I nodded, as if in agreement. “I will stay … for now.” This was the truth.
I could almost see the gray clouds in his eyes give way to the blue. He smiled and put his arm around me. Laying my head on his shoulder, I lost track of how long we sat like that.
Chapter 38 Copenhagen 1260 A.D
I was more determined than ever to feed without killing, as it could mean that I would be able to return home. It was not long after my first successful feeding that Sonia succeeded as well.
I picked her small frame up and swung her around. I slightly tossed her up and she landed gracefully on her feet with a bow. Elijah and I applauded.
“You did it! Congratulations,” I said.
She beamed with excitement. “Let’s tell Aaron!” She ran off in a blur and we followed.
When we caught up with Sonia she was hugging Aaron’s neck. “I did it; I did it,” she sang.
“Did what?” came a voice behind us.
We turned to find Samuel standing in Aaron’s doorway.
“I fed without killing!” Sonia announced.
“That is not possible.” Samuel issued his usual carefree smile.
“Honestly. Elijah has been teaching us and Val’s done it twice,” Sonia said. “I knew once I saw Val do it, that I could, too. You have to try, Aaron, please! Anyone can do it with practice and we can help you.”
Aaron looked at Sonia in utter disbelief. Then, as if giving in to her enthusiasm, he conceded. “Very well, I will try.”
She squealed and jumped into his arms. She was so endearing. We all chuckled at the newly forming couple — or at least that's what they appeared to be.
“We can teach you as well, Samuel,” Elijah said.
“You are all mad. It is not possible to control yourself while feeding.”
“Let us show you that it is possible,” I said.
He studied us for a moment to make sure we were not joking. “Very well, prove it.”
“This is excellent!” I said. “Elijah’s School for Vampires. Think of the possibilities. We can teach any vampires who are willing.”
I was truly excited about the idea of helping vampires not to kill. How wonderful that would be! But then I remembered home. My mind was made up. As soon as I was ready, I would return.
Elijah opened more mead and we toasted. Elijah looked at Samuel as if realizing he must have come looking for him. “Is something amiss? Does Father need me?”
“No, all is well. Since when do I need a reason to want to see my dearest friend? Someone has been taking up all your time.” Samuel looked pointedly at me. “I was simply missing our old carefree days as bachelors.”
Elijah chuckled. “To carefree days.”
We all raised our chalices, again.
My thoughts strayed. I would miss my new friends. Samuel and Aaron’s blithe natures were contagious. Sonia was so sweet. I felt protective of her and of course Elijah …
Perhaps someday I could return, when I was sure my family was cared for. What does that mean? Dead? I did not like to think too much about the far future, or about not growing older while my family did. It was complicated but I had to make sure my father was taken care of as he aged. I had to return and try to be normal. I would regret it forever if I did not. Forever could be a long time for a vampire.
I had plans to slip away alone. It was only a matter of when. At first, I thought of returning as a nun. But that would not do because, while I had no idea how a human-vampire relationship would fare, I was returning to be with Teller. Or at least I would try to mend things between us. Hopefully he will forgive me for leaving him. I could not deceive myself about this. My chest ached with longing when I thought about him and my pulse quickened at the thought of seeing him again.
I did not know what I would tell everyone back home. I supposed the lie would have to be that I had changed my mind … again — like a silly fickle little girl and that the convent had not worked out. Though the ruse was not ideal, it might be believable.
I stayed with the Chastellain coven for six more months. The winter was brutal — by human standards. The world outside my balcony became a glistening frozen wasteland and there was much less sunlight but we did not mind it in the least. In fact, since the bitter cold did not bother us, this environment was ideal for vampires. Now I understood why they preferred the weather in the North.
By the spring, I was becoming quite skilled at not killing. I could go three weeks in between having to eat. I knew the time was right. I had also been keeping my distance from Elijah. We were still together a good deal but I did not allow myself to be tempted to find comfort in being close to him. No more hand holding, arms over shoulders — that type of closeness.
I spoke to no one of my plans to return home. When Elijah wanted to be closer, I would tell him I needed more time. He seemed pleased, as long as I was around and not talking of going home anymore.
I planned to take two of the most basic gowns I could find out of the large wardrobe the Chastellains had supplied my chambers with and a handful of small provisions. Even these “basic” clothes were too fancy for my poor village. They had been embroidered with thick golden necklines and gold trim, yet they would have to do. The other thing I needed was a hooded cloak for daylight walking. This was the only thing I ever asked Elijah for. Of course, it was outrageously fancy.
They had a human tailor come to the castle from Copenhagen to take my measurements for the cloak. The poor little man was escorted in and out of the castle by two guards — who had recently fed. The tailor most likely thought it was to protect the nobles and their possessions from him but the sentries were actually for his protection.
When the finished cloak arrived, it was nothing like what I had asked for, which was an inexpensive rain cloak made of common leather. Instead, it was made of silk. The hues of purple changed colors with each movement. It was the most beautiful fabric I had ever seen. The finishing touch was a gold trim. How will I explain this regal cloak to the people of Ludus?
Elijah draped it around my shoulders and turned me toward the full-length looking glass in my chambers.
“This is too much! I can’t accept it,” I said.
“You don’t like it?” Elijah asked with concern.
“It is the most beautiful cloak I have ever seen but … it is too extravagant for me. A simple cloak would have sufficed.” Leather was common and cheap, unlike the impossibly soft and thick foreign fabric of this cloak. “Besides, purple is the most difficult dye to make, making it the most expensive and it is illegal. It is meant only for the emperors and empresses of the Eastern Roman Empire.”
Elijah laughed. “You are no longer in the East and that is not the law here. Besides, as vampires we are immune to such trifles.”
What Elijah did not know was that I planned to return to the East. Yet it was highly unlikely that Emperor Michael would discover me wearing purple in Ludus.
He stood behind me, looking over my shoulder in the mirror. His hands were on my shoulders. “It suits you perfectly.” His voice was full of affection.
Too much affection; the guilt was overwhelming. How can I accept this, when my plans are to leave him? I shrugged the cloak off and threw it on the bed.
I would need it to go out during the day as a “human” in Ludus. I would have to have it. This cloak was meant for an empress in winter, not a poor girl in the summer.
“Thank you,” I finally said, swallowing my guilt.
“It is nothing.”
The time came — the time to return home. It was hard to think about leaving my new friends but my excitement at seeing my family and old friends outweighed my trepidations.
The final thing I had to do was leave a note. It read:
My dearest friend Elijah,
I am truly sorry to leave you but I must return home. Please understand and please do not follow me, as I am sure that would not end well for anyone. I wish you the very best in love and happiness. Do not wait for me.
/> Val
I left this on my pillow at dusk and was gone. There was no point in trying to lie to Elijah about where I was going. He knew the only other place I wanted to be was home. I told myself that he would not be overly hurt. Certainly, he would be angry at first but he would soon move on.
In a little over an hour, I was almost home. I landed in the woods surrounding Ludus and was about to walk into the village when it dawned on me, I can’t wander home in the middle of the night on foot. I must think like a human. A young woman would not travel alone … well, ever, let alone at night. I bit my lower lip. What to do?
I would have to go to a neighboring village and hire a cart to take me to Ludus during the day. That was how people traveled and how I would have returned if I had still been human. It had been over ten months since I left home, granted it felt like a lifetime. I had not had to act like a human in quite some time. This would be a difficult adjustment — for everyone.
Chapter 39 Ludus 1261 A.D
I left the forest outside of Ludus and flew to a neighboring town. At first light I found a man who was willing to take me to Ludus by cart.
I opened the small travel bag I had brought and offered him a hand mirror with beautiful gold trim. “I presume there is a lady in your life who would fancy this.” I was sure to raise my voice so he could hear me. I would have to get used to talking loud for humans.
He looked at the mirror with wide eyes. “Are you sure, madam? This is worth more than a ride to Ludus.”
“It isn’t to me.”
“Well, then, let’s get you to Ludus.” He helped me onto the cart bench.
The ride was painfully slow and my stomach twisted with anticipation. How would everyone react to my sudden reappearance? Would they believe my lie? Could I control my thirst, being around people again?
Finally, we arrived at Father’s doorstep in late afternoon. It was comforting to see that the village looked the same. With the hood up for protection I approached my old house. What now? Do I knock or march right in? It had been my home once but so much had changed. I had changed and this tiny home no longer felt like home. Apparently I had not thought of everything. I decided knocking was best.
Father stared at me for a moment as if I were an apparition.
“Father, it is I.”
Another pause. “It is? I can’t believe my eyes, my daughter returned to me! … Josiah, come quickly!”
It felt like heaven when Father hugged me. Tears of joy flowed down my cheeks. I am home! I’d thought that returning home would be impossible but here I am, in my father’s arms again.
He took my hands to lead me inside but recoiled at the touch of my cold skin. “You are freezing, my dear. Come in by the fire before you catch your death.”
I did not feel cold. This was normal for vampires — our permanent temperature. Yet I did not argue as I pretended to warm my hands by the fire. Taking off the outrageous cloak, I placed it over a chair.
Father was thinner than I remembered but other than that he looked largely the same. He must miss my cooking. Perhaps he is thinner because he has gone without my famous jam tarts. I smiled at the thought, though it did make me feel guilty for not being able to be here to care for him.
Josiah came racing down the stairs at the urgency in Father’s voice. He did not look as surprised as Father had. Unlike Father, Josiah looked very different. He stood taller than I, a good deal taller. He was not a boy anymore but a handsome young man. My heart swelled with pride.
He ran to embrace me.
“I told you she was well, Father.” Josiah looked at me and added, “I knew you would return.”
I gave him a warm smile and another hug.
He shivered. “You had better stay by that fire, sister, or you will catch a cold.”
Lesson number one. I was going to have to refrain from hugging. I had not fully realized how much colder we were than humans.
“Where were you? Did you marry that young lord? Why didn’t you write?” Josiah started in with the burning questions.
“Be easy, son; there is time. Let her tell us about her … adventure at her own pace. What is important is that she is safe and she is home.”
“I appreciate that, Father. It is wonderful to be home! However, you have every right to know where I was, so I do not mind the questions.” I wanted to get the lying over with as quickly as possible. I sat down by the fire and started reciting what I had rehearsed. At least this much I had prepared for.
“I traveled to a convent in Constantinople. I studied and worked with the Sisters of the Church. It was wonderful and peaceful at first, no worries or concerns. But in the end, I could not do it. I missed home too much.” There, I said it. Hopefully, they would believe this story.
“So you are home to stay?” Josiah asked.
“Yes.” I hoped.
“I thought perhaps you returned for my wedding.”
“Your wedding!” I stood. “You are getting married?”
“Yes, Sarah and I will marry on midsummer’s eve.”
“That is … wonderful news.” I gave him a brief hug this time and resisted the urge to pick him up off the ground — which, of course, as a human I would not have been able to do.
When we settled down, Josiah’s face fell. “You still could have written.”
The look on his face cracked my heart into two pieces. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt the little brother who had always been there for me. “Leaving was difficult and writing home was too painful,” I said.
This was true. At first I did not know if I would ever be able to return, so putting home as far behind me as possible was best for everyone. Besides, the only thing I could have written were lies. “I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Well, don’t do that to us again,” Josiah said.
I nodded in agreement. This was a difficult promise to make. I would try not to leave them again. That was the best I could do.
“My spring flower returns in the spring,” Father declared. “We must have a town gathering to celebrate your safe return. Josiah, run and get Teller, will you, my dear boy? He needs to know that our Vallachia is safely back.”
Josiah ran out the door.
My heart leapt up into my throat. I had to sit back down to stop myself from trembling. Does he still want me? I panicked as the thought occurred to me for the first time — what if he was engaged to someone else? He could have given up on me and rightfully so. Breathe, I told myself. All will be well.
As always, Father seemed to understand my thoughts and knew exactly what to say. “Don’t worry, my dear. Perhaps if I am lucky, both my children will marry this summer.”
My first thought was one of joy. Teller still loves me! Doubt crept in. Can this work? A marriage between two different … creatures? There was only one way to find out. This was one of the reasons why I had come back. I smiled at Father but surely he could tell I was still nervous.
Chapter 40 Ludus 1261 A.D
Teller’s large frame appeared in the doorway of my Father’s home. He was much more muscular and a bit taller than when I had seen him last. He also looked … older. All traces of boyishness were gone. He was even more beautiful than I remembered. I was overcome with longing. I moved toward him. His bright green eyes looked as if they were filled with relief at seeing me. They quickly turned dark. I remembered those eyes. They reminded me of his father’s, full of anger. This was enough to stop my approach. Terrible memories of his father’s fury came flooding back.
Neither of us spoke. Josiah shifted uncomfortably.
“Where is your husband?” Teller broke the awkward silence. He looked around as if he expected to find someone else in the home.
“Husband?” I was momentarily confused. It took a split second to realize what he meant.
“She has been in a convent in Constantinople. That denotes abstinence,” Father said.
Teller rounded on Adam. “Do you think I don’t know that,” he snappe
d.
I stepped forward — I hoped not too quickly — to intervene if need be. I was not about to allow anyone to hurt my father.
Teller turned to me. “Do you actually expect us to believe that rubbish? You in a convent?” His tone was mocking.
My heart raced and I could feel my cheeks flush with anger. “What is that supposed to mean? That I am not virtuous enough to become a nun!” I took a deep breath to calm myself. “Besides, if I had been married and I assume you mean to Elijah, then I would not have left town.”
My family looked at me with wide eyes. I was not the same timid girl who had left here last summer. I was stronger and no one was going to push me around, not even the man I loved.
Confusion flashed through Teller’s eyes, yet he managed to keep his expression stern.
It was Father who spoke. “My dear, Lord Chastellain and his son are back in Denmark. They left town at the same time you did. That is why Teller … and others, were convinced that you had run off with the young lord. It does make sense, you see.”
“They left?” I tried to sound as if this were news.
“Tell her the rest of the story.” Teller spoke through clinched teeth.
Josiah and Father exchanged a wary look.
I was already growing tired of the lies. I knew what was coming and I had to pretend I did not. It is time to find out how good of an actress I am.
“You see, my dear,” Father started slowly, “the night you left, Luka and our healer Sofia were killed.”
I sat down in a chair and put my head in my hands. That horrible night swam through my head. I was truly sorry they were dead. “By whom?” I finally asked. It seemed like the thing to say.
“By your precious nobleman, lord-whatever his name is,” Teller spat.
I had never seen him like this. It made me question everything. Perhaps I should not have come back. I had had enough. I stood and approached Teller. Don’t lose control, I warned myself.
Of Lords and Commoners: Book 1 (Lords and Commoners Series) Page 17