by TC Matson
“She doesn’t seem too happy,” Momma says, her tone filled with amusement, and it brings me back.
“It’s Blake,” I say blinking back to her. “You know he’s infuriating.”
“Think it has anything to do with you?”
My nose scrunches up. “Why would it have anything to do with me?”
“It’s none of my business, but I can see the way you two look at each other. I assumed you and him are—”
“Friends,” I interrupt with a slight bite. “Just friends.”
She laughs under her breath. “Anyone with eyes can tell you there’s still love there.”
“Of course, there is. There will always be love, but there’s also a lot of hate. We broke each other’s hearts.”
“You two had a strong love, one that never dies. You’d be a fool to walk away from that again. You’ll search your entire life trying to match it and never succeed. You’ll end up settling for less than you deserve.”
I am sick and tired of hearing things like this—the constant reminder of how in love we once were and how our hearts belong to one another. It’s driving me crazy and screwing up my head, something I don’t need. My life is in California.
Deciding it’s not worth arguing with her about, I pull a fifty out of my wallet and toss it on the table, knowing it’ll be over a thirty-dollar tip. “Let’s go shopping.” I stand, tugging my purse over my shoulder.
Conversation officially dropped. For the next few hours, we shop for clothes, flowers, and random things, even stopping to have ice cream. I’ve missed these things the most and at times like this, I doubt home is in California.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Blake
Rhett studies me, his brown eyes hard with a crease between them. “Are you sure you really want to do this? What if it doesn’t go well?”
I just told him I was taking the rest of the day and tomorrow off. “Then it’ll go tits up. She won’t be here for long and I can’t let her leave without a last-ditch effort.” I scratch the back of my neck, knowing this is completely asinine. “I went eleven years wishing for a chance like this. Haunted by the what-ifs. I gotta try. I gotta see.”
“How are you going to feel if it goes tits up, brother? You’ll be heartbroken all over again.”
“If it does, this time I’ll know. Those what ifs will be gone and I’ll have some closure.”
He lets out a long, drawn-out breath. “I’ll cover you, but I think you should talk to her about your intentions first. In her mind, home isn’t here anymore.”
“That’s a horrible idea. I’d rather her feel and see for herself without me having to convince her otherwise.”
“I’m here if you need me,” he says as I exit his office.
Sure, there’s a chance this can go belly up to blow up in my face and make a hell of a mess. But after the talk with Ma and the dinner with Dakota, I know I’m not just seeing things. I know the love in her eyes is for me. And I know the chemistry is still there. Only one question remains. Is it enough?
“Blake Helms. Where on earth are you taking me?” Dakota tries to sound mad although she laughs.
The moment she walked up my front steps, I threw a bandana over her eyes, put her on the back of my quad, and drove around in circles for a few laps to make sure she was completely disoriented before making my way to the real place.
I’ve got a surprise for her.
“Trust me. I promise you’ll like it,” I say, leading her through the tall grass at the back of the pasture carefully. Once I get her where I need her, I stop, letting go of her hand, and move behind her. “You ready?”
“If this scares me, so help me god, I will bury you wherever we are.”
Chuckling, I loosen the knot, allowing the cloth to fall. Her eyes flutter open and she blinks a few times against the afternoon sun until it comes into focus.
She gasps, a hand flying up to her mouth. “You said…”
“Ignore the asshole I was.”
“Is that ours?” She doesn’t peel her eyes away from the arbor—our arbor. The one I never burned because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“It is.”
Taking tentative steps, she walks over and runs her fingers over the wood, moving straight to where our names are carved into it—Blake & Kota 4 Life.
“I couldn’t bring myself to tear it down,” I tell her. “Ain’t gonna lie. Yesterday was the first time I’ve been out here in years. I came to check on it and needed to clean up around it before I brought you.”
When she spins around toward me, I see the tears in her eyes. She throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you for this.”
Bending slightly so she’s not so much on her tiptoes, I pull her against me and bury my face into her hair. She smells like strawberries and lavender. Fuck, I like it. I’ve missed the way she feels against me, the way she fits.
Reluctantly, though, I let go of her, take her hand in mine, and lead her to sit with me on the swing. She takes in the scenery, her lips pulled up and eyes wide. It’s a pretty day, the sun reflecting the mountains reaching into the sky like a mirror off the pond’s surface. A soft breeze causes the leaves to bristle around us.
“I’ve thought of this place so much,” she says, almost a whisper. “This view right here. It helped me find peace when I felt lost in college.”
Just as I open my mouth to respond, there’s a large creak, a loud snap, and the swing drops out from underneath me. She yelps. I land with a thud and she falls on top of me, her bony ass elbow hitting me in the ribs and jarring my breath.
Then we’re in stitches, cracking up. “Guess I should’ve checked the swing yesterday.” As she tries to get up, I tighten my hands on her hips and hold her in place. Close to me. Against me. Our laughter gets sucked away as I lose myself in the gold flecks in her eyes. “You’re so fucking pretty, Kota,” I whisper.
A curtain of her hair drapes in front of me, and I reach up, moving part of it and sliding my fingers to the back of her head. Like I’ve yearned to do for eleven long damn years, I pull her face to mine. When our lips touch, it’s as if the earth shifts, finding its correct spot back on its axis. Her lips part and my tongue slips past them, sliding with hers. I inhale her, deepening it, but keeping it slow.
I’ve wandered around lost for years, and in this moment, right here with her against my body, her mouth on me, I’m finally home. At last, I’m complete again.
A little moan escapes her, and it travels through me, straight to my soul. I tighten my grip on her hair, pulling her closer.
Suddenly, like she’s been shocked by electricity, she rips her mouth away from mine. “I’m…” she scrambles to get off me, stumbling backward when she stands. “That can’t be comfortable.”
She’s frazzled, worrying her bottom lip, eyes darting around to everything but me. I get to my feet and lift her chin so she is forced to look at me. “Quit being nervous, Kota. It’s just me.”
“That’s exactly why I’m nervous. It’s you. That wasn’t supposed to happen,” she rambles.
I smirk. “I still love it just as much as I always have.”
There’s a flash in her eyes and I notice her fingers are tapping the side of her legs. “I… we’re not—”
I shut up her bumbling with another slow kiss. Pulling away, I grin, looking her in the eyes. “Still nervous?”
Her lashes flutter open and she purses her lips. “I know how this works. If I say yes, you’ll kiss me until I’m not. If I say no, you’ll kiss me until I’m boneless.”
“Worked when you were eighteen.”
Her laugh is just as beautiful as she is. “Newsflash. I’m not eighteen anymore.”
Licking my lips, I glance to her mouth. “Yeah. I know.”
“We, uh, we should get back.”
Ignoring her attempt to run away from her nerves, I grin like the devil at her. “What was another way I got you out of your head?”
A crease forms between her knitted eyebrows as she tries to rem
ember, and when she does, her eyes flash wide, darting around as she takes a step back. “Don’t you dare.”
Each step I take toward her, she takes one back. “Don’t do what?”
Quickly, she spins around and takes off running. But before she can get too far away, I hook her around the waist and hoist her over my shoulder. “Don’t you dare!” she shrieks, kicking her legs.
She smacks my ass as I march us to the end of the small dock. “You can still swim. Right, city slicker?”
“I don’t have any clothes!” she bellows.
“I do. And we already know you look better in them than I do.”
“If you jump into that pond, I swear I’ll never—”
She doesn’t get the chance to finish. I jump. And she screams the entire way to the water.
“I’m going to murder you!” she bubbles back up to the top, swatting her hair away from her face.
“At least I’ll die a happy man.” I swim to the dock and hoist myself out before pulling her up and wrapping my arms around her waist.
“I can’t believe you did that,” she tries to say straight-faced, but she ends in a giggle.
There’s an edge in her gaze, mischievous, defiant, and just as she takes a step away from me, she shoves me in the chest. Hard. Caught off guard, I stumble and fall back into the water.
“That’s what you get, asshole,” she quips and turns, sashaying her victorious ass back to the quad.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Blake
Just a few walls away, she’s naked and in my shower. The thought is driving me insane. While she took the shower in my en suite, I took the one in the bathroom down the hall. Cleaning the kitchen counters isn’t doing a damn thing to distract me from my thoughts. I’ve emptied the dishwasher, cleaned out the sink, straightened the stools… But still, I know she’s here.
When I hear my bedroom door open, I brace myself. I used to love seeing her in my clothes and when she rounds the corner, I realize not a damn thing has changed. Her hair is wet, darker. My sweats swallow her whole and is that…
“You went through my closet?” I bark a laugh, tossing down the rag I was using to wipe down the cabinets.
She shrugs, biting her smile and pulling at my old high school gym shirt. “It was mine.”
But she left it behind.
“It always looked better on you anyway.”
There’s a twinkle in her eyes. “I don’t know. I liked seeing you in it.”
Resting my ass against the end of the counter, I cross my arms over my chest. “Strange, considering once you wore it, you never gave it back to me.”
She’s fidgeting with the hem of the shirt, frozen in the spot where she stands. “I can’t believe you still have it.”
Truth or not… “It’s hard to get rid of things that have meaning.” My body moves toward her on its own accord.
“These smell like you,” she whispers, flipping her eyes up to me. In them, pure desire…
“That a good thing or a bad thing?” I ask, inching closer.
Her back hits the wall when I close in on her, placing my forearms on the wall beside her head. I’m inches away, the heat of her body warm against mine.
“Good,” she whispers.
Electricity crackles around us, the sparks sizzling our skin. Her chest rises and falls and the way she’s looking at me…
“I want to fucking touch you so badly,” I say, my voice low. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. Leaning down, I drag my nose against her cheek. “Let me.”
“We shouldn’t let this happen.”
“Does it feel right?” I ask.
“With you, it’s always felt right.”
Fuck yes it has. A smile pulls at my lips. “Then let me. Say the words, Kota.”
A pregnant pause and I’m certain she’s going to deny us this. But then the sweetest, most blissful words are barely a whisper. “Touch me.”
My restraint snaps. Gone. And I crash my mouth to hers, gripping the side of her head. Our kiss is heated, sloppy, fueled by an explosion. Years and years of emotions—love, hatred, anger, pain, need, longing, absence—all unloading. I feel rabid, needing her. She rakes her fingers through my hair and pulls me to deepen the kiss.
My hand snakes under the hem of her shirt and up the sides of her ribs. She shudders at my touch. Quickly, I yank the shirt off of her and then mine, tossing them somewhere behind me. She splays her hands over my chest, kneading the muscles under her palms, looking… fascinatedly turned on.
Cupping her breast, I squeeze it while licking along her neck. This ain’t cutting it, though. I’m in a rush to feel her. I need to feel all of her. I shove down her pants and she steps out of them while I strip from mine. Lifting her by the ass, I put her back against the wall as she wraps her legs around me.
“Are you still on birth control?” I breathe, kissing her neck.
“Yeah,” but she shakes her head. “But you. I don’t—”
I bite her bottom lip, watching her eyes flutter shut on a moan. “I’ve never been bare with anyone but you. I’ll wear one if you want me to.”
Eyes hungry, greedy, and desperate fall on me and then the sweetest words slip past her lips, “I trust you.”
My chest swells. Slipping my hand between us, I run my fingers through her wet folds. “I’ve waited too long for this. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
Giving her no time to refute, I line up and shove into her. A gasp falls from her parted lips and a groan, pure undulated pleasure, falls from mine. I keep my eyes on her, taking her in. Passion and desire burn in her gaze. Her lip gets caught between her teeth but then slips out when she moans. It’s been too long, way too long since I’ve seen her in ecstasy, and I want to commit this to memory.
I was sorely mistaken about the kiss. This… this is fucking home. She is home.
Fiercely, I drive into her, filling, emptying. Desperately. I’ve been starving for her way too long. She digs her fingers into my hair, tugging it in her fists. Nipping and kissing along her neck, I revel in the way she tastes, the way her skin feels against mine, the way her pussy feels wrapped around my cock.
“I’ve missed you so damn much,” I rasp against her skin. “So fucking much.”
Sliding my arm under her leg, I lift it to my bicep, changing the angle, and grinding in deeper. I capture her mouth, delving my tongue against hers, swallowing her moans. My fingers dig into her hips, hers still in my hair, as I thrust deep and fast.
“Shit,” she gasps, dropping her head to the wall. “Shit. Shit.”
The way her pussy tightens around me, her legs tremble, her mewl urges me on. Faster. Harder. Until she unravels, bursting apart at the seams. I watch, rapt, full-on entranced by the blissful euphoria flushing over her.
It destroys my longevity. Snatching it away.
Threads of electricity weave through my body. White hot flashes burst behind my eyelids. A frenzy of pleasure rushes through me. I slam into her with powerful thrusts, gritting my teeth until I’m slingshotted over the edge with her. Rooting deeply, burying myself to the hilt, I pin her to the wall, letting her milk every drop.
My forehead falls to her collarbone, trying to catch my breath and listening to her do the same.
“I’ll never get tired of the way you feel,” I murmur against her skin, placing soft kisses along her shoulder.
“Mmmm,” she hums and without having to lift my head, I know she’s got a smile on her face.
“Come take a shower with me,” I say, wincing when I pull out and set her feet back to the ground.
I take her hand in mine and lead us to my bathroom where I turn the shower on, waiting for the hot water. Stepping in behind her, I splay my hand across the smooth, wet skin of her stomach and pull her back against my chest. I feather kisses along her shoulder, up her neck, and lick the shell of her ear.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell her, feeling the shiver run up her body.
One hand slips up to her breast a
nd the other down between her legs. She arches her back, her ass grinding against my dick. My fingers work her clit as my other hand tweaks and pinches her nipple.
“Blake…” she murmurs a breath.
“I love my name on your lips,” I say, biting gently on her shoulder. “I made a promise to you that I’ll make it up.” I grab the soap, lather it in my hands, and wash her body, making sure I take time on her tits. Quickly, I wash myself and then lead us out. She reaches to grab a towel, but I stop her. Fuck a towel. I want to drink the water off her body.
I twist her around to face me, slide my fingers through her wet hair, and walk her backward to my bed. Capturing her mouth, I lower her to the bed and then do just what the hell I wanted to. I drink from her, all the water, her moans, her orgasms.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dakota
Strong arms hold me tightly against his warm body. I’ve been awake for twenty minutes, allowing the beat of his heart and his scent to calm my scattered thoughts. What happened last night shouldn’t have happened. It was powerful and unstoppable, like a volcano erupting. A force of nature out of our control.
When I stood in front of him in his clothes and saw the way he looked at me with love, lust, and fascination—the only way Blake had ever looked at me—I was flooded with so much want, so much need. I desired his touch, to feel wanted and needed like only Blake has ever made me feel.
After we took a shower and he moved us into his bedroom, he took it slow and devoured me. He cherished every inch of my body, kissing, licking, loving me from head to toe. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed his touch, just how much I really needed him until last night. He made a promise and he delivered. God, did he deliver. Last night was incredible. Everything old blended with everything new. And it was everything magnificent.
His breath is even, slow and steady and when I move closer, he squeezes me tighter. Every time I move, I’m sore in all the perfect places, a reminder that Blake doesn’t just know my body. He owns it. Lifting, I lean over him and start kissing across his chest, over his taut stomach and follow the dark hair of his happy trail below the sheet. His dick is semi-hard and it makes me smile. I used to love waking him up like this.