Resisting Love

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Resisting Love Page 3

by Kat Bellemore


  She turned and sat in a rocker strategically placed on the wraparound porch, unsure what to do. The bed and breakfast sat on a small hill and overlooked the town, with the ocean just beyond. It was the most idyllic place one could imagine spending a vacation, and it was her parents’ legacy.

  They’d opened the bed and breakfast fifteen years earlier, and it had been featured in at least five prominent travel magazines. Her parents acted like it wasn’t a big deal, tried to stay humble about it, but it was difficult when everyone raved about how amazing it was. And they had every right to be proud of what they’d built up.

  Leanne glanced at the front door. It wasn’t that she didn’t think her family would be happy to see her—her parents would be, whether her bedroom was now occupied by a stranger or not.

  It was her sister, Jules, that she was worried about. They hadn’t spoken since Leanne had left for LA. She could pretend that it had all been on Jules’s end, but it had been both of them. And the words that had been exchanged the night before Leanne had left—they hadn’t been kind.

  The memory helped Leanne make up her mind. It would be better to leave and return later, once her family had had some forewarning. But then a small boy came barreling through the screen door.

  “Bobby, get back here,” a woman called from inside.

  Bobby didn’t pay his mother any mind, though, and kept running. Leanne smiled as she watched the boy run around the side of the house, probably straight to the children’s garden her mother had created. A small creek ran through it, perfect for children to wade in when their parents weren’t keen on making the trek down to the beach.

  A woman burst through the door after him. She started when she saw Leanne sitting in the rocker and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was out here.”

  “No worries,” Leanne said, returning the woman’s smile. “Bobby ran around back.”

  The woman released a soft groan. “I figured.” As she hurried off in the direction her son had gone, Leanne could hear the woman still mumbling to herself. “If that boy jumps in with his shoes on one more time… The leather will never look the same after this weekend.”

  Leanne stood from the rocker and laughed. She hadn’t been back in town more than a few minutes, but she suddenly felt like she had never left. Everything was the same, and even though the tourists’ faces were different, it all had a familiar feeling about it.

  She couldn’t believe she’d allowed herself to stay away so long.

  A voice drifted toward her from inside, one that reminded her of fresh-baked bread and sunflowers, and it rooted Leanne to the porch. “I’m just going to run a towel outside for the little boy,” her mother told someone. “I’m sure he’ll be soaked through by the time his mother catches up with him.”

  The screen door opened for a third time, and Leanne’s mother bustled through. When she saw Leanne, though, she nearly jumped from the porch, the towel flying from her hands. “Lenny,” she cried out, and then wrapped her daughter in a tight hug. “Did you tell me you were coming?” She didn’t relax her grip, but instead hugged Leanne even tighter. “No, even in my old and senile state, I would have remembered.” Her mom twisted and yelled toward the house, “Harold, get out here! You’ll never guess who decided to pay us a visit.”

  Leanne laughed and hugged her mom back, glad that she had kept her return a surprise after all. This was totally like the movies. “No, Mom, I didn’t tell you I was coming.”

  That earned a swat on the arm from her mom as she pulled away. “Well, why on earth not? I would have had people over, and a big dinner and—”

  Yes, definitely a good thing she hadn’t told her family.

  “Because then it wouldn’t have been a surprise. So…surprise!” She held her arms out wide, grinning. “I’m moving back home.”

  Her mom’s mouth dropped, and her smile with it. “This isn’t just a visit? You’re back for good?”

  Leanne’s own smile wavered. Okay, maybe not quite like the movies. That should have set off another round of shrieks and hugs.

  “Yes?”

  “What happened?” her mom demanded. “Doesn’t that no-good screenwriter know talent when it’s knocking him upside the head?”

  Leanne released a sigh of relief. Her mom wasn’t disappointed that Leanne was back—just that she had come back a failure. “I chose to come back. Trust me, Frederick was not happy about that decision. In fact, he had some very choice words to say about it.”

  Her mom’s smile didn’t return, her features etched with concern. “You gave up your dream?”

  And now it was uncomfortable.

  “I didn’t give it up. It’s just not what I thought it would be. And I missed home.”

  That brought her mom’s smile back. “That’s all you had to say. We’ve missed you too.” Leanne’s mom brought her in for another tight hug. “All of us have missed you.”

  Leanne didn’t miss the implication. “Is she here?”

  Her mom pulled back, her brows drawn in obvious confusion. “Who?”

  “Jules. My sister? The one who yelled at me the night before I left and told me not to bother coming back? The one who hasn’t spoken to me for the past two years?” She’d thought it had been obvious.

  Her mom laughed and waved a hand. “Oh, no, she picked up a part-time job waitressing at Mitch’s place. She helps me prepare rooms in the morning, then heads over there in the afternoons.” She paused. “Jules has had time to cool down, and she’s mentioned that the place seems emptier without you. But that wasn’t who I was talking about.”

  Leanne’s stomach dropped. There was only one person her mother could be referring to.

  The one person in town she was terrified to see.

  If Leanne hadn’t stopped taking his phone calls, maybe Isaac would have been the first person she visited, even before her own mother. That was what love did to people.

  But now?

  “You should go talk to him. Before the rest of the town meddles in things.”

  “I…don’t know how.” Leanne knew she sounded pathetic, but she didn’t know what else to say. She and Isaac had been in love since they were kids. They had been planning to get married. But then Leanne got the apprenticeship—she had never thought the great Frederick Berkheiser would choose her screenplay. But when he did, it wasn’t an opportunity that any sane person would pass up. And besides, it was only supposed to be for the summer.

  Until it wasn’t.

  “You know where he’ll be,” her mom said.

  “He’s still lifeguarding?” Even as she asked the question, she knew he was. Leanne had dreams of becoming a successful screenwriter, but Isaac was content where he was. He had always said that as long as he had Leanne and the ocean, he was happy.

  Her mom held out a hand and nodded to Leanne’s suitcase that sat at the edge of the porch. “I’ll take it up to your room so you can get going. And if you’re not back by ten, I won’t wait up.” She dared to give Leanne a suggestive wink, causing Leanne’s insides to curl in on themselves.

  This was a tough choice. Go down to the beach and tell her boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—Surprise, I’m back in town! Sorry I got caught up in the Hollywood scene and didn’t talk to you for the last eighteen months. Or she could stay and listen to her mom complain all evening about how Leanne needed to go talk to that poor boy.

  Wailing erupted from the back of the house, and Leanne had never been more grateful for an interruption. Bobby’s mother appeared at the bottom of the porch, the small boy flailing in her arms, and her clothes just as soaked as his.

  “Oh my goodness, let me help you,” Leanne’s mother said, grabbing the towel from where it had dropped on the porch. “Give me one moment and I’ll grab another.” She tucked the one she held around Bobby and then followed his mother inside the house.

  Leanne’s breath released in a quick whoosh. Crisis averted.

  The screen door opened, and her mom poked her head outs
ide. “Don’t think I forgot about you. Leave the suitcase and go talk to that poor boy. He’s waited two years, and that’s quite long enough.”

  Never mind.

  Leanne resigned herself to what she must do—what she’d always known she needed to do—and walked down the steps.

  Why was this so difficult? Leanne loved Isaac. Always had, since the time she’d tripped on the playground at school, landing hard on her knees, and he’d run over and helped her up. Isaac had led her over to a bench and made her sit down so he could rub leaves over her scraped knees. He’d apparently watched a documentary with his parents about natural remedies and was confident the leaves held the healing power she needed. They hadn’t helped; in fact, they had made her knees hurt much worse. But she hadn’t told him that, not wanting to hurt his feelings. She’d grimaced and clenched her teeth as he’d “helped” her, and they had been best friends from that point onward. And then more than friends. And then much more than friends.

  When Leanne had first moved to LA for the summer, she’d often questioned if she’d made the right decision. She had talked with Isaac on the phone every evening before going to bed. As the summer progressed, more had been demanded of her, and the phone calls occurred a couple of times a week. Then a couple of times a month. Until she was so immersed with her writing projects and the events that Frederick had insisted were vital for her success that she’d see she had a missed call or text from Isaac, and she’d completely forget to respond or call back.

  And then eighteen months had passed. And here she was.

  Afraid.

  And guilt-ridden for what she’d done. For what she’d put him through—what she’d put them both through. And all for a pipe dream.

  Had Isaac moved on?

  Probably not, or her mother wouldn’t have pushed her out the door like that.

  Hope sprang in her chest. Maybe they could start again where they had left off. Surfing at dawn, watching the sunset with the rest of the town in the evenings, and sneaking kisses whenever they could.

  Leanne jumped in her car, suddenly wanting nothing more than to feel Isaac’s arms around her, welcoming her home. It was only about a minute drive down to the boardwalk, where she parked, and she felt silly for driving, and even sillier when she realized she still wore the red high heels that Frederick had said were a must-have.

  Too late now. Once she reached the sand, she slipped them off and hung them over one finger as she continued barefoot.

  Leanne squinted against the sun, searching for the lifeguard station, and the familiar man who would be sitting in it. It didn’t take long for her gaze to land on his dark hair, peeking out from over his chair. Her heart stuttered. It took everything in her to keep walking, keep moving, to where he sat. But however this turned out, she knew her mom had been right. It would be better for him to learn of her arrival this way than from Jessie or Erwin or one of the other town gossips. Which pretty much included everyone.

  But even when Leanne had walked up close, right next to the side of the lifeguard station, Isaac still hadn’t noticed her. His gaze scanned the ocean, though no one was swimming. She wondered what he was looking for.

  “Things haven’t changed much around Starlight, have they?” she asked.

  Isaac started, so she knew he had heard her, but he didn’t turn. His hands were curled around the sides of his chair, though, clenching it. After a moment of silence, she decided to try again.

  “I’m back. For good. I can’t believe I stayed away from the ocean so long.” She tried to keep her voice from shaking and her tone upbeat and happy.

  Isaac shifted position, his gaze still fixed firmly on the horizon. “I couldn’t believe it either. You said you’d be gone for three months. It was a summer apprenticeship.”

  Leanne didn’t know how to respond. She’d hoped they could skip the unpleasant truths and instead focus on the fact that she was back. They could move on with their lives—the ones they’d always imagined, where they would get married and have a family, raising tiny little surfers, and she and Isaac would grow old together and live in Starlight Ridge forever.

  The life they’d planned before she’d left. And hadn’t come back.

  The guilt she’d felt earlier returned with a vengeance. Leanne knew Isaac had every right to be angry with her. And she deserved everything she got.

  Isaac didn’t say anything more, and still didn’t turn to look at her.

  “I’m sorry. I know I messed up, and if you’ll just tell me what to do to make things right, I’ll do it.” She paused, wishing she could see his boyish smile once more. This stony man in front of her wasn’t someone she knew—he wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with. The Isaac she knew threw caution in the wind, climbing water towers as a boy because he thought it would impress her, or tackling the biggest wave to prove to her he wasn’t afraid. In all honesty, she’d always been furious at him for pulling stupid stunts like that, but it was part of who he was—loving life and everything that came with it. Nothing could get that man down.

  Except, something had. He was no longer wearing his goofy grin. He seemed introspective and melancholy. And Leanne had a feeling it had everything to do with her.

  In a desperate attempt to soften his anger—to get him to even acknowledge her—she said, “To be fair, when I told you it would take longer than I expected, you said you’d wait as long as it took.”

  Isaac barked out a humorless laugh, and he finally shifted so he could look down at her. His eyes were devoid of the light that used to be there, and his gaze lingered on the high heels that hung around her fingers. She desperately wished she’d remembered to trade them for her flip-flops before venturing down to the beach. The Leanne he knew would never wear high heels for anything or anyone.

  “As you can see, I waited. I’m still sitting in the same exact spot as when you left.” He shook his head and settled back into his chair. “You stopped calling, didn’t return my texts. I didn’t know if you were ever coming back—wondered why I was still here when I didn’t have anyone left to stay for.”

  That was fair. All of it. Leanne, herself, hadn’t known if she was ever coming back. She had always felt like she was right on the edge of catching her big break. She had talked herself up to enough producers and actors, passed around enough scripts, that she’d known any day one of them was going to call her up and tell her that they’d read her work and loved it. Her story would feature A-list actors, the best talent in the industry.

  That moment had been just around the corner, for months. Leanne now wondered if it had all been a mirage—always shimmering in front of her but never holding any substance.

  Her voice was soft when she said, “And yet you’re still here.”

  Isaac released a long sigh. “Yes. I’m still here.”

  And then he fell silent.

  4

  Isaac sat silently, aware of every breath Leanne took but pretending not to be. Having nothing more to say, he waited until she eventually left. He supposed she didn’t either, considering she didn’t wait around too much longer before leaving.

  That was not how he’d imagined their reunion going. So many times, he’d imagined them running across the sand toward each other, like in the movies, and he’d sweep her up in his arms. They might even tumble to the ground, kissing passionately as the waves washed over them.

  But what had just happened?

  That was the opposite of passionate kisses in the ocean. It was…burned toast that had been tossed into the ocean. And then eaten by a shark, only to be spit back out again. And then eaten by a child, who found it after it had washed up on the sand. A gross, soggy version of what it had once been.

  It had been that bad.

  Isaac knew it was his fault that their reunion had self-imploded. His muscles, and his heart, had frozen up. All of a sudden, everything he had thought didn’t matter were the only things that did. And he couldn’t just let them go. Isaac desperately wanted to, but Leanne’s sudden pre
sence had unleashed every moment he’d felt fear, and anger, and resentment toward her.

  Yes, she’d come back. But she’d also been the one to leave Starlight Ridge in the first place. Leanne had left him, because Hollywood had been able to offer her everything that he couldn’t.

  Isaac nodded, satisfied that he’d been in the right and Leanne had been in the wrong. She deserved the silent treatment. It had been her who had stopped talking to him eighteen months ago, after all. Not that he’d been keeping track. Or waiting for the day when he’d hear her voice again.

  Funny how he’d thought it would affect him differently than it had. The voice that had once filled him with warmth and longing now made him feel lonelier than ever.

  Isaac glanced at his phone, hoping his shift was nearly over. He had a new text from Caleb.

  Stuck in the shop. Bree will be the one to bring dinner.

  Right. It was Tuesday night, one of the few evenings he got to eat decent food. At least something was still right in the world.

  It was only another minute later when he saw Eliza walking toward him, ready to take over his shift. He climbed down the ladder just as she strode up.

  “Hey,” she said as she pulled her blond hair up into a high ponytail. Her expression was wary, which told Isaac right away that she knew who was back in town. To her credit, though, she didn’t ask. She instead pulled out the safest and most boring topic there was. “Looks like there isn’t much action around here. Guess that means I can work on my tan.” She smiled, but it too was cautious.

  “Yup,” he said. Isaac started to walk away, but Eliza just couldn’t help herself.

  “I swear I just saw Leanne walking across the beach,” she blurted out. She immediately looked like she wanted to take it back, but the harm had been done, so she followed it up with a hesitant, “Was that really her? Because if it was…she isn’t wanting her old job back, is she?”

 

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