Finding Lily

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Finding Lily Page 30

by Emma Shade


  Then there’s Ashton, who glanced over and locked his eyes with mine. My heart and soul revolved around his existence like a moth to a flame. He honestly loved me and planned on spending forever together. Ashton never gave up what we could have, and pushed through every obstacle in his way to win me over. Blake included. Ashton, although jaded like me, was the one that I gave in to after it was all said and done. He was the one that always had my heart in the palm of his hands. I just never realized it until recently.

  Neither man was perfect. Each had their secrets and lies that hurt me in the long run. But, I wasn’t perfect either. Nobody sitting at this table was. Not even Sam.

  What I had to figure out was if I loved Ashton enough to spend an eternity with him. In all honestly, I was pretty sure I wanted that from the beginning with Ashton, just not accepting it myself for fear of breaking Blake’s heart. I was going to miss Blake like crazy, but at the same time, he knew the choice he made when he reestablished his position.

  Sam leaned over, and whispered, “Horses, Lily. Horses.”

  I flinched and slammed my psyche down tighter than a high security prison, and replied with a soft voice, “Sam, get out of my head.”

  He chuckled, and winked. “It’s just so easy with you.”

  I shook my head with a smile, because there was no way I’d be mad at Sam.

  Ashton’s eyebrow rose in question, and I shrugged. It wasn’t any of Ashton’s concern. Or maybe it was. Hell, up until recently, I hadn’t known my own feelings regarding the two men in my life.

  My eyes swerved to Blake as he conversed with Wade and Alistair. Tears misted along my bottom lashes. He announced he was leaving within a few hours once we sat. It was going to tear my heart in two, losing him this way. But I knew it was for the best, and to allow my heart to heal and move on with my life with Ashton. Better to just get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Only this Band-Aid was going to hurt like hell, tearing a piece of my heart off with it.

  Paige, on the other hand, paced the length of the room and mumbled curses under her breath.

  Removing myself from the table, I stopped in front of her and caught her attention. She grunted, “What?”

  “Paige, what are we going to do about Carlotta?” I asked, scanning the table where the men talked.

  “I’m going to find her,” she announced with a shrug.

  “Well, then I’m going to. I just have to pack,” I said, and started to walk away, but Paige grabbed my arm.

  “No, Lily. You need to stay here and keep away from the drama for once.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, sure. Like that’s going to happen.”

  Paige sighed. “You just want to run again. Any excuse so you don’t have to say goodbye to Blake. I know you too well, remember? Sorry, but you’re staying put.”

  “You can’t go by yourself, Paige.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m going to ask Sam or Alistair to go with me.”

  Sam wasn’t going to leave my side for a second. So that left her only option as Alistair. My mouth curved into a shit eating grin.

  “Wipe that smile off your face, Lily. Before I wipe it off for you,” she hissed, narrowing her eyes.

  I tried, I really had. But I just knew what was going to happen. “When do you leave?”

  “As soon as possible. I just have to tear Sam and Alistair away to ask,” Paige replied with a shrug.

  “Good luck with that, Paige,” I chuckled.

  “I don’t need luck. I have bravado and a sparkling personality.”

  I laughed as she walked away to interrupt their little impromptu meeting. The last thing Paige had was a sparkling personality.

  *****

  We all showered the blood from our bodies in Ashton’s apartment, no longer resembling serial killers after a murdering spree. I felt refreshed and melancholy at the same time after my shower.

  Paige, to her chagrin, figured out that between Sam and Alistair, she was headed out to find Carlotta with Alistair. She assured me that she’d search the ends of the earth to bring our friend home. And call me as soon as Carlotta was found. They both said their quick goodbye’s and left in a hurricane of foul words tossed at each other.

  Sam wasn’t going anywhere and wanted to stay close by my side. Plus, even though he didn’t admit it, he longed to stick around to say goodbye to Blake.

  Before I knew it, the time came for Blake to head back to the royal estate. No matter how much we all begged him for the location, his lips stayed sealed. Maybe because he knew Sam and I would show up unannounced.

  Blake hugged Ashton, a manly hug that had several pats on the back. He said, “I know we haven’t agreed on a lot of things over the years. But take care of Lily, okay? She deserves some happiness in her life.”

  I gulped back the lump in my throat. My heart thudded in my chest as I fought back tears. I hadn’t wanted to say goodbye. Not only was I losing our intense connection, but I was losing a really good friend as well.

  Next was Sam. Poor Sam barely held it together as Blake pulled him in for a bear hug. Clearing his throat, Sam choked out, “I will miss you, my friend. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

  Blake smiled, and pulled away to pat him on the shoulder. “Never, Sam. I’ll miss you too.”

  There were a few more hushed words between them, and then Blake turned towards me. Tears spilled over and I blinked incessantly to stop them. He smiled sadly as strode over to me. Wiping the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, he whispered, “You act like I’m dying or something. You know this isn’t goodbye forever, Lily. I’ll be back.”

  “I don’t know that,” I sniffed.

  “As soon as I clean up the mess my sister made, I’ll text or call. Okay?”

  I nodded, and attempted to smile through my tears. Blake enfolded his arms around me, holding me tight against his broad chest. While he rocked me gently back and forth, his breath hitched. Voice cracking, he whispered in my ear, “Take care of yourself, Lily. Give Ashton a chance, he may just be what you need. I can’t give that to you anymore.” He swallowed a few times. “God, I’ll miss you.”

  The flood gates exploded. Hot, salty tears gushed down my face and a sob escaped. We held each other for a few minutes, me crying and Blake swallowing the lump in his throat.

  Removing his arms, he held my face in his hands and wiped the tears away again. His gray eyes were red rimmed, and he croaked out, “Don’t forget what I told you. Live. Enjoy life. Be happy. Don’t ever give up. You deserve so much more than you’ve been given the last few months.”

  Closing his eyes and his Adams apple bobbing in his throat, Blake pulled away. After a deep breath, he cleared his throat, opened his eyes, and said, “I’ll be in touch soon. See you guys later.”

  He turned on his heels and walked out the door of Revive. And out of my life.

  My hand flew to my mouth as another sob escaped. Ashton enveloped his arms around me and drew me in close. He kissed my hair, and I let go. The sobs racked my body with every breath. Trying to pull me closer, Ashton squeezed me and rubbed his arms along my back in a comforting gesture. He let me cry it out, soaking his shirt in the process. Without saying a word, Ashton consoled me with his arms and acceptance. He understood that Blake held a small part of my heart, and maybe just a little, Blake meant something to him too.

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  Two months later...

  Ashton reclined precariously on a chair in the kitchen, a checker board spread out on the dark wooden table top in front of him. He balanced on the back two legs of the chair and lifted his arms out to the side for stability.

  I smiled and paused on the staircase to observe him balance perfectly. I had just finished hanging out with Sam upstairs, and he crashed not too long after our romantic comedy movie started. So instead of being bored, I headed downstairs. Only I found Ashton in an act of childishness with his chair. It was too endearing not to watch.

  Over the last two months, Ashton was nothing but
patient. He held me when I cried over Blake, helped get my cat Jinx back along with my identification, and used any free time to wine and dine me until I felt like I was the queen of the world. And because I’d lost my freelance job from everything in my life over the past months, Ashton offered me an office manager job at Revive. Which I think was his way to keep an eye on me, but whatever. Not that I minded it much.

  Blake had yet to check in, but I stopped hanging on every text and phone call. I just hoped he was happy where he was. His name still brought a pang of sadness when mentioned. Mostly because he knew I loved Ashton, and pursued me anyway. I lost not only somebody who truly cared, but a man who’d become a great friend.

  Paige and Alistair followed up on clues for Carlotta’s whereabouts, but no concrete evidence on her whereabouts. Currently they were overseas on an undisclosed mission to locate her, and Paige sounded annoyed as usual.

  The Contingent and the Enforcers of the area had actually gotten along for the most part. They both visited Ashton’s club on a regular basis. No fights had ensued yet. For that, I was thankful. The last thing we needed was another conflict.

  My attention focused on Ashton’s physique. His muscles jumped as he moved his arms for balance. His shirt stretched over the six-pack abs, pants hugging his thighs. His dark hair was shorter now and he dressed more casual as of late. Jeans and a t-shirt were his new clothing of choice these days.

  Leaning back further, Ashton kicked out his legs to keep the equilibrium of the chair. My eyes then swerved to the checker board game and I shivered. The last time we played checkers...

  My face flamed when I noticed Ashton grinned up at me. I hadn’t realized he spotted me on the stairs.

  “Checkers?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

  His smile grew as his chair righted itself, and he replied, “Yep. You want red or black?”

  “Red,” I said, and trotted down the last few stairs to enter the dining nook.

  “Are you sure? Last time you picked red, I think I won...twice,” Ashton quipped, stacking up the checkers on the board.

  I laughed. “Ashton, I think you won a lot more than a game of checkers that night. And I believe twice.”

  He chuckled. “That I did, that I did. So, is this game going to end the same way tonight?”

  Our eyes met and it was electric. I’d held out on him, wanting to take my time with this. Ashton was worthy of my full heart and soul, even though he had it from the moment I blew the security system at Revive. But then again it was harder than hell to keep my pants on around him with steamy kisses in between our dates.

  I sat next to him and tried to keep my composure, but it was hard. Oh, so hard.

  “You tell me,” I breathed, and bit my lip.

  Ashton groaned, “Don’t tease me, Lily. A man can only take so much.”

  Shaking my head, I smirked and moved my checker into place.

  We continued playing, hands every so often caressed or eyes locked across the table. The sexual tension between us ballooned as he slid his last checker and licked his lips. Who knew that checkers could actually be sensual? Or maybe it was just because it was Ashton.

  After the third game started, Ashton stopped and met my eyes again. His hand reached out and he ran his knuckles down my cheek. “You’re so beautiful, Liliana.”

  “If you say so,” I replied, cheeks burning.

  “I know so.”

  Then, like magnets, our mouths crashed together in a frenzied kiss. Ashton’s hands snaked through my hair, guiding my head closer to him. Desire rose in my blood and down to my core.

  Ashton raked the checkers and board off the table with a quick swipe of his hand. The pieces clattered across the floor. Picking me up in his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist and I locked my feet at his lower back. My fingernails ran across his back underneath his shirt and against the rigid muscles. Ashton groaned against my mouth.

  He spread me on the table, only removing his mouth to run his tongue along my throat. I moaned, pressing closer to his erection straining behind his jeans.

  “You know,” Sam said, interrupting the moment, “the bedroom tends to be the place that most people do that.”

  I started and Ashton jerked away from me as though were teenagers caught in the act. Helping to my feet, he sighed. “He has the worst timing ever.”

  “You aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know.”

  “I’m right here, guys,” Sam sassed, hands on his hips. “If you want to have sex on all the hard surfaces in this house, I suggest using a good bleach cleaning solution. And also waiting until the roommate isn’t home.”

  I laughed, and wrapped my arms around Ashton’s neck. “You know, he’s got a point.”

  “Damn right I do,” Sam playfully scorned, all smiles. “Now, I suggest if you want to finish what you started on the kitchen table, Ashton’s master suite is on the third floor. Or if you’re in a hurry, you could use one of the guest bedrooms on the second.”

  “Or you could make yourself scarce,” Ashton suggested.

  “No way! And miss out on Lily telling me all the sexy details about your love making session that’s long overdue?”

  Ashton narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t tell him about our love making do you?”

  I smirked, and said, “Not all the details.”

  “I think that the mood has been officially broken for now,” Ashton grunted, shaking his head at the two of us.

  “So what are we going to do?” Sam asked with a yawn.

  With a smirk, Ashton offered, “We could play checkers.”

  “Hell, no. I know how that ended the last time if the pieces all over this floor are any indication.” Sam laughed and gestured to the scattered red and black checkers all over the place. “I love you both, but that’s not a line I think we should cross.”

  Ashton chuckled. “Agreed. But I have other plans for our girl here.”

  “Let me guess, another night of extravagant dining in some fancy establishment?”

  With a wicked grin, Ashton said, “You could put it that way, I guess.”

  Sam rolled his eyes and I laughed, smacking Ashton playfully on the arm. My belly ached with need at the promise behind his eyes.

  Even though I missed Blake’s friendship, I finally let myself feel again without reservations. And I realized that Ashton, when not on a jealous streak, was one hell of a man. Every moment we spent together was full of adventure. He never once hesitated to pull out all the stops.

  We jet skied at a country club in our formal wear, rode horses through the nature preserve, splashed through the fountains at the Circle Centre monument, and had fun with the exhibits at the Children’s Museum. Ashton finally taught me that even though we were different, we didn’t have to act like it. We could be just as carefree as any human.

  Ashton tossed me over his shoulder and playfully smacked my ass. “You know, Sam. The bedroom sounds like a nice time to spend the evening.”

  “Pfft. The evening?” Sam wisecracked. “I’ll see you both in the morning. If not the next day.”

  I dangled over Ashton’s shoulder, and swiped the hair out of my face to give Sam a dirty look.

  As Ashton carted me up the stairs, Sam called out, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Who am I kidding? Do everything I would do!”

  *****

  Ashton tossed me on the bed once inside the master suite, and I giggled like a school girl. He jumped and landed on top of me.

  “Now, where were we?” he asked, running a finger over my lips.

  “I think you were about to take advantage of me,” I said, and nipped at his finger.

  “Liliana, I don’t take advantage, I’ll make sure you beg me for it.”

  “Oh, you won’t have to do much to make me beg, Ashton,” I chuckled, tongue darting out to swirl along his finger this time.

  His eyes changed, irises darkening. He growled, “I want you to beg.”

  Slowly, oh so slowly, Ashton removed my shir
t, palms caressing my skin. Each article of clothing was removed at a leisurely pace, until I was naked before his gaze. He licked my nipples and I arched against the mattress with a whimper.

  Then without warning, he pulled away and only moments later ran his tongue along the sensitive folds between my legs. My body bowed against the bed and my skin tingled from his sensual assault. Supernatural energy flowed through every nerve ending and lit a fire under the skin. It hummed through my blood and as I climaxed, the lamp beside the bed sizzled.

  Panting from pleasure, Ashton gave me a carnal kiss before ripping his shirt over his shoulders. Next went his jeans until he was fully unclothed. Each corded muscle rippled as he leaned back down to pull a nipple in to his mouth again. His need was evident as he pressed against me, every so often moving his hips forward.

  “Oh, God, Ashton. I can’t stand it,” I moaned, lifting my hips.

  Ashton pulled away to search my face, still teasing me with his hardness. He whispered, “I love you, Liliana.”

  And rolling off my tongue, as natural as breathing, I said, “I love you too, Ashton.”

  “Do you trust me?” he groaned as I rolled my hips against him.

  “Of course.”

  “Can I finally complete us? Can I finally make you mine?” he asked, and the seriousness of his statement caused me to hesitate for a minute.

  I loved Ashton. I knew I always had, but was scared of what my future held. Blake was always going to hold a tiny piece of my heart, no matter what happened between Ashton and me. And Ashton understood that, knowing that Blake’s friendship was important. And I loved Ashton all the more because of it.

  But for the first time in my life, I was happy. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Ashton would never let me down again. He’d fight for me. Cherish me. And love me with everything he had in him.

  “Yes,” I whispered, still scared of the pain of teeth sinking into my skin.

 

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