by A R Maloney
She picked up several herself and we moved back towards the door before pausing, “She always just called me Gem.”
I wanted to break up the awkwardness between us. “You will come to the Kauri with us?”
Gema frowned, looking away before nodding. “Yes. We… well, I insisted.” Clarissa opened the door for us.
“Good, I’m glad you will be there.” I tried to smile as I spoke. Did Nova even smile much? I chastised myself. I cannot pretend to be someone I’m not. It’s not fair to either of us. I just need to keep my mouth closed until the truth can be shared. I could say something… but all around it would be received best if heard by the Kauri.
I needed to stay busy, it’s the best way for me to stay out of trouble. Looking around Mera’s room I spied empty water buckets near the door. There would be a lot of cleaning up to do. I hefted the empty buckets up and stepped outside again, this time heading towards the well. Footsteps behind me told me I wasn’t alone.
“Hey, give me one.” Gema reached over, taking a bucket from me. I nodded in response. We drew the water up, filling the buckets, and my eyes skirted over the camp which filled most of Mera’s yard. My searching stopped when I found Lance. He was shirtless, his broad back to me. I knew I was staring, and I knew that I probably shouldn’t have. I just couldn’t stop myself.
“Mera was right. It’s really not you…. You’re not Nova.” The disappointment in Gema’s voice was palpable. “She never had eyes for anyone but Kaven.”
I shook my head. “Gods, I wish I could say I was… but no. I’m not Nova. I’m so sorry for your pain, I wish I could explain….” My fumbling mouth needed to stop now. “Please, know I’m so very grateful to you… for you all, and it’s right—you should all be there with Nabaru. He’s the only one who can make sense of this.”
Gema stood, looking between me and the general. “If you’re not Nova… then who are you?”
I glanced back at the chanter, “We should get these back inside.” Avoiding the question, I picked up my bucket and moved quickly past her, heading back towards the cabin. Back to where Mera could help run interference.
I busied myself, staying to the corners—as far away from all of the questions which needed answering. Gods, I was so sick of these secrets. They never seemed to end, following me from one life to the next.
Would there ever be a time where I could just be myself? Without risking death or dismemberment for my parentage… or for having been slam-dunked into someone else’s body? It was one thing when I was the enemy in plain sight… now will they see me as a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Will I be blamed for Nova not being here? If her body has remained… does that mean her spirit is still here as well? What if we are both in here somewhere?
I began feeling sick to my stomach as my anxiety continued to escalate. I found myself bolting for the door, past a surprised Mera and ran myself straight into Lancer’s broad chest.
“Hey, are you…?” he stopped speaking when I shoved him away, passing through the doorway and running for the tree line.
I could hear his approach behind me as I leaned heavily against a white birch. I was sweating and shaking. Acid burned my esophagus as I heaved, forcing it from my gut.
He gently lifted handfuls of my thick midnight dreadlocks, holding them over my back. He began rubbing my shoulder lightly, whispering, “Shhhh.”
I could feel my nose and eyes burning. Unsure if it was from the bile or from the emotions I was fighting. I was losing the battle in my mind, and it was evident.
I felt him waving the others back towards Mera’s cabin, to the breakfast which was waiting there. My shoulder felt the cool hard wood as I pressed myself against the trunk of the birch. I rested against it and let my head hang as I fought to control my breathing.
“You okay, Skye?” Just hearing my name—My Name…. That was all it took, and I did finally lose control again. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed that tiny bit of recognition... which was everything. The reassurance that even in a strangers body, I was still me.
He handed me his water-skin and I sprayed my mouth out, spitting the remains of the bitter bile to the ground. “Thank you, Lance.” I wiped my face with my sleeve, screw decorum.
I felt his clawed hand under my chin, “Look at me.” It was a soft command, and I complied, raising my eyes to meet his. He turned me to him and grasped my shoulders lightly. “You can do this. Just hang in there, I’ve got you. We’ve got you.” I nodded, not willing to trust my voice yet. He drew my hand forward, beckoning me back towards Mera’s. “Let’s eat something, even a little bit will do you good.”
I let him lead me back to the cabin. Everyone had watched me flee, and I felt their eyes upon me as the general returned me to the group. I was grateful; they kept the topics of the morning away from me. I returned to the corner which had become my resting place of sorts. It was almost comfortable, tucked in between the counters and near one of the small windows. I could focus my vision on a small patch of earth outside and retreat in my mind, separating myself from others in a way.
I managed to eat a few small bites of meat and crusty bread… enough to assuage Mera and Lancer. As breakfast concluded, the others stepped outside to finish breaking down the combined camps. I stood to help with the cleanup but was shushed back to my spot. I felt numb and useless as the others worked around me, but many hands made for quick work. It was no time at all before we were all called out into the clearing in front of Mera’s home.
The healers had gathered outside and were debating what to do. Do we teleport or go over land to the Kauri? After what seemed like much debate, it was finally decided that I was stable enough to withstand a teleport, despite my earlier case of nerves.
Where just minutes ago I had been frustrated with holding the secret, now I found myself just as frightened to finally get the truth out. Mera moved beside me as the magi called us to move together. She gave me a reassuring nod and I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
The magus, Cole, called for our attention. “Please, let’s all take a moment to prepare for this move to the Kauri.” He looked towards Mera and nodded. “Clarissa, would you take the other side of… Nova.” He paused, not knowing what else to call me at this point.
If Lance had clued any of his team in on what was happening, they were not letting on. Clarissa took up my other side and squeezed my hand gently. She whispered a small spell to calm me and I felt a sense of light euphoria come over me as my nerves settled.
Cole looked to General Lancer and on his nod, began speaking the spell which would bring us to the trunks of the Kauri.
Chapter 19 - Return to the Kauri
~Lancer~
THERE WAS A COLLECTIVE sigh from the group as we arrived at the trunks of the Kauri of Morland. My eyes passed over each member of the group, pausing to see if there were any ill effects.
When I landed on Skye I gasped, for the briefest moment I saw her as she was, before… when we’d first met. I blinked hard a couple times and rubbed my eyes. A beautiful Ustenian woman with long navy dreadlocks and skin just a couple shades darker was looking back at me. Her eyes shining of warm moss and crimson, blazed with emotion and she gave me a shy smile.
Around us, the Kauri were coming to attention. Several eyes peeked out through the forest from the tree trunks which surrounded us. Nabaru spoke up. “Sentinels, welcome. We have been expecting you for some time.” The eyes of the elder Kauri landed on Skye with a seed of recognition. “You have returned, blessed one. We have much to discuss.” I watched her mouth open in a quiet gasp before the old tree continued. “My friends, we must speak. I would request all weapons be placed on the ground at my trunk.”
I shared a glance with Skye as we all began to remove our implements of destruction. The ground rumbled and shook as roots rose up and enveloped them, swallowing them up and effectively creating a cache of sorts. Next, Nabaru began to creak and groan slightly as thick limbs grew, pushing out from his trun
k. Bending and weaving, Nabaru had soon created spaces for us all to sit. Once everyone had their own spot the branches grew over our laps, pinning us into place.
While Skye and I had gone through this very thing before, the others were looking around nervously. “This is normal, calm your thoughts.” It was a bit of a lie, this was anything but normal, but right now calm was best. I glanced at Nabaru and raised my eyebrow, questioning that what I said was correct.
The elder Kauri merely turned to Skye. “You have undergone a great change.”
That was an understatement. I rolled my eyes and hissed in surprise as I received a light snap of a vine on my wrist.
“Where should we start?” Nabaru’s voice blew over us with a light balm. I watched as our group relaxed from the light calming breeze.
Skye caught my eye across the platform, I found myself wishing I had sat by her side. Her gaze was focused heavily upon me… questioning… seeking some direction. I did my best to reassure her with a smile and a nod.
“We should start,” she sighed to Nabaru as she looked over the group, “from the beginning. Show them everything you showed General Lancer when we first met here.”
“Very well.” A fragrant calming breeze blew once more through our group. “Be aware, young ones. You may find that you are disturbed by about to learn. For the safety of everyone in the custody of the Kauri at this time, all magics will be bound.” Nabaru began repeating the same words he had said to myself and Skye so long ago. “The Kauri have long been the record-keepers of all our world. We are the mouthpieces of the gods. Ever since the gods created the land, the sky, and the creatures… we were the first. And we have memories of all which has been brought to us. We have long kept out of the warring and bickering between the peoples of this world, but there are things you must know and understand.”
He waited until he was sure he had the attention of all who were seated. Moments later the memories came, driven into the minds of each in our little group. They started when our world was whole. Next came the first invasions by the Lluren. The path of destruction left in their wake was immeasurable.
The people had prayed to the gods for help, and the gods had answered. Memories were shared of the first groups of sentinels gaining use of magic and ascending. The gods had spoken through the Kauri at that time, the armies of Eluna grew stronger and were putting up a good fight against the Lluren.
Many years passed and the warring continued. Hopes of peace between the Lluren and the peoples of Eluna brought many together for talks, it was believed a treaty could be made. The parley came to a screeching halt when fighting suddenly resumed, though it was unknown even by the Kauri who struck the first blow.
The battle raged at the gates of the capital city and it was decided that the only way to save the people of Eluna at this point was to fire the nuclear weapons. However, disaster struck. Half of the weapons never left their housings, detonating while still far underground. While the Lluren were beaten back, it came at a great price. Eluna was nearly torn in half, the molten core of our world, left exposed. Everything that had been caught in the blasts that wasn’t destroyed, was twisted, mutated, and forever changed.
Nabaru took a moment to allow the group to process this. Mera spoke up first. “This is how we, the Ustenians, came to be.” It wasn’t a question; she had lived through it.
“Yes, ranger, you are correct.” The elder Kauri responded.
Several pairs of eyes landed on Mera, ranger? Everyone assumed she was sentinel also, but as far as any of our minds could reach, she was just known as an alchemist, a witch.
“Many families were torn apart, separated by the Great Break.” Nabaru inclined his tree-face to Mera. “Keep your hearts open as I continue your lessons.”
He next showed the stories of Soulkos and Serafina. Soulkos had been well-known to many of the Ustenians for his valor and his dedication to the people in the earliest days following the Great Break. Not many knew exactly what had happened to him and his family, only that they had been overwhelmed by Lucenian raiders.
He showed the love as the Lucenian, Serafina, found her husband Soulkos again… and how Soulkos gave his life to save Serafina. We all watched again as Droghel carved Soulkos’ wings from his back as he died.
They saw memories of Serafina going into hiding, giving birth to a baby girl, Skye. They watched as the young one grew, gaining the powers of the elements and being called into the service of Lucenia as a Magus. I could feel the sentinels next to me stiffening, one calling out, “Why are you showing us this? What does a white-wing have to do with any of us now?”
The great tree shook, and the sharp snap of a reprimanding branch could be heard, followed by a yelp of surprise. Then the visions broke away from before our eyes. Nabaru growled lowly. “You will watch, and you will learn the truth. You have already seen your origins. Patience!”
I glared at those in the group who seemed unmoved. “Believe me, this is very important for us all. He is trying to show us our past, so that we may still have a future. Forgive us, elder Nabaru, please continue.”
The Kauri grunted and bathed us once again with the soothing balm. I was grateful for the aided relaxation as the images began once again. He was showing Skye once again and her first love. I admit I was feeling a bit jealous but that ended when he showed Droghel killing her love and Skye’s mother, and again, removing their wings. The thought crossed through my mind; I remembered our prisoner describing the vault which was filled with wings… how many sentinels have been kept from returning? We must find that vault.
Then he showed the memory of me, screaming at Nabaru as Skye was being held high in his boughs. Gods, I looked like an ass. I felt the awkward flush of the shame of my behavior crawl over my face. Embarrassed, as I watched the first meeting between Skye and myself. Nabaru mediating, giving us his edict to work together to find a way to bring the Lucenians and Ustenians together in a united front. I found myself praying that it’s still possible as I watched once again how easily she seemed to have wrapped me around her finger. I had fallen under her spell. I watched as I fell… in love… with the Lucenian, Skye.
“Brother, please forgive me.” I heard Kumar’s whispered apology to me as we watched him shoot her once, twice… and many times more the day we led him to believe he had returned her to the skies. Then came the rose… and her fight with Droghel. Her death. Her wings removed.
Once again, the great tree paused for us to process the information. I was sweating, trying hard to gain control of my emotions. My clawed hands were trying to dig into my armored legs. I was just forced to watch Skye die again; her wings ripped from her body while she still lived. My body was shaking, and my nose burned. I looked to where she sat in her new body and shook my head. “I’m so sorry, love.”
Gasps filled the space and I couldn’t tell one voice from the next until I heard Gema yell, “BULLSHIT! It’s your fault that Nova isn’t with us now!” Another snap of a branch from Nabaru stopped the outburst.
I looked fixedly upon Skye, who was sitting ramrod straight, unblinking. She was panting and her face was flushed. She was caught, drowning in the memories of her own torture, and it was almost too much to handle.
It was then that I began to panic… in a way I had never quite felt before. “Nabaru, I beg you. Please, calm them.” Next, I addressed the chanter, “Gema, no. Nova was gone, returned to the skies. It wasn’t Skye’s doing.”
My voice came out sounding as strangled and as tortured as the woman across from me. “I need to go to Skye, now. Please, Nabaru? May I go to her?” I don’t remember the tears falling, but my face felt damp. I was choked with anxiety as I watched Skye sitting numbly, unmoving, unresponsive to her surroundings. “Please?”
I felt the branches at my lap move away and immediately I was scampering across the limbs of the Kauri like a squirrel. I kneeled at her feet, cupping her face in my hands, whispering softly as I tried to bring her back. “You’re safe, remember? I got you.”
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br /> It seemed like minutes passed before she lifted her eyes to mine and the spark of recognition returned. She bent her forehead to mine. “Thank you, Lance.” Her voice was like bells in my ears.
Nabaru stretched his limbs a bit more, creating a seat next to Skye for me with Mera on the other side of her. “Are you okay? Can we continue?”
I could feel her heartbeat fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird beneath my palm while she nodded her assent.
The Kauri hit us all again with his calming breeze. “Nabaru, if you would, please share what my team has learned. I believe it will help to make sense of this.”
The tree nodded in agreement. I looked over the group, faces astonished, some angry, some overwhelmed with emotion as well. “Mera has known much of this, as you have seen. My team, some of them have seen bits and pieces, but not until this moment have, they had any knowledge of why I made the decisions I did. Some thought I was foolhardy, some thought I have been losing my mind… perhaps a bit of both are true. But I must stress to you all that it has been my greatest goal to do what is best for the people of Ustenia, and my faith in the gods is what guides my actions. When I was tasked with this—when we were tasked with this, it seemed… impossible. But this is an order to us from the gods. We must find a way to work together, to find peace. If not, the Lluren will destroy this world and all of our peoples along with it. Know that both me and Skye believe this with all of our hearts. She was not the only one of mixed blood, there are others. And they will be hunted down, and they will die. Also, be aware that the number of sentinels on both sides of the fight have been dwindling. I believe I have found the reason for this. Elder Nabaru, you may please continue.”
The elder Kauri began again, images of the captured prisoner and his interrogation filled our minds. The truth came out, the stockpiles of countless wings being held somewhere in the depths of Dusk Fortress. I heard Skye cry out when she learned this. So many who have been denied their return to this world. The images stopped again.