“You alright?” I rubbed her back, as she stood up.
She nodded, as she stepped over to the sink to rinse out her mouth.
I stood, watching her. “What did you eat?” I enquired.
“The same thing as you,” she sighed, as she stood upright.
I wrapped my arms around her waist. “Well, you want me to make you feel better?”
She gazed at me through the mirror. The expression on her face told me that something wasn’t right.
“What’s wrong?”
She exhaled. “Nothing.”
“Nah,” I shook my head. “Don’t give me that. Tell me what’s up,” I insisted, until I thought about it. “Wait, aint you supposed to be on your period, right now?”
She gulped.
“Huh? You don’t hear me? Cat got your tongue?” I pressed.
“Yeah,” she forced out with an attitude.
I narrowed my eyes, knowing that I’d just taken her upstairs and fucked her earlier, so I knew that she wasn’t on her period. “So, so, you don’t think that maybe we need to go grab a test or something?”
She shook her head no.
I grimaced. “Why not?”
Her gaze fell to the floor. “Because.”
“Because what?” I gritted, while slamming the bathroom door shut, ensuring that the conversation remained private.
She nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “Because I already took four.”
“Four?” I glared down at her. “And what did they say?”
She took a deep breath. “They were all positive.”
My heart skipped a beat. “But I thought that you were on the shot?”
“I am…I mean, I was. But my mama finally trusted me to follow through with an appointment on my own. Well, Keyasia was supposed to bring me, but you had just flown in, and I wanted to see you. So, I went to see you instead, and rescheduled my appointment. My doctor didn’t have an opening for a month…and things happened.”
I listened intently, processing it all. Almost immediately, I knew what I planned to do. My parents would be pissed, but they’d eventually get over it. “Okay, so when were you planning on telling me any of this?”
She shrugged, which didn’t sit right with me.
“What does that mean?”
She peered up at me. “It means that I didn’t know…if I was gonna tell you at all.”
“What? You wasn’t gonna tell me? The fuck are you talking about?”
She twisted her lips, before speaking. “Jeremy, we have all the time in the world to have kids. I’m about to begin my freshman year in college. You have football. This just isn’t the ti---”
“Hell nah,” I cut her off. “Don’t give me that bullshit. None of that shit matters. I aint about to let you kill my baby. I don’t give a fuck what you say.”
She closed her eyes. “See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. Bae, you know I love you, and I wanna give you a million babies. Just not right now.”
“Now or later, what’s the fucking difference? We both have fucking trust funds, Jhyrah. I’m talking millions,” I reminded her. Our parents had hustled hard back in the day, ensuring that we lived our best lives. They were financially smart and had put money away for us years ago, so we didn’t have the ordinary concerns of most kids. We were set and having kids at whatever age wouldn’t change any of that.
“You’re not seeing the bigger picture, Jeremy. And besides, this is my body and my decision.” She sassily folded her arms over her breasts.
I curled my lips. “Your fucking decision, huh?”
“Say,” I heard Keesy’s voice on the other side of the door, as he knocked. “Bring yall nasty asses out of there. Get a room. A nigga gotta shit.”
“Man, hold up!” I shouted through the door. “I’m handling something!”
“Nigga, hurry up,” he urged.
“Let’s let him use the bathroom,” Jhyrah suggested.
“Nah, fuck all that. Run that shit by me again. It’s your decision, huh?”
She breathed. “You heard what I said.”
Losing it, I slammed her up against the wall. “Say that shit again!”
Keesy was knocking again. “Lil’ Jay Rock, lil’ nigga, what you doing in there?”
Jhyrah was seething mad, as she shoved me back. “Don’t put your fucking hands on me!”
Angrily, I snatched the door open, and stepped out of the bathroom. Jhyrah sauntered out as well, before Keesy raced in, slamming the door behind him.
I glared at her. “Come on, let me talk to you outside.”
“I aint going no muthafuckin’ where with you,” she snarled.
Gritting my teeth, I grabbed her hand, and practically dragged her outside. I think she didn’t put up much resistance, because everybody would be up in our business. With this situation, I felt like that was the last thing she wanted. So together, we hopped into my whip. Gazing out into the yard, I spotted Chubby and Cocoa playing like two big ass kids, as she jumped on his back.
Frowning, I focused on Jhyrah. “What were you and Cocoa talking about earlier?”
Jhyrah wouldn’t give me eye contact.
“You don’t hear me talking to you?”
She whipped her head. “What do you think we were talking about, Jeremy?”
My nostrils flared. “So, your snake ass was plotting?”
“Plotting?” she scrunched up her face.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what the fuck you were doing! How the fuck are you gonna make that kind of decision without me…and then that dumb ass bitch agreed to help you?”
“What do you expect me to do? I can’t go by myself. I’m not old enough and I can’t tell anybody in my family. My daddy would kill me if he found out.”
I drug both palms down my face. “It’s funny that I didn’t hear you saying any of that when you’d be begging me to stick this dick to you. It’s fuck what your daddy feels then, but now you’re worried about what he’ll say. I bet Big Jah didn’t let Raven run off and kill any of his kids.”
“But we’re not them!” she belted.
“But that don’t make you fucking right, either!” I barked, punching my steering wheel.
“Say, nigga, roll down the window,” Jared insisted, as he stood outside of my door.
Exhaling, I pressed a button, easing the window down. “What’s up?”
He knelt, gazing over at Jhyrah. “You alright in here?”
I scowled. “Man, are you serious? What you mean, is she alright?”
He frowned. “Nigga, I mean exactly what I just said. You in this muthafuckin’ truck tripping. Don’t put your fuckin’ hands on her.”
Glaring at my brother, I knew that he was serious. Although he talked plenty of shit, he viewed Jhyrah as a sister, and throughout the course of our relationship their bond had only strengthened. So, I understood his protectiveness, but I didn’t appreciate his aggression being aimed at me.
“Bro, get the fuck outta my business,” I snapped.
Jared didn’t budge, as he gazed at her. “Jhyrah, you straight?”
Hesitantly, she nodded.
“You sure?” he pressed.
“Nigga, move!” I fumed.
Finally, he took heed, backing away from my Porsche. Without another word, I placed my truck in reverse, backing out of the driveway.
“Jeremy, what are you doing?” Jhyrah quizzed, voice laced with panic, as I skirted off the block, damn near on two wheels.
After I was a few blocks away from my grand parents’, I pulled over on the side of the road.
“Jeremy, take me back to Ms. Trina’s because I don’t have anything else to say to you,” she fussed.
“Shut the fuck up!” I exploded. “You don’t have the fuckin’ right to have an attitude, right now!”
“Who the fuck are you hollering at?!” she seethed.
“I’m talking to your ass,” I growled, as I jammed my index finger into her temple.
She
slapped my hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
“Don’t touch you?” I gripped her chin. “You sitting here talking about killing my baby, but I can’t touch you?”
“You fuckin’ right. Regardless of what you say, this is my body and you can’t tell me what to do.”
I tightened my grip. “Say that shit again.”
She grabbed my wrist. “Jeremy, let me go.”
“No, say that shit again,” I challenged. “It’s your body, right?”
“Get off me!” she screamed, snatching away from me, before hopping out of the truck.
I jumped out myself and stomped over to her. “Where the fuck are you going?”
“Away from you, until you calm down!” she snapped, as she called herself marching down the street.
Swiftly, I jogged after her, snatching her up. “Get back in the fucking car, man.”
Trying my best not to rough her up, I shoved her back into the truck.
“I don’t need your damn help! I can get in on my fucking own,” she fussed with tears sliding down her cheeks, as she yanked her door closed.
Shaking my head, I stepped around to the driver’s side, and eased into the truck. There was brief silence, before I finally spoke. “Look, Jhyrah, I’m telling you now…if you go through with this shit---"
Just then, I heard rubber burning on the pavement. Lifting my head, I noticed my pops hopping out of his G-Wagon. Stomping over to my truck, he tugged at Jhyrah’s door.
“Fuck,” I mumbled to myself.
“Junior, unlock this door.”
I hit the locks, and he pulled the door open. “Jhyrah, step out of the car for me,” he commanded.
She quickly obliged his request, acting like he was fucking rescuing her or something.
My pops examined her from head to toe. “You good? You’re alright?”
She nodded, while wiping away her tears, as I hopped out of the truck.
“Pops, what’s up? What’s all the questions about?”
My pops narrowed his eyes. “She’s fucking crying. The fuck you mean?”
Frustrated, I sucked my teeth. “That’s her hormones. Girls who missed their periods get like that sometimes. Ain’t that right, Jhyrah?”
She gasped, before glaring at me, while saying nothing. Yeah, I’d exposed her ass, but my pops was cool. I knew he wouldn’t run off and tell her people or anything.
“Missed their periods? Man, lil’ nigga…” My pops stroked his goatee, seemingly lost for words. “Look, I heard that you left my mama and daddy’s house like a bat out of hell. It sounded like yall was fighting and I’m making sure that you haven’t lost your damn mind, regardless of whatever the issue is. You know that I didn’t raise you to put your hands on women, right, son?”
I thought about reminding him of the times that I had to stop him when he thought that my mama was creeping on him, but I knew that I’d probably have to fight my pops if I went there. Still, I couldn’t say that I’d ever witnessed him beat my mama, but they had definitely fought, which was a tad different. Regardless, that wasn’t my aim. I just needed to address Jhyrah’s ass privately.
“Pops, I’m not about to hurt that girl. We’re just having a little disagreement and I pulled off because I don’t need everybody in my business.”
He glanced at Jhyrah. “You sure that you’re alright?”
Jhyrah sighed. “Yes, Uncle Jay Rock. I’m okay.”
Slowly, my pops nodded. “Alright. Junior, meet me back at granny and pawpaw’s in no less than thirty minutes.”
“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed.
“And don’t make me come looking for you, boy,” he warned, before hopping back into his truck, and skating off.
After my pops had rounded the corner, I stood glaring at Jhyrah. I don’t know if she was bloated or what, but she actually had a little pudge in her stomach. I should’ve known something wasn’t right, because her shit was normally flat.
With heavy attitude, she switched back over to the truck, and dropped into the passenger’s seat. Taking a deep breath, I climbed back into the truck as well. For a few seconds, I gazed into outer space, attempting to gather my thoughts. There were so many things swirling around in my mind and I quickly grew frustrated, realizing that regardless of what I felt, there was really nothing I could do to stop her. Therefore, I pulled the only trump card I had.
Licking my lips, I glanced her way. “Jhyrah,” I called out to her, causing her to snap her neck around. “This is my baby too.”
She swallowed hard. “I never said that it wasn’t.”
“But you’re acting like it aint. I guess you don’t care about what I feel, huh?”
She shook her head. “I never said that, Jeremy.”
“Nah, you may not be saying that literally, but I can’t see it meaning anything else. You’re about to make a permanent decision by yourself. How is that fair to me?”
“Bae, it’s not about what’s fair. Believe it or not…I’m doing this for you, more than anything else. I never pictured you entering the NFL with a child to tend to. That shit would be hard, especially if we’re away from home. We have no family in L.A. There’s no baby-sitters. There’s just too much to consider that would be way too stressful. And I’m not trying to defer my dreams, just to trade it in for early motherhood. I watched my mama do that. That’s not gonna be me.”
As she spoke, I couldn’t help but stare at her stomach, where my child dwelled. My baby was living in it’s last days, as their mama talked casually about their precious life being an inconvenience to her.
Her words trailed off, as I palmed her stomach and rubbed. Her eyes fell down to my hand. “Jeremy—”
“Look,” I cut her off. “I hear what you’re saying. I really do. But if you kill this…my baby that’s growing inside of you…it’s over. I’m done.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly and clouded with tears. “Jeremy,” she spoke carefully. “I…I know you don’t mean that.”
“Nah, don’t tell me what the fuck I mean. If you go through with this, Jhyrah, I can’t fuck with you, anymore. Cause nothing will ever be the same.”
Uncharacteristically, she had nothing to say, as tears slipped from her eyes. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but those tears weren’t going to change my stance. If she didn’t respect what I felt, then her fucking feelings didn’t matter, either.
Chapter 10
Jeremy
“Man, are you gonna answer that or what?” Jerrod questioned, while we played a game of GTA in our game room.
I was big chilling in a recliner, and this nigga wanted to be all in my damn business. “Why the fuck you worried about it?” I snapped.
He sucked his teeth. “Nigga, don’t get mad at me. I’m just saying. Either block the girl or turn off your ringer, cause I can’t vibe like this.”
Shaking my head, I silenced my ringing cell. Even though Jerrod had me fucked up, he legitimately had a point. For the past three days, Jhyrah had been calling me non-stop, so my phone never stopped ringing. Yeah, I could’ve blocked her or some shit, but I wanted to witness her suffering in real-time. Since she swore that she could make decisions on her own, then she could be by her damn self, as far as I was concerned.
After our talk in the car, I half way thought that I’d gotten through to her. But then Monday rolled around. I called her a few times and she didn’t answer. So, I called Chubby and asked him where Cocoa was. That’s when my cousin let me know that Jhyrah had just come through to scoop her up. That bitch had actually followed through with it and aborted my child. Unquestionably, I was infuriated, and was about to explode. So, I had to hop in my truck and just drive. I rode around all day, just thinking. A part of me thought about going over to Jhyrah’s house to confront her, letting her whole family know what her sneaky ass was really about. I wanted to inflict pain on her and physically wasn’t enough. I needed her to feel exactly how I was feeling, and the only way I knew how to do that was to remove myself from her life. So,
that’s what had to be done.
Jhyrah
“Jhyrah, mama said come eat. Unlock this door,” Jahrae demanded, twisting my doorknob.
“Tell her I’m not hungry!” I shouted, never bothering to open the door.
There was a pregnant pause, before he spoke again. “Why do you sound like that? What’s wrong?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing that I could never get anything past Jahrae’s ass. “Rae, just leave me alone. I’ll come down there in a minute.”
It took him a few seconds to respond, before he relented. “Alright, man.”
I sighed with relief, as I dried the tears easing down my face. Sitting at the edge of my bed, I was completely and utterly lost. I knew that Jeremy probably wouldn’t agree with my decision to terminate the pregnancy, but I never imagined him breaking up with me over it. For over two years, I hadn’t gone a day without speaking to him. He was the first voice I heard every morning, and the last person I talked to before I’d close my eyes at night. Even while away in Cali, we’d facetime at least ten times a day; nothing less. And now it had been three whole days without hearing his voice. I’d called him a million times, sent text after text and he had nothing to say in return.
Sadly, this situation was so fragile that I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone about it. Of course, Cocoa was aware of what I’d done because she had to accompany me to the clinic, but she wasn’t exactly someone I wanted advice from. Hell, she was still chasing Chubby all over the hood, fighting girls damn near half her age. Therefore, as cool as she was, I knew that she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. So, I had this huge burden to carry alone.
When I was younger, I’d witnessed my mama go through heartbreak and I’d naïvely assumed that because I’d seen her go through it that I understood what it was. Now I knew that I didn’t have a fucking clue back then. My stomach did somersaults as I tried to picture a future without Jeremy. My body quaked from the mere thought of it. Him moving on, being with another girl…I could not accept. I would not accept. And the more I thought about it…the more I realized that he had me fucked up. There was no breaking up with me, and if he thought that we were done…he was in for a rude awakening.
The Wild Child Page 10