“Abby told me that her very wise friend told her something that helped her take a chance. She told me at a time when I needed to take a chance on Patrick.”
My lips part. Celine has been seeing Patrick for about four months. I didn’t know she needed a talk like that.
“What happened? He seems perfect.”
“Yes, until he told me that he found out his ex-girlfriend was pregnant and the baby was his,” she replies.
“What! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because…it’s just one of those things where I’m not sure about being in that tangle, and I didn’t want to get you all worked up. Plus, I think you would have told me to ditch him.” She laughs. I’m about to tell her I would never say that but catch myself because I think that is exactly what I would say.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Like I said, I’m not sure I want to be in such a tangle of baggage. It’s messy, but we’re seeing if it works out. No point getting all worked up if it doesn’t work out. But, back to you. I just think that if you can say to me that if this was another life, maybe you could be more with Nick, then maybe there’s something there worth looking at. Of course, in your own time. He’s not rebound guy. No way. But not someone to forget either.” She raises her glass and nods.
I smile back. I’m listening but filing the info to the back of my mind.
I’m fairly certain Nick took that woman home, so my thoughts of anything like her suggestion end with this conversation.
The week goes by, then it’s two weeks, and I find I’m this woman who’s a hot mess inside.
I do my best to shake it off before Saturday, the day of the wedding, but I fail.
When Celine and I arrive at the venue, I notice that everything looks like it’s going to be perfect, so I try harder.
The wedding is being held on the beautiful and truly gorgeous grounds of Beaufort Hall. It’s a stately home in Hinsdale that dates back over two centuries. The acres of land around us has a moor and the type of scenic landscape comparable to what you’d find in Europe.
Celine and I are both in the wedding party, so we got there early to take pictures.
Nick will be with me later. He’ll be arriving with the rest of the guests.
I was fine all morning. We took those pictures, and Abby and Dylan looked so happy.
I was able to share the happiness expressed by their families and friends but started feeling that angst again as we walked down the aisle.
Mac is giving Abby away. I think if I didn’t have the prominent father figure I’ve found in Nick’s dad, I would ask him too because he’s been like a father to us all, although he’s our boss. The fact that he’s also Dylan’s uncle is all the more amazing for them as a couple.
Everything is beautiful, but what hits me as the beautiful piano music starts the wedding procession, is that I was thinking this was going to be me one day soon.
I think of me, selfishly. I knew it was going to catch up with me today at some point. I just didn’t want it to be right now.
I’m paired with one of Dylan’s brother’s who’s in uniform like his other brother because both are in the Navy. Both look like they could have stepped out of some fantasy, just like Dylan. I could home in on my old self and flirt my ass off for the whole day with all these gorgeous men around, but I just feel rotten.
I wouldn’t have the strength to flirt.
We get to our places at the top of the church where Dylan is waiting for Abby, and I start to tear up when I see the way he takes her hand like he’s taking her as his soul mate.
We file off to our seats and it’s then that I see him.
Nick.
Nick’s in the first row from the back and the end and directly in my line of sight from where we’re standing.
Something strange comes over me and I find myself looking at him like I’m looking for the comfort he normally gives me. He looks back at me too.
We stare at each other. He’s probably about twenty feet away from me, but he could be right next to me because of the strength in the intensity of the stare he’s giving me.
I don’t look away until I hear everyone cheering and clapping. Dylan is kissing Abby. I missed it. I wasn’t paying attention. I just missed it all, and now they’re man and wife. I fall in line with the cheers and applause, flushed with embarrassment of losing focus because I was staring at my best friend.
Maybe I am losing my mind.
Nick and I meet up at the reception, and I can’t get over how gorgeous he is. Dressed in a tailored Armani suit with his beard trimmed and hair neatened, he looks sharper.
“You look great,” I say after hugging him.
“In this old thing?” he chuckles, flicking the hem of his jacket.
I laugh. “Oh please, Nick Andrews wearing old things would still look amazing.”
“Oh, now that’s different. You just said amazing. Great is the thing you say about the family dog that’s still functional and not pissing all over the carpet.”
I burst out laughing. “You are too much. You don’t look like that kind of dog.”
“Well, that’s good news, but for my ego and peace of mind, I’d like clarification. Which is it baby? Do you think I look great or amazing?” He gives me his best rendition of what he calls a GQ smile.
I roll my eyes at him but decide to humor him. “You look amazing,” I tell him.
“Thank you. And you, Dr. Taylor, are by far the most beautiful woman here.”
My skin flushes with heat and I blink to try to get myself to stop blushing, as if blinking will help.
“Thank you, but you…um, can’t say that to me.” I’m trying for lighthearted.
He frowns. “Why’s that?”
“Because Abby’s supposed to be the most beautiful woman here today.”
In true Nick style, he sticks by his guns. “She has her husband to tell her that. You have me, and I’m not changing my mind. So I’ll say it again. You’re the most beautiful woman here today. I love this dress.”
“Thank you.” Best to just say that and leave it, or we’ll be here all day.
I changed out of my dress and I’m wearing something less silky and mermaid-like. Abby looked like a princess in her wedding gown and wanted her bridesmaids to have something similar so she dressed us in salmon pink, and we had our hair like hers too.
The dress I’m wearing now is a little black bodycon with diamantes splashed over it.
I thought the necklace Nick gave me for my eighteenth birthday would be a nice contrast to it, so I’m wearing that.
He reaches forward and lifts it, catching the little pendant between his fingers.
“You still have this?” he asks.
I nod. “Of course I do.”
His gaze lingers on the necklace, then he releases it. “Still looks good on you.”
“Thanks.”
“So, shall we start this date of ours? I’ve seen they’ve seated us next to the cake table and the wine table.” He puts out his hand for me to take, which I do. “How about I get the wine and you grab the cake?”
I smile up at him.
We go to our table and the evening pretty much consists of us drinking, eating, and dancing. I was enjoying his company until a tall blonde woman came over to us. I kind of noticed her looking on earlier, giving Nick the sort of attention he always gets when we’re out together.
She walks right over and the mood shifts.
“Excuse me,” she begins, and he looks up, stopping mid-speech of a joke he was telling me about Tony.
It’s clear she’s talking to him, not us, so he answers.
“Hello there,” he answers in that charming way.
“Are you Nicholas Andrews—as in linebacker for the Hawks—football legend?” she says. She has a southern accent so I’m assuming she must be one of Abby’s friends from St. Louis.
“I sure am. Didn’t think I was going to meet anyone here today who would know that,” he answers. Sh
e laughs and fans herself, and just like that I blend into the shadows like I don’t exist.
“I knew it. Can I ask a huge favor, please? My friends don’t believe you’re you. Would you mind coming over and letting them know how wrong they are? We’re all Hawk fans.”
Oh please… does he have to go over to prove he’s himself?
These women.
He looks to me. “Baby, I’ll be back in a second,” he says, standing up.
Just once, I wish he could see through the shit. Maybe he doesn’t want to, though. Maybe he knows it’s some shit excuse to get him to go over there and he’s going because he loves the female attention.
Of course he does, he’s Nicholas Andrews, and I’d do well to remember that.
I watch him go and as he does I grab a bottle of whiskey and wine and make my way into the hall.
Tonight I’m freeing my mind of everything.
I’m going to be free.
I’m going to do something wild to find my old self.
Forget this horrid spell of shit that’s taken me.
From Owen to my never-ending confusion over Nick.
Nick
Where is she?
I saw her pick up the drinks and head through the door. I thought she would be outside or nearby, but I can’t find her.
Damn it. I ended up talking to the blonde and friends for a good forty minutes. Every time I tried to get away, one of them would say something to keep me engaged in talking.
Then when the blonde asked me if I wanted to get a drink with her, I knew it was time to bale.
I politely declined, although I knew that’s what she was hedging around for the whole time I was with them.
Fucking hell, these women always get me in one way or another. She saw me with Tania. Clearly, anyone could see she’s my date, but yet she came over and sauntered her way in with that feigned innocence most women try with me. Now I can’t find Tania.
I can be an asshole when I want to be but I’m never rude. I can’t ditch a bunch of good-natured people who are asking about my football career even if they played their cards right to get me to go over to them.
This is what it cost me. Not looking rude to them made me look rude to Tania with my forty-minute absence.
I didn’t want that.
This place is huge, like a castle, and there’s so many people here. It’s the biggest wedding I’ve ever attended.
I make my way out of the dining hall, deciding she can’t be in here. There is a little patio area by the main door that has another adjoining hall where Abby and Dylan had their first dance. I thought that was where Tania went.
I make my way down the long wide corridor filled with guests and see Abby and Dylan ahead. They’re at the fountain by themselves talking and laughing.
He looks like he’s dazzling his new bride with some tale, and I don’t want to interrupt, but Abby sees me and calls for me to come over.
“Hey,” I say with a smile. I walk over to them and shake Dylan’s hand. “Congratulations to the both of you.”
“Thanks, pal,” Dylan answers.
“You okay? Were you looking for Tania?” Abby asks.
“Yes, have you seen her?”
“Yeah, about fifteen minutes ago she was headed to the kitchen with my brother Tom,” Dylan answers.
“It’s that way,” Abby points over to the right of us.
“Thanks,” I reply.
“Is everything alright?” Abby asks, holding my gaze. I know Tania would have told Abby what happened to her. There’s no way that I’m going to allow her to worry over her today of all the days.
“Everything’s fine. I got this.” I nod and hope I do have it. Tania and I have been drinking. I’m at the stage where I know I’m not able to drive, and I purposely planned to get a taxi. She, however, got to this stage right from the first glass of wine. “You guys enjoy the rest of the day. You make a beautiful couple.”
“Thanks,” they both say in unison and glance at each other, laughing.
I leave them and head to the kitchen where I see that my fear has come to light.
Tania is with Tom indeed. It’s just the two of them, and he looks as wasted as she is.
He’s sitting on the kitchen stool, which is one of those old-fashioned wooden styles, and she’s sitting on the table with her breasts practically hanging out.
Her hair’s a mess like she’s been rolling around in a barn, and she has a bottle of rum in her hands.
“Have you seen Striptease?” she asks him, slurring.
“No,” he answers, but his eyes are on her breasts, as are mine.
“Want me to show you the main parts of the movie? I’ll just strip and you can pour the rum over me and lick it off.”
My mouth drops. My eyes might pop out too just from watching her run her hand over her breasts, squeezing them.
“Yes, you do that,” he answers. As if “no” would be his answer.
But it will be. I march over there and grab her.
“Hey, what the hell?” she winces.
“Yes, what the hell?” I ask her, then she looks at me and it’s like she just realizes it’s me.
“Oh, you. What do you want?” She shakes her head at me and tries to wiggle free of my grasp.
“What do you mean by? What are you doing?” I snap while Tom stares on at us in a drunken daze.
“I’m trying to get laid,” she answers. “Now leave me.”
“What? This is insane. You can’t just do that.”
“Hey pal, I’m not complaining,” Tom slurs. “If she wants to get laid, I’ll be very happy to do it. I’m going to be at sea for the next six months.”
“See, he wants me. I’m going to strip for him now. So you can go back to your women. Always with one or another. Leave me and go back,” Tania says, breaking free of me.
It’s like I’ve just stepped into some kind of weirdness amplified by her being upset with me. I can always tell when she is, and what she said was enough to show that I’m right.
She climbs back on the table, and Tom gets the biggest smile on his face. He grabs the rum, ready to pour it over her.
Bastard.
Like fuck am I just going to stand here and watch. I also really don’t want to get into a fight with Dylan’s brother.
I have an idea. I just hope my body is up to it.
I cast my mind back to the last game I played. It was a damn good one, and I was ruthless. Fearless and feared for the way I used to wipe the floor with some of those guys. The Hawks won that year after a two-year hiatus. They won when I launched myself into Bob Jakobe, lifted him up into the air, and moved him out of the way so Tevin Horwitz, the quarterback, could sprint to the winning touchdown. Put simply, I lifted a two hundred and fifty-pound jock into the air and ran with him as he was in midflight.
That was how I busted my leg. My last play. The momentum, adrenaline, and the power of two vicious players clashing together like titans busted my leg and my ass. Someone crashed into me and knocked me off balance. All of that rolled into one broke my leg in two places and caused some serious damage, signaling the end of my career.
I reckon Tania is featherlight in comparison to Bob. She should be a breeze; I just haven’t had to run with a person since that day.
On a count of two, I reach for Tania just as she’s about to pull the zipper down on her dress, and hoist her over my shoulder caveman style.
Tom didn’t know what the fuck was happening and by the time he realized it, I’d successfully exited the space and was running down the path to the garden, with her kicking and screaming.
I set her down when we get to a large boulder that’s been placed by the Willow tree for decoration. Ahead of us is the lake, but to the back of us is the parking lot.
“What is wrong with you?” she wails. “You can’t just do that.”
Because she starts thrashing and hitting me, I secure one arm around her tiny frame to hold her still.
“Tania, you’re
wasted.”
“So what? I don’t care. I want to be wasted. It’s okay for you to be wasted and sleep around while I sit back and watch you? You’re supposed to be my date tonight, but you couldn’t even hold off for today,” she rants.
I don’t bother to remind her I skipped out on Vegas to be with her. It seems pointless, and she’s a little right.
“What happened? Did you get bored and suddenly remember I exist?”
I reach for my phone and call a taxi. No point talking to her when she’s like this, and I’m not exactly that far off being wiped out myself. I want to sleep or…sit.
That run with her wore me out. I’m sure I would have done that better if I was a hundred percent.
Or, I might have had different ideas to get her away from Tom.
Nick
The taxi comes ten minutes later and picks us up. I have the driver take us to my place because it’s closer. I don’t think I could manage the trip to her apartment and then come back to mine.
The journey to my place is one from hell.
She won’t keep still and makes the taxi driver howl with laughter when she starts talking about the art of giving the perfect blow job.
Oh, and because she’s a doctor, she has to go in-depth about how to hit all the right spots to give the ultimate pleasure.
My skin must have turned every shade of red before it went back to normal. I’m relieved when we pull up to my place. She is just about to launch into a discussion of why she thinks the best sex is in water as opposed to the regular kind.
I all but haul her ass out of the car when we arrive. The car hasn’t even stopped properly before I am getting out with her.
I don’t know if I should be more mortified by the fact that she knows all that stuff or how many guys she must have done it with to know.
I feel like I’ve lived a hundred lives in the forty-minute journey.
I get her inside, set her down, and she heads over to my cabinet with my good drinks and grabs two bottles of wine.
“Tania…” I rush to her, and she shakes her head.
Nick Page 6