by Mariah Stone
He kissed her again, hungrier this time, his lips brushing against her with need. He lay back on the bed and pulled her with him so that she lay on top of him. He cupped her breast and massaged it, playing with her nipple. An acute bolt of pleasure shot through her, and she whimpered like a kitten.
Her blood on fire, she pressed herself against him like she would die if she didn’t. He glided his palms against her, leaving traces of fire. Her breath ragged, she swam in the sensations like a drunkard wanting more.
Konnor’s fingers reached the edge of her breeches, and he froze. She looked at him. His eyes were black, naked lust shining in them, but also a question.
“Marjorie?”
“Aye, Konnor.”
A hot need pulsated between her legs. All she wanted was him—his hands, his body, his skin against hers—as much as possible. She wanted to dissolve in him, become one. Body to body. Soul to soul.
“I need this,” she whispered. “I need ye. Help me erase the memories. Help me become whole again.”
He swallowed hard.
“Sweet Marjorie, it’s you who helps me heal.”
Oh, she wanted him to heal… Mayhap, if he healed enough, he would reconsider returning to his time? Mayhap, he’d want to stay and say more of those words he’d told her, like calling her Highland queen.
Then every day could be like this, full of bliss and happiness and love.
He let her roll next to him on the bed without breaking an inch of body contact. He released the straps that tied the breeches on her hips and slowly pushed them down. A sudden wave of fear came over her. She felt vulnerable and weak, being so exposed to him. Should she tell him to stop?
No. It was Konnor with her. He could never hurt her. And she wanted this more than she wanted to take her next breath.
Soon, her breeches lay on the floor next to the bed, and Konnor ran his knuckles slowly up her naked leg, bringing every inch of it to life.
“God, you’re perfection,” he whispered. He left soft, wet kisses down her neck. “I want to kiss you here. And here. And here.”
He went to her breasts and took one in his mouth. He licked and sucked her nipple, and a storm of pleasure rushed through Marjorie. She gasped, making sounds she’d never heard herself make in her life. He went to the second breast, his hand still on the first one, and repeated his sweet torture there.
When she thought she couldn’t take it anymore and would burst in a geyser of sunlight and sweetness, he withdrew and continued his way down, leaving hot kisses on her stomach, caressing her hips at the same time. Her inner muscles clenched in anticipation—like before a jump into the loch for the first time—both scary and exciting.
He massaged her thighs, squeezing her flesh as he went. Marjorie felt her entrance grow wet, and her face flushed in embarrassment. But before she could say anything, his mouth was on her there.
She sucked in air as the sensation took her. He spread her folds with his fingers and played with his tongue.
“Konnor…” she whimpered, putting her hands on his shoulders to push him away.
Oh, how embarrassing.
But he was like a stone wall, and she didn’t want him to stop, not really. The most beautiful pleasure spread through her in waves of sheer bliss. How could she possibly feel so good down there when all she had known had been pain?
“Konnor…” she moaned, and there was a hot plea in her voice.
He gave a low rumble of lust against her flesh, moans that made her feel like a goddess. He flickered a spot with his tongue, and something began to build within her, tightening and accelerating and expanding at the same time.
He withdrew, leaving her wanting more, much more.
“Sweet Jesu,” she said, her words resembling a moan. “I have never kenned my body could do this.”
Her glance went down his breeches where a considerable bulge showed between his legs.
“Take me like a man takes a woman,” she said, and Konnor’s face darkened. “Make the darkness go away.”
Konnor swallowed, and his eyes shone. “My beautiful warrior queen, I will help you forget everything bad that ever happened to you.”
“Aye,” she whispered.
He straightened, still on his knees between her thighs. Without taking his eyes off her, he undid his breeches and pushed them down. His erection sprung free, straight and big, and Marjorie’s breath caught at the sight. She’d avoided looking at Alasdair, and other penises she’d seen by chance when men bathed in the loch hadn’t been erect.
Oh God, would he even fit inside of her without hurting?
He kicked his breeches off and pushed them to the floor. He lowered himself on top of her and supported himself with his elbows on both sides of her shoulders. His weight was pleasant and welcome on top of her, and she wrapped her arms around him. He cupped her face with both his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. There was heat, and anguish, and adoration in his gaze, and something that resembled love. Her heart squeezed.
“I have never wanted a woman more than I want you,” Konnor said. “My Highland queen.”
There it was again, the words that brought her hope. He kissed her, spurring a new wave of desire through her veins. There was such hunger, as though he’d die if they stopped. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her, wanting to dissolve in him and become one.
He positioned himself at her entrance, gently stretching her. He withdrew slightly and locked his eyes with hers. He sank into her slowly, gently filling her like an empty vessel, she nearly fainted from the pleasure spreading through her. He dove deeper, till he reached the very end, and there was no pain, nothing but profound connection and bliss.
“Marjorie,” he whispered hoarsely.
She drowned in the blue intensity of his eyes, diffusing in him. But it wasn’t enough. She needed more. She urged him to go on by digging her fingers into the tight flesh of his buttocks. He withdrew and plunged again, faster, and Marjorie gasped from the bolt of pleasure. He withdrew and thrust back into her, and she moved her hips to match his rhythm. He groaned softly, and his plunges grew faster, and the same feeling of tightening and building up took her over. She breathed erratically, and so did he. He devoured her with his gaze as though he’d seen spring for the first time in his life.
And then she fell apart in cascading waves of pure sunlight that ate every last piece of darkness. A pleasure that she’d never known slammed through her. She was unravelling, peeled open, cleansed, and finally free. Her mind went blank as she convulsed over and over in delicious, soul-shattering shakes.
Konnor stiffened together with her, cried out her name, bucked and lost himself, coming on her stomach and finding his release.
He collapsed by her side, taking her into his arms. He pulled the blanket on top of them, and as she was drifting into sleep, a realization shot through her in an arrow of aching pain. She was falling in love with Konnor, the man from the future.
She prayed to Jesu and Mary that he would change his mind and stay with her. A life of love and happiness with Konnor and Colin was the hope she fought for now…
Chapter 27
Konnor brought Marjorie closer to him. He was warm and heavy and melted together with her. He’d never seen anyone as beautiful as her during her release.
He’d call her a queen.
No. She was more like a goddess. A Highlander goddess, free and perfect and powerful. There was this light in her, this strength he didn’t think he had.
Seeing that he done that to her, that she’d unraveled because of him, that he was the one who’d given her this positive experience after what she’d been through…
He nuzzled against her head and took a lungful of the scent of her hair. He felt like he was flying, like he’d just brushed against the sky.
He put his leg over her hip to bring her as close as possible. What if every day could be like this, be full of this closeness and this light? Full of taking care of her, playing soccer with Colin, d
oing something useful with his hands. What if every day could feel like he’d just touched a miracle?
Him? A miracle?
Something dark twisted in his gut. He wasn’t supposed to touch a miracle. If anything, he was on his way to hell.
A shard of fear pierced his heart at the thought. Nothing could change the facts. Nothing could change who he was. He knew nothing of happiness and love. He had no idea how to be a good father and a husband. There were no miracles for him.
As though sensing the shift in him, Marjorie stirred and twisted in his arms to turn and face him. He met her luminous almond-shaped eyes and kissed her briefly on her soft, sweet lips. She reached out and ran her fingers through his short hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the touch.
“Konnor,” she said.
“Don’t,” Konnor said. “Please. Don’t.”
She kept silent, and when he opened his eyes, he hated himself. Her carefree, sunny expression was gone. Her shields were up, guarding that magic from him.
“What?” she said. “Ye dinna ken what I was about to say.”
Their bodies disconnected, and cold crept into Konnor’s heart. He sat up, sorry he was leaving her silky, taut body.
“Whatever you were going to say, I should never have done this. I should never have listened to this urge. I should’ve stayed away from you.”
She sat up, too, holding the blanket to her chest. The hurt in her eyes twisted his heart.
“Do ye regret what happened?” she said.
“Marjorie, whatever happened, nothing is going to change the truth. I can never be the man you deserve. And nothing is going to change the fact that I’m leaving.”
She blinked, her eyelashes trembling. She reached for her tunic on the floor and yanked it on to cover herself. Then she left the bed and went to stand by the window.
“Aye, I ken ye want to leave. Ye never said ye would stay.” She turned and faced him with her arms wrapped around her stomach protectively. “But I thought… I hoped after what ye said to me about helping ye heal, and what ye called me, and after what ye did—what we did…” She gestured at the bed.
Konnor found his breeches and put them on. He couldn’t stand hurting her like this. He ached to take her in his arms. To soothe her. To give her that sunlight that had shone through her eyes again.
He walked around the bed. She stepped back.
“That’s why I should never have given in to this. I don’t want to hurt you. And I am. And I hate doing this.”
“Then dinna,” she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes.
Guilt twisted Konnor’s gut. “I have to go, Marjorie. I told you I’d stay to protect you, and now that you’re safe, I must go back to my life. My mother… She depends on me. I have my company to run. We have no future, you and I, no matter how much I—”
The word love almost slipped off his tongue.
“No matter how much I care about you, I’ll never be the right man for you.”
“Not a right man for me? Ye brought me back to life. Ye changed me. Ye returned my strength and confidence to me. Ye saved me and my son. Are you saying all that is nae good for me?”
“Love only leads to pain, Marjorie. Love is a lie.”
Silence hung between them, heavy and so saturated that Konnor could cut it with a knife.
“I don’t know how not to hurt a woman’s heart. How to be a good father. I grew up with this darkness. This violence.” He dragged his hands through his short hair, pulling the skin of his scalp back.
“If I ever hurt you…” Konnor shook his head. “I couldn’t live with myself. I just can’t.”
Marjorie stepped to him and took his hands in hers. She kissed his knuckles and looked at him.
“Ye wilna hurt me. Ye wilna become yer stepfather.”
Konnor shook his head, his eyes stinging. “You don’t know that. Marjorie, I do care about you. I meant every word I said. You’re the most stunning woman I’ve ever met.”
Her eyes watered.
“But I can’t stay,” he continued. “I’ve been straightforward with you from the beginning. I must return to my time. My place is there. And your place is with a man who can be a great example for Colin and who won’t break your heart. I cannot give you the love you deserve.”
A tear ran down from her eye, and Konnor wiped it with his thumb.
“I hate ye,” she whispered. “I ken yer mother needs ye. I understand that. But I still wish I’d never met ye. Ye opened me up to this possibility of happiness. Something I thought was never meant for me. Ye were wonderful with Colin and ye made me hope and put my guard down and feel things I’ve never felt for anyone.” She slapped his chest, stinging him. “And now ye’re leaving.”
She shook her head, biting her lower lip.
“I kent I should never trust a man. But I broke my rule for ye. Ye canna be trusted. I gave ye the power to hurt me even more than he did—and ye’re using it.”
Konnor’s heart sank to his feet. Pain like an arrow piercing his chest shot through him. He hated himself. He wished he could give Marjorie every happiness that she deserved. And he hated that he was the source of her heartbreak.
“Marjorie…”
She pulled her breeches up angrily and tied them at her waist.
“Dinna say my name.” Her eyes shot daggers into him. “And if ye life is dear to ye, ye’ll go. Now. I canna stand a moment more of seeing ye.”
She pulled on her shoes and marched towards the door. She turned to him. “I’m going to the great hall. When I get back, ye better be gone. Dinna return, or I will fight ye, and ye will be sorry.”
She walked out and slammed the giant door behind her. And as her angry steps receded down the stairs, Konnor stood. He had no will to move. But he had to.
“Goodbye, Marjorie,” he whispered, staring at the closed door and wondering how he was going to breathe in a world where she didn’t exist.
He went to his bedroom, where three wounded lay sleeping, and quietly changed to his cargo pants, his T-shirt, and his jacket. He’d been here, what? A week or so? He’d lost count of how many days. The modern clothes felt foreign on him, as though they belonged to another life.
To another man.
He considered stopping by Colin’s bedroom and saying goodbye, but he didn’t want to wake the boy.
From the pocket of his military jacket, he fished out the watch Andy had given him. It was 5:34 p.m. The second hand on the watch ticked, cutting the time, stealing it bit by bit from Konnor.
He didn’t want to leave Marjorie and Colin. But he couldn’t leave his mother alone.
And even if he didn’t have his mom, nothing could change the fact that he just wasn’t great husband or father material. A little game of soccer and him saving the boy hadn’t changed that. He was a soldier, and it was a soldier’s duty to protect and save people. And soccer… Big whoop. Anyone could kick a ball around with a boy.
Still, he’d miss Colin. He climbed the stairs to the next floor and opened Colin’s bedroom door. It was dark inside with the shutters closed. The boy lay in the bed and slept peacefully under the blanket. Konnor found himself itching to tuck him in and kiss his forehead to say goodbye.
He put his watch on one of the chests in the corner and threw a last glance at Colin’s unruly head of hair. Why did it feel like betrayal that he was leaving him and Marjorie?
He walked through the courtyard where dead bodies lay lined along the wall. A razor blade was cutting out his heart with each step he took. He wanted to say goodbye to Muir and Malcolm and other warriors he’d fought shoulder to shoulder with. He wanted to help bring Tamhas’s body back.
But it would be better if he left now.
As he walked out of the gates, someone called after him.
“Konnor!”
He looked back. Isbeil wobbled towards him. For the first time since he’d met her, she looked tired. Her eyes were sunken deeper into her sockets, and her aged skin had an ashen undertone.
“Yes.”
“Hm. I thought more of ye.”
“I never promised to stay.”
She nodded. “Aye. ‘Tis true. Are ye saying the faerie that commands the magic of time travel was wrong about ye?”
He swallowed a lump the size of a boulder. “Unfortunately, she was. I have to go. I’ve fulfilled my duty here. Marjorie is safe, so is Colin. I have a person in my life who’s waiting for me, and who needs me.”
“Be well, Konnor. Something tells me, though, I still may see ye.”
Konnor shook his head, and on a strange whim, leaned down and hugged the tiny woman with one arm. She smelled of herbs, blood, and something waxy, like old wood. “Take care of her, will you?” he murmured.
When he released Isbeil, her eyes watered.
Without another word, Konnor turned and left the castle. Time crawled. With each step, he felt like the ground itself clawed at his feet, making it difficult to move forward. He followed the stream that went into the woods and continued down into the ravine to the east.
Twilight had descended by the time he made it to the ruin. He studied the remnants of the ancient tower, the rubble around it, and finally the damned time-traveling rock itself. Compared to a few days ago, he felt like he was coming back as a different man—broader, bigger, and lighter. Expanded.
But with a huge, open wound and his heart ripped out from his chest.
A figure in a long cloak sat on one of the stones of the tower and held something in her hands. Marjorie, he thought, his gut squeezing with excitement.
“Loves me, loves me nae…” A white petal flew in the air. “Loves me, loves me nae…” Another petal fell.
The figure raised her hooded head.
“Sìneag…” Konnor murmured, his stomach dropping with disappointment.
She stood up and walked to him, an oxeye daisy with only one petal left in her hand. She held it in front of him and plucked it demonstratively. “Loves me,” she said and beamed. “I think she loves ye, Konnor.”