by Karen King
Well, it hadn’t worked. In fact, it had only proved how insensitive and uncaring Ted was and made her feel less inclined to go home.
She relayed the conversation back to Meg. ‘Well, I tried, but he’s not interested so let’s leave him to it and concentrate on making a nice Christmas for you and me. Rose has invited us around there if we want to go. Rory, Leo and Sam will be there too, and Rose’s parents. It would be lovely to see them again. Or I could get a small turkey crown and we can have dinner here, just the two of us. What do you fancy?’
‘I think I’d rather go to Rose’s, if that’s okay with you? It will make the day pass more quickly if we’re with company. If I stay here, I’ll be sad, thinking about Oliver, and all the things we usually do,’ Meg replied after a moment. ‘How about you?’
‘I agree. No point us both being stuck at home moping. Let’s make this Christmas as good as we can in the circumstances.’
29
Tuesday, 23 December
Meg
Meg read Oliver’s message over again, stunned.
I’ve been offered a job working up in Cheshire, with accommodation, so I’m taking it. I’m moving out on Saturday. I’ll be gone by midday. I’ll leave Laurel and Hardy here for you.
What job? Oliver hadn’t mentioned he’d been offered a job, so was this since they had split up? Or before and he hadn’t mentioned it because he wasn’t interested, but now they’d split up he wanted to get away? She calmed herself down. Perhaps he was going to mention it and didn’t get the chance because it had all kicked off about having a baby. She was sure he would have told her. They talked about everything, always made decisions together.
At least she’d thought they did. If Oliver could keep something as important as not wanting a child from her, who knew what else he hadn’t told her about? So much for being soulmates.
‘Are you okay, Meg?’ Mum asked, looking up from the Christmas cards she was writing.
‘Oliver’s moving away on Saturday. He’s got a job in Cheshire,’ Meg replied, her voice wobbling a little. She couldn’t believe that he was going so far away. Would she ever see him again?
‘That’s a bit sudden. Do you want to go home, talk to him before he goes?’ Sally got up and came over to her. ‘I know we’ve discussed this before but you mustn’t let him go if you think there is a chance you can sort this out, Meg.’
Meg thought about it then shook her head. ‘There’s no way we can mend this.’
Sally rested her hand on Meg’s shoulder. ‘I know you really want a family, but you and Oliver, you have something special. Do you want to lose him over this?’
‘He lied to me, Mum. For years! I can’t forgive him for that.’
‘People screw up sometimes, love. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. Maybe Oliver didn’t realise he didn’t want children until it was time to make that decision. And maybe he’ll change his mind in a year or two. You can’t always plan things.’
‘That’s just it, Mum. I can’t hang on a year or two.’
‘Look, I’ve got to be honest with you, darling. If you’re not with Oliver, surely there’s a chance you won’t have children anyway? Not unless you meet someone else right away. And I don’t see you getting over Oliver that quickly,’ Sally pointed out.
‘Exactly! That’s how much Oliver has messed up my life and why I don’t want to stay with him!’ Mum was infuriating sometimes. Why couldn’t she understand? Why couldn’t Oliver understand what a terrible thing he had done? And now he was going away, going to wipe her out of his life as if their marriage had never happened. Well, good, because maybe she didn’t want to see him again either.
She would be glad to see the bunnies again. It had been over a week now and she missed them so much, and they would be company and a comfort for her. She was dreading going home though. The house wouldn’t be the same without Oliver.
‘Will you keep the house, then? Maybe get someone in to rent a room and help with the mortgage?’ asked Mum.
Meg had been wondering the same thing. She wasn’t sure she would be able to keep living there; it held too many memories of them both. They’d chosen it together. Spent weekends sprucing it up, shopping for furniture, rugs, furnishings.
‘I don’t know. I wish I could move away, like Oliver. Make a fresh start. There’s so much to do.’ She bit her lip. ‘I guess I’ll have to see a solicitor about a divorce. It’s so messy.’
‘I know, love. I know,’ Sally said sadly.
Of course she did. She was going through the same thing.
‘I’m going back on Saturday, Mum. I can’t leave the rabbits on their own. Do you mind?’ She hated to leave her mum here by herself but she needed to get back, to start sorting out her life.
‘Of course not, love. You must do what’s best for you,’ Sally assured her.
Meg typed a message back to Oliver:
Thanks. Take what furniture you want with you for your new place. I’ll be back on Saturday afternoon and will arrange putting the house up for sale ASAP.
She’d heard horrible tales from her friends who’d split up, the fights over the house, the furniture, the pets, the children. How their exes had stripped the house of everything; one partner had even taken the fridge-freezer – leaving all the food defrosting on the worktop – the toilet seat, the light fittings. Helen would probably tell her she was mad to tell Oliver to take what he wanted, but she trusted him. And she knew he would trust her to sell the house as quickly as she could. She didn’t want to fight, to have a messy divorce. She wanted to get it over with then go away and lick her wounds.
30
Christmas Eve
Meg
Meg and Sally spent the next day getting last-minute Christmas shopping, some fun presents for each other for Christmas, and some chocolates and bath sets for Rose and her family. The shops were crowded, and by the time they got home it was almost time to go to the Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Meg put the presents in the bottom of the wardrobe, ready to wrap up later, her mind going to her presents for Oliver, wrapped and placed carefully under the tree, alongside his presents for her. And the stockings they’d both made up for Laurel and Hardy, containing bunny treats and toys. She loved helping the bunnies unwrap the presents and watching them play with the paper.
What will Oliver do for Christmas now? she wondered as she changed into skinny black jeans and a thick cream jumper. Would he cook himself a dinner? Go to a friend’s house? There was Josh, he always had a big party on Christmas Day – maybe Oliver would go there. Or maybe Alex and Natasha would ask him over. She didn’t like to think of him spending Christmas on his own.
Though he’ll be living on his own soon, miles away, she reminded herself. Cheshire was at least four hours’ drive from Exeter, where they currently lived. Oliver was certainly putting distance between them. Is that why he hadn’t told her about the job offer before – because he’d guessed she wouldn’t want to move that far away? She considered it. Would she? Their house was in the suburbs, easy commuting distance to the shops and only about half an hour’s drive from her parents’ house, which meant she could pop in a couple of times a week. Helen didn’t live far away, and neither did Josh, Alex and Natasha. Would she want to move so far away from everything and everyone she knew? Well, it didn’t matter now; she hadn’t been offered the chance. She wasn’t really surprised that Oliver had taken the job offer though; now both they and her parents had split up, he had no one he was close to.
She felt sorry for him, not to have the close family that she had. And even though her parents were about to divorce, she was sure she would still see plenty of them. Oliver had always said he didn’t mind – he had Meg and that was enough. She was his family.
She would probably never see Oliver again. Once the house was sold, that would be it. She sat down on the edge of her bed as the reality of it hit her. She would miss him so much. Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them back.
He’d asked her, ‘You
’re enough for me; why aren’t I enough for you?’
Was Mum right? Was she being hard on Oliver?
Her phone pinged as a message came in. She picked it up, wishing that she would stop hoping that it was Oliver. It was Natasha.
Are you ok, hun? I didn’t like to message before now because I know how hard things must be for you.
Natasha and Alex were good friends of both Meg and Oliver, and their first baby was due in a few weeks. Meg guessed that Helen had told them about her and Oliver breaking up and that Natasha had felt awkward when she’d heard the reason why, guilty that she was having a baby and that she and Alex would soon be the happy family that Meg wanted.
I’m fine, thanks. How are you and Bump? And Alex?
We’re good. I’m sorry about you and Oliver. We asked him over for Christmas but he said he wants to spend the day on his own because he’s got packing to do?
They exchanged texts for a while, Meg filling Natasha in on what she knew about Oliver’s new job, and Natasha obviously trying not to talk too much about her excitement over the new baby.
When they’d finally finished texting, Meg cast her thoughts back to Oliver spending Christmas alone. He’s got the bunnies, and friends if he wants to visit them, she reminded herself, trying hard to quieten the voice in her head telling her how much she wanted to be with him.
31
Sally
‘Okay, everyone, let’s start the countdown.’ Rory was standing in front of the crowd that had gathered around the tree. ‘Five…’
‘Four, three, two, one!’ everyone shouted together, then there was a loud cheer as the tree was ablaze with flashing coloured lights.
‘It looks so pretty!’ Meg exclaimed.
Sally looked at Meg’s animated face as she gazed at the Christmas tree. Meg had always loved Christmas, especially the lights. She was such a fun but gentle character, enjoying simple things such as family parties, putting up the Christmas tree, family camping holidays. Meg was all about family; she was the one everyone turned to when they needed help or advice. No wonder she so desperately wanted a family of her own. It was such a shame she and Oliver had split up and so cruel of Oliver to string Meg along for so many years, letting her believe that they would have a family together. She felt a flash of anger towards him. Though, she reasoned, she was sure that he hadn’t meant to hurt her, and that they had something that could be worth saving, if they weren’t both so stubborn. Everything was so black and white with them, Oliver insisting he didn’t ever want a child, and Meg refusing to consider a marriage without a family.
Meg turned to Sam and said something to him, and Sam laughed. Meg had really brought Sam out of himself; she’d be a wonderful mother. Leo looked around at Sam’s laugh, and he and Meg exchanged a smile. Sally watched them both, their eyes alight, their faces wreathed in smiles, then Meg turned back to the tree where a group of carol singers had now gathered. Is this the start of something between Meg and Leo? she wondered. They obviously had a connection. She didn’t think that Meg would get over Oliver quickly, but perhaps Leo could help her move on. Life carried on; no matter how in love people were, they found other partners. Look at Ted.
She’d tried not to think about Ted and Paula, to let her mind dwell on whether anything would happen between them when she was away, to ignore the little niggle about just how friendly they had been. Paula seemed to have jumped in so quickly with her offer of cooking Christmas dinner for Ted. It was almost as if she’d been waiting…
Don’t be silly. She’s being neighbourly so Ted won’t be on his own at Christmas.
He doesn’t have to be on his own. He could go to Dan and Katya’s.
Ted hated the chaos of Dan and Katya’s home, though. He liked peace and quiet, a nice dinner then snoozing in front of the TV. She was sure Paula would be happy to provide that, and sympathy. And, who knew? Maybe anything else Ted wanted.
You are the one who left him and you don’t want him back, she reminded herself. It’s a waste of time fretting that someone else is interested in him.
‘Good King Wenceslas looked out…’ the choir sang tunefully.
Meg, Leo and Sam joined in, singing at the top of their voices.
Sally pushed the niggling thoughts away and joined in the song too. It was Christmas Eve and she was going to make sure she enjoyed it.
They sang ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ next, then ‘Silent Night’ followed by more modern songs such as ‘Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree’. Meg was laughing, her eyes sparkling, her foot tapping.
‘Enjoying it?’ Sally turned to face Rory, who was now standing beside her, his eyes twinkling.
‘Very much.’ She nodded.
As the carol singers launched into the next song, ‘Jingle Bells’, Meg turned to her and mouthed ‘single all the way’, and Sally saw a glint of tears in her daughter’s eyes. A knot formed in her throat. She might no longer be in love with Ted but she hadn’t imagined herself as being single in her sixties.
‘Not easy, a break-up, is it?’ Rory asked softly.
Sally remembered that Rose had told her Rory had been married once but his wife had died.
‘Nope, but I’m going to make sure it wasn’t for nothing,’ she said determinedly. ‘I’m going to live my life how I want to now. I’m going to travel, experience new things, make the most of every day.’
‘That sounds a good plan to me; life’s too short to spend it moping.’ Rory’s eyes met hers. There was the usual twinkle in them, as if he was always suppressing laughter. Sally felt her heart stir a bit.
32
Oliver
Normally on Christmas Eve, Oliver and Meg would be getting last-minute Christmas presents. Meg enjoyed the hustle and bustle of Christmas Eve shopping, stopping for a hot chocolate and a mince pie, maybe popping into a carol service at the local church. She wasn’t particularly religious but had told him that she loved the spirit of Christmas, the hope and joy it brought. He guessed she’d be shopping now, and maybe she would even go to a carol service tonight.
He wished Meg was here, spending Christmas with him. That she’d be waking up with him tomorrow morning, opening the presents that he’d wrapped and placed under the tree. Her presents to him were under the tree too but he doubted if he would open them tomorrow. He didn’t want to celebrate Christmas; he simply wanted to get through it. For it to be over. He opened another can of beer and switched channels, hoping to find a film to watch.
It was an hour and two more cans of beer later when someone started hammering on the front door. For a heart-splitting moment, Oliver hoped it might be Meg, arms full of her suitcase and last-minute gifts so not able to get her key out of her handbag, come to tell him that she missed him, that she didn’t want to spend Christmas without him. Oliver hurried to the door and jerked it open, a gasp of disappointment and irritation escaping his lips when he saw his father standing there, a suitcase at his feet.
‘Hello, son.’
Oliver looked down at the case then up at his father’s face. ‘What are you doing here? And what’s with the case?’
‘I’ve got nowhere else to go,’ Markus announced. ‘You and your lass aren’t going to see me on the streets at Christmas, are you?’
Oliver fought down the urge to yell at him to go away. When all was said and done, this was his father, and no, he wasn’t going to see him on the streets. But he really didn’t want him here, not even for one night. ‘Why shouldn’t I? You never cared if me and Mum were on the streets,’ he said as Markus barged past him into the house.
‘I sent money when I could. Besides, I knew you’d be okay. Faye is strong and she wouldn’t have seen you go without.’ Markus placed his case in the hall and headed off into the lounge. Oliver closed the door and followed him, angry that his father thought he could just turn up whenever he liked.
‘She struggled to do it by herself – she was only eighteen when she had me, and no parents to fall back on. We often went without; many a night I went
to bed hungry. I know Mum did too.’
His dad turned, a self-pitying look on his face. ‘It was hard for me too, Olly. I was only nineteen myself, I wanted a life. I didn’t want to be tied down with a woman and a child.’ He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. ‘You’ll understand when you’re a dad yourself. It’s easy to judge but you don’t know what anyone’s going through until you’re in their shoes.’
‘Then I’ll never understand because, thanks to you, I’ll never be a father,’ Olly spat out. The venom in his own voice shook him. He hadn’t realised he held so much hate for his father. They were in the lounge now, facing each other.
‘What do you mean, thanks to me?’ His dad looked worried. ‘You aren’t infertile, are you? If you are, you can’t blame me for that. I’ve got you, and another couple of kids. There’s nothing wrong with me in that department.’
Another couple of kids? Oliver stared at his father in amazement. This was the first he’d heard that he had siblings! Brothers, sisters or one of each? he wondered but he didn’t ask. Instead he said, ‘If you’ve got other kids, why don’t you go to them for Christmas? You’ve probably seen more of them than you have of me.’
‘Because I don’t know where they are. Haven’t seen them for years.’ Markus looked at him questioningly. ‘So, go on, why’s it my fault you can’t have kids?’
‘Not can’t – won’t.’ Oliver glared at his dad. ‘And I won’t because I don’t want to be a terrible father to my kids like you’ve been to me – and my… half-siblings, by the sound of it. I wouldn’t bring a child into this world and make them feel worthless, stand by and watch them go without, like you’ve done.’