He shouts at the top of his lungs when Tequila starts crawling towards the door. He kicks her hard in the stomach, then yanks her hair, sending his fist through her jaw. She falls on the floor, unconscious. I push off my hands, screaming her name, tangling myself on the bed.
“Fine, if you want this, then you’ll have it. You will remember this afternoon for the rest of your life—which will only last until I get tired of playing with my little pet mouse.” He’s suddenly standing next to me. He uses a small silver key to release me from the handcuffs. “Stand in the middle of the room and start taking your clothes off. We need to get reacquainted with each other again, right?”
I have red marks on my wrists, and the room starts spinning when I’m back on my feet. With shaky legs I step in front of the large bed. My vision is clouded with thoughts and memories about Micah. There is no doubt that Josh will kill me if I try to run or attack him. Besides, I have no idea how many people he potentially has downstairs. My hands are shaking when I pull off my jumper and jeans, imagining that I’m undressing in front of Micah, not the man that violated me, raped me, and beat me until I couldn’t get up. I do everything mechanically, shutting my mind down, because it’s better not to think about what is about to happen.
When I stand in front of him in my underwear, the darkness clouds everything: my mind, my vision and my ripped-apart soul. My clothes are by the end of the bed, and I know that I might have only a split second decision to make this right.
Tequila is unconscious and that might be a good thing. It’s better if she doesn’t see what is just about to happen.
“Do you think that your perfect Micah Thomson won’t notice how ugly you really are?”
I dismiss his questions, his words like a thousand small knives being twisted inside my gut.
“Bra, take it off. I need to look at your tits,” I hear him ordering me, hopefully for the last time. I know that my hands are trembling when I release the clip and my bra falls on the floor. The rat is laughing out loud and when I open my eyes he is standing right in front of me, way too close. I have been telling myself that I shouldn’t be scared, but right now I’ve lost control. I’m at his mercy, and the problem is that he doesn’t have any kind of empathy, none. And he won’t stop until he completely breaks me, until I’m in that cramped, dark hole in the wall again.
He licks his lips and, making eye contact, he holds up the same butcher knife that he used on Tequila. A moment later, he slices through my skin opening a small deep wound. The pain is familiar to me, almost a comfort as blood starts flowing down. I grit my teeth, forcing myself not to make a sound, because it will only make things worse.
I don’t know how much time passes, but in the end the blood is running down my arms, and the pain escalates. He cuts the side of my knickers and they fall down. Fear stabs my heart, grinding a hole that may never heal, when I feel him violating me between my legs.
“Wet, always so wet. I’ll teach that dirty cunt how to behave. You’re my property and you always will be. Say ‘yes, master.’ Otherwise I’ll stick this knife between your legs,” he whispers in my ear. I swallow hard, still looking at him and wondering if this is going to be my end. The tiny voice in my head says that I have to obey him, because I can’t let him turn to Tequila.
“Yes, master,” I say. A creepy smile appears on his twisted face.
“Get down on your knees and suck that dick, because this is all I’ll use you for from now on,” he orders me.
I fight with myself for a good few seconds, until I kneel in front of him, staring straight into that bulge in his crotch. He unzips his trousers and frees himself, looking down on me. For so long I believed that no one would ever force me to do anything like this again. For so long I thought I was healed.
“Suck it, or I’ll choke you with it,” he rasps, throwing the butcher knife on the bed. I take him into my hand and put it into my mouth trying to force myself not to gag. Tears are already streaming down my cheeks as he starts moaning. “Good. Suck it like a professional.”
My stomach revolts, but I free my other hand realising that my jeans are only inches away from my knees. If I can just reach out and grab that small knife that I hid away earlier on, then I might be saved. Panic mixed with disgust shuts down my defence mechanism, but I force myself to glance back at him. His eyes are closed, and his head is arched backwards.
I use my tongue to make this more pleasurable for him, while my fingers creep over towards my clothes. It takes me only a moment to find that knife hidden in my back pocket. Adrenaline spikes, as I keep moving my mouth up and down. He may enjoy this for a bit longer, because my new self screams that this is the last and final time that he ever forces me to do anything so vile.
“Yeah, whore, good. This is what I’m talking about. Don’t stop or I’ll fuck you hard, tear you apart,” he mumbles.
I wrap my fingers around the knife and attack. It’s like I’m charged with adrenaline when I know the time has come. My heart races and the world feels like it’s stopped. I pull my mouth away and stab him hard, right in the thigh, right over his femoral artery, screaming like a banshee.
The rat roars, stumbles backwards and falls on the floor. I have the smallest knife in my hand as I stand over him, taking long pulls of air, frozen in time.
“You fucking bitch, I’m going to kill you for that!” Blood spurts out of his wound, dripping down his leg, creating a small pool on the carpet. In that moment I’m like a person possessed by a demon, because I launch at him and stab him in his groin as hard as I can, twisting my lips with satisfaction. He tries to grab me, but he is clumsy from the pain and blood loss.
I’m back on my feet, thinking that I have to get out of here, out of this room. Luckily the door to the bedroom is unlocked and while that arsehole is screaming his head off I look at Tequila. There is no time and I won’t be able to run with her, so I grab his knife and get out knowing that I’ve only got this one chance. Josh won’t do anything to her; he will go after me instead. Gripping his large knife, I run to the stairs and race down, still naked, losing blood, not paying attention to the deep cuts on my arms. The sudden dizziness nearly sweeps me off my feet.
I’m stunned to notice that there is no one waiting for me downstairs, shocked that I’m not falling into the hands of Josh’s henchmen. They either must have abandoned him or someone must have spooked them. Either way this seems too easy. What if this is a trap? I stop for a moment and glance around wondering what to do. I squeeze his large knife in my palm, knowing that I can use it to finish what I started, to kill that motherfucker, that piece of shit.
I take a few seconds to catch my breath, but then someone tackles me from behind and throws me on the floor. I smell him before I realise that he has me again. He grabs my wrists and sits on top of me and I drop the knife. His hands and face are covered with blood.
He hits me before I have a chance to get him off me.
“Cunt, stupid ungrateful cunt. Do you think that’s going to stop me? I’m going to tear you apart, you whore!” he screams, and hits me again, most likely breaking my jaw, because I see stars in front of my eyes. I feel warm liquid that spreads over my naked body. My vision is blurry, and pain explodes everywhere. When he starts fiddling with his crotch I already know this is the end. I haven’t stabbed him hard enough, and now I’m going to pay for it with my life.
I lift my head, and he spits into my mouth, rasping, “I’m going to take what’s mine and then I’ll fucking kill you!”
Chapter Thirty-Two
The last confession
Micah
I’m reaching that street, blocking the voices in my head, blocking Hunter’s sharp words, and everything else that is distracting me from getting to that damn house. I have the image of Tahlia in my head, lying there in a pool of blood, beaten up and raped. No, I tell myself, she is not dead. There is still a chance, and I’m going to get her out of there. Vladimir showed up with some of his guys half an hour after we caught Kiki lying
to us, just like that, out of the blue. Apparently he has been out of the country and didn’t like the fact that I failed to deliver on my promise. He was ready to put a bullet through my head.
I nearly lost it, told him that he hadn’t held to his end of our bargain, that he never gave me what I asked for, and that Asian dude in the warehouse knew jack shit. As it turned out, he was more cooperative this time around. He gave me the address and told me to get the job done, to finish the bastard. Josh has been drowning for some time now. He lost all his influence and most of his guys abandoned him when the police cracked his newly created gang in Braxton. This is my final chance to make him pay for everything he’s done.
Now I’m so close, so damn close to ripping her away from his hands. Hunter keeps talking about some sort of plan, but I’m breaking every speed limit, driving as fast as I can through London traffic. Every muscle in my body is tense. After what feels like forever I finally slam my foot to the brake when we reach our destination.
“This is it, the address. We need to think about our strategy—”
“Fuck the strategy. I’ll go through the front; you take the back door,” I cut Hunter off straight away, clenching my fingers around my gun. I gave Vladimir my word. I hope the old bastard isn’t about to screw me over, because I swear to God, I’m going to fucking kill him. This has been going on for too long now and I’m that close from losing my shit.
Hunter looks like he wants to argue, but I get out of the van, moving my eyes around the empty street. The terrace house in front is the one where the bastard is hiding. My heart pounds fast. I nod to Hunter to start moving, and for the first time he doesn’t question my judgment call. He disappears around the back, and I’m ready to barge inside without even thinking about what I’m doing.
Tahlia has been missing for more than three hours, and Vlad told me that either way Rudolf is finished. There is a high price for his head on the streets and the Russians want to claim the money. I approach the terrace house and then lose all sensibility, smashing the door with my foot. Inside, the smell of weed and sewage hits me instantly. A second later I hear a deep raspy voice.
“Feel that cock, feel how it’s going to rip you apart, you cunt?”
I storm inside, and my eyes adjust to the dark shaded room and smell of fresh blood. At first I think that I’m hallucinating, that there is something wrong with my vision. A man is hitting a naked girl underneath him, trying to force himself inside her. It’s Tahlia, and she is not even trying to fight him off. Am I already too late?
“Get off her, you son of a bitch, or I swear to god I’ll kill you on the spot,” I shout, aiming my gun at him, imagining his brains being splattered all over the wall. When he finally lifts his head, all my nightmares start crashing down on me like a plane cascades down hitting the ground. It’s Josh; it’s definitely him. I would recognise those deep blue diamond eyes anywhere. He is staring at me with absolutely no recognition at all, like I’m a stranger to him. His head is shaved and he’s bulked up over the years since our teens. Slowly his expression shifts—fury turns into a joy and curiosity. A huge disturbing smile breaks across his face.
“Stay away from this, Micah. The cunt is my cunt, and she’s always going to stay mine,” he says, looking directly at me.
Hunter storms into the room a moment later through the kitchen. His eyes fall on his ex-boss, then on my gun. He freezes on the spot.
“I’m not going to repeat myself, arsehole. I have nothing to lose, and a lot to gain. You will die today, one way or another,” I tell him, nodding to Hunter to move, to check upstairs for any signs of Tequila. He moves past me and disappears quickly, without a word. Josh’s eyes never leave me.
My anger is so potent it tastes like blood in the back of my throat. All I have to do is press the trigger, but I’m thinking about Tahlia, wondering if she is going to survive this. She is barely moving now, covered with blood, spread on the floor underneath him. I can’t tell if she is wounded or if that’s his blood. Josh hesitates, but eventually lifts himself up. Blood runs down his groin, his damaged but semi hard dick hanging out of his trousers. This is the most disturbing shit that I have ever seen in my entire life. He is not the man that I used to know. Now he is just a murderer.
“You shouldn’t have come here, Micah. My guys will be storming through the doors before you know it,” he says, wobbling like he is unable to keep his balance.
I laugh, shaking my head, barely controlling myself. “You have no more leverage. Everyone has run away, left you all alone, so shut your fucking mouth and listen, because I’m ready to pull the trigger.”
He cocks his head to the side, like he is trying to stretch his muscles, not taking his eyes off me. We both hear some banging upstairs. I hope that Hunter found Tequila, that she is all right.
“You won’t kill me, Micah. We’ve been friends since we were kids. You’re like a brother to me.”
Anger begins to consume me, riding every breath and latching onto every cell in my body.
“Don’t you even dare to bring up the past. We were never brothers. You destroyed everything good when you murdered Steph, and when you hurt Tahlia. I don’t know how you manage to sleep at night. You’re a sadistic son of a bitch, a monster. Right now we are done. There is no one coming to your rescue. No one.”
He grins and looks down on Tahlia, like he still doesn’t get what is happening, that he lost. I can picture him with the bullet in his head, but that’s too easy. He doesn’t deserve to die like so easily.
A moment later Hunter comes downstairs, carrying Tequila in his arms.
“Oh dear, oh dear. My old friend Hunter is here with another whore. It’s good to see you, buddy,” Josh cheers, forgetting that Hunter was in the room with me a moment earlier.
“Micah, why the fuck is he still alive? Shoot the bastard. Finish him off,” Hunter says, spitting on the floor.
“Stay out of this, Hunter. I want this piece of shit to tell me first why he murdered Steph. Why did you have to hurt an innocent girl?” I ask through gritted teeth, thinking about ways I can make him suffer.
“You pissed on our friendship; you forgot what I’d done for you for all those years, protecting you from the bullies in school. Besides, I wanted her for myself. I wanted to see what was so special about her silk wet—”
“So you fucking killed her because I was happy? You slit her throat because you couldn’t stand the fact that she chose me?” I cut him off, unable to listen to his cruel words. The memories of Steph are so vivid. “And then you thought that Tahlia was your pet, your slave? So you decided to abuse her, rape her continuously and then kept her in that hole so she kept her mouth shut?”
“She was just a whore, no one important. Her mother was one too. Besides, she was my possession, and I needed to keep myself entertained somehow. When I had Steph in that room that night … oh god, you should have seen her … she almost pissed herself when I showed and then she begged me to spare her life. I had fun, I was en–”
A split second later I’m ready to pull the trigger, to finally get justice for Steph and Tahlia, but then someone else beats me to it, firing the shot and killing the bastard on the spot. Time stops. All I see is Josh falling down on the floor, as the bullet goes straight through his brain, ending his miserable life forever. By the time his body hits the floor I know he is dead.
“Die, you mother fucker, this is for my little sister!” Kiki shrieks at him.
Kiki is standing at the door by the kitchen holding a gun. Her face is puffy, riddled with fury. The shock startles me. I take a step back, trying to get my head around this shit. I have no idea where she came from, but she killed Josh.
By the time I get my bearings and walk up to him, I know that he is done. I glance at Kiki, who is still standing with her gun pointed at me. She stands frozen to the spot, shaking slightly as she processes what just happened. Her mouth is opened in a silent scream and her eyes well up with tears. I see in that moment how she was just as much hi
s victim as the rest of us. I raise my hands and push my legs forward to walk up to her slowly.
“It’s okay, Kiki. You can put it down. He’s dead now,” I say, not knowing what to do or what else to say. Her hands are shaking, and her eyes are wide, scary.
When I’m sure that Kiki is not going to shoot anyone else, I confiscate her gun and kneel over Tahlia, touching her, making sure that she is still alive. My hands are shaking and I’m praying to God for her to be all right. Hunter is talking to me, and Kiki is mumbling words, but I’m blocking them all. Tahlia looks so fragile, lying on the floor naked and abused. This whole thing is finally over. Josh is dead. The man that tormented and abused Tahlia is gone.
I lift Tahlia’s head gently and check the pulse, not paying attention to Kiki or anyone else—she must have followed us after Hunter and I left. There isn’t any other explanation as to why she is here.
Tahlia’s pulse is faint, but it’s still there. My relief comes naturally, but I know this isn’t over yet. The police will want to know what happened, who killed the most wanted man in London, but that doesn’t matter for now. What matters is that Rudolf is gone from this world and he is never going to hurt Tahlia again.
***
12 months later.
Tahlia
The view outside is depressing, but as soon as I see snowflakes falling down from the sky everything changes. The white shiny layers of white fluff will cover the streets soon, transforming the landscape. I instantly know that today is going to be a good day.
Micah should be home soon. His train arrived at the station ten minutes ago. I had a few complex exams a couple of days ago, and it’s been a difficult and exhausting week. On top of that, Tequila has been nagging me to go away with her to Scotland. She keeps saying that she needs to recharge her batteries and I’m due to have a proper break.
A moment later I spot Micah. He appears around the corner of the building, walking towards the house. He notices me standing by the window and waves. Sometimes I still can’t quite believe that we are finally together, that we were given this amazing opportunity to start over.
Love & Hate Series Box Set 2 (3-4) - In Too Deep - Skimming the Surface Page 46