by Blair Young
“The report I have says that there was insufficient evidence for the police to file any charges against Chad, and he was released as a result. Are you sure you’re telling me everything I should know about this situation?” the counselor looked at me hard, but I didn’t flinch.
I was tired of the teachers and counselors acting like this was some sort of retaliation against Chad. I didn’t have anything to do with what he did to me, except for be the victim of the offense.
It bothered me to think that they would assume I would try to ruin someone’s life with such an accusation. I knew that it could have serious consequences, and though that wasn’t the reason I had kept the incident to myself in the first place, it did cross my mind when the truth finally did come out.
To think that someone would assume I would just do this for attention – or to get back at Chad for something – really struck a nerve. I was a fighter, and I wasn’t going to just let the world kick me around, but at the same time, I wasn’t the kind of person who would go out and try to ruin someone’s life for any reason.
If there was anyone in school who would deserve me getting revenge on them, it was Molly for the way she had tortured me since we were little more than little kids. But, I let her go. I didn’t have anything to do with her. And I felt Chad would be the same way in my life.
Damon was the one who brought this all out into the open, but I was the one who had to deal with it. It didn’t matter to the rest of the kids that he kept telling them he was the one who turned Chad in. They had me pinned as the one who had tried to get him arrested and ruin his life, and no matter what happened, they were going to pick on me because of it.
Even kids I didn’t have anything to do with would tease me, or they would give me more space then necessary in the hall. It seemed those who weren’t directly involved with Chad didn’t want to be caught even close to me for fear of getting drawn into the ridicule.
It was just as well in my mind. I knew school was coming to an end, and I wanted to put as much space as possible between me and the rest of the kids. I didn’t want to make new friends. I was happy with Abby and Damon, and they were going to be there for me through the rest of the year.
Damon, actually, even beyond that. I didn’t need others to fill my time. I had more important things to do.
And for now, I was just trying to get through all the counseling sessions the teachers and Susan were forcing me to attend. Not only did I have to go back and see my old counselor from before, but I also had to attend the school’s counseling sessions, just to make sure thins were going as well as they hoped.
The truth was, they weren’t, but through the years of being forced to attend the counseling sessions, I had learned how to handle myself. I could say what they wanted to say, and I did what they wanted me to do, and for the most part, I was left alone as a result.
Ultimately, that’s what I wanted, so I would go through the motions to make them feel like they were doing something good for me, when I was just telling them what they wanted to hear.
“I’ve told you the truth,” I said. “There’s nothing else to add. I didn’t make the report in the first place, and I didn’t make any of this up. Damon was the one who went to the cops about it.”
“But you refused to elaborate when you were asked for your own statement,” the counselor said. It was true. When the cop asked me if I had anything I wanted to add, I refused. I didn’t want to get involved, and I hoped they would be able to handle it without me actually having to be part of the process.
I didn’t exactly regret now that I had let him get off so easily, but I wondered if I had made the right decision insisting Damon had it under control. Dean and Susan were willing to take the whole thing to court, but I didn’t want it to get that big.
I just wanted the whole thing to blow over, really, and the sooner that happened, the better. But, I didn’t realize by doing what I did that it was all going to be swept under the rug and Chad was going to get off without so much as a slap on the hand.
Of course, it had to be embarrassing and a real blow to him to have to deal with being arrested and all that went along with that, but that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t get in trouble for what he did, and he really should have. Dean was right, Chad was a predator, and there was no way for any of us to know how far it would go.
He was used to getting away with doing whatever he wanted. Just like Molly and the rest of the kids she hung out with. They were born into rich families, and they ruled the world. They were spoiled kids as far as I was concerned, and they never really did know the true meaning of need.
Even before Molly had all the money she did, she was better off than I ever was. I remembered her house when I was a kid, and how much nicer all her things were than mine. Not to mention, she had her own parents – her real parents there to raise her, and that made a world of difference in my book.
Not that I didn’t love my parents for who they were, but to know that my real mother didn’t want me and had put me up for adoption hurt, and I still wondered what happened that made her do such a thing. She had given up her own child, and I had to forever wonder why.
“I recommend you stay away from Chad and anyone who is close to him as much as possible,” the counselor said. “I understand that you believe this all happened, and I know it has to be difficult to accept that he’s going to be let off and back in school, but without evidence, they can’t really do anything.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
“I would like to see you again before the end of the week,” she wrote an appointment on a slip of paper and handed it to me. “Give this to your teacher and I’ll see you Friday.”
“Thanks,” I said as I put the paper in my pocket. I wasn’t looking forward to coming back on Friday, but at least I did get school credit for it. And, the more time I spent in the office, the less time I was out in the hall or in class where I might see Chad.
It was the end of the day, and I was going to walk home with Abby. She had caught up to me at lunch and asked me to come over. Though the house was still being packed and her mother wasn’t happy with guests coming over when it looked like that, Abby decided she wanted to have me over anyway.
“I know you’ve been through a lot the past week, and I want to have some girl time,” she said.
Of course, I was more than happy to accept. I didn’t want to go home with Dean and Susan there, and I could use some Abby time. She was waiting in the hall for me as I walked out of the office, and she smiled as she hurried over and slipped her arm around mine.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“It’s therapy,” I said with a shrug. “It went how it always goes.”
“Sucks,” Abby sighed. “But at least you’re not going to have to do this forever.”
“I’m glad about that,” I said with a nod. “I’m getting sick of it already.”
“You better watch your back!”
“We know what you did!”
“Get out of here, you whore!”
Three kids were shouting at me from the other side of the hall, and I turned to give them a snide reply when Abby pulled on me. “Ignore them. They’re Chad’s cronies, and you know there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make them take your side.”
Reluctantly, I agreed. She was right. Anyone who was already on Chad’s side was going to stay that way, and I was forever going to be the bad guy. But, it still hurt to have them yell those things for everyone to hear, and to know the teachers weren’t going to do anything about it.
We walked quickly out of the school, but I kept wondering what the kid meant when he said to watch my back. Could Chad have been behind that note that was in my locker? The threatening one that told me to stop looking for my real mother?
Susan was the one who had come to me to tell me the truth, but Chad didn’t know that. No one did. Shoot, I was pretty sure not even Dean knew the truth on that front. But still, that was a threat that he gave me, and it
would only make sense it was all coming from Chad.
And Damon was till convinced he was the one who had destroyed the bike. Perhaps Chad was a lot more dangerous than I had even realized. He certainly could get away with murder in these halls, so maybe he was still trying to get revenge on me for turning him down that night – and for his friendship with Damon coming to an end.
I swallowed hard, thinking about what he might do now that he was back in school. He was really angry about the arrest, and he blamed me for it. I knew he was afraid of Damon, but what if he caught me when Damon wasn’t around. I tightened my grip on Abby’s arm, keeping step with her.
If I stayed with her or Damon, I would be fine. But, that wasn’t always possible. I’d just have to be extra careful when I was walking home from school, and maybe I’d talk to Susan about getting us a car soon. I didn’t want Chad to catch me when I was alone.
But I had a feeling, he would be looking for the chance to do it.
There was a lump in my throat as I looked around Abby’s house. It was so bare, so packed up with boxes but also cleared of many of the boxes that had been laying around the last time I walked her home. I knew she was moving, but the sight of the boxes everywhere only made it all the more real.
“Girls!” Abby’s mother appeared. “I made cookies! I thought you could both use a bit of a pick-me-up considering.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Abby said as she gave her mother a hug. I was surprised when her mom also came over and hugged me tightly.
“Abby told me about all the things that’ve been going on at school. Can you ever catch a break?” she said with a shake of her head.
“Right?” I agreed. “I’m going to get through it. I just wish things would get better. But they only seem to be getting worse. I mean, the more I feel like I’m going to get ahead, the more things like this happen.”
“That’s life,” her mom said with a sigh, and I felt bad. I knew it had to be hard for her to lose everything, but she was clearly trying to make the best of the situation. She wanted to keep things as normal as possible for Abby, but of course, Abby’s life had changed forever.
There was no way she was going to be able to afford any of the schools she’d been wanting to get in to, and now, she was leaving Secret Bay, too. And there wasn’t anything either one of them could do about it. I could only imagine it would be hard for her to know that her father was going to be in prison for years to come, and she was going to have to fight for just a chance at a comfortable life because of what he’d done.
And yet, they were still so welcoming and positive toward me. It was inspirational, that was for sure.
“Come on, let’s go hang out in my room. That’s still pretty much a mess,” Abby said with a laugh. We took a plate of cookies back to her bedroom, which still looked very much like it had. “We’ve been waiting until the last minute to do our rooms. We want to keep things normal as long as possible.”
“Makes sense,” I said. When she closed the door, it was almost like nothing had changed at all. I had spent so much time in her room with her the first few months of school, it was hard to believe she wasn’t going to be living here anymore.
But, we could forget about all that for now. It was just the two of us with our cookies and Netflix. No boys, no Molly, no drama. And it was a lot of fun. It had been so long since the two of us could just be teenagers, I didn’t think the afternoon could last long enough.
When it was time for me to go, I felt better. I felt like Abby and I could keep our friendship despite her moving and me going to Harvard. And, I knew Abby felt the same way. She hugged me tight before I left, slipping a bracelet into my hand. It was a bracelet I’d seen her wear many times before, but she now wanted me to have it.
“To remember me always,” she said with tears in her eyes. “Never get rid of it.”
With tears in my eyes, I pulled her close as I slipped the bracelet over my wrist. I hugged her tight in return, promising her I would keep it with me forever.
“I’ll never get rid of it. Ever.”
Chapter 24
Sutton
“Sutton, you have to go to school,” Susan said. “I know it’s hard for you to be there right now, and I’m doing what I can with the principle to make sure you don’t have to be around Chad, but I can’t let you skip out on the last couple months of the year.”
“I don’t feel safe there!” I shot back. “All the kids are bullying me, and some are threatening me, and I just don’t want to go!”
“You’ve got to finish out the rest of the year if you’re going to have a hope of getting into college,” Dean said. “You can’t drop out your senior year of high school and think you’re going to get into any college worth going to, let alone one of the most expensive schools you could have possibly chosen.”
I ignored Dean. I didn’t pick Harvard for the price, I picked it for the courses that they offered. I wanted to have a good degree, and I wanted to take that into the rest of my life. Sure, it was going to cost a lot of money to get the degree, but I didn’t want Dean to keep telling me that was the reason why I had chosen that school.
On the other hand, I did want to make a point. So, ignoring what he said, I merely pointed out adults don’t behave like kids. “When I get to Harvard, all of this other stuff is going to go away, and I’m not going to have to deal with it anymore.”
“You’re not even going to get in if you drop out now,” he said with a shrug. “Tell her, Susan.”
“You do need to finish out the year and graduate,” Susan said gently. “I know it’s really hard for you to be there, but you do have to just push through. I’m doing everything I can, trust me.”
“I don’t see why I have to go to that school to finish,” I said. “I can do all my studies right here at home. I don’t mind. I do want to get to college, and it’s not the schooling itself that bothers me. It’s all the other kids and the bullies.”
Susan paused. I got the impression she hadn’t thought about it that way before, and she now drummed her finger against her lip. “You know, you might be on to something with that. I’m going to look into it and see if we can get the rest of your courses done right here at the house.”
“Susan, you can’t be serious! First you let her just walk all over you with the school she chose, now you’re going to let her just stop going to high school!” Dean snapped. “Next thing you’re going to just hand her over the house!”
“Stop it!” Susan snapped right back at Dean, much to my surprise. “I know how to raise these kids, and I’m going to do what I feel is best for them. Sutton doesn’t deserve to be forced to go to a school where she doesn’t feel safe! I’m not going to let you push her to go, either! There are plenty of kids who are homeschooled who end up going to great colleges, and I’m going to do what I can to help!”
“You can’t just homeschool a student right in the middle of the year!” Dean argued.
“You don’t know that!” Susan shot back. “You already talked me out of taking her to see the college campus she wanted to see, and I’m not going to let you talk me out of this, too. I can figure something out, I’m sure of it.”
“Really?” I asked, my eyes wide. I was surprised not only that she was so willing to stand up to dean, but my heart raced at the thought of being able to stay home. I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullies, and I could focus on my studies without any distraction.
Abby wasn’t at school as much as she had been anyway, and I could always go hang out with her at her house afterward.
“As long as you promise to keep going to the counseling sessions that I schedule for you, I can see what I can do to get you to finish out the rest of the year here,” Susan said. “I can’t promise that it’s going to happen right away, and you are going to have to keep going to class in the meantime, but I’m going to move as fast as I can to get it done for you, okay?”
“Deal!” I said enthusiastically.
Dean clearly wasn’t happy abo
ut the arrangement, and he didn’t bother even trying to hide how he felt, but I didn’t care. I was so relieved at the chance to get out of that place earlier than I thought, I was willing to agree to a lot.
I might not like those counseling sessions, but it was better than seeing Chad.
And I’d do just about anything to never have to see him again.
“And how do you feel about that?” the counselor asked.
“I don’t think it’s fair,” I replied. “It seems that I’m never going to get justice for anything that’s done against me in life, and everyone else is just allowed to be set free.”
“I know it’s frustrating, but you know that justice comes for everyone, even if it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen at first, I can promise you that it’s going to come. Chad isn’t going to get away with that kind of behavior forever.”
“He’s gotten away with it now, though,” I said. “Just like the person who killed my parents. They just get to do these terrible things, and go on with their lives as though nothing bad has been done. And the police and everyone else just let them walk free! It’s not fair!”
“It’s good that you are letting out your emotions,” the counselor said. “I know it can be really hard to talk about these things, and I’m proud of you for being so open about it.”
“It’s not that I’m being open, it’s that I’m angry that this is the way things are,” I said. I didn’t want to snap at her, but I didn’t want her to think that I was getting anything out of telling her how I felt. I was angry that I had to be here, and it didn’t help going back over all the things that were hurting me.
I knew she thought if I were to talk about them and process them, I might work through them, but the fact of the matter was that I felt like I kept ripping the scabs off things that could scar if I just let them alone. But, there was no letting any of this alone.
The counselor had made me talk about Chad, and how I felt about what he did to me, then how I felt about the fact he was just let back into the school. She wanted to talk about how I had been coping with Susan, and how I felt knowing that Susan was my real mother. She wanted to know how I felt about Abby moving, and the fact that my parents still hadn’t received justice for their death.