The J Project

by Karli James

  Right so I’m still a guy. She’s pretty beautiful all of the times, but her O face brought her to a whole new plane of existence; rosy flushed skin, head thrown back, parted lips, hell even her sweat was beautiful. It’s as if someone had come in and just gently misted her so she shone and sparkled; nothing like the giant beads of my own sweat that I felt rolling down my back and off my hairline.

  Oh God, did I drip sweat on her? I hope not. Shit. That’s not sexy. But look at her? Does it look like she gives a crap about my drop-sweat? No. This girl sitting across from me, in my t-shirt, (I’m so blessed), eating her Chinese food, is straight up glowing and grinning around bites. At me. Like I’m the best thing ever. I’m not quite sure how I got so damn lucky, especially after that spectacularly shitty start, (mmm, yes, I just love alliterations), but here I am. I. Got. The. Girl.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like…like that?” She points her fork at me and twirls it in a circle in front of my face.

  “I’m sorry, can you be more specific? What is my face doing?”

  “It’s like half grinning, half smirking, half softly pondering life.”

  “How my halves does my face have, exactly?”

  “Smart ass.” I chuckle and reach for my beer.

  “If you’re witnessing multiple expressions it’s because I’m feeling multiple emotions. Also, you’re so hot in my shirt.” She throws her head back and laughs.

  “Isn’t that like every guy’s fantasy? Should I keep this one now? Stow it away in my own drawer. Sniff it when you’re not around.”

  “I mean, I don’t want to be bossy and tell you what to do, but…fuck yes. You definitely should. To all of it.”

  “I can do that.” She cocks her head to the side, twists her lips to the corner. “And for the record, I’m feeling multiple emotions in this moment as well.”

  “Yeah? Like what?”

  “Nope. No fair. You go first.”

  “Oooh, okay scaredy mcscaredster. I’ll be the brave one. Okay—emotion number one: I am completely besotted with you. Enough to use the word besotted in a modern-day conversation. Two: you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, even when you’re piling food into your body like you’re an actual garbage disposal—seriously, where does it all go? You’re such a peanut. Third: Our sex is fire. And fourth: I’d like to keep you if you’ll let me.” By the end of my confessional, Kara is gaping at me a bit, until an almost shy smile creeps up on the side of her face. That right dimple is just hinting at its existence.

  “You want to keep me, huh?”

  “If you’re amenable to that idea, then yes. I would prefer it.”

  “I think I’m okay with that.”

  “Excellent. Done deal then Presh, you’re mine now.”

  “Hot. I like it.”

  “‘Hot’ she says. Ha! But, me too. Don’t distract me with your pretty words though, it’s your turn.”

  “Dammit. Fine. Okay, one: I’m feeling pretty swoony after our sexy time. I’ve never had that kind of experience. Laughter, and lust. Oooh new book title? No? Right, you just keep doing you. Two: Your long eyelashes are both my fantasy and my envy; they fall like crescent moons on your cheeks when you’re gazing at me beneath them, and my heart trips up over it. Third: Your O groans are incredibly sexy, and I’d like to hear more of them. Fourth: I’d also like to keep you, if you’ll let me.” I have to be honest; I wasn’t expecting her to out-do me on the confessional, yet she’s got me, dare I say, breathless? Sweet hell, this woman.

  “Damn girl, hold on – I need to write down that eyelash line for my book. That was good stuff.”

  “I hate you!”

  “Adore you.”

  “Dick.”

  “Your dick”

  “Yeah, mine.”

  And we’re both grinning at each other like fools, and my heart is open, and alive, and so fucking full.

  “Stay.”

  “The night?”

  “Yeah. We’ll start with that.”

  She’s curiously scrutinizing my expression—I imagine she’s trying to figure out if I’m being serious or not. I’m serious, but not insane. There’s no pressure here, just an undeniable need to let her know in these little ways that I mean what I say. That I’m serious about keeping her.

  “Okay Jude, we can start with that.”

  She’s got that sweet shy smile back in place, and I can’t help but lean over and kiss her temple.

  “You’re too good to me, Presh. Mmm, and you smell good too. Seriously, how do you smell like a freshly peeled orange?” I’m nuzzling her now; I can’t help it. Can I just fall asleep right in this spot? Because fuck it would be perfect; like falling asleep inside of summer. Warm, and fresh, and delicious.

  “I’m telling you, it’s my body scrub. It’s called ‘Sweet Citrus Sugar’. I love it. Great exfoliator.”

  “Mmmm, k, well I’m just gonna have to Amazon Prime that shit to my house, and stock you up. You need it in both showers.”

  “I think I can live with that.” I kissed the underside of her jaw, pushed her hair behind her ear. Damn she’s pretty.

  “Me too, Kar. Me too.”

  “Jude, can I ask you for a favor?”

  “Anything.”

  “Can we snuggle on your amazing sheets and watch a movie? I’ll let you touch my boobs again if you want.” I burst out laughing.

  “Thaaaats why you agreed to be mine so easily isn’t it? Those damn sheets.”

  “Fuck, I’m so obvious.”

  She’s grinning and cups my cheeks, plants a wet kiss on my lips.

  “But no seriously, can we though?”

  “Yes baby, we can. You done eating?”

  “Mmmhmm. Thank you by the way. I love Lo Mein and wine.”

  “I remembered. Why don’t you head on back to the bedroom and get situated—find a movie for us and I’ll meet you there? I just want to put the rest of this away, dishes in the dish washer, and all that.”

  “I’m not even going to argue with you, because…those sheets.”

  “Get it, girl.” I smacked her ass as she leapt off the chair.

  “Hey, watch it! Or do it harder. Either, or.”

  “God, you’re amazing.”

  She’s laughing all the way down the hall, and I’m sighing because I know that if I wasn’t before; if I was just crushing hard on her, in deep ‘like’ with her, it’s more than that now. She’s just walked away carrying my whole heart with her.

  Chapter 18

  Kara

  Over the next couple of weeks, Jude and I develop a pretty natural routine. Jude would come hang out down at the bar while I was working a couple of nights a week, and I would laze around on his sofa while he was writing—binge watching shows, or reading, or napping, or whatever I felt like doing. We genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, and I’ve never laughed so much in my entire life. We split time between our apartments, fitting in plenty of “slumber parties,” and yes, showers with my yummy citrus sugar scrub.

  Our friends and family were both giving us a bit of shit on both sides for being rather reclusive with our new relationship, but I couldn’t find it in myself to feel too guilty. I was too happy, and too selfish with my time with him. However, I did need to have a lunch date with Drew and talk about what was going on with his work, and I also owed Allison a night out. Maybe I could invite Nina out with us when that happened. I’d have to think about that later, right now I was lounging on The Sheets and trying to come up with some fresh cocktail recipes. Jude popped his head in on a break from his writing, and I couldn’t help the immediate curve of my lips at the sight of him.

  “Whatcha doin, Presh?”

  “Cookin’ up some cocktails. What are you doing?”

  “Taking a break. Sarah is a piece of work, and I just really need a moment of distance.”

  “You’re so dramatic. You’re the one creating her, so if she’s driving you nuts,
won’t she drive your readers nuts? Is that really what you want?”

  “I didn’t say she was driving me nuts, well I mean, she is, but not because she’s actually annoying. She’s a piece of work, much like you, which makes her difficult for me to write. Some parts are easy and flow, and some completely stump me because I don’t get what the hell she’s trying to do. So, I need to take a time out; separate and regroup so I can go back and figure out what she’ll do next. She’s starting to feel forced and I absolutely hate that. She’s a tough cookie. Oooh, cookies. Do you think we have any left?”

  “Pantry, second shelf.”

  “You. Are. My. Fave.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Absolutelies. Wanna come join me for cookie time? I need to ask you something, so maybe I can butter you up with sugar first.”

  “Umm, that’s not scary at all or anything. But yes. Cookies always sound good.” I hopped off the bed and followed him out, down toward the kitchen. We settled down at the center island with glasses of milk and chocolate chip goodness. He takes a bite, chewing slowly, studying me.

  “What’s going on, Jude?”

  “Well…it’s nothing bad, but I’m just not sure if you’re ready, so I don’t want you to feel pressure, but…”

  “Out with it.”

  “I was wondering if you would want to go with me to my Dad’s this weekend? I’d love for you to meet him, and I haven’t been there in a while. Nina has been pestering me to go with her, so I thought…I don’t know, that it might be a good time?” I reached across the counter to squeeze his hand.

  “Relax. I would love to meet your Dad.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Of course.”

  “Awesome, okay, I just didn’t want you to be wigged out by meeting the family.”

  “How can I be weirded out? Yes, you still have to meet my parents as well, but you’re already BFFs with my brother so…”

  “Solid point. Speaking of, I might be going out with him and Liam tomorrow night if you’re cool with that. I haven’t done anything with Liam in a long time, and your brother texted me if I was free so I invited him along.”

  “Hold up, first of all…when did you guys start texting? Secondly, he reached out to you?”

  “Umm, we’ve been semi regularly texting since the last time I saw him at Stir. And yes, he texted me. Why? Are you jeally?”

  “No. I mean. Kind of! He’s my brother and I’m still waiting on a lunch invite to discuss his work bullshit.”

  “Riiiiight. About that. It’s not good.”

  “WHAT?! He’s told you about it?”

  “Presh, now look, we’re guys. We share our bullshit in a different way. More with grunts, and head nods, and limited talking. Unless I’m the guy, then I do a lot of talking. Your brother though…it’s just limited words; enough to get the gist, and then he’s done. So, it’s nothing personal, and I’m sure he’ll call you soon for that lunch date and fill you in. But it’s also part of why he reached out to me. I think he’s on the verge of giving that place the good ole middle finger salute, and needs to vent about it before he actually goes through with it.”

  “This is unbelievable. You guys have hung out like three times, and already you know more about his life than I do! I’m offended! Hurt! Shocked!”

  “Also…dramatic, maybe? A touch? No?”

  “Stop it right now! That’s fine. Fine then. Have fun with your guys’ night. I’ll be having a girls’ night with Allison and Nina.”

  “Oh, that sounds like fun, good for you honey.”

  “Hate you.”

  “Do you though?” He’s smirking at me, and I kind of want to punch him, but also kiss him because…mrrp. That smirk. He’s cute.

  “Fine. I guess not. So, what day and time are we going to see your Dad this weekend?”

  “Saturday…. like, noon-ish?”

  “Sounds good. Wait I have to work Saturday night though, is that going to be a problem? I’ll have to be at the bar by five.”

  “No, that’s not a problem, that’s why I figured we’d go for lunch, spend a few hours and then we can head back. Then I’ll probably try to get some writing done while you’re working.”

  “Okay, sounds good. I’ll just head back to your place after work, then.”

  “Yes please.” Chuckling I lean in for a quick kiss, which he takes advantage of and deepens until we’re tangled up in each other, and my breath is coming faster, his eyes are glazed over and right when I think he’s going to lay me out right there on that kitchen counter again, he jumps back from me, leaving me gasping and whimpering at the loss.

  “Oh shit! That’s it. Baby, I’m so sorry. Presh, darling of mine, I’m so sorry to leave you in the middle of what this could have been, but Sarah just figured some shit out and I have to go write it before I lose it.”

  “Wait, you were thinking about Sarah while you were kissing me?”

  “Umm, no? I mean no. Of course not. More like our kiss inspired me for a Sarah scene and if I lose it, I’ll be pissed. But I promise to make this up to you in all of the best of ways—later. On The Sheets. More than once. Multiple Os. A box of fucking Cheerios in fact. ALL. THE. Os.”

  “Alright, alright, slow down stud. You don’t need to promise to break me, I get it. Go. Write. Come back to me when you’ve got it done. I have the night off so I’ll just snuggle in and watch a chick flick while you’re getting hot with another woman.”

  “Ha! You’re awesome. Yay for you.” I crack up.

  “Yay for us. Now go.”

  “Going.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I melt a bit more for him, as I watch Jude settle in to write; serious and focused, and so unlike the non-writing Jude. I enjoy watching him like this. It’s such a contrast to his normal every day goofy insanity. I feel like I’m getting to witness a secret that no one else knows. Sigh. Man, I got it bad.

  A few hours later Jude comes strolling into the bedroom, smirking and looking delicious with mussed up hair, as if he’s been running his fingers through it in frustration.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi. Finish your scene?”

  “I did, yes. Thank you for being understanding. What have you been watching in here?”

  “Well…I started out with cheesy chick flicks and now I’m onto Forensic Files. Because…balance.”

  “Oooh I see. Murdery. Why am I not surprised to find out you enjoy violence?”

  “Hey, hey now…I don’t enjoy violence; however, I do enjoy the mystery of it all, the science, the way a case is put together and solved. Did you know that there are a lot of idiot criminals out there just leaving evidence behind like bread crumbs? Hi. Hansel and Gretel called, the jig is up.”

  “Not everyone can be a mastermind serial killer, sorry to disappoint.”

  “Shut. Up. Not what I meant. Although, truth. So, what should we do for dinner tonight? I’m getting kind of hungries.”

  “Uh oh, hungry times two. That’s never good. You about to get hangry, girl? Just tell me now so I can back out of the room slowly. No one needs to get hurt.”

  “Feeding me would be a wise option.”

  “Noted. Let’s see…we could cook? Or order more take out? Or actually put ourselves together and leave this abode?”

  “Shoot. Leaving…are you sure?”

  “I know, right? However, maybe we shouldn’t act like old hermits yet, since ya know... we’re not.”

  “Solid point. Where would you like to go?”

  “What if we went to Shaney’s? Have a do-over? Order some pub food. You can have multiple tankers and then take advantage of me when we get back home?”

  “Take advantage of you, huh? That would mean I would have to not have multiple tankers, because they’re kind of, well, tankers.”

  “Oh. Well that’s too bad. Guess you’ll have to take it easy tonight, and then be easy later.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I mean…please?”

  “Fiiiiine, I guess. If I have to take ad
vantage of you I will.”

  “Slow down hussy, don’t get crazy.”

  Like so many other times we find ourselves grinning at each other; I don’t know how he does this to me. Pulls my silliness from me like no other—makes me enjoy the smallest of moments without even trying. We’re so natural with each other, our back and forth, our affection, our ability to just be. I love that nothing has felt forced, or too big, or too much, or too scary.

  I’m like Goldie Locks over here, eating spoonful after spoonful of the most perfect bowl of Jude porridge. Delicious. Sweet. Hot, without burning off anything important; like my heart. But mostly, he makes me full in the best of ways.

  “Can I take a shower first? I’d like to look cute for our do-over, if that’s okay with you? I promise not to take too long.”

  Jude studies me for a moment; a flash of regret in his eyes.

  “Kar, you know that had nothing to do with you right? I’m just now realizing maybe I never fully addressed what I was thinking about on that first night we met. It was a fleeting, yet panicked moment that stemmed from my ex, Natalie. Natalie...well, her mission in our relationship was to spend enormous amounts of time making herself look perfect. Too perfect. Beyond normal. Only it was never for me.”

  “What do you mean, it was never for you?”

  “She dolled herself up so she could be on the prowl for someone better than me; while she was out with me. Clearly, I was clueless as to how much this affected me, until my favorite sister pointed it out. That conversation is what sprung the idea for the bar crawl in order to find you. Just everything has gotten so good and so fast that I realized---I apologized, but I never talked about it. It was reflex; a fear I didn’t even realize I was holding onto.”

  I lean over the bed to cup his face in my palms and look at him directly in his beautiful green eyes.

  “Jude, listen to me. Are you listening? Pay very close attention here.”