Every four months we meet with him. We talked about what was going well and the areas we needed to work on, and he did his best to come up with something to make us feel like shit.
Because it was the first in years that we’d had an opening for a research associate, he’d wanted to hear from our two candidates. He’d wanted to hear how they’d been doing so far now that they’d been here for the last three months.
Three months had gone by. Three whole months of me working with Laila, helping her and being a friend.
I hadn’t gone to her house so I hadn’t seen Peter, and our relationship was very much work and go. That was it. It was as if the explosive chemistry we had in the beginning never happened.
The same as it was like all my years of friendship with Brad never happened.
I didn’t talk to him at all. No more than anything about work, and if I could avoid even that then I would.
I’d sat next to him today because I had to. Me, Brad, and Nick were on one side of the boardroom table while Laila and Kirk were on the other side.
We were in one of the smaller meeting rooms but there was an overhead projector ready to be used if needed.
The meeting started ten minutes ago where Brad gave the rundown of what Kirk and Laila had been doing in their trial.
I’d been watching Nick because he kept looking to Laila with an air of scrutiny in his gaze. That was always the tell that there was something he didn’t quite like. I was willing to bet that it might be because she was Brad’s sister. I expected him to be hard on her just for that.
He looked to her first as Brad wrapped up with his usual asskisser smile. I’d always made it my duty to keep a straight face when around Nick because I didn’t want him thinking I was like Brad at all, or that I would brownnose because I needed him for something.
“I like this competition,” Nick stated, templing his fingers. “I think it was a must when posed with two candidates who met the initial requirements for the person we’re looking for. What we need is someone who’s in line with the ethos at Remington’s. The team here is solid. That puts us ahead of the game. I’d like to hear a little more about your research projects and how they’re going. I’ve looked over the reports from the units and I’m happy with your work on your teams. But I want your minds now. Miss Hughes, you first.”
I tensed when Laila did even though I preempted she’d be first.
I gave her a nod of encouragement because her ideas were definitely in line with Remington’s.
“Thank you,” Laila answered. “My research project is on nanotech and the applications that are being used so far in delivering drugs to patients with complex brain tumors.”
“That’s a very interesting topic. We haven’t delved into that much here,” Nick stated, but he still had that assessing look.
“I thought it required some interest. I’ve been interested in it for a long time. So far the nanotech combo with bioengineering research here has been very innovative with how the technology can assist in repairing damaged tissue. I wanted to focus on the matter of effectiveness for patients with more serious complications. The center at St. Michael’s is conducting trials right now that are of deep interest to me. The patients are responding very well.”
“When you say very well, what specifically do you mean?”
“The tumors are shrinking and the best part is the way that the treatment is administered means that people who may not be able to have surgery could potentially have it that way.”
“I see what you mean. Has Dr. Gregory alluded to the fact that this may be the case?” Nick questioned, and there it was. The thing I was waiting for.
“Not so much, but I have, the same way I’ve considered the possibility of using the technology for cell regeneration and repair. Imagine how it would assist in neurodegenerative disorders like Alzheimer’s.”
While Laila looked pleased with herself, Nick did not. That definitely surprised me. Something like that would be good for us to research.
“I don’t like to discourage, but what I’m more for is the encouragement of ideas that are viable. What you’re saying leans more on the theoretical side of science and we can’t know for certain.”
“Oh, absolutely. I completely agree with you. There are, however, several research papers and studies popping up from colleges like Princeton and Yale that I’ve read. This idea isn’t new at all.”
“But it’s theory and very much in the early stages of development. It isn’t even something anyone has taken past certain levels more than animal experiments for the amount of effort and higher levels of increased dosage of nanobites required.”
“That is true but the scientific and medical worlds are always changing. Researchers have been conducting various tests on animals that show regeneration and in humans nanotech has been used in patients with Alzheimer’s to help inhibit the neuroinflammatory responses. That’s with the hope to improve cognition. Why can’t we test in different ways and for different things?”
I liked how she handled herself.
She made me proud. Just me though. Because Nick looked displeased. Brad took the cue to channel his abilities to be an asshole.
“Miss Hughes, I appreciate your explanation,” Brad said. “The ideas sound great but we can’t run free on just theory.”
“Exactly,” Nick agreed.
I swallowed hard and straightened up then cleared my throat, cutting off Nick’s next words.
“If I may impart here,” I begin. “We’re a research center that prides itself on new ideas. Imagine if we did find some results. We’ve done many things here. Some successful, some not. Why shoot this idea down?”
“Because Dr. Dawson, we’re not into flights of fancy and ideas that are frivolous pursuits. Money is what is involved here. We will not waste it,” Nick answered and turned his attention back to Laila. “I suggest you keep your project within the remit of basic. I like what you’re doing so far. Keep it that way.”
Laila nodded but I could tell she was hurt. Of course she would be. As her face took on a crestfallen look, Kirk smiled wide.
“Dr. Foster, let’s hear from you,” Nick said.
Then we had to sit through a whole hour of Kirk’s presentation, which Nick absolutely loved.
I’d never seen the man look so pleased. Kirk’s research was based on the advances of artificial intelligence in neuroscience. Right now we had government contracts to help soldiers who were injured at war. His idea for working better with living tissue stemmed from programs like Star Trek. His presentation started with an image of Seven of Nine, a cyborg from Star Trek Voyager, then he talked about cyborgs in general and blew both Nick and Brad away.
I just sat still, expressionless. It wasn’t that I thought Kirk’s idea was shit. It was just that I thought both ideas were good. How much different in theory and flights of fancy was it borrowing from cyborg technology in comparison to using nanotech in patients with Alzheimer’s?
The meeting ended, finally, and Nick was smiling ear to ear.
“Dr. Foster, I’d like to hear more about your ideas on this. Can you shoot me an email?” Nick beamed.
“Of course,” Kirk answered proudly.
“Better yet, do you have time for coffee? Forgive me, I’m just intrigued.”
“No need for forgiveness. I have time.”
I remained sitting while Nick and Kirk walked out of the room talking heartily. Brad rose to his feet, looked from Laila to me, and kept his silence.
That was a clear sign that he wasn’t happy.
I watched him as he walked out of the room too, leaving us.
It was only then that I looked to Laila. She slowly turned her gaze to me and I could tell she was humiliated.
“Do you want to get out of here?” I asked.
She looked thrown by the question but almost relieved. “You mean leave?”
“Yeah, school’s out. Let’s take the rest of the day off.”
She started laughing.
“S
ay yes baby, I’ll get you some ice cream.” I nodded, like that was supposed to make it all the more enticing. When she was little she used to love ice cream. Wave a cone of double chocolate ice cream in front of her and she’d agree to anything. It also made her feel better.
“Yes.”
We went to the park again where I saw her that week with Peter, but went to the other side by the lake. There was a little boardwalk where we walked to and sat on the end eating ice cream. We each had a tub that a max of two people would normally share.
“I’m going to be fat. I am,” she complained, as she scooped up the last bit of her ice cream.
“I highly doubt that.” I chuckled, looking her over. The woman was perfect and I doubted that she gained that much weight when she was pregnant with Peter.
“You’re just saying that to be nice. Like this…” She raised the empty tub and pressed her lips together. “It’s like the past when Brad used to tell me off for something, make me feel foolish, and you’d take me for ice cream.”
“Like that trip you took to the principal’s office after your fight?” I laughed. Everyone went crazy over that. It turned into a war just because she defended herself against one of the prim-nosed bitches who always made fun of her.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Amanda deserved the punch.”
“Oh I still agree to this day, and I will still laugh.”
She started laughing at that. “Everyone went crazy, but you took me out for ice cream and brought me sweets while I was in detention. And you just walked in dressed like some biker with a cigarette tucked behind your ear.”
“Yeah I did, didn’t I?” I chuckled. I was such a badass back then. I got in trouble for that like I’d actually did something wrong. “I still don’t see the problem in bringing my girl a bag of sweets. So they can still go screw themselves, all of them.”
“And that’s exactly what you said.”
“Yup.”
The seriousness returned to her pretty face and the slight breeze lifted her hair.
“You felt sorry for me today. That’s why we’re here. You’re doing the same thing you used to.”
I shuffled around so I could face her. “I don’t feel sorry for you.”
“Don’t you?”
“No, what I feel is that the meeting was unfair, and I’m not sure why no one else could see how brilliant your idea is.”
“Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s bullshit and you just agree with me because that’s what you do.”
“Laila, it won’t help you if I lie to you. I’ve never lied to you.” I didn’t, not once. I may not have told her the full story on many things, the main thing being what happened after Vegas, but I never lied. I didn’t have the heart to lie and I didn’t have the desire to make her believe something that wasn’t true.
“I appreciate that. I was expecting more of a positive reaction today. The kind of reaction Kirk got. Both of our ideas were good. He’s a prick and a half who thinks I’m a slut, but I’ll be fair when it calls for it. It just makes me think he already has the job.”
“Don’t think like that Laila. There is still me. My report counts big time.”
“And based off today who would you pick? The man was talking about cyborgs.”
This was wrong because I was biased. I didn’t like Kirk. The guy had good ideas but he was wrong in other ways that I didn’t like.
I looked at her and saw how much she wanted the answer. An answer I shouldn’t give, but the rebel in me pushed his way out.
“Based off today, I’d pick you. You fit the ethos. I’ve never thought Kirk did.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Thank you. I needed to hear that today.”
I gave her a small smile and looked back out to the lake. There was a group of sailboats going by.
My attention only returned to her when she slid closer to rest her head on my shoulder.
Instinctively, I slipped my arm around her so she could snuggle against my chest, and ran my fingers along the smooth skin of her arms.
We stayed just like that until it got dark, then I took her straight home.
I walked her up to her door like we’d just gone on some date or like I was expecting to go inside.
“Do you want to come in for supper? I could make us nachos and we could watch a film. Peter would love to see you.”
I stared at her. She looked like she really believed we could be like that.
“I’d love to see Peter too. He’s a great kid. And that sounds great. Nachos are definitely something I’d love to have with you, but I can’t. I have…” My voice trailed off when I gazed down at her cautious expression. “I’ve always had a thing for Peter’s mom, have for a very long time. It’s a thing that will land my ass in trouble or in the loony bin for my wild thoughts. You see, in my warped brain, it feels like Peter should be my kid, and you still feel like my girl even though we were only technically together for two days. It just felt like the whole time to me. So…it’s best I don’t come in.”
What I saw in her eyes now, under the amber glow of the porch lights, was fear. Fear mingled with desire.
But…desire seemed to overpower fear in the step she took closer to me.
Another step and she reached up for my face and guided my lips to hers.
I closed my eyes to savor her, savor the taste of her. Her soft lips and that sweet taste I relished from her mouth.
The kiss was like a rush of pure energy over my body and soul. It was like someone took raw desire and injected me with it.
Every time I kissed this girl—this woman—the experience was different. But the one thing that would always be the same was how she felt like mine.
I cupped her face to deepen the kiss and she pressed into me, allowing me to hold her and kiss her the way that I’d wanted to since forever.
While I was being honest with myself, I had to admit that it was forever. I’d loved her forever.
Love.
She stole my mind away by smoothing her hand up my chest. There was a slight flutter of her fingers in my hair but that was it. That was all we had before the front door opened suddenly, making us jump apart.
A short plump woman stood at the door with a tray of empty milk bottles and a startled look on her face.
“Oh my goodness, I didn’t know you were home,” she apologized.
“That’s okay Delia,” Laila answered. Even in the dimmed light I could see she was blushing. “Cole this is Delia, my nanny. Delia this is Cole, my…” She looked to me and had the same problem I’d had with labeling what we were, because we weren’t friends.
“We work together,” I filled in and moved to shake Delia’s hand.
“Oh wow, great to meet you,” Delia answered.
“Likewise.”
“Peter and his bikes. He’s still stuck on Indiana Jones. We’re on the fifth run-through.”
“He’s still talking about that?” I asked.
Laila shook her head. “Hasn’t stopped.”
“Well, I’d better leave you to it. Tell him I said hi.” I drew in a breath, trying damn hard to shake the kiss. I wanted to do more than kiss her.
Much more.
“I will,” Laila answered.
On that note I left, not looking back.
The last thing I’d wanted to do was make things worse.
But what if I couldn’t resist her?
What if I wanted to be selfish and make her mine again?
What if…
Why was I even asking the question?
I do. I do want to make her mine.
I do want to be selfish.
Laila
My lips burned with the memory of that kiss.
I thought about Cole all night. I barely slept, and this morning I woke with the memory of the kiss and him in my mind.
Him there and what he’d said to me.
It was everything, and meant everything to me to hear what he’d said.
I’d done the very thing Piper warned me about. Allowing the real deal to pass me by because of fear.
But the chance hadn’t passed me by yet.
Fear of having my heart broken again had definitely made me want to reach for my survival instinct to stick to what I could control. However, I’d reached a point where I could no longer hold back.
The last few months hadn’t exactly been easy seeing Cole. They just left me wondering.
Wondering what we could be, wondering what we could have been, wondering if he still felt the same, wondering if the women I’d seen him talking to were women he was seeing.
It wasn’t like it was impossible. I figured the fact that he was still single was just an act of chance. That must have been what it was because I hadn’t been blind to the way those women looked at him. They all wanted him and last night I kissed him the way I’d always wanted to. If I’d had the courage when I was younger, I would have just walked up to him and kissed him. Now that I had and I’d basically changed things up again, the question was what now?
With Piper just a text away, a quick message to her before work had us arranging to meet at the little coffeehouse.
Seeing her this time felt different. Maybe because time had passed and I was more at ease.
She was already there when I arrived. She ordered me a giant mug of hot chocolate to match hers and we both ordered an assortment of pastries.
It was like we’d gone wild with a breakfast feast while I spilled my worries and told her the latest.
“You should be conflicted more often, I’m loving this,” she said, munching on a pain au chocolate. As the crust crumbled over her hands she giggled. “Oh sugar, look at me making such a mess.”
“It’s fine, it’s good to be messy sometimes. I’m leaning more toward staying here all day and pigging out.”
“Yeah, that sounds great except that if you did you wouldn’t see Cole. You want to see Cole today don’t you?”
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