by Brenda Ford
“Because of your male fans. Because everyone loves you and it’s a bit too much for me to take.”
Her eyes narrow at me. I can tell that I have freaked her out a bit. “I don’t understand, Angelo.”
“I know nothing happened with those guys. I was there to see it with my own eyes. I know that you didn’t do anything, it’s just me and my brain. It really freaked me out. It made me panic badly.”
She falls in to the couch behind me and taps her head with her fingers. I thought that I had clarity now, that my brain was so much better since running from the bar, but it seems like I can’t explain it properly.
“Sorry, Rachel, let me just explain myself. I don’t think I’m fully being myself after learning that Mandy spent a lot of our relationship with other men. It’s affected me deeply. I know that isn’t your fault, but it’s troubling me. To know that I can be with someone for years and not know them is a lot. And also, to know that she couldn’t love me after everything… well, why should anyone else? So, to see you getting all kinds of attention from guys and knowing that the band is only getting bigger… well, it got the better of me for a moment.”
“I’m not Mandy,” she whispers with a head shake. “That isn’t me. I would never do that.”
“I know. I get that. Trust me, that isn’t you at all. It’s all me. It’s all in my head.”
“But if the band getting big is going to be a problem then what can we do here…?”
“It isn’t.” I reach out to her, but she pulls away, not ready to accept me just yet. “I promise you it isn’t. I’m not the man who is going to try and block you from your dreams, it was just a moment, that’s all.”
“Do you think you should stop being with me?” Rachel asks. “At least for a while? Because if you’re experiencing emotions because of you and Mandy, then I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
The sensation of her slipping through my fingers like grains of sand leaves me breathless. I don’t even want to think about it. I can’t handle my life without her, especially not now I know how wonderful she is.
“It was just a moment,” I reassure her. “Just a moment of madness, that’s all. It won’t happen again.”
She darts her eyes downwards and starts speaking. I brace myself, expecting my worst, but that isn’t what I get. “Angelo, I’m not going to do anything to hurt you, I want you to know that. I’m not Mandy, going to cheat on you all the time. I don’t like cheating, which I suppose is ironic since we fooled around more than we should, but that’s not a pattern of mine for sure.” She finally drags her eyes up to look at me. “Angelo, I might as well just tell you this. I am not going to hurt you because I have had feelings for you for as long as I can remember.”
“What?” I rasp, shock tearing through me. “What do you mean?”
“I know you didn’t much notice me because you were with Mandy, but I noticed you right away. I had feelings for you from the second I first saw you. It’s been torture for me to see you happy with another woman, but I never would have got in the way. Not until it seemed to me that you weren’t as happy as it seemed.”
I clutch my hand to my chest and part my lips a couple of times. But no words come out.
“But now I finally have you. This is everything that I have always wanted and more. I’m falling for you hard… but at the same time, I don’t want you to be with me if you aren’t one hundred percent in it.” She sucks in a breath and trembles all over from her head to her toes. “If that means you don’t want to be with me at all, then so be it. If you need time, then that’s fine. I’m happy to take a step back, because I have been thinking about me and you for a long time and I want it to be right if it’s ever going to really happen, you know?”
She’s liked me forever. She likes me more than Mandy ever did. I let that wash over me, wondering how I never noticed, and also how I could ever have been clouded by jealousy because of her. She isn’t the sort of person who would want to make me feel that way. She’s done what she can to make me secure.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat while stepping closer to her, closing the gap. “I was a fool.” I cup my hand over her cheek and hold her. “But I’m a fool for you. Can you forgive a fool like me?”
She giggles, the tension rolling off her shoulders as she does. “I suppose so.”
I pull her up to me, rising her on to her tip toes, and we kiss. Gently, almost nervously at first, but soon the familiarity grabs us, and we begin really exploring one another’s mouths. This is why I shut my panic off and ignored the worry to come back to Rachel’s home. Thank goodness, because if I left completely, I don’t know if we would be able to come back from this. She would be far too mad at me.
The next thing that happens is she pulls me down on to the couch so I’m lying on top of her, pressing my body against hers. She arches her back, pressing those gorgeous breasts of hers against me and wraps her legs around my back. As I run my hands down her body, I mentally return to the moment she was up on stage looking hot as hell and it sparks the flame back inside of me all over again. I slip my mouth downwards, over her throat, over her chest, tugging her top down as I do. She hasn’t got a bra on, which means her breasts pop out easily. My mouth is all over her nipple instantly, rock hard in my mouth, caressing my tongue.
Fuck, she’s incredible. She really is amazing. Everything about her is perfect, and now I’m pretty sure she has spent a lot of her life thinking about me, fantasizing about me, just makes it that much more exciting.
“Show me,” I rasp as I pull my lips away from her. “Show me what it’s like when you think of me.”
In the heat of lust, my question isn’t particularly well phrased, but me and Rachel share such a connection, especially when it comes to sexual chemistry, so she knows exactly what I want. She hitches up her skirt and pulls her panties to one side with her eyes fixed on me the entire time. I love the fire in her gaze, the flames of desire that set me alight too. I sense her fingers but watch her eyes as she plunges her fingers in to her.
“Oh, Angelo,” she gasps with her eyes sliding closed. My stare falls to her core where I watch her drive herself insane with need. “I imagine you touching and tasting me. Licking me everywhere.”
Watching her touch herself creates a deep throb in my cock. I don’t even realize that my hand is slipping down my body until my trousers are apart and my fingers are wrapped around myself. I pump my fist up and down as I watch her push herself to the brink of orgasm. She looks so fucking good like this. Especially with her face contorting like that. Making her look wonderful. Utterly amazing. It’s really hard not to erupt like a damn volcano all over her, making a real mess of her beautiful body and sexy outfit. I kind of want to. Just to see how stunning she would look all soaked in my seed. If things keep moving at this rate, I won’t be able to stop it anyway…
“Fuck me, Angelo,” she cries out as she writhes desperately under the power of her own touch. “This is the part where I want you to fuck me. Only, usually… usually you aren’t here.”
Holy shit, this is a chance for me to make her fantasy to come true. Not many people get that chance and I’m sure as hell not going to blow it. I shove my trousers the rest of the way down and push back on top of her, teasing her entrance with my cock. She doesn’t give me much of a chance to tease her for long though. She’s impatient and needy for me. Utterly wild and animalistic, so as she wraps her legs tightly around me and pulls me inside of her, I’m absolutely powerless to resist. I might be on top, but she has the control.
“You really have wanted me for ages?” I ask, possibly for my ego. I just need to confirm this.
“I have.” She clutches her hands tightly around my neck, keeping me close to her. “So badly.”
I cup her butt in my hands and lift her upright as if she weighs nothing and I press her up against the nearest wall. This angle allows me to slip even deeper in to her. Her walls clamp around me, drawing me in deeper, drawing the hot pleasure from me, sending me insane.
It’s hard for me to even remain upright, my knees knock together, I feel like jelly, but the sexy little noises coming out of her keep me going. I fucking love those sounds. They are absolutely delicious. So, I slam I to her over and over again, holding on to her, gripping on to the wall, kissing her at every opportunity to swallow up her screams…
When we lose it, we do so together. I haven’t ever experienced a simultaneous orgasm before, and it’s fucking magical. Her body reacts and contorts to me, drawing more pleasure from me by the moment. Her panting breaths match mine, our hearts race together, we are really in tune. It overwhelms me with loving feelings. I know for sure that I am falling for her too. Properly heading in to love. Our love story might not be a typical one, we may have begun on shaky grounds, but it’s perfect for us.
I am never going to allow anything that’s ever happened with Mandy to come between me and Rachel again. I have to draw a line underneath what happened and treat this as new relationship because that’s what it is. Something new with someone who thinks I’m worthwhile. Who wants me for being myself. Who could love me if I let her in. I can really see a future with Rachel in a way that wasn’t certain with Mandy. We could have it all.
As we collapse back on to the couch, clinging breathlessly to one another, I pull her even closer to me so I can hold her tight, to let her know how much I appreciate her without saying too much. I’m scared that if I start talking, I might say too much. I might end up telling her that I’m falling in love with her…
Chapter Twenty-One
Rachel
“…so then, Luke got down on one knee, and I honestly though that he was going to propose!” Sheri cackles with laughter. “I freaked out for a moment, but I soon said yes, which then freaked him out…”
“You can’t honestly be thinking about marrying Luke,” I half scream. “You’ve only been together for a while.”
“I know, I know, but at the same time, when you know that someone is the one, you just know.”
Those words stop me in my tracks, mostly because I know myself. After that initial blip with Angelo where he panicked – which I have looked over because of the crazy situation that led us here – we have been stronger than ever. We’re in an amazing place, and if Angelo wanted to marry me, I would.
With the drink circling through my veins, I find myself wanting to share the same with Sheri. I have managed to keep my relationship away from her up until now with the excuse that I want to see how things are going first, I want to be sure that all is going to work, but I don’t think I can hold on to that excuse now. It’s good.
“I have something to say to you as well,” I say with a small smile playing on my lips. “Something to tell you.”
“I knew it!” She bangs her hands down on the bar in front of her. “I knew that you were hiding something.”
I feel a heat traveling through my body. I really do suck at lying! Especially from my friend. I guess she’s just been patient, waiting for the moment when I would be ready to reveal all to her.
“Well, I only hid it because I didn’t want anyone to know. Not at first, anyway…”
She lets out a gasp and claps her hand to her mouth. My words trail off as I panic that she already suspects me, and Angelo are together. If she’s heard and I didn’t tell her first, she will destroy me.
“Please tell me you aren’t pregnant.” My friend’s face turns ashen which only panics me more. I fear she knows everything and she’s going to erupt. “Oh no, Rachel…”
“I’m not pregnant,” I reassure her. “That’s not the problem at all. I’m just seeing someone.”
The phrase ‘seeing someone’ really doesn’t cut it. The last few weeks have been wonderful and intense, full of lust and deep feelings that could rapidly be becoming love. I’m afraid to use the L word because it seems like it’s too soon, but I definitely feel it inside. Seeing someone doesn’t explain that, but it will work for now.
“Seeing someone?” Sheri lights up with excitement. “Who is it? Not Tom, right? That didn’t work out.”
“No, it isn’t Tom, but it is someone you know.” I hold my breath for a moment, trying to see through the booze to check that this is a good idea. I’m still not sure how she’s going to react, but I hope once I explain how happy I am. This is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. “It’s Angelo.”
There’s a beat of silence before she replies. “Angelo? Angelo Smith? The guy with a girlfriend…”
“No, he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore. He broke up with her.”
“So, nothing happened before he broke up with her?” I dart my eyes downwards, not wanting to answer that particular question. “And how long did he wait in between breaking up with her and getting with you?”
“I…” Another question I don’t want to answer because it was only hours. The way that Sheri is talking is as if it’s a seedy romance rather than us finally getting together after all of these years.
“And you really think that this is a good idea, Rachel? Because it sounds crazy to me. Like you’re just a rebound girl who is headed for heart ache. I don’t mean to sound like a dick, and I don’t want to upset you, but I think it’s much better for you to hear this from me than to just go ahead with this. Angelo Smith has never paid you much attention before and now all of a sudden, you’re ‘seeing him’? He broke up with Mandy for you… or he’s using you to make her jealous? You might just be part of a game here.”
“Sheri, I can understand why you think that,” I shoot back calmly. “But it isn’t like that. There really is something between me and Angelo. I know that it’s quick and not an ideal situation…”
“That’s one way to put it, sure. I have a few more choice words for it, if I’m honest.”
“Well, it’s real. It’s serious. Me and Angelo are going to make this work. I get that you don’t like it, and if I were you then sure, I would probably feel the same way, but you’ll just have to see.”
“Rachel, I think you are blinded by love.” She rests her hand reassuringly on mine. “You have liked Angelo for such a long time that you would take anything from him. You can’t be objective about this because your feelings are too deep. I want you to understand that you deserve so much better.”
I know there’s a little bit about what Sheri is saying that’s right, but not everything. “Angelo treats me right, Sheri. We are really happy together. You should spend some time with us, and you’ll see.”
“You want me to hang out with you and Angelo?” she sneers. “There’s no chance of that.”
“But why not?” I throw my hands in the air in frustration. This conversation definitely isn’t going how I wanted it to. “Why not just get to know us together as a couple? Just give it a chance. I tried things your way, I went on the double date and it just showed me more that Angelo is the only one for me.”
She slaps her palm to her forehead in an irritated manner. I can see what Sheri is thinking, she’s annoyed that she can’t get through to me, but that doesn’t make me crack because I feel the same way. She isn’t listening to me either. She has her blinkers firmly on and she doesn’t want to see the truth.
“Rachel, I can already see that you aren’t going to listen to me,” she finally continues. “So, I just want to say this last point before we don’t talk about it again, because the last thing I want to do is fall out with you. Especially when I’m sure that you’re going to need me more than ever soon…” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “But jumping into a relationship with someone who has just split up with another person is never a good idea. Particularly if there is an overlap. There will be no trust, it’s always on a tight rope, waiting to explode. I believe this is especially the case with you and Angelo because you are going to be deeply involved. You have had feelings for this man forever, so you are going to throw all of yourself in it. He can’t be as full in as you because a little bit of him is still with Mandy. Even if he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, which I suspect he mi
ght have because they were together for so long and only just ended, he will have baggage. She was cheating on him as well, with his twin brother. I don’t believe that can stay a secret forever. That will be complicated.”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat, having already experienced some of that. The jealousy coming from Mandy’s cheating. But we got over that, so that means we can get over anything. Surely. We have feelings so strong that we are clearly meant to be, so I believe that we can recover no matter what happens. I really believe that.
“Look, Rachel,” Sheri continues. “I don’t want to burst your bubble. I want you to be happy, and if it’s with Angelo who you have wanted to be with forever, then so be it. I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to get your heart broken because you’re being naïve. I only care about you.”
She’s been my friend through so much, including my unrequited love for Angelo, so much as it doesn’t suit me to hear her words, I need to listen anyway. Sheri has my best interests at heart always. She doesn’t have any reason to tear me down when I’m up so high, I have to remember this through everything.
“Thank you, Sheri. I really do appreciate what you’re saying. I know what you mean. I am being smart though. At least, I think I am. I know what I’m doing here, and I’m sure that it’s all okay.”
“Look, I will be here when it all goes wrong…” She spots my facial expression. “If it all goes wrong. I will be here for you to help you pick up the pieces, and I won’t say ‘I told you so’. Even if I want to.”
I can’t stop myself from laughing a little at that remark. She will so want to tell me… but it isn’t going to come to that, I’m sure of it. “So, no double date for the time being then?”
“I will go on a double date with you and Angelo. I want to check him out. But not yet. I think… I think I just need to get my head around the idea first. To know for sure that this won’t implode.”
“Sure.” I nod seriously. “I agree with that. I know that you have your reservations, so whenever you’re ready.”