by K. C. Cross
I glance down at her list. “Fucking hell, Pie. You paid two hundred dollars for underwear?”
When I look up at her, she’s no longer shielding her eyes since my exceptionally large package is now mostly hidden by the table. “It’s lingerie, not just underwear. And…” She sighs. “Well, if I had known you would be invading my shopping privacy, I’d have used my own money.” She bites her lip. And I know this is a lie. The lip-biting thing is one of her tells.
“It’s magic. The entire curse is all based on magic. It doesn’t need explanation.”
“Well, that’s dumb. Everything is explainable. Including this stupid book. Someone is controlling it. Who is it?”
“Obviously, it is the gods.”
“What gods?” She shrugs with her hands. “Like, fricking Jesus Christ has time to keep an annotated list of my shopping habits?”
“Not Jesus Christ. For fuck’s sake, Pie. The old gods.”
“Specifically?” she asks.
“Specifically, Saturn, for sure.” I sigh. I don’t like thinking about him. “Juno. Mars. Jupiter. The whole lot of them, I guess.”
She squints her eyes. “Old Roman gods, then.”
“What other gods are there?”
“You tell me. You seem to be on a first-name basis with them.”
“I just did. And this is beside the point. The point is, you have a debt.”
She flips the page back without even asking for permission, and this girl’s brazenness is really getting on my nerves. “What’s this?” She taps the page with Grant’s name on it.
“That is Grant’s page.”
“It’s empty.”
“You’re very observant.”
“Why is it empty? Didn’t he spend money?”
“Oh, hell yes, he did,” Tomas says, coming up next to us. “And he never worked any of it off.”
“Well, good. I won’t either.”
“He paid for it,” I say.
“In years,” Tomas adds.
“Did you see him leave here?”
She makes a face at this question. “Kind of. I was peeking out the window of the cottage.”
“And what did he look like?” Tomas asks.
Pie sighs. “He was young on this side of the gate and very old on the other.”
“There you go. That’s what happens when you break free of the curse with debt left behind. It steals your life.”
“OK. Hold on.” She blinks up at me. “If I work off the debt, then when I leave here, no matter how long I stay, I will be young still?”
“Correct,” I say.
“Hmm.”
“Still wanna be difficult?”
“I’m thinking. I’m considering my options.”
“You don’t have many,” Tomas rightly points out. “You either work the debt off by taking care of Pell here, or you don’t and leave this place the way Grant did.”
“But if you stay here longer than your natural lifetime, you will just die the moment you take the ring off and walk through the gates if you still have debt.”
“And,” Tomas adds, “it’s just better to keep up with it, Pie. Don’t be like Grant. By the time he wanted to clear his debt, it was way too late. He would’ve had to give Pell here blowjobs twenty-four seven for ten years to clear that debt.”
“What?” She looks at me, then down, then hurriedly looks back up and shields her eyes. “Blowjobs?”
I shoot Tomas a would-you-please-shut-the-fuck-up-now look and he quickly corrects himself. “I’m just messing with you,” Tomas says.
Pie looks around, frowning, not really seeing the steam cave. Her wandering gaze is more of a demarcation, a clear line drawn in the air that separates her old life and her new one into two very different camps.
Finally, she turns back to me. “Hopefully the blowjob thing really was a joke. Because I’m not doing that. So what do you want me to do?”
“Look.” I flip the pages in the book until I get to the beginning. “Here are all the tasks you can complete to make me happy. Each one comes with a payment. When you earn the payment, you erase part of your debt.”
She turns the book towards her and starts to read.
I expect her to comment. I expect her to stomp her feet, and throw a tantrum, and walk out insisting that she will never do these things.
But she stays quiet.
She might even… wilt a little.
“Pie?” Tomas asks. “Are you OK?”
She sucks in a deep breath and on the exhale she says, “Do I look OK?” She points her gaze at him now. “I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted a job, and a home, and a life that didn’t involve begging to sleep on Jacqueline’s couch and taking care of her kids in Toledo. I have never asked for much. And fine, I went a little overboard in town today.” She looks at me now. “But I did need the tires. And OK, I didn’t need the lingerie, but I’ve never owned stuff like that. I’ve never had the means to walk into a grocery store and buy steaks. And I did get them for you. I didn’t know what you eat.”
She’s almost pleading with me. Like if she could just win me over, I might delete her curse and her debt. But none of this is up to me.
“I didn’t know. So I guessed…” She trails off and never picks up her train of thought.
Tomas and I stare at each other with what-do-we-do-now looks. He shrugs. “I do like steaks,” I offer. Because I haven’t seen this side to her yet and it’s making me uncomfortable. An hour ago, she was a fierce, determined fighter and now she’s… vulnerable.
“Look,” Tomas says, “we don’t need to do any of this today, right, Pell?”
I shrug. “Whatever. It’s not like we’re on a deadline.”
“Great. So why don’t you go take a bath or something, Pie? Change out of that outfit. Which is completely adorable, by the way. But you’ve been wearing it for days now.”
At the mention of her clothes, Pie looks down at herself and frowns even deeper.
“And you have new clothes now,” I add. “So. That’s… nice.”
She doesn’t even look up at me. Just continues staring down at herself. “There’s no hot water in the cottage. I can’t take a bath.”
“There is so,” Tomas says. “Come on.” He takes her hand. “I’ll show you how it works.”
And then he leads her out of the steam cave.
They leave me like that.
Like they are together and I am no one.
Just like always.
But I follow them. At least until I get to the cemetery.
Then I veer off and head back to my tomb where I belong.
CHAPTER TEN - PIE
It was stupid of me, really. To think that I might fall into some good luck. That’s just not how my life works. I never get anything good. Everything that comes my way is terrible. Sometimes, it’s borderline evil.
Like this. Being cursed with a monster. This is what I would consider borderline evil.
I’m sitting on the bed listening to Tomas mess with some water heater thing downstairs. You have to feed it wood. And he says it takes a while to get enough hot water for a bath, but it’s worth it.
So he tells me.
I’m not arguing. I do need a bath. I didn’t even notice how bad I smell and how my cute, completely-appropriate-for-Halloween schoolgirl costume now looks more like a three-day-bender, I-have-no-other-clothes outfit.
Tomas comes up the steps and walks into the room smiling. Then he frowns. “I thought you were gonna put your new clothes away?”
We both look at the piles of bags filled with new clothes. Then back at each other. I sigh and shrug. “It’s not as fun now that I know it was a high price to pay. I would be better off getting a waitressing job in town to pay for what we need instead of using the free money.”
“Can you do that?”
I perk up a little because he didn’t immediately tell me it’s against the rules. “I don’t know. Can’t I? I mean… if I came home every night it wouldn’t be breaki
ng the rules, right? And then I wouldn’t have to go into debt and I could pay for all our food and stuff.”
Tomas sits down next to me. He’s been really nice to me today. “I don’t think Pell would like that though.”
“No,” I say, feeling utterly defeated. “I suppose he wouldn’t.”
“But you could ask him. No one has ever come up with that idea before. It’s a good one. It saves you, at least.”
“But not him, right? I’m here to please him, and work for him, and break his curse.”
“It’s your curse too.”
“Yeah.” I don’t need reminding.
“Come on.” He stands up. “I’ll help you put your new stuff away. Then you can take a bath and settle in, and I’ll even make dinner tonight.”
“Fuck. I forgot about dinner.”
“I said I’d make it. You just relax.”
I look up at him and man, this guy just gets better-looking by the second. He’s still got the same roaring hot body. But he’s a good guy too. And that’s not usually how the hot ones come. “Thanks, Tomas. I really mean it. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here to help me today.”
“Believe it or not, Pell is a pretty good guy.”
“Guy?” I make a face. “He’s got horns, Tomas. And hooves. He’s half-goat or something.”
“He’s actually half-minotaur.” Then he pauses, like he wants to say something. But the pause goes on too long and even though he keeps talking, I just know that what comes out next wasn’t what he was thinking about. “My point is, even if I wasn’t here, you’d be OK. He’s not that bad.”
I shoot Tomas a look. “Did you see the list in that book?” He winces. “I’m not an idiot. I know what ‘fellatio’ means.”
“No slave caretaker has ever—and I do mean ever—given Pell a fucking blowjob to pay a debt.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Did they do it to not pay a debt?”
“The point is, he’s not gonna make you do any of it. Except for the foot wash and the horn polishing. He does like that shit. Especially the horns. So if you need to pay a debt off, you can’t go wrong with the feet and the horns.”
“Hoof washing.” I sigh.
“It pays well. It’s a win-win.”
“Whatever. I don’t want to think about any of it right now. I feel so… worthless. Like my life has no value at all. I’m just some thing to be used and discarded.”
“That’s not even true. You’re worth a lot.”
“What do you mean? The magic book is trying to steal everything from me. I didn’t agree to anything, I’m not getting paid to do this job, and nothing is free. Not even room and board like the flyer promised.”
“That’s not really true. Your parents are getting paid.”
I blink at him. Then snarl, “What?”
“Yeah. I mean, not directly. It’s just… good luck. They’ll wake up tomorrow and something good will come their way. Something fabulous. They win the lottery, they get left money in a will by some long-lost relative, their house is suddenly paid off.”
I put up a hand. “Hold the fuck on. My mother is getting paid? Like… I was literally sold into slavery?”
“It’s luck—”
“Fuck your luck! The woman who abandoned me with child protective services when I was nine because I refused to say that my Pia was imaginary—that bitch is gonna get paid with good-luck tokens while I’m stuck here being a monster’s slave?”
“Um. Wow. I’m sorry she did that shit to you.”
“And that reminds me. Where is Pia? This is not funny anymore.” I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. “I want my friend back.”
Tomas puts his hand on my shoulder. “Pie. Please, just don’t think about any of it right now. We’ll all work it out tomorrow. Maybe getting a job is a good idea. I’ll tell Pell that it is, OK?”
I sniffle. “You will?”
He nods. “Just… don’t cry. And relax a little. It’s gonna work out, I promise.”
He doesn’t wait for me to answer, just gets up and starts pulling my things out of bags. I watch him. Let him put it all away anywhere he wants. And he does all that in silence.
Finally, he proclaims the tub ready for me and then excuses himself to go make dinner and check on Pell.
The hot water does feel wonderful and when I sink all the way up to my shoulders, I let out a long breath of relief. Nothing is better. I’m not sure anything will ever be better again. But… Tomas was right. The bath was a good idea. It helps.
There are some bottles of stuff. Shampoo, I guess. And some bars of soap. And when I wash my hair with it, it’s surprisingly soft afterward. Maybe it’s magic shampoo? That would be a small perk.
I soak in the tub for a long time, just thinking about my new life. How none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped at that gas station to pee and wash my face.
I would still have Pia. I would be on my way to Toledo. I would still be me. And I would be free.
I don’t even know how to make sense of this new life.
Tomas is nice. I like him a lot. And he’s fun to look at. His wild, dark hair falls just to his shoulders, and it’s thick. His eyes are dark too, like maybe he’s Italian. If so, that makes sense because I’m pretty sure they come from ancient Rome. I wonder what it was like back then? I try to imagine living though all those two thousand years. All the changes. All the new inventions. Especially in the last century. Rovers on Mars, and self-driving cars, and cell phones.
I do have to admit, Pell could drive the Jeep. He didn’t lean on the clutch or stall out or anything. He’s been driving cars for a hundred years. That’s what he said.
He’s actually not that scary now that I’ve known him for two days. It’s rather easy to unsee his monster parts. Except that dick of his. Holy hell. It’s huge. And he has no shame about it dangling around all over the place. But he did put on pants for a few hours for my benefit.
I smile about that part. I was kinda bossy earlier. Before I realized I truly am a slave.
He’s got nice eyes. They’re yellow, and totally unnatural. But that just makes them interesting. And his hooves are really pretty. Those black and cream striations are unique.
And the horns. God, the horns. They aren’t like a ram’s, that’s for sure. They’re not circular that way. They are long, and don’t grow upward, but downward and to the back. They have a little corkscrew twist in them too.
Now, that cemetery? I don’t know what to make of that. I should probably just stay away from it, like Pell said. The cathedral though. Now that place is going to be a trip to figure out. I haven’t been up those other staircases yet. It could be cool to explore.
The apothecary, on the other hand, won’t be fun at all. There were so many jars. So many books. Too many potions and spells to think about. I’m never going to be able to break this curse, that’s for sure.
The cathedral kitchen was massive. And when Tomas showed me Grant’s magic recipe book and how to make the food prepare itself—well, that might’ve been the best part of my day.
I really did feel like I was doing magic, even if none of those spells were mine.
But Pell said no more. Now I have to prepare food here.
Then I remember Sheriff Russ Roth and sink a little further down into the tub. Now he was nice. He was the absolute best part of my day. And I am going on that date tomorrow night. Pell is mistaken if he thinks he can control my social life. If I have to be stuck here in this curse with him, the least he can do is let me have a little fun.
And I’m going to insist on that job.
There was a ‘help wanted’ sign in the Honey Bean window. I bet the sheriff could even put in a good word for me and then I’d be a shoo-in.
I could make it work. That’s the point of all this thinking.
If I have a plan, I can make it work.
Eventually I have to get out and face my new world again. I do this reluctantly, not even sure if I should go downstairs.
I can hear Tomas in the kitchen and if it wasn’t for the smell of grilling steaks, I might skip dinner. But it’s been a long day, and I was too consumed with the hot sheriff and my sudden influx of fake money to eat much at lunch, so I’m actually starving.
I put on a pair of soft sweatpants I got from the lingerie store, and a t-shirt, and I suddenly feel a thousand times better than I did an hour ago.
That schoolgirl costume needs to be burned. Three days I was wearing that stuff.
Crazy. Because I had actually forgotten I was wearing a costume.
Anyway, when I go downstairs Tomas is just buttering some of the fresh rolls I bought from the bakery today.
“This all smells delicious,” I say, walking over to the table and taking in the spread. There’s salad, and wine—I hit that liquor store pretty hard—and the steaks. “You’re a great cook, Tomas. Maybe you should be in charge of feeding the beast? Speaking of him, where is Pell?”
“Sit,” Tomas says, placing a roll on my plate. “He’s in his tomb, I think. I went looking for him, but…” Tomas shrugs. “He’s not around, so I’m assuming he has retired.”
“Can’t you go knock on the door?”
“The tombs don’t have doors.”
“Of course they do. They are creepy black holes that have a menacing vibe to them, but they all have doors.”
Tomas just stares at me for a moment. “You can see the tomb doors?”
“Of course, can’t you?”
“Hmm.” He shakes his head. “No. I’ve never been in one. But the way Pell talks about his, it’s like another world in there.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like… you know when you’re outside the cathedral and it’s just a simple old building? But when you go inside and see all those staircases and high ceilings, it’s huge, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve noticed that.”
“I think that’s how the tombs are. Really small on the outside, but inside they are like a whole other world.”
“Literally another world?”
“You’d have to ask Pell. Before you came, he and I weren’t exactly friends.”
“No? He seems to like you.”
“I guess. But really, losing Grant was a shock to us. I mean, we’ve always known it could happen. It just almost never does. So when you showed up, it was unexpected. We’re still adjusting.”