"Okay Princess," I growled, feeling that tight hot thing pacing inside of my chest. "You want to use me to get off? I can get you off a lot better than that."
She sagged and I lifted her easily. In three steps I had her lying on her bed, her dress hitched up around her waist, her hairs splayed out in halo on the pillow.
The more I pushed her, more she seemed want. My heart was thundering in my chest, like a caged animal trying to break free. I had to remind myself who I was with. This was Brynn, after all. She'd always been easygoing, eager to please. I needed to make sure she wasn't agreeing to things she didn't want to do, just to make me happy. It would kill me if I pushed her too far.
But at the same time, I wondered just how far she truly was willing to go. I knew myself. I needed trust first. I needed to know I was someone she would trust her body to...
I knew how to do that.
"Spread your legs for me, Brynn," I told her, pressing my hands inside of her thighs. "Wider. I want to see you."
She rocked from side to side, making this small little whining noise that was driving me crazy. I shoved her thighs open, rougher than I wanted to be. She was driving me crazy with possibility.
"Get that dress off," I told her. "I want to see all of you."
She bit her lip and reached back to her zipper, but she was moving too slowly for me. I batted her hand away and yanked the zipper down, hearing the fabric tear and not giving a fuck. I pulled the dress over her head and she lifted her arms, willing and ready, and fuck I was starting to lose it for this girl...
That first taste of her was purely selfish and all for me. I slid my tongue all over her, tasting what I was doing to her, how wet I was making her, and I groaned against her when I felt how slick she'd become.
When she moaned and reached out to sink her fingers into my hair, I had to battle the urge to bat her hands away and pin her down again. This wasn't about what I wanted. Not yet anyway. Perhaps in time.
For all I knew, she really was just using me to get off. I had to be okay with that.
The dark desires I kept hidden meant that I was never with one woman for very long. How could I be when the things I wanted were so at odds with the person I tried to be? The man I tried to be?
The lover I tried to be?
Familiar shame flooded the back of my throat and I did the only thing I could do. I covered the taste of it with the taste of her.
Fuck, maybe this was for myself, because even though I could feel her coming over and over again, I couldn't stop devouring her. I stayed there between her legs, sliding my tongue deep inside of her, tasting her secret places before moving up, swirling around her clit to make her crazy all over again. "Too much... too much..." she was moaning, but I wasn't stopping, and her fingers still held my hair, holding me to that same place over and over again.
When I felt her shuddering and starting to arch again for the — what was it? Sixth? Seventh? — time, I pulled back. My lips and jaw were slick with her, but now I needed to taste her mouth.
I grabbed her hands from my hair and pressed them to the mattress, pinning her under me again before I slid my tongue against hers. She met my kiss with such wild abandon I almost went down on her again out of sheer gratitude. My cock was a diamond, straining against the fabric of my boxers. I knew that the moment I slid inside of her, I wouldn't last long, because I'd already tasted how hot and tight she was.
I knelt back and grabbed my wallet from my pocket, sliding out that foil wrapper and holding it above her gaze. "You tell me what you want," I told her. My whole body was vibrating with the strain of holding back, fighting the desire to let those darker desires free. Fuck, the way she was lying there, looking up at me — her hands still splayed outward where I had pressed them into the mattress holding her down — I felt like I had gone past the boiling point and was starting to smoke.
Brynn bit her lip, that gorgeous little telltale indecision. I waited, holding my breath. "You tell me how far you want to take this," I said again. I was already farther than I'd ever thought possible.
"I want it," she finally said, punctuating that declaration with a firm little nod.
I battered down the part of me that wanted to roar in triumph, and instead bent to kiss her. "Tell me what you want," I told her, no, begged her, drawing my lips along her jaw to whisper in her ear. "Tell me exactly."
"I want you to fuck me," she said in a desperate little squeak. "My God, please, whatever, I'll beg if I have to."
I pulled back and couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Then beg," I ordered her.
Her eyes darkened, whether with anger or desire, I couldn't tell, but I liked the way she looked there. I liked the way the red marks of my fingerprints marked her peachy skin around her wrists. If I closed my eyes, I could see those pink lines crisscrossing her body in a beautiful lacework pattern, delicate and gorgeous and...
I snapped my eyes open to see her staring me down. "Please," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Please fuck me, Rett."
That was all I needed.
I yanked my pants down and unrolled the condom onto my dick, watching her watch me. Her chest rose and fell in tight, rapid breaths. The way her peachy nipples drew into tight little rosebuds had me stroking myself even before I pressed my tip against her entrance. "You're using me to get off," I said again. I wasn't sure why I kept reminding her that she said that. Maybe it was to keep myself under control, remind myself that this was all about her.
And it worked, pulling me back from the point of no return, so that when I slid inside of that heat, I didn't immediately lose control.
"You want it fast and rough baby?" I asked her, driving myself deep inside of her. "Or slow and deep? What do you want, Brynn? Tell me how you want me to fuck you."
Her eyelids fluttered, and her head lolled back. She didn't answer me, but then again, I supposed I didn't need an answer. If this was nothing more than a booty call, if it wasn't anything deeper, I could close off those parts of myself that wanted so badly to show themselves.
With a frustrated growl, I bent down and took her nipple into my mouth. Looking up at her, I thrust into her slowly, biting down until I saw her eyes go wide, then pulled back. The way the blood flowed back in to the mark I made...
I lost control again.
"Fuck!" I growled, grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head with one hand, my other hand sliding underneath the small of her back, arching her up to me so that I could fuck her at a better, deeper angle. Her eyes went wide with surprise — but maybe that wasn't surprise at all, because she threw her head back, exposing the length of her neck to me and when I sank my teeth into her skin, she only moaned all the louder.
"Fuck, Brynn, you're going to ruin me," I murmured.
An answering moan escaped her lips, and then dissolved into a whimper. Then it became a yell as I drove even deeper. She bucked, rising up against where I was holding her down and the noise that tore from my throat nearly drowned out the sounds she was making. Then she opened her mouth in a full throated scream, shaking her head from side to side like she was trying to deny how good this felt.
Holy fuck, did it feel good. I felt her pussy clench around me and even though I wanted to do this forever — hold her down, make her scream — the sheer exultation of it made me throw my head back, and suddenly I was coming too, a blinding orgasm so intense that the corners of my sight grew dim.
When our heavy breathing subsided, I looked down at her. She was wide-eyed and wild looking, breathlessly gasping, her whole face flushed crimson. I stared at her, searching for the answer to a question I didn't want to give words to.
For a long time, she just stared back at me, meeting my gaze, holding it. Completely unafraid.
I wanted to ask her, what? What is it about you? And I was about to do just that, when she opened her mouth.
"Stay?" she pleaded.
My question died on my lips and I nodded. Because what else was I going to do except whatever this g
irl wanted?
Chapter Seventeen
Brynn
I had no idea what had just happened between us.
And I knew I'd have no prayer of figuring it out if he left now.
"Stay?" I asked again, even though he was already doing just that, settling down next to me. I turned to my side, fitting myself into the curve of his body and he reached down to yank up the covers.
After the way he'd just fucked me, with raw, ragged desperation in his eyes, it was almost jarring to realize he was still the same Rett. He sat up and pulled the covers over me — gently tucking them around me so that no part of my body was exposed — before settling back down and kissing my shoulder.
At the moment there was no sound but the quiet sip of his breath, but my ears still rang with the sound of his groans, his growls and his filthy words. And my own cries mingled in there, the desperate ragged gasps that I couldn't stop making even if I'd tried.
And I hadn't tried. I hadn't held back, not even a little. I should have been embarrassed over letting him see me lose it that way, but instead I was quietly... proud? Was I... relieved? That I had shown myself, all of myself to someone, without worrying about being a bother or a nag, and he'd accepted it? No, more than accepted it, he had fucking celebrated it. Everything I'd asked for, he'd done, and done with relish.
I wanted to ask for even more.
What the hell was this?
Who the hell was I?
Who the hell was he?
I tensed and slid my hand over his. He made a muffled, sleepy sound against my neck and pulled me closer. "You good?" he mumbled against my skin.
I closed my eyes and took stock of myself. My pussy was still throbbing, a steady bass beat. My skin was electrified where he'd nipped, licked and kissed it. Every cell was alive. I felt... amazing.
"Yeah," I choked, reaching down for his hand and pulling it upward. "I'm good," I said as I brushed my lips across his knuckles.
He inhaled sharply and rolled over, pressing his body against mine again. I was sore and aching, but the second I felt the brush of him hardening against my thigh that ache started up again. I arched against him, parting my lips to swirl my tongue against his. He still tasted like me, and maybe it was that realization that made me wrap my legs around him again.
He pulled back, "Condom?" he rasped.
"You're ready already?"
He looked down to where his cock was brushing against me. "I'm always ready for you, Brynn." Laying down a trail of sucking kisses against my skin, he inhaled sharply. "I've fucking been ready."
There was still that danger, that barely contained tremor in his voice. Promising me something more. And though I was exhausted and frayed and nearly delirious from what we had done, that promise of more spurred me on again, forcing a downward rush that left me breathless. "Nightstand," I gasped. "Top drawer."
He knelt up above me and leaned over and I bit my lip to see him over me like some kind of massive sculpture in my bed. "Let me," I said, closing my hand over his.
He looked down and his eyes were nearly black again. He reached out, hesitated, seemingly at war with himself. His hand trembled there in midair for one moment before he snaked it around my head and pulled me to him.
The second my tongue met his tip, his hips jerked. I could feel the tension in his hand, holding the back of my head. I expected him to move me, to direct me. He was pretty fucking bossy in the bedroom, that much I'd realized.
But instead, he closed his fist, catching a handful of my hair and holding me fast. I couldn't bob my head, or really move at all.
I looked up at him, confused. His cock was right there, so hard it looked impossible. But he didn't thrust it into my mouth, no matter how ready I was to taste it. I licked my lips and he responded with a guttural growl. "Fuck, you really are going to ruin me," he hissed.
It was the second time he'd said it, and even though I had no idea what he meant, I knew it meant something to him. He was trembling too hard for it to be anything otherwise.
Still holding me fast by the hair, he arched his hips forward, just barely brushing the silky head of his cock across my lips. I flicked my tongue out, making him hiss again. "Unwrap it," he ordered me, throwing the condom on the bedspread, still holding me tight.
I squirmed a little and managed to grab it. My hands were trembling so badly that I had to use my teeth, but I got it open, then fumbled to put it on him. He closed his fist over mine, rolling it down his length, then he jerked my head back.
His kiss was hot, almost searing. I gasped a muffled noise into his mouth before he pressed me back onto the bed.
I expected him to climb on top of me again, to fuck me like the wild thing he'd become. When he settled behind me, I looked over my shoulder, confused.
"Put your leg over me, there like that, yes. I want to hold you, Brynn." I felt him pressing against my entrance from behind. My sore pussy throbbed, and I was so wet that he slid partway in. His hand snaked up between my breasts to settle lightly around my throat. I swallowed to feel him hold me there, feeling so vulnerable but also strangely cherished.
When he pushed himself all the way inside of me, we both moaned aloud. His other hand snaked around me, catching my arms and crossing them together, holding them both fast in one hand while with the other he held me by the throat. Once more he had me completely pinned and at his mercy, leaving me unable to do anything but feel what he was doing to me.
And what he was doing to me… "Shit," I moaned as he fucked me, deep and slow. I was breathless and exhausted and completely wrung out, but when he slid inside of me in that slow rhythm, I felt myself start to tremble again. "Oh fuck," I choked, helpless against the sensation.
"Shit," he hissed, nipping at my shoulder. I felt the sting of his mouth biting down and it was like something inside of me snapped.
I don't think I have ever come so hard in my life. I fizzed and shattered, I melted and exploded. Colors swam in my vision and all the while Rett was urging me on, whispering in my ear as I felt him swelling inside of me. "You're going to fucking ruin me, girl. I'm not... I can't..."
I strained to hear what it was he couldn't do, but his voice choked off into a hoarse shout. I felt him twitch inside of me before he curled his entire body around mine, thrusting so deep that I gasped.
He shuddered once, and then twice, then clutched me even tighter as he sighed and let his arms fall away.
All at once I shivered and reached for him again. He pushed up on his elbow, looking at me. His eyes darted all over as if he was really trying to see me without saying a word, and for once I was content to not try filling the silence.
I'm not sure if he saw what he was looking for. But he settled back down behind me and pulled me tight to him, and in that moment I really hoped he did.
Chapter Eighteen
Everett
As tempting as it was to stay in Brynn's bed — holding her tight as she slept — I knew how it'd be in the morning. She'd avoid me, ducking away from my eyes and everything would be ruined.
I knew I needed to give her space to absorb what had happened between us last night, so I quietly slipped out of her house in the early morning, before she could wake up and hate me.
I walked out to my car, still parked at a wild angle at the base of her driveway. Somehow it didn't seem right to head back home again and pretend everything was normal. So I headed for the only place in town that would be open at this hour.
Bob and Lou's diner was in institution. A few years back, some travel magazine had declared it one of America's best small-town diners, and it subsequently became overrun for a few years with tourists. Bob and Lou themselves cashed out, leaving their beloved diner and fleeing to Florida, leaving the place in the capable hands of a formidable Greek by the name of Spiro Yannas. Spiro wasn't one for courting mentions in travel magazines or giving interviews, but he knew his way around a menu. As the hype died down, the menu got better and slowly, Bob and Lou's was returned to us, the people
who actually lived in this town.
I pulled up to a spot right by the window, and headed inside. I gave a smile to Charlie, the blonde hostess behind the counter. "You're working early this morning," I said.
"Always," she sighed, then she sort of straightened up and did this weird thing where she tossed her mass of blond curls behind her shoulder. "Is that your car outside, Everett?" she asked me as she led me to my table.
I blinked at her. "You saw me come in," I said.
"It's nice," she said, leaning over a little too far over to hand me my menu. I had almost no choice but to stare directly down her shirt. "It must've cost quite a lot, huh?" she trilled.
I looked down and studied my menu as she poured my coffee. Charlie was a nice girl, and I'd known her forever, but there was no disguising what she was up to. This sort of halfhearted flirting, I encountered it from time to time from girls who wanted to trade their attention for my money.
Last night, Brynn and I had joked about using each other. But after lying next to her all night, listening to her breathe while ignoring my raging hard on, it didn't feel like that was what we were doing anymore.
"It's a fine car," I finally said to Charlie.
"Maybe you could pick me up in it sometime?"
I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide and hopeful, but her smile was tight. And I could tell that she really didn't have her heart in it.
Something in me had changed last night. I couldn’t say what it was, but it made me do something completely out of character. Charlie was startled when I leaned forward and grabbed her hand, but then again so was I.
"Charlie," I told her. "You're beautiful." I meant it sincerely. "And someone will be lucky to have you. But not me. I'm not the right guy okay?"
She blinked slowly, and I saw her shoulders stiffen. I pressed my lips together and inhaled sharply. Too much, I told myself. You showed your hand. You gave too much away.
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