotten a taste,” she breathed.
“Hmm.” He walked her around to the side of the island next to the sink and hoisted her onto the empty counter. Empty save for a condom. “As of right now, I have a new rule about dessert.”
“What’s that?”
He captured her gaze as he took the bag of frosting from her hand. “Take my time and savor every bite.”
Her throat muscles worked in a hard swallow, but her heated green gaze never left his as she reclined on her elbows and shook her hair back over her shoulders. The movement jostled her breasts, spilling them farther out the sides of the apron. He moved in between her spread legs and piped frosting around the tip of each exposed nipple, his hands trembling with need.
Her breathing had gone shallow by the time he was done, and her low moan of pleasure when he bent to suck the first one clean made his body throb hard. Urgency tensed his whole body, but he honored his new rule and took his time, making her climax twice before sheathing himself to thrust deep into her welcoming heat right there on the counter. Afterward, her warm lips tickled his throat as she murmured his name against his sweat-slick skin.
Right then, he knew it didn’t matter how long they had together. No matter the risk, his heart was indeed hers, and he would cherish every minute with her—be it a week, a month, or thirty-five years.
He prayed for the thirty-five and more.
CHAPTER 29
“This is getting serious.” Mae selected a white chocolate raspberry swirl cupcake from the bakery box on Roxanna’s coffee counter and joined Honor at one of the café tables. “You’ve never been with a guy this long.”
The second part was true. Unless she counted her boyfriend the summer between junior and senior year of high school—which she didn’t. If ‘real’ love didn’t last, then teenage love definitely didn’t last. And it hadn’t even been love with Derek, just him trying to get into her pants.
The first part appeared to be equally as true—which scared the living daylights out of her more each day. It had been a little over three weeks since Asher had brought her a burger, stayed the night, and then woke her up with breakfast in bed. She’d returned the favor by surprising him in the kitchen wearing only her apron. She’d nearly chickened out, but was so glad she hadn’t after he gave her the best sex of her life in the kitchen, and again later upstairs.
Since then, they’d been spending time together every day, learning about each other, their lives, and their families. They talked—sometimes argued—about anything and everything while she baked and he worked on his laptop. Sometimes he stayed overnight at her place, sometimes she walked across the street to his—after Loyal returned to Texas.
They’d eaten dinners together, gone for walks, drives in his Camaro, and even mountain biking a couple times. H
e took that shit as seriously as cars and cake, and she’d still had fun despite sore muscles later.
He’d helped her deliver cakes, and in return, she’d played camera assistant on a couple of his jobs. She discovered she loved watching him work. His concentration, attention to detail, and the instinct he had for getting the perfect shot made him an exceptional photographer, no matter if the subject was plant, animal, landscape, or person. She’d even found herself his subject on more than one occasion, both while working and playing.
Things seemed perfect. She was happier with Asher than she could ever remember being, which was the exact reason her mounting anxiety was becoming harder to brush aside. Chest-tightening panic had struck a few times in their quiet moments together. Emotional moments. He always managed to say or do something just right to make her smile, or laugh, or turn her into a mindless puddle of desire, but when she was by herself, fear, doubt, and common sense would resurface with a vengeance.
Seeming perfect wasn’t perfect, and something this good couldn’t last. All she had to do was look at his parents. His mother had returned home last week, and while she put on a good public face with the governor, Asher had told her they were still not speaking in private. The household was positively glacial as they awaited the results of the second DNA test Grayson had finally consented to have done.
Honor toyed with her coffee cup, watching her best friend peel the wrapper from her cupcake, while Roxanna poured steaming water over a tea bag in her mug and reached for a honey stick. Mae was still working her remodel job a few blocks away, and she’d taken to popping in for a coffee break when Honor brought fresh cupcakes each morning.
Mae and Roxanna had clicked right away, while Honor and the psychic had moved from toleration to tentative friendship.
Her best friend’s revealing comment about her having never been with a guy this long exposed her worries in one succinct sentence, and she found herself revealing, “He asked me to go to Wyoming with him next week.”
The brunette store owner paused mid-reach for a spoon. “He did?”
She nodded, her stomach tightening at the surprise in Roxanna’s voice. “The first time he asked, he joked about me skydiving with him, so I didn’t think much of it.”
Mae jerked her attention up from the treat in her hand, her blond hair swaying about her shoulders. “You? Jump out of a plane?”
Honor laughed at her wide eyes and arched brows. “I know. I told him it was never gonna happen.” Spending three weeks with him was the riskiest thing she’d done in years. Or ever. “But this morning, he suggested I still come with since I haven’t filled the cancellation for the last weekend in June.”
Mae licked white chocolate frosting swirled with raspberry from her finger. “Are you going to go?”
Her stomach clenched again, knotted in an unsettling combination of anticipation and anxiety. “I’m not sure. I want to go, but I’m a little scared it’ll ruin everything.”
More like a lot scared.
Roxanna sat down with her mug. “How would it ruin everything?”
Indecision held her tongue. Much as she wanted her input, there was the whole best friends factor. What if Asher ended up hearing all about this little chat-fest?
“I wouldn’t betray your trust, Honor. I promise, whatever you say is between us.”
She scraped her thumbnail up and down the seam of her cup while the psychic stirred her tea. “I’m afraid he’ll read too much into it.”
In fact, Roxanna’s earlier surprise was a perfect indication the concern had merit. If the invite wasn’t standard operating procedure for him, then maybe it was as big a deal for him as it was her.
He was an amazing guy—and the sex was equally so. But in the back of her mind was the ever-present nagging reminder of the psychic’s warning the night of his parents’ anniversary party. Asher believed in love, and all the stuff they were doing together pointed to him settling in for the long haul. She’d never let herself get in too deep before and couldn’t help worrying about allowing herself to now.
“Maybe you’re reading too much into it,” Mae said.
“Really?” She frowned at her friend. “You think so?”
“It’s just a couple days away, right?”
“Yes, but you’re the one who said it was getting serious.”
“Forget that.” She waved her free hand and then tucked her blond hair behind her ear. “Forget serious. Put it all out of your head and just relax and have fun. Take your own advice, you know?”
“I am having fun.” More so than she ever had with someone before. But it was hard to put it out of her head when even that made her nervous. She kept expecting the feeling to go away, or at least fade, but each time she saw him, her pulse still leapt like the first time she’d spotted him at his friends’ wedding almost six weeks earlier.
“When you think about it,” Mae continued, “maybe this has been the longest relationship you’ve ever had, but in guy-time, you two have been together for like two minutes.”
Together. Relationship. Hard to forget serious with those other two words added to the mix.
Roxanna arched an eyebrow. “Guy time?”
“Yeah. A month or so in, most guys are stuck in the having fun-slash-hanging out phase.”
Honor cocked her head. “And you’re basing this off of what, Miss I Haven’t Had Sex in Six Years?”
“Hey—you don’t say that out loud.” She looked around, but the closest customer was at the front of the store.
Roxanna pantomimed zipping her lips shut and tossing the key over her shoulder. Honor flipped her palms skyward. “It’s a fair question.”
Mae made a face before answering. “Jen and Becca each waited over three years for their engagement rings. It took my brothers five and seven years to propose. And what about the guys you consult for proposals? Are they promising ‘til death do us part after barely a month?”
“No.”
“There you go, then. Stop over-thinking this thing and let yourself live in the moment for once. He’s going to be working half the time anyway, so just go with him and have fun.” She lifted the last bite of cupcake as she looked at Roxanna. “Don’t you agree?”
Honor’s pulse picked up speed as she waited for the brunette’s response.
“Yeah, definitely.”
The indifferent agreement didn’t settle Honor’s anxiety, but Mae didn’t seem to notice as she rose to her feet and picked up her coffee. “See? And if you ask me, I think you should skydive, too.”
“Well, I didn’t ask you.”
She grinned and headed for the door. “Let me know when you’re leaving.”
After the chimes faded back to harmonious flutes, Honor met Roxanna’s somber gaze. Her stomach flipped over as she asked, “What do you really think?”
“Skydiving could be fun.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Roxanna’s soft sigh confirmed she did. “I think…if you’re in this…relationship with the expectation it’s going to end, then you’ll find a reason to end it. That doesn’t seem fair to Asher or you.”
After a moment, Honor realized she was right. It wasn’t fair to him at all. She didn’t want to get hurt, but hurting him would be worse. Letting this thing between them go too far would be much worse.
The voice in her head tried to speak it was far too late, but she drowned it out with a goodbye to Roxanna and turned up the radio on her way home.
CHAPTER 30
A sher unpacked cartons of Chinese take-out on his coffee table and glanced at Honor sitting to his right on the couch. She’d appeared apprehensive when she first arrived, but then she’d melted into his kiss hello in that way that always melted his heart. Yet, once again, when she stepped away, something seemed to shift, and it had felt like an end to more than their kiss.
Unease formed a knot in the pit of his stomach that refused to go away. Everything had been going great, especially the past couple of days. This mornin
g, they’d slept in and then snuggled in her bed with coffee and croissants. They’d parted with a long, lingering kiss…so, what had changed from then to now?
“Everything okay?” he asked carefully.
She shot him a quick sideways smile while reaching for chopsticks and a carton of chicken and broccoli. “Fine. How was the shoot?”
Last thing he wanted to talk about right now was work when she wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Same old routine. I can’t wait for next week.”
Her fingers tightened on her chopsticks, and he recalled Roxanna’s earlier text. Don’t push too hard. When she’d refused to elaborate, he’d been stuck wracking his brain as to what she meant. Honor’s texts through the day had seemed normal, but what could really be judged from texts?
Seeing her tension now at the mere mention of the Wyoming trip, he was pretty sure he’d figured out what not to push too hard about. “Speaking of next week,” he began.
“I can’t go,” she blurted out. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He forced himself to sit back casually with his food when he really wanted to take her hands and kiss her and seduce her into saying yes. The tactic had worked well the past few weeks whenever he sensed her head getting in the way of her heart. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to go. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Her gaze met his for a long second, then shifted away. “It’s just that even though I don’t have a wedding cake client, I still need to make cupcakes for Roxanna’s. I need the sales to make up the difference from the cancellations so I can make my house payment. And I need to start figuring out a way to drum up some more bookings, or I won’t be living here very long.”
At first he was thinking about her over-justifying saying no when he’d already more than let her off the hook, but then the very last part registered. He hadn’t realized her budget was so tight. “Do you need help? Because I can—”
Must Love Frosting: Must Love Diamonds Series, Book 1 Page 21