by TC Matson
“Maybe there’s a certain reason you haven’t settled down.” By her tone, it’s evident she’s talking about Blake. She’s always wanted us together. Said we were destined for each other since birth.
“Momma.” I sigh. “He and I are ancient news. History. We broke each other’s hearts and that hurt built pretty high walls. Besides, I’m always working and have no time for a committed relationship. I’m busy making a name for myself, setting up a future. Not because of Blake.” It’s a half-truth. I don’t want a serious relationship because of the scars Blake left… and I know it. The residue of the heartbreak is a constant reminder of how fragile my heart truly is.
“He still looks at you like you hang the stars, you know.”
“Don’t go getting any ideas.” I give her a stern look. “There’s nothing between us. We’ve always had a good friendship and that’s all we are.”
She hums, suppressing a smile, but drops the subject. And just in time too. Because minutes later, Blake and Dad stride into the backyard.
“Hey, babe,” Dad says and gives Momma a kiss. “Finally getting around to it. Huh?”
Momma stands up and dusts off her hands. “Figured I would spoil myself with mother and daughter time.”
Blake’s eyes rake over my body as I stand. “Dirty looks good on you, Kota,” he says my nickname like he would lick an ice cream cone—smooth and with pure enjoyment.
“Momma said she needed help.”
The corner of his lips quirk up into a smile that causes my stomach to dip and makes my brain short circuit. It’s warm and charming, and damn if it doesn’t do crazy things inside of me.
“Well, you ladies have fun. We’re going to get started,” Dad says squeezing my shoulder and kissing my hair as he walks away with Blake.
Momma bumps me with her hip and hums softly. “And looks like he still hangs your moon.”
Ripping my gaze off Blake’s backside, I snap my head to her, meeting her sweet as pie smile before she bends to her knees and continues cleaning out the garden again.
Blake Helms used to hang my moon. He used to be my everything, but now, he’s just a sexy man to look at. Nothing will ever happen between us. He lives here. I live in California. He broke my heart. I broke his. All we share is a past. He’ll never know how much of my heart he still owns, even if it is tainted with hatred for him.
* * *
An hour passes with the sun beating down on us. Momma went in the house to grab some cold waters for everyone and took the guys theirs first. Peeking over at them, I can’t help but take in Blake. Sweat glistens on the skin of his arms as he reaches up and takes off his ballcap to wipe the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. He tucks it back onto his head before grabbing the bottle from Momma and taking a long pull from it. His smile is easy, his chuckle deep and sexy. He spins around to go back to work when Dad gives Momma a kiss, and when he does, he busts me gawking. Quickly, I avert my gaze and gather the pile of debris, tossing it into the wheel barrel. It may be hot outside, but being caught has my cheeks burning red.
I’m able to ignore him, albeit a few quick glimpses here and there, for the next thirty minutes while Momma and I talk about random things. I’ve missed our mother-daughter talks. They’re mostly about nothing but everything altogether—from the vegetables to sharing stories about Granny.
“You got any plans tonight?” Blake’s deep voice startles me and I jump, dropping the pile of weeds. Blake laughs as he bends down to pick them up. And all I do is stare at him like a deer in headlights. “You got any plans tonight?” he repeats, dusting his hands on his pants.
“I, ummm…” Shit. Nerves ricochet through me. Damn Momma for putting thoughts into my head.
“Leo’s having a bonfire tonight. I’m sure lots of old friends will be there. Figured you might like to play catch up.”
“Momma, you got any plans for me tonight?”
She lifts her head like she’s pretending she wasn’t listening. “No. Why?”
“Blake wants to take me to a bonfire.”
“Go right on,” she dismisses me with a wave of her hand. “Spend some time with friends. Your daddy and I will probably sit out here anyway.”
“Where does Leo live?” I ask Blake.
“How ’bout I come pick you up around eight and you just ride with me?”
“Sure. I guess I’ll see you at eight then.”
He licks his lips and I just about die right there in Momma’s garden. “Leave the city out of your outfit tonight.”
Once he tells my parents goodbye, he leaves and my wild thoughts take off. Did Blake just ask me on a date? Or is this a friend thing? Shit. Damn. Crap. This is my mother’s fault. I didn’t have any of these worries until she opened her big ol’ mouth.
Chapter Sixteen
Blake
Lights from the fire dance all over Dakota’s body as she talks to a few old friends across the field. When I told her to leave the city out of her outfit tonight, I never expected her to deliver so damn perfectly. And boy did she deliver. Straps of dark purple fabric crisscross over her chest, the tank top showing off how round and perfect her breasts are. She’s wearing her hair down, the chestnut tendrils flowing over her shoulders. Her jean shorts show off her long, smooth, delectable legs all the way down to her boots—the ones I bought her. She’s not wearing much makeup either. She’s never needed to. She’s naturally beautiful.
Everything I ever imagined and fantasized about holds absolutely nothing to the real image I’m seeing. She’s incredibly beautiful and smoking ass hot.
“You two seem to be doing better.” Leo leans his arm over the bed of my truck, joining me.
“We talked.”
“Does that mean y’all are going to try and work things out? Blake and Kota back together?”
Puffing a breath out my nose at his first reaction, I shake my head. “No. We’re just friends.”
“You want to fuck your friend.”
I cut my eyes to him and he jerks his hands up laughing.
“If only you could see the way you’re looking at her.”
“She’s beautiful. Of course I’m looking. But she lives in California and will be leaving soon. I’m not going to set myself up for that.”
“Right…” he draws out. “Because you won’t be heartbroken all over again just because you’re friends. I’ll place a bet right now that when she leaves, you’ll be pissed at yourself for not trying to convince her to stay… like you should have when you were eighteen.” He slaps my shoulder. “I’m gonna get a beer.”
My gaze slides back to Dakota again just as she laughs at something Ashley said. Would I be pissed at myself for not trying? It’s true I hated myself for not chasing her down and trying harder to keep her home. I had no way of knowing she was going to up and leave, forever disappearing. And when I did find her again, she was with someone. Took everything I had to walk away, but walk away I did.
“Hey, Blake,” Ally purrs, sidling up beside me.
She and I have been on again off again casual fuck buddies for years. She doesn’t expect anything from me except orgasms, and she knows I want just the same. It’s worked for us for a long time. I take a sip of my beer and then look down at her. “Hey, Ally.”
“It’s good to see Dakota again. Huh? You and her…” She leaves the real question she wants to ask hanging in midair.
“Why does everyone think because she’s in town something is going on between us?”
Ally’s dainty little eyebrow raises. “Because we all know the history between you two.”
I’m beginning to feel like a broken record. “She’s got a life in California and I have mine here. We’re nothing more than friends.”
That must appease her because she takes a step closer, running a finger down my back with her tits pressed up against my side. “Well then, if that’s the case, you feel like having some fun tonight? I’m sure you’ll need to get some things off your mind.”
That�
��s another thing about Ally. When we first started fucking, she knew my heart was still with Dakota, even after she’d been gone for a year. Ally knew the deal. I needed an escape, a way to stop myself from thinking about Dakota so damn much, even if it was just for a few hours. Eventually, after five years, Dakota wasn’t front and center anymore and Ally latched on to that. She’s never pushed me for more, but I see it in her eyes. I know she wants it. But I’ve remained solid of the fact that I don’t.
My lips tic. “I brought her here. Wouldn’t be nice to leave with you and make her find a ride home.”
“Then I’ll meet you back at your place later.”
The idea sounds tempting…
Since Dakota’s come back into town, I’ve been sleeping like shit because, yet again, she’s on my mind all the damn time. And I sure as hell haven’t had a release outside of jacking off in the shower. Although I do enjoy spending time with Ally and I’m sure I’d sleep great after, my gut instincts warn me against it.
“We could watch a movie if you prefer,” she adds.
A laugh thunders out of me, and I twist my body to face her. “You throw yourself at me and then offer a movie? Come on, Ally. We’ve danced this line a lot. No use in making it out to be something it’s not.”
Hazel eyes glitter in the moonlight and she grins. “Alright then. Feel like fuck—”
“Hey, Ally.”
My gaze swings from Ally and lands on Dakota’s narrowed eyes and fake smile. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I see jealousy.
Ally smiles although it’s laced with contempt. “Hey, Dakota. It’s good to see you back. I’m sorry to hear about Granny. I’m going to miss seeing her around.”
“Thanks,” Dakota says with no emotion.
As Ally places a hand on my arm and leans in closer, Dakota homes in on it, instantly creating a stormy chaos in her eyes. When Ally gives my arm a gentle squeeze, I finally glance down to her smiling sweetly up to me. “I’m gonna go get another drink. I’ll catch up with you later. Let me know about tonight.”
Dakota is flush, pale, and looks like she wants to puke. She lifts herself onto my open tailgate, her fingers tapping the edge. “You and Ally a thing?”
“On and off,” I tell her the truth although my chest squeezes so tight it’s painful.
She flinches slightly, her legs quit swinging, and taps her fingers harder… faster. “Ally? Really? You can do better than her. Don’t get me wrong. She’s a pretty girl, but from what I hear, she’s the same Ally she was all those years ago. Never going anywhere. Just waiting on a man to take care of her.”
Joining her, I jump up on the tailgate beside her. “I know I can do better, and I know what I deserve. Who says I want to settle down with her?”
“You want a woman whose hope is to find a man to take care of her instead of an independent woman?”
“Maybe I don’t want someone who’s going anywhere.” It was a low blow and I know it, but it’s the truth all the same.
Dakota’s eyes fill with something I can’t place and she sighs. “You’re so handsome, Blake. You should find someone who makes you happy, someone to enjoy life with. Not just to fulfill a night.”
For a second, I wonder how she’d react to me telling her she still has my damn heart in the palm of her hand, even after all these years. How sleeping with Ally makes me forget for just a moment. Does she realize she destroyed me so badly I haven’t moved on? I can’t, even if I want to.
“And you’re still as gorgeous as ever, Kota. Why haven’t you found someone who makes you happy and settled down with them?” Surely, it’s not the same reason as me…
“I told you. I work too much. I’m focused on me.” She’s lying. It’s in the bored way she says it and now, I’m really wondering if it’s the same reason as me.
“As do I.” I smile at her.
She tips her chin toward where Ally just walked off. “If you want to leave with her, I can find a ride home. I don’t want to interfere with whatever is going on.”
I bark a laugh, tipping my head back. “How’d that taste across your tongue?”
Catching her lip between her teeth, she grins and shakes her head.
“I came with you. I leave with you,” I tell her over the rim of my beer.
She reaches over and snatches it from my hand, taking a long pull before handing it back to me. It causes me to chuckle under my breath. She used to do the same thing back when we were younger. You’d never catch her with a drink in her hand because she claimed that way there was no proof she drank anything at all. Even though she’d drink most of mine… every time. I never complained. I always thought that quirk of hers was cute.
“Kota and Blake?” Waylon, one of Cash’s old buddies stops in his tracks, frozen like a deer in headlights. Eyes just as wide too. He blinks between us. “Surely I’m seeing things.” He looks to the red solo cup in his hand. “What in the world did they put in my drink?”
“Hey, Waylon,” Dakota beams with a giggle.
“I’ll be damned. If it’s not Dakota Jayne in the flesh. How the hell are you, girl?” He gives her a hug and takes a stumbling step back.
“I’m good. How are you?”
He looks to me, looks to Dakota, looks back to me, and then back to Dakota. Then he leans a little closer to her. “I know I’ve had several strong drinks tonight, but I could swear Blake Helms is sitting right beside you,” he tries to whisper.
Dakota laughs. “He is.”
A smile splits across Waylon’s face. “Please tell me y’all have worked things out and the wedding of the century will be downtown for all to celebrate soon.”
There go her fingers again.
“Just friends,” I dive into the fire with her. “She’ll be heading back home soon.”
“Well, shit,” he sighs. “I’m pretty sure the whole town was rootin’ for y’all.” He throws Dakota another hug. “It’s good to see you again. I’d stay but I brought a date and she’s waiting for me.” He waggles his brows. “Don’t be a stranger. Come around more often.”
Just as he leaves, Dakota grabs my beer and takes a huge gulp. “Think I need a drink,” she declares and pops off the tailgate. “I’ll bring you another since I drank all of yours.”
Chapter Seventeen
Dakota
I’m tipsy. Not drunk, but enough alcohol is coursing through me to know if I needed to drive, I’d hope Uber is close. It’s been an hour since Waylon bombarded my thoughts with what married life would’ve been like with Blake. Since then, several people have stopped me and given me shots “for old time’s sake.” After the fourth shot, I made my way back to Blake and joined him on the tailgate where he’s keeping my thoughts occupied by filling me in on different people here.
“Dakota!” Ashley calls my name with a slur. She took the shots I turned down. “Dylan won’t dance with me,” she whines, sticking her bottom lip out with a pout. “Come on. I know you will.”
Without giving me a chance to answer, she snatches my hand, jerks me off the truck, and hauls me toward the area where other people are dancing. Laughing as I stumble, I glance over my shoulder and catch Blake watching me like he used to. With dark brown eyes full of desire, his lips are curled up at the sides with his dimple showing.
Shit. Maybe I’m tipsier than I thought.
“Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” by Luke Bryan blasts from the speakers and Ashley screams, throwing her hands up in the air and spinning around to me. The music moves me, acting like a drug I can’t get enough of. My hips sway, and my body rolls. I feel alive, more than I have in a long damn time. We’re all grins and laughter as we dance together. The chorus hits and we shake our asses with our arms held up high. I know we look like idiots, cutting up together, but damn if we’re not having a blast.
The song changes, transitioning into the next one, and Ashley loses her mind over it, screaming her elation. Again, she grasps my hand, not allowing me to catch my breath or escape this madness—not that I r
efute too hard. This feels good. I feel good. It feels great just letting loose and not giving a damn about how I look. No corporate people to judge me. Just a bunch of country folks who don’t give a damn.
Finally, the song ends and the next is slower. Before I can leave, Ashley throws her arms around my shoulders, and like old times, we slow dance. “I’ve missed you a lot,” she slurs, breathlessly. “I need your phone number before you leave again. Just because you’re hours away doesn’t mean I can’t talk to you weekly. Hell, even daily.”
“I’d love that,” I tell her, meaning it. “And I’ve missed you too.”
“Why didn’t you ever call me?”
“I don’t know. I guess because I was scared you’d try talking me into coming back to town.”
She grins sloppily. “I definitely would’ve tried. I was so mad at you, but I got over it. I knew you’d be home one day and I would ream you out then.”
I laugh.
“I’m happy for you. Really. I am. You went out and did what most of us are scared to do. You made your dreams come true. That’s something to be super proud of even though I know it had to be hard.”
Just then, Blake pops up at our side with Dylan right beside him. Ashley giggles and goes straight into her husband’s arms, stumbling, which causes her to crash into his chest. “Whoopsie,” she bubbles.
Another slow song comes on and Blake grasps my hand, pulling me into his chest. “Dance with me. The song’s fittin’.”
With nerves scattering through the alcohol in my veins, I listen to the words. Blake sways us—me in his arms once again—and it shouldn’t feel this wonderful. It shouldn’t feel this… right. After a few seconds, the lyrics launch me into a grin. “Rumor” by Lee Brice is a song about a girl and a guy having rumors going around about them that stir up the town. He’s right. It’s perfect.
Smiling up to him, I ask, “You still sing?”
The fingers drawing circles on my back freeze. He frowns and shakes his head. “Haven’t sung in years.”