Tonight, she had thought her heart would never heal and she would always have to see the man she loved, love someone else. But he loved her. Loved her.
And she knew that it was fast, but it felt so right that she wasn’t going to question it again. Yes, they had never spoken before today, but that didn’t matter to her in the long run.
He knew the secrets she had, and he didn’t judge her for them. Didn’t tell her that she should stop. He wanted to see her hard work, and he still wanted to be with her.
Eden would count her blessings always. She fell into her bed with a smile on her face and dreamed of the future with the man she loved.
Chapter Five
Jacob St. Andrew
London, England Oct 1812
Jacob St. Andrew looked out of his cell window at the moon. He sighed. Night after night he looked at the moon and wished his life was different. That he wasn’t stuck in this godforsaken place and was out in the world where he belonged. With his wife and his sons.
He wished that his brother, Edward, hadn’t been born the way he had been. He hated his brother, had for years because he was pure evil.
Jacob never knew why he was the way he was. Their childhood was normal. They had loving parents, and Jacob had never thought they had wanted for anything.
They had love, and anything they could wish for, but it wasn’t enough for Edward. Not by a long shot. From when they were small children Edward was mean.
He was always doing horrible things to small animals and other children.
Unspeakable things sometimes. Jacob had seen his brother hurt and kill small animals in horrifying ways more than once, and it always shook Jacob to the core.
They may have been twins, being completely identical from their hair, to each freckle on their faces, but their personalities were as different as night and day.
Jacob had stayed far away from his brother, not wanting to be around him, or the taint he carried around him like a cloud. Jacob hated being in the same room with Edward.
When their mother died, they were both young, only ten years of age, and Edward had spiraled out of control. And what Jacob thought had been evil before was nothing to what had come next. Their mother had been the only one who could control Edward. Could calm his anger. Until her unexpected death.
She had gotten sick one day and had spent the rest of her short life in bed, coughing her life away. It wasn’t good in the household and Edward had gone insane. It was a horrible day when she died, and Jacob had hated to see his beautiful mother, Cecilia die. To change from the strong woman, she had been to a shell of herself.
Their father Harold had turned to his books, and instead of spending his days trying to teach his children everything there was to know about the Dukedom, he stayed in the library or his office and cared not what his oldest son did.
Jacob had paid attention to everything Harold had taught them about the Dukedom, even though Edward was older, and Jacob would never be the Duke.
He had to learn though. It was important to Harold, so it was important to him. And though the lessons he learned at his father’s feet would never come to pass, Jacob was grateful for them, nonetheless.
Edward had cared not at all about the Dukedom, or the lessons Harold taught them. Instead he spent his days carousing about London and their small village.
And as they grew older, Edward’s mean streak turned from Edward being a rotten bully, to something pure evil.
He would beat up on anyone who looked at him sideways, made women uncomfortable with his advances, that were always unwanted, and would hurt his stallions, or the stable hands for getting in his way.
Jacob knew about the many women Edward had seduced. Over the years there were several maids, a few women from the village and a few of the older, bored and married women of the ton.
And even though he was young when this started, at the age of three and ten years of age, both he and Edward were very tall, and Edward looked older than he was.
Jacob only found out about some of the women Edward had seduced by accident. But, the one that stood out for Jacob was that Jacob knew Edward had gotten a maid in their household pregnant and knew about his nephew.
Harold wouldn’t acknowledge the child, or the fact that his oldest son was such a rake at such a young age, and Edward hated his father more and more because of the lack of acknowledgement for his eldest son.
Jacob knew that Edward did half the things he did because he hoped it would bother their father so much that Harold would give a damn, but he never did. So, Edward continued to run wild. And his streak of evil deeds continued to get worse and worse with each passing year.
He remembered one day, they had come back to their country home after their first season, and Edward was not happy about it.
He had thrown a fit and had been in such a rage Jacob worried about any and all who got in his way. And that had come to pass when Jacob was out riding the estate and he heard a scream.
Jacob made it to a small cottage at the edge of the village, and very carefully looked through the window. Where he saw Edward raping a woman. He was holding her down, and she was fighting, kicking and screaming. But since Edward was twice her size, her fighting was in vain, and before Edward had even finished his deed, her body had gone lax and Jacob watched as Edward killed the woman. His hand tight on her throat, and her fight gone as the light left her eyes.
Jacob had cringed and had retched in the bushes. Edward heard him unfortunately, and Jacob barely escaped his brother’s wrath.
He rode straight to his father, bursting into the library, shaking uncontrollably. And after hearing the dark deed his eldest son had done, Harold could no longer turn a blind eye.
He went to the constable and with a heavy heart, turned his son into the authorities. Edward had been taken away from the home in chains, screaming and fighting the entire way into the carriage that took him to Newgate, and Jacob and Harold went to London to see that Edward be brought to justice.
Harold hated seeing his son in prison, but Jacob had gone with his father to keep him strong. And Edward had confessed to more dark deeds, which made Harold turn away from his son, and leave without a backwards glance.
Harold had gone to see Edward again after a few days and told Edward that he was no longer his son, and he was never going to think of him again.
That he was disowning him so completely. He told Edward that he would make certain his name would never be spoken again and had told Jacob and Koryn that if he ever heard Edward’s name spoken in the house again, they too would be disowned and removed from the family like Edward had.
His name would also not be part of the family history. Harold had taken his name off every single document, out of all the family books and made it seem like Edward had died.
Had even had a headstone made, along with a story of his death. Harold had been so ashamed of his son that he would not allow anyone to visit him again. Telling the prison that Edward was not allowed to send them or anyone else correspondence of any kind and that if he did, it would not end well.
Edward had gone completely insane when he had heard this and killed a prison guard in his fury. This, on top of the other murder of the girl, was enough for the judge to send Edward to prison for the rest of his life.
Harold paid extra to the prison warden and to the judge who tried Edward’s case to make certain he would live, and to not get put to death. He wanted Edward to live with his failure and his guilt. That he would know he was no longer part of the legacy he had been born into.
Jacob had wanted to see him, but Harold forbade it. So, Jacob let it go. His brother had brought it on himself. He lived his life and found the most perfect woman to be his wife.
Lydia was such a wonderful woman, and Jacob loved her so. They were very happy in their love, and Harold had approved wholeheartedly with their marriage. After they wed, Lydia found out not long after that she was expecting, and they had been over the moon with their happiness.
/> Jacob worried for her during her pregnancy, as she had been sick through the entire pregnancy, but she reassured him everything was fine. And she was right.
She gave birth to their beautiful twin boys, Aidan and Nicholas, whom Jacob then decided to call Cole.
He loved those tiny boys more than life itself, and each night before bed, he would hold them close to his chest and sing them a song he had made up for them until they fell asleep.
He loved being their father. Seeing how they grew, watching every moment of them growing up and loving each minute.
When he had to go to London for Parliament for his father, he hated those weeks away from his children, and his wife. All he wanted was to get home to them.
When the boys turned two, Jacob had gotten a very strange letter that made the blood rush from his face. He had had to sit down and had done so, crashing into the chaise lounge in front of the fireplace in his office.
It was a letter explaining how the person knew about Edward, and how they were going to demand Jacob to pay them, or they were going to share the story to all of London society, so everyone would know their secrets and their shame.
Jacob knew he had to go speak with them and pay what was necessary. Harold would have demanded it. And Jacob didn’t want Harold to have this unnecessary stress. Harold had aged quite a bit in the last few years that Edward had been gone. And Jacob knew it was because he felt guilty. Jacob had overheard his ranting one day about it and Jacob hated that even though Edward wasn’t even here, he was still causing grief and harm.
So, Jacob never told Harold about the letter, instead going to London with the excuse that he needed to see someone about a house he wanted to purchase.
He told Lydia that same story and left his wife and small boys home. Hoping against hope that this wouldn’t affect them at all.
Jacob left their estate to find out what the person knew. When he got to the home, he had been invited inside and had been hit on the head from behind, knocking him out with the blow.
When he came to, he had been locked in a room without any means of escape. He called out and tried to get out of the bonds he was in, but he couldn’t get free.
The door had opened after the second day, letting light in the almost completely dark room, and a woman came in the room, one whom Jacob recognized.
It was the maid who had Edward’s child. She sneered at him then, “You thought Edward would simply disappear and never return. You thought wrong. After I groom you to his exact specifications, you will be taking his place in Newgate, and Edward will finally have the justice he deserves.”
Jacob had screamed his denial, but if fell on deaf ears. Every day he fought to get free, but it was always in vain. He hated being stuck and at someone’s mercy.
The woman kept him there for weeks, the days and nights blending, until one night, she drugged his food, and when he woke up again, he was in a dank, dark cell in Newgate.
He looked around the cold cell, that was made of dark stones, and had a small cot in one corner, and a small bucket in the other. One that reeked of filth. Jacob’s eyes landed on his brother, and he fought to stand, but the drugs he had been given made him sluggish, and slow.
His brother was wearing new clothes and looked the same as he had before he had left. He was healthy and strong, his hair cut exactly the way Jacob’s normally was. And while Jacob now had a full beard after the weeks he had been in isolation, his brother’s face was shaved smooth.
Jacob tried to fight and scream, but nothing worked in his body or his mind. He was too drugged to do much of anything but watch as his brother transformed into himself.
Edward just laughed. “I have waited years for this day and I finally get my justice brother. Our father has almost breathed his last breath. He brought it on himself when he had me locked away in here. I also cannot wait to meet your beautiful wife. I hear she is lovely.”
Jacob’s voice finally started working and he seethed, “Father did nothing but put you where you belong. And don’t even think about touching my wife.”
Edward smiled, “Father deserves everything I am about to do to him. You also will get your comeuppance for putting me away in here. Believe me brother, I am going to enjoy every single minute of freedom I have. And trust me when I say, I am going to do more than touch her. She is my wife after all. She will expect me to touch her.”
With that, he walked out the door and it slammed shut behind him. The darkness in the cell now absolute.
Jacob had been in this cell since that day. He hadn’t known what hell awaited him, but it was a hell that his brother, in his madness had laid out for him.
He didn’t know that Edward had done horrible things since he had been put in prison and that as a punishment for Edward going crazy and killing a few of the inmates, was that he would be sent to the prison hulks.
The ships that were only supposed to hold 40 men, often housed a hundred or more. Men got sick from being in prison, then would bring the sickness to the ships and most never lasted long out there. The quarters were too close, and disease ran rampant through the ship.
He lasted out in those ships a lot longer than most men would. But, when he finally got sick and almost gave into death, they brought him back here, nursed him into semi-health and left him.
He recovered, slowly and surely and ever since then, he did the same thing day after day, which was to hone his reflexes, train his body, make it strong and write letters to his wife.
He knew they would never get sent, as part of Edward’s punishment was no outside communication to his family. But he would try.
He stopped trying to convince the guards to let him out, that he wasn’t Edward and that it was a mistake he was here after he had gotten beaten almost to death the second time, and he just sat alone every day, wishing and praying his brother had left his family alone.
That he wouldn’t hurt them in any way. That he wouldn’t take his anger out on them. The innocent boys and his innocent wife. But he had a feeling deep inside that Edward would do just that.
He had no clue about their wellbeing, if they lived or died, if his brother had killed them out of pure spite or jealousy. He tried valiantly not to think of that possibility.
Jacob longed to see Lydia again. To hold her in his arms and never let her go. But he felt if his brother had harmed them, that he would never again get back the family he once had.
He rubbed his chest and tried to ease the ache there. He hated his brother more and more with each passing day, and if he ever got out of here and found Edward, Jacob would kill him. With his bare hands.
That was a one hundred percent certainty.
Jacob growled and turned away from the window and the small slice of the moon he could see.
He was tired, and all he wanted to do was get out of this fucking prison and live his life again.
He finally decided to lay back on his bed, and before he knew it, it was morning.
The door to his cell opened, and one of the guards came in with a stack of paper, a small book and his breakfast.
He got a small meal in the morning and one at night. He knew most of the inmates weren’t so lucky. And often, he ended up giving others his food.
Jacob also knew most shared cells, as there were a lot of inmates, and not enough room, but again, he was the exception.
He also was never allowed out of his cell. Ever. He had gotten beaten too many times to make that mistake, but he learned his lesson.
The guard cleared his throat, “I brought you a book. And the paper. I thought you might be bored.”
Jacob nodded, “Thank you.”
He didn’t say more. But it was in his teachings and his manner to be polite. So, even though he was in hell, he was still polite.
The guard smiled, “Always so proper.”
Jacob didn’t say anything, just stayed where he was, and the guard put his things down on the cot. He nodded and locked the door again.
Jacob knew some guards were n
icer than others, and some were just plain assholes. He knew the guard who brought in everything today was nice.
He always tried to make conversation, but Jacob was too weary to speak to him.
He was done with that. He didn’t need more beatings. He was too old, and he didn’t heal like he used to. So, he kept quiet.
It wasn’t like the guard could do anything anyway. Jacob was here until he died. And that was it.
Chapter Six
Cole
London, England Oct, 1812
When Cole awoke that morning, he had a huge smile on his face. He got dressed as quickly as he could, deciding on forgoing a cravat.
He didn’t need it, and he hated the damn things. He only wore them because it was expected of him, but where they were going today, he knew it wouldn’t matter.
He pulled his hair back and left the room. When he made it downstairs, Lily was there, pacing the foyer back and forth. “What are you doing here Lily? I thought you would still be asleep.”
Lily shook her head, “I wanted to go with you today. When you see Eden’s orphanage. Please, Cole. I love children and I want to bring my medicine case. You never know if they need that kind of help.”
Cole laughed, “Of course. You are kind to help them out.”
Lily breathed out a sigh of relief, and Cole smiled. “Let’s go you imp.” Lily grabbed her bag, and Cole helped her into the carriage.
When they pulled up to Eden’s home, she was outside, sitting on the top stair by the door.
Cole jumped out and Eden grinned. She ran down the stairs and looked like she wanted to jump into his arms. She slowed, and bit her lip, and looking around, she saw there was no one about, so she jumped anyway.
Cole laughed as he caught her and hugged her tightly. “I missed you last night.”
The Marquess Who Adored Me Page 6