by Brenda Ford
“I don’t… I don’t know, Rosie. Sorry, I don’t mean to be… if you want to stay with Tristan then do. I don’t know, do I? This is why I don’t want to give you any advice, because it always backfires.”
“I don’t want to be with Tristan, that’s what I just told you, isn’t it?”
“Then what do you want? Huh? Because I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to say to you, Rosie. Nothing feels right. I want to help you, but you keep snapping at me all the time.”
Her hands fling on to her hips and she shakes her head at me. “You really don’t get it, do you? You have no idea. You’re just a fucking idiot, Oliver. You can’t… you can’t do anything right.”
“What the hell…?” I call after her. “What is going on?”
But she doesn’t answer. She runs through the front door and slams it closed behind her. All the air strips from my lungs as if she’s taken the breeze with her as she goes. I don’t know what is going on here, what I’ve done wrong, but clearly, it’s something. I’m struggling to work out how I can make it right. I don’t even know if there is anything that I can do. It all seems a bit out of my control.
I don’t like to keep doing nothing, but that’s the only thing which seems to be logical right now. Every time I do anything, I just make it worse. I’m like a ticking time bomb, leaving a trail of destruction each time I act.
Chapter Twelve
Ellie
What am I doing? I ask myself as I continue to stare up at the ceiling. There are so many things that I need to be getting on with right now, so many chores crying out for my attention, including getting a damn job, but all I can do is think about him. Oliver Smith, the man who has me all tied up in knots.
I want to be with him, I’m sure I do. I don’t know why I’m even questioning it really. Sure, I might have stormed over to his house in a mood with Rosie and that might have affected my decision to have sex, but quite frankly I don’t regret it. Not at all. It was incredible, Oliver was so lovely with me, and it felt incredible… of course, I do regret the way that I acted afterwards. Running away and not speaking to him again wasn’t my finest move, but I think he might be able to forgive me. If I just go over there. So, what is holding me back?
Rosie, I think. Rosie’s reaction to everything. I don’t want to put too much stock into everything that she has said to me, especially the bits blurted out in the heat of anger, but it’s still playing with me regardless. I can’t help it. She is my family, and I don’t have much of that left, so I don’t want to hurt her too much. If she does like Oliver, I wish she would just tell me so we can talk about it and go from there. We just don’t have that kind of relationship. I can’t get her to open up to me and likewise I know I won’t open up to her. It’s a shame.
I hear the sound of the front door opening down the stairs and since it’s probably going to be Seth back from school, I force myself to dig up every scrap of energy that I have, and I roll off the bed. I still want to be there for him even through any personal traumas that I’m having, because I’m all he has left. Sure, Auntie Amelia has been good to him, and Rosie too, but soon enough it will only be us.
“No, Tristan, it isn’t like that.” But it’s Rosie’s voice that I hear floating up the stairs. “I love you.”
I lean against the door and listen to her for a couple of moments, hearing her tell her idiot boyfriend how much she loves him and only him. How much she has always loved him. See, she wouldn’t be saying all of those things if she had any kind of feelings for Oliver, would she? She’d end things and ask him out. I think I’m getting in my own head about that. I’m assuming that she likes Oliver but actually I feel she just doesn’t want me to be with him. She doesn’t think I’m good enough for him. She doesn’t want him, nor does she want me to have him.
Well, screw that. She’s got her own thing going on. She has Tristan. It shouldn’t worry her one damn bit if I am with Oliver or not. He likes me and I like him. The only way we will find out if I’m good enough for him is if we give it a try. Maybe Rosie will be right, and I’ll mess everything up, but maybe not.
Without worrying about it any longer, and without considering what Rosie might think about it anymore, I creep out my bedroom and tip toe down the stairs. I’m not hiding anymore, just avoiding any kind of conversation with Rosie. It seems like she has her own issues to contend with anyway, with Tristan.
Once outside, I practically run the short distance between my temporary house and his, my heart racing with excitement as I go. I almost let out a giggle because I’m so excited, I feel like a puppy jumping around for joy as I get a new toy. Oliver is my brand new toy and I can’t wait to play with him.
I bang hard on the door and rock back and forth on my toes as I wait impatiently for someone to answer. There are cars outside the Smith house hold, I know that people are in there. I just hope it’s the right people.
“Oh, hey.” Brad answers the door and gives me a lazy smile. “Ellie, how are you?”
I bite down thoughtfully on my bottom lip before I answer. As soon as I say these words, what is probably suspicion right now will be confirmed. But that hardly matters, does it? If we’re going to be together.
“Is Oliver home? I would like to talk to him if possible.”
“Sure, he’s up in his room. Do you need me to show you the way?”
I can’t stop myself from smiling. “No, I know where I’m going.”
Brad steps aside and lets me in, chuckling to himself as I bound up the stairs two at a time. At least he doesn’t have anything to say about me and Oliver, I don’t want to deal with any more negativity.
“Oliver?” I knock on his bedroom door too. I don’t want to barge right in and invade his privacy. “It’s me.”
“Ellie?” Luckily, as he replies I can hear the happiness in his voice. “Oh, thank goodness.”
The door flies open, and I immediately grab him in for a kiss. I should apologize with words really, but I know that actions speak much louder. He responds to the kiss, giving me as much passion as I am giving to him, but only for a moment. It isn’t long before he’s pulling back to give me the oddest look. I can just tell that he’s wondering what the hell I’m doing, why I have been blowing so hot and cold, and I don’t know how I’ll explain it to him.
“Are you okay?” he shocks me by saying. “I have been worried about you; you know.”
“You’ve been worried?” That’s a strange feeling. I don’t know if anyone has ever really asked me if I’m okay before. I’ve always just been seen as someone tough who can get on with it. “Why have you been worried?”
“Well, because you looked all sad before you left the other day. Like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders. I was worried that I had done something to upset you. Then I’ve been worried that you’re struggling with your grief and panicking that you don’t have anyone to talk to… basically, I’ve been thinking of you a lot.”
“Wow.” I can’t believe it. I knew that he liked me, but I didn’t think he was that much into me! “Well, yes. I’m okay. I think. I needed a little bit of time to wrap my head around it, but… well, I’m good.”
“I’m glad you came back to me. I have missed having you around.”
The people who have known me for my whole life back at home won’t miss me, but Oliver has. That’s incredible. No wonder I’m completely obsessed with him. This is everything that I’ve ever wanted.
“I missed you too. It’s good to be back here.” I beam with joy. “How have your days been?”
“Work.” He rolls his eyes and takes a seat on the bed, patting the space for me to sit next to him, which I do. “It’s been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. Terrible and pretty boring. How about you?”
“I’ve been looking for a job.” That sounds better than telling him I’ve been lying on the bed thinking about him. “No luck at the moment, but I’m sure something will come my way.”
“Oh, you will sort something. You know, I co
uld ask Brad if you like…?”
I immediately shake my head no. I can’t imagine anything would kill our romance quicker than working together. Plus, if I do go to work with him, he’ll find out just how much younger I am than him. Personally, I don’t think it’s an issue, age is just a number, but Rosie has freaked me out. I don’t want him to find out how young I am until he’s really fallen for me and it won’t matter.
“Okay, yeah I’m sure you have your own plans, so you do what you need to.” I smile, still saying nothing. “Have you been out much since you’ve been here? Have you gotten to know the place?”
“You know what, I haven’t yet, but I haven’t really wanted to. I think I’ve just been adjusting. So much has happened in such a short time. I just haven’t had the energy. Plus, I’ve been looking after Seth.”
“Of course. And how is he doing? He must be struggling a little…”
This strips my breath away as I think about poor Seth. I won’t be home now when he gets in from school to check on him. He’ll probably be fine because he’s connected well with Auntie Amelia, but I like to see him.
“He seems to be doing okay, but I can’t always tell. I don’t know how much he’s holding in.”
“Hmm, yes he might be. I know I didn’t talk much growing up about my pain. But I survived it.”
“Yes.” I stare at him for a few moments, realizing that we have a bond, something in common. “I forgot that all of you survived it too. Your parents dying when you were young. And you’re all doing well now.”
“Exactly.” He nods. “Kids are resilient. They can survive all sorts. We’re proof of that. I’m sure there will be times when Seth struggles, but he has you looking out for him, so he’s very lucky. You will get him through it.”
That makes me feel even better. He really does see me in a positive light, much better than I have ever seen myself. I can’t help but swell with pride as he gives me a surge of confidence.
“Thank you. I hope so. That means a lot to me.” I chuckle. “But you know what, it’s my birthday soon. On the thirteenth. Maybe you should take me out for the night. Show me around the place.”
I like the idea of this, it turns this into something much more serious than just hooking up at his home. I really hope that he agrees because I want to know he sees me in the same way I do him.
“It’s your birthday? Oh, sure that would be amazing. We can go out to a couple of bars.”
Hmm, bars might be an issue because of my age, but if I confess that, he might ask how old I actually am. In fact, he will definitely ask my age, it’s a shock that the birthday conversation hasn’t led to that, so all I can do is nod and pray. I can look older than I am anyway, especially if I dress up, so all will be okay.
It will be sophisticated anyway, a chance for me to show Oliver just how wonderful I can be for him in any situation. I want him to be proud to have me on his arm, I want him to show me off.
“Sounds great, thank you, I would love that. I would like to go anywhere with you.”
“We’ll have to make that night special for you. You deserve it after everything.”
I lean my head against his shoulder and breathe in Oliver’s delicious manly scent, so glad that I have come. I can’t believe I was even questioning this; how can I not want it when it’s absolutely perfect? So perfect that I won’t ever let anyone get in the way of us again. Not Rosie, not anyone. Me and him are meant to be, I just know it. I just need to let him realize it too.
Chapter Thirteen
Oliver
There is nothing more exciting to me than sitting on my bed and eating Chinese take-out food with Ellie. Even when we’re barely talking and simply focused on eating, it’s just a thrill to be with her. She lights up the room, her presence is such an awesome one, I always want to be around her. Actually, I would like her to come and work with me because she would make every meeting far more interesting… but she’d also be a massive distraction because I wouldn’t be able to stop looking at her, so maybe it’s best she wants to do something else.
“You really are gorgeous,” I chuckle. “Sorry, I know I keep telling you that, but you are.”
An adorable redness stains her cheeks. “That’s okay, I like hearing it. It’s nice. No one has ever said that to me before so yes, if you want to keep telling me that you like the way I look, then so be it.”
“I can’t believe that! What were the guys thinking where you lived before? Were they mad?”
She parts her lips, almost as if she’s about to tell me something, but she snaps her mouth closed again just as quickly. I would love her to feel like she can open up to me about whatever has happened to her, even if it’s about some horrible ex-boyfriend or something, but I can’t push her. We’ve already touched on the topic of her mother’s death tonight. I don’t want to end up making her an emotional mess.
“Anyway, I think you’re beautiful and that’s the main thing. In fact… would you like to stay over tonight? I know that I only have a queen size bed but I’m sure it can fit two people in.”
“Have you ever had someone sleep over in this bed before?”
I shake my head no. I haven’t. Whenever I have dated or had short flings in the past, I have stayed with them, so they don’t have to go through the horror of meeting all of my brothers. When all five of them are in the house, it’s pretty overwhelming for anyone. Plus, I don’t want to have a million questions from them either. But it’s different with Ellie. She’s different. I want her here in bed with me. I want her with me all the time.
“Okay, well I am very proud to be the first one then. Although I don’t have anything to wear…”
“Suits me.” I smirk. “I’m hoping that you won’t wear anything.”
I lean across the bed and kiss her, the suggestion hanging thick in the air. She presses her mouth hard against mine, clearly liking what I’m saying to her. Her back arches and her breasts press against me, then she lets out a little delighted moan which vibrates all the way through my body to the base of my rock hard cock.
“You know, you have seen me naked,” she murmurs against my lips. “But I haven’t seen you nude yet.”
“You want to?” I laugh. “Because I can make that happen for you.”
I lean back off her and stand in the middle of the room. I keep my eyes fixed on her the whole time as I peel my tee shirt up. Ellie gasps loudly as my pecs flex which brings a self-satisfied grin to my face. Once I meet her gaze again, I unbuckle my trousers and wink at her as I slide them down. She appears so delighted, it’s like I’m the first man she has ever seen fully naked. Maybe if she’s only had shitty ex boyfriends then the sex hasn’t been great either. She hasn’t had the chance to really explore a man. Well, I can change that for her…
“Oh my God.” As I whip my underwear down she cries out. “You really are massive.”
Now, if that isn’t one hell of a confidence boost then I don’t know what is. I climb on the bed beside her and strip her clothing as well. The night light glints off her slick skin, making my heart pound. She’s perfect looking. All curvy and soft yet athletic as well. Her legs are long and her breasts perfect. Her nipples are dark and absolutely stunning. Delicious to taste as well. The curve of her ass is lovely as well, all I want to do is cup my hands over her and hold her for a few moments. To feel every part of her.
I kiss her lips, then her neck, then my mouth travels down her stomach to her belly button. Her fingers knot up in my hair and she moans deliciously as I travel further down her body. The scent of her core fills my nostrils already and I can’t wait to taste her again. My hungry lips travel down until I manage to take that sexy little clit of hers between my mouth. I suck, I lick, I tease with my teeth, loving the way she bucks like crazy. She loses all control of her body when I use my tongue on her and I love it.
Wanting to drive her over the edge that little bit more, I plunge one finger between her wet folds and massage her insides. She thrusts back against me, so I slide ano
ther finger in, then a third. Combining my mouth and hand, I cause animalistic noises to fly out of her, sounds I haven’t heard before, and I immediately want more. I pump my fingers faster, fucking her with my hand, and I flicker and swirl my tongue more rapidly as well. She tenses up and shudders, her breaths coming out ragged and sharp as the pleasure grips her.
“I want to hold you,” she cries out. “I want to feel you in my hand.”
There is such a desperation to her words that I can’t resist whipping away to give her what she wants. With a dark desire in her eyes, she grabs my shoulders and pins me back on the bed, taking complete control of me. She straddles me, fixing me in place between her thighs and she slowly reaches out her hand to me. For someone who was so desperate to grab me a moment ago, she’s certainly less forward now. But I don’t mind, the anticipation is exciting. It brings up all kinds of crazy thrills, kinky thrills actually, this feels very different.
“Oh, my goodness.” As she wraps her fingers around me, the delight flickers across her face again. “You feel amazing. I can’t believe how hard you are. This is so sexy.”
“Well, that’s what you do to me. That’s all for you, baby.”
I slide my eyes closed and press my head into the pillow as she strokes me. She moves her hand slowly at first but picks up the pace when she can see how much I’m enjoying it. I love that she’s treating this as a brand new experience. She isn’t just touching me in a way that she thinks I will like. She’s exploring me and really learning what I want which just shows me how special she is. How much I like her…
And I really like her, both as a person as well as a sexual attraction. The more I talk to her, the more I like her, and the more I want to get to know. But fucking hell, I can’t think about my feelings right now, because she’s driving me wild. Her delicate soft fingers are moving faster now, coaxing the orgasm from me.