Now we’re back upstairs. Eli and I are in my mum and dad’s room with them, sitting on their bed watching TV while we figure out what we should do today. So far, I have refused to talk about what happened with Simon last night. To be honest, other than kicking myself for coming here at all, I haven’t dwelled on what happened with him. He’s history and he’s staying that way.
‘Can’t we have a day to take a breather?’ my dad asks. ‘Just to find our feet and relax.’
‘I don’t want to sit in this room all day,’ I say, my patience wearing thin. ‘And if I have to watch another second of Family Feud, we’re going to have a family feud of our own.’
I swear to God, the only thing on TV right now is Family Feud or Harry Potter movies.
‘Come on, sis,’ Eli says quietly. ‘It’s OK. We can all do something.’
‘We could go for lunch somewhere?’ I say.
‘I did see somewhere outside that advertised New York’s best pizza,’ my dad says.
‘I’m pretty sure they all say that, Tim,’ Eli replies. ‘But one of them has to be right, and I’m willing to try and figure out which one it is.’
‘It’s been a while since breakfast,’ my mum reasons. ‘I could eat. We can go there and plan what we’re going to do this week? And it would be nice to take a walk.’
‘Yes, great, let’s do it,’ I say, jumping to my feet. All I want to do it get outside.
‘Still not want to talk about it?’ Eli asks at a volume only I can hear as we make our way out of the room.
‘Still don’t want to talk about it,’ I confirm.
The first thing we do is head to Central Park for a stroll. It’s gorgeous, and it really does feel like being in a movie. I would be waiting for my meet-cute, were I not terrified of bumping into Simon. I know, the chances are slim, it’s just with him living on the edge of the park, maybe he comes over here to do yoga and ask the universe to help him stop being an arsehole? I haven’t heard anything from him since last night (not that I would want to, because he can’t possibly say anything to fix this) which just goes to show how insincere he was being.
After a nice walk, and a cold $8 churro, we finally make it out of the park at the other side, having not bumped into Simon thankfully, ready to begin our quest to find New York’s actual best pizza.
After passing a few places, we happen upon a restaurant called Mario’s. It looks so authentically Italian, and everyone inside has a strong, New York Italian accent, which we take as a definite sign of authenticity. Everything is green, white and red. The furniture, the table clothes, the uniforms – even the picture frames on the walls are a mixture of green, white and red. The pictures inside them are all of celebrities who have dined here. They are never huge celebrities, are they? Still, it’s a cool idea.
We sit down and order a couple of pizzas. When they arrive, the slices are bigger than our faces. I’m so happy, I could cry.
‘So, fair enough, this might be the only New York pizza I’ve tried,’ I start, ‘but I’m happy to sign off on this being New York’s best pizza, it’s incredible.’
‘Oh, it’s so good,’ Eli enthuses. ‘We don’t need to eat anywhere else the whole time we’re here.’
‘Thank you so much for bringing us here,’ my mum says. ‘To New York, not just for pizza.’
‘Yes, thanks, love,’ my dad says. ‘I know we’re only halfway through the holiday, but I’m having such a fantastic time, and it’s all thanks to you.’
It takes all my effort not to cry. They seem so happy, and it’s so sweet.
‘Most of all though,’ my mum starts, ‘it’s just so nice to spend time with you again – with both of you – but, with Rosie, it feels like we hardly see you these days, and I do worry about you, living alone.’
‘Can I move back in with you please?’ I blurt.
‘What?’ my mum replies.
‘Can I move back in with you? Just for a bit, until I sort my life out. I just… it’s been so great to spend time with you too, and I don’t want to be alone.’
‘Well, of course you can,’ my mum says. ‘You can live with us forever if you like.’ I’m pretty sure she means it. ‘Gosh, this is the best holiday ever. Now I’m excited to plan things, and I’m even more excited about when we get back home, having someone to talk to, someone to watch Bake Off with.’
‘You’ve had me all this time,’ my dad points out.
‘Yes, but you don’t talk, and all you do during Bake Off is complain about how you don’t like Paul Hollywood.’
‘Such a crush on Paul Hollywood,’ Eli says, biting his lip.
‘Don’t we all,’ my mum replies.
‘That’s why I don’t like him,’ my dad tells me with a smile.
‘So, where are we going while we are here?’ my mum asks. ‘Rosie, where do you want to go?’
‘To name a few places I’d love to visit – so we can work out what is possible – the Met, the Guggenheim, the Museum of Modern Art…’
‘Are these all museums?’ my dad whines.
I ignore his uncultured complaining and continue. ‘I’d love to go to the Strand bookstore, and Chelsea Market. I want to visit all of the cool TV and movie locations.’
‘Not seeing Simon again then?’ my mum asks curiously.
I’ve kept a dignified silence since I got back from dinner with Simon. I don’t suppose dignity has ever been my strong point though, has it?
‘I sincerely hope I never see Simon again,’ I tell them.
‘It didn’t go well then?’ my dad says. ‘Do you want me to have a word with him?’
I’m touched that my dad is willing to do this in theory although, in practice, I’m not sure how intimidating my daddy would be.
‘I just want to forget he exists,’ I say softly.
‘Rosie, let’s go and order milkshakes,’ Eli suggests. ‘That will cheer you up.’
I move my head from side to side thoughtfully. It might.
‘OK, come on, what happened?’ he asks once we’re alone.
‘Honestly, Eli, at first, he seemed amazing, like a dream come true.’
‘And then what happened?’ he asks.
‘Then he tried to kiss me. And he’s some sort of cosmic-ordering hippy type now, he thinks I was sent to him because we were supposed to be together… and when I didn’t seem into it, he thought that was the universe telling him that he needed to clear the air with me.’
‘The super hot ones are always super crazy,’ Eli says with a sigh. It sounds like he has been burned before. ‘It’s always the way.’
‘So, get this, he tells me that he was cheating on me when we were together!’
‘Well, we knew that one, didn’t we? That isn’t exactly a spoiler.’
‘How did we know that? We didn’t know that.’
‘Well, I knew it. And Josh knew it. It was blaringly obvious. I thought you did too, I thought you were just making excuses for him. It sounds to me like he worked you so hard back in the day, he left you doubting yourself, convinced you were wrong – that’s how cheaters work, that’s how they get away with it.’
‘Well, he does all that and then tells me that he’s going to tell the girls he is seeing that it is over, so, even if you could make a case for him having matured and grown into a better person, he’s still a cheater.’
‘A cheater never changes its spots,’ Eli reminds me.
‘Wait, so, if you were so sure that Simon was a bad egg, then why did you encourage me to go and see him?’
‘At first, when you showed me a picture of him and told me about him, he sounded amazing, and you sounded like you wanted a second chance from him, and I love you, you deserve one. But as I learned more about him from you, and from Josh, it became obvious that Simon was a dick. And Josh is so obviously the one for you. Come on, you know it. Don’t get caught up in who quit their job for whom and when. You’re being handed a dorky life vest, don’t try and figure out where it’s coming from, just put it on. So, when
you sent him packing yesterday morning, I knew you were making a mistake by going to see Simon… but I knew that you needed to figure it out for yourself.’
‘You’re like my fairy godmother,’ I tell him.
‘I’m pretty sure you calling me that is a hate crime,’ he replies with a smile. ‘Now that you’ve seen sense, can we please just figure out how we get Josh back on side?’
‘It’s funny, I was almost judging him for moving back in with his mum yesterday, now I’m doing the same.’
‘So, you’re going to be living in the same town,’ Eli points out. ‘Same town as me too.’
‘Naturally I’m hoping we’ll be best friends,’ I tell him.
‘We already are,’ he points out. ‘Now, Josh…’
I should never have left Josh on the ship the way I did. I don’t know if I was scared about falling for him again, worrying about the future, or what, but it’s easy to see now that it was the wrong thing to do. I have to find him and make things right. Whether he sent the flowers or not, he’s the person I should be with.
‘I think I might have an idea,’ I say. ‘But you might be a bit disappointed.’
‘Well, in that case, let me get this good news out of the way before I fall out with you,’ he jokes. ‘I was going to save this for after the holiday, when you’ve got the post-holiday blues, but I'm going to tell you now instead: I’ve got you a job.’
‘You’ve got me a job?’ I repeat back to him as a question.
‘I do,’ he says. ‘Have you heard of Viralist?’
‘Of course I have,’ I reply. ‘Super cool, contemporary news website – news, lifestyle, humour.’
‘Yeah, that’s the one. Well, I got you a job writing for them.’
I laugh.
‘No, you didn’t.’
‘Yes, I did,’ he replies.
‘How?’
‘I’m an image consultant,’ he reminds me. ‘I worked with your image, made it your brand, got you a gig with them off the back of your TV blunder – they love a viral star, and you’re one who can write. They want you to write for their love and lifestyle section. You’ll probably have to do an interview, but it’s just a formality.’
‘Am I qualified to write about love?’ I ask with an awkward laugh.
‘No, but you’re about to fix that,’ Eli reminds me. ‘So, will you take the job? It’s at their offices in Manchester, it really is the perfect gig for you.’
‘Of course I’ll take it,’ I say quickly. ‘Thank you, thank you so much.’ I throw my arms around him and plant a big smacker on his cheek.
‘You’re welcome,’ he says. ‘Now, tell me your plan.’
As I start to explain exactly how I’m going to make things right with Josh, I can’t help but feel fortunate to have Eli and my parents in my life. Even if Josh tells me to do one, I know that these guys will always have my back. Finding romantic love would be nice, of course it would, but the love that these guys have for me is something else. Anything else is just a bonus.
34
When you arrive in New York City, if you are anything like me, you will have this long list of things you want to do and places you want to visit. My list was overflowing with museums, shops, landmarks, movie and TV filming locations, restaurants – I wanted to pack so, so much into this week. One thing you quickly realise is that, no matter how hard it would be to try and whittle that list down, you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot possibly do everything, especially not in one week. You would need to visit New York for a long time, or multiple times, to fit everything in.
Still, even if you only have a week here, there is plenty you can squeeze in. Unfortunately for me, all I will be able to say about my holiday to New York is that I took a trip to Central Park, caught a fleeting glimpse at the Empire State Building, and ate (probably) New York’s best pizza. The reason for this is because I am heading home. Yes, little more than twenty-four hours after I arrived in New York, I was packing my bags to head home again.
I insisted that my mum, dad and Eli stick around and finish their holiday and then catch our booked flights back to England, not that they took much persuading. Well, my mum and dad didn’t. Eli, on the other hand would not be put off going home early with me. He said that we had started this journey together and that we were going to finish it together, and that we would have plenty of opportunities to visit New York again in the future. I told him that he was crazy, not just for abandoning the holiday, but for agreeing to travel back with me. I mean, who wants to spend another seven days at sea unless they absolutely have to?
It was touch and go, and we almost didn’t make it, but we managed to book ourselves a cabin on the Silverline cruise, from New York, back to Liverpool. We bought it from the on-site Silverline office where the oh-so helpful employee kept trying to put us off, treating us like we were idiots, explaining that this was a cruise aimed at much older clientele and that we might be happier doing something else. It took a lot of explaining and insisting before we were sorted. We practically ran towards the ship check-in area – and it really was like a scene out of Titanic. Yep, after a solid seven days of Titanic references, I get to spend another seven days making even more.
So now, here we are, on the Silverline cruise, sitting at our dinner table in our formal wear, waiting for our big plan to play out. I say big plan, it’s more of a rehashing of the old one.
We’ve nearly finished eating. This time, our tablemates are rather tame, compared to our previous voyage. There is married couple, Rob and Pamela, who are cruising to celebrate their retirement, twin ladies, Eleanor and Elizabeth, who have been going on holidays together their entire lives (they are in their eighties now) and then there is Mrs Rice – I don’t know her first name because she never gave us it – and next to her is an empty chair. We didn’t really get into it, because she very clearly didn’t want to talk about it, but it sounds like her husband must have died at some point between them booking the cruise and her being here today. It must have taken guts for her to come alone. People always seem much stronger than you think you can be yourself, don’t they? Mrs Rice is probably well into her eighties, so she and her husband must have grown old together. It’s a shame they didn’t get to take this trip like they had planned, but life rarely cares about your plans, does it? I’m just so amazed she’s here and living her life still. We could all learn a lot from Mrs Rice.
‘Is it weird that I miss Colin and Clive?’ I whisper to Eli. ‘Even Linda and Karen. They were all such characters.’
‘These guys do seem quite normal, don’t they? It’s very disconcerting.’
‘What I’d give to hear a weird anecdote about someone falling into the ocean while having sex,’ I joke.
‘I’m going to hazard a guess this trip feels a lot longer than the first one.’
‘It depends how tonight goes,’ I say. ‘I’m sure André will be pleased to see you, to spend a bit more time with you.’
‘I’m sure he will,’ Eli says. ‘He messaged me earlier, saying he was looking forward to the next time we saw each other. We didn’t make any plans or anything, we just said that we would keep in touch, and see each other again. Funny how things work out, isn’t it?’
‘Don’t start banging on about the universe course-correcting us, please,’ I insist. ‘I’ll throw up my salmon.’
‘Just make sure it isn’t in the pool,’ he teases. ‘You finished your dessert?’
I tilt my empty plate for Eli to see. ‘You know I have.’
‘OK, well, we’re missing the show, so come on, let’s go,’ he insists, jumping to his feet.
‘We’re going to catch the show,’ I tell the table. ‘Would anyone like to join us?’
Everyone just kind of stares at me, like I’ve just proposed something weird.
‘OK, see ya,’ I say awkwardly as I follow Eli.
‘You know how we assumed that on cruises you buddied up with your tablemates, and that’s why we kept hangin
g around with Colin, Clive, Linda and Karen?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Well, it turns out that’s not the done thing, I guess they just liked us – I think we might have liked them.’
Eli just laughs. ‘I, for one, will never forget their stories about the oil industry, I only wish they had told us more,’ Eli says sarcastically. ‘Now, come on, pick up the pace, the show will have already started.’
‘I thought the idea was to slink in late like last time.’
We are actually redoing day one of our cruise down to the last detail. We were kind of late getting on board: Eli complained all the way through the safety drill (although I don’t think that was to recreate last time, I think he just hated wearing the dorky life vest for an extended period of time while not being in any immediate danger of drowning), we are wearing the same outfits and now we’re rushing to catch Josh’s set. We’re a little later than last time (I remember him telling me that his sets rarely differed). I know this because he’s well into his rendition of ‘Feeling Good’ already.
‘Quick, behind the pillar,’ Eli says.
Now we’re in position, hiding behind a pillar in the bar, just like we did that first time I saw him again, when I lurked here and stared at him, marvelling at how amazing he looked and how good he sounded. Today is no exception, only somehow he looks even more attractive to me. I suppose, having spent the past week with him, rediscovering our connection, reigniting our flame, I’ve completely fallen for him all over again. He’s such an amazing man, why would I get so hung up on why he was giving up ship life to move back to Manchester when all I should have been doing was thanking my lucky stars that he was?
There’s something about his performance this time… He would always give it his all, but I don’t know, it’s like he’s found a little something extra to throw into it. Perhaps because it’s his last cruise, he’s just making the most of it. He really is such an amazing singer, even if he moves back home, he should never give up on doing what he loves, not when he’s so good at it.
My Great Ex-Scape Page 21