“Sure you guys don’t want any wine?” asked Mark, holding up the bottle and preparing to pour.
“Nah,” said Johnny. “I’m trying to take it easy these days.”
“Now that’s a relief,” said Mary. “I saw those pictures of you at that prison a few months back.”
Johnny shook his head ruefully. “Still can’t believe I ended up at freaking Alcatraz.”
“At least you were at a jail where you could come and go as you wanted,” said Mark with a smirk.
“No kidding,” said Johnny. “Anyway, between that and the hangover I had, I’m pretty confident I made the right decision in giving up booze for a while.”
“And what about you, sweetheart?” asked Mary. “Just not much of a drinker?”
My stomach tensed. Anything that came out of my mouth that didn’t involve the word “baby” would be a lie.
I was torn. I didn’t want to share the news without talking to Johnny about it, but at the same time, I wasn’t crazy about the idea of lying to Johnny’s parents.
What if I were to tell them and they were furious?
Time seemed to draw out as I scanned my mind for some kind of answer that would make the question go away.
“You okay over there?” asked Mark.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah,” I said. “Just…ate a lot is all.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Johnny looking at me with concerned eyes. Deep down, I hoped that he could tell what I was thinking.
“Well, let me clear the table,” said Mary. “Got some pie from that bakery you love downtown, Johnathan.”
“Dutch apple?” he asked, his face lighting up in a way I could only describe as adorable.
“Dutch apple,” Mary confirmed as she collected the plates. “With ice cream and caramel.”
“You sure know how to make a guy glad he came home, Mom,” said Johnny.
The feeling of tension in my gut didn’t go away. I was totally unsure of what to do.
“You need to lie down, Kendra?” asked Mark. “You look a little pale.”
My heart began to thud in my chest, and my skin grew cold. I had no idea why I was having such a reaction. All I needed was to spin out a little lie and it would all go away.
But I didn’t want to lie. I’d done enough of that over the last few months. What would Johnny say if I spilled the news?
Then, I felt something. It was a pressure on my leg under the table that I recognized right away as Johnny’s hand. He gave my leg a gentle squeeze, and I glanced up to see him regarding me with warm, knowing eyes.
I could tell instantly that he knew what was on my mind. And what’s more, the look on his face seemed to have a clear message: “It’s okay. You can tell them.”
Relief moved over me like a cool breeze. But now the hard part was here. I took Johnny’s hand under the table and gave him another squeeze. By this point, Mark and Mary could tell that there was something going on, and they both watched me with careful expressions.
“There’s another piece of news other than the fact that Johnny and I are together,” I said.
Though as I spoke the words, I had no idea if that was even true. Johnny had told me that he was going to do right by me, but I still didn’t know if that meant he was going to be with me as we raised the baby together, or what.
But I went on. “I’m…pregnant.”
And there it was. The words had been spoken; the news was out in the open. Nothing to do now but wait for the reactions.
Mary’s expression turned from one of concern right back to that warm, easy face she’d had on since I’d come in.
“Oh, honey,” she said. “I know.”
Wait, what?
“Huh?” I said, the word tumbling out of my mouth.
“Wait a minute,” said Johnny. “You know?”
Mary chuckled, and Mark did the same.
“Of course, I knew!” she said. “We both did.”
“But how?” asked Johnny. “We haven’t told anyone.”
“Johnathan,” said Mary. “You think a woman who’s had two kids can’t spot a pregnant woman from a mile away? I could tell the second I saw you waddle to the chair in the living room.”
“Yeah, it was pretty obvious,” said Mark, a smile on his face too. “You look just like Mary when she was…hmm, about five months pregnant?”
“That’s right!” I said. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was so relieved that I could hardly stand it.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” asked Johnny.
“We both wanted to see how long it would take you to tell us,” said Mark.
“And it’s more fun to hear it from the mouths of the parents-to-be,” said Mary. “So, congratulations!”
Mary let out a shriek of joy as she ran over and threw her arms around me. I got up out of my chair and hugged her right back. Mark congratulated Johnny before coming over and giving me a hug of his own.
Once the congratulations had gone all around, the four of us moved into the living room where Mary soon entered with plates piled high with pie and ice cream. Now that the anxiety had faded, my usual pregnant-lady hunger returned, and I happily dug into my dessert.
“There are seconds if you want them,” said Mary.
“Oh, I think I do,” I said once I’d dabbed up the last bit of caramel with my fingertip and placed it on my tongue.
“That’s what I want to hear,” said Mark with a smile. “A hungry mom-to-be is a healthy mom-to-be.”
Mary took my plate and headed into the kitchen. Moments later she returned with a fresh slice, a big scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side.
“So,” said Mark. “I suppose there’s one more elephant in the room.”
Johnny and I exchanged a glance. There sure was.
“You mean what’s going on between Kendra and me?” he asked.
Mary nodded, and Mark looked on with interest.
I couldn’t even begin to answer the question. And it didn’t seem like my call to make. I knew that no matter what, I was going to be raising this kid. Whatever role Johnny wanted to play in all of that was his decision.
Still, that didn’t mean I wasn’t very curious to hear what he had to say on the matter.
A thoughtful look took hold of his handsome features.
“We’re still figuring all that out,” he said. “This was some really sudden news, and I’ve still got the tour and everything else.”
Mary nodded sagely.
“You’ll work it out,” she said. “The thing about babies is they tend to make the important stuff very clear, very quickly.”
And that was that.
It was an answer, but not one that put the question to rest for me. Still, it was probably the best I was going to get for now. He was right about this being sudden news; it’d only been a day since I’d dropped the baby bomb on him.
“Well,” said Mark. “I think it’s about time for the old folks to get to bed. Johnny, your room upstairs is still how it’s always been.”
“I keep telling you both you can turn it into a normal guest room,” he said.
“Maybe someday,” said Mary. “But for now, it’s all yours.”
Johnny’s parents said their goodnights, and soon it was just Johnny and me.
“Room’s all yours,” he said, grabbing a pillow next to him and fluffing it up.
Us sleeping in bed together was another issue that we hadn’t really addressed. He’d crashed on the couch at my apartment last night, and the subject hadn’t really been discussed.
Part of me wanted him in bed at my side, his strong arms wrapped about my body. But another part wanted space so I could think about all of this. And since he’d already made the call, I decided to go along with it.
“Night,” I said.
He gave me a warm smile.
“Good night,” he said. “You did great today.”
“Thanks,” I said.
I did my best to hide it, but his words really
made me feel good.
“Let me show you my room,” he said.
“Sure.”
He led me up the narrow, picture-lined staircase that took us to the second floor.
“You were such a cute kid,” I said, noting the pictures of Johnny back when he was much, much younger.
“No kidding,” he said. “What the hell happened?”
I grinned at his corny joke, and we were soon at the entrance to his room. It was a small space with a slanted roof, the window looking out over the long stretch of the backyard. Posters for rock bands from the ’70s and ’80s were hung up here and there, and an old, worn acoustic guitar was in the corner.
“Damn,” I said. “This is really your room.”
“It’s really my room,” he said. “Feels even smaller than it used to.”
His arms spanned the bedroom door as he looked into the space. The bed was a single, so being by myself was actually a pretty good idea. Though we could make it work. We’d just have to get very, very close.
And that would’ve been more than fine with me.
“You need anything else?” he asked.
There was something I could think of. But I didn’t want to say it out loud.
“No,” I said. “I think I’m good.”
I stood in front of him for several long moments, my eyes locked onto his. Part of me wanted to say screw it all and kiss him. But I didn’t.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He gave me one more smile before shutting the door behind him and leaving me alone.
I got ready for bed and climbed under the covers. The last thought in my mind before I fell fast asleep was me wondering if he wanted me to kiss him as badly as I wanted to.
Chapter 35
Kendra
I awoke to an unmistakable sound—the pitter-pattering of small feet. My eyes opened slowly, and at first, I wondered if I was in the middle of some dream, one about me already having given birth to our baby, the kid already walking and running around.
But as I came back into the waking world, I realized that it was no dream; there were really kids running around out there. I slowly sat up, my belly making it not as easy to get around as it used to be. I checked my phone and saw that it was actually pretty early—only a little after seven. I felt well-rested and refreshed, ready to get to the bottom of the mystery of why there were small children in the house.
I threw on some clothes and opened the bedroom door, running and carrying on happening right outside. I stopped short when I saw what was on the other side. It was a little boy, no older than four, stopped in his tracks and staring up at me with the same dark hair and piercing blue eyes as Johnny.
“Hey there!” I said brightly.
“Hey,” he said, clearly not having expected to see anyone appear right next to him.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Parker,” he said in that same flat tone.
“I’m Kendra,” I said, sticking out my hand. “Nice to meet you.”
His eyes locked onto my hand, and he stared at it as if I’d just handed him something totally random, like a big banana.
Before he could react in any other way, another kid ran up, this kid with blond hair, but those same blue eyes. He appeared to be a little older, maybe around six.
“What’re you doing?” the new kid asked the other one. “Why are you just standing there?”
“I don’t know,” said Parker before turning away from me as though I wasn’t even there and taking off after the other kid.
“Okay…” I said out loud, not quite sure to make of what had happened.
The kids turned a corner and were gone. Not knowing what else to do, I headed downstairs, the sounds of lively chatter coming up from the kitchen. I went into the room to see Johnny, his parents, and a woman I didn’t know. She was slender and pretty, with dark hair and ice-blue eyes. She looked just like the first kid in the hallway, and just like Johnny.
“Hey!” she said brightly, a big smile on her face. “Good morning!”
“Morning,” I said.
“There she is,” said Mark, getting up and heading to the coffee pot. “Have a seat—I’ll grab you some coffee. How do you take it?”
“A little cream,” I said. “If that’s okay.”
“I think I can handle that,” said Mark.
“How’d you sleep?” asked Mary.
“Great,” I said. Then I pointed upstairs.
“Those kids…” I said, not sure how else to put it.
“Oh, those are mine,” said the dark-haired girl.
For a brief moment, a nightmare scenario appeared in my head. What if this was some woman Johnny had dated years back, some hometown girl he had kids with? Is this how I was going to learn about it?
“Cass,” said Johnny. “Are you going to introduce yourself or make Kendra wonder what’s going on?”
The dark-haired girl tapped her forehead with her palm and shook her head.
“Shoot,” she said. “Sorry.”
She got up and stuck her hand out to me. “I’m Cassie, Johnny’s sister.”
Oh man. The relief to end all relief washed over me. This made far more sense than my imagined situation; the girl was a spitting-image of Johnny, after all.
“But you can just call me Cass,” she went on. “Everyone does.”
“Kendra,” I said, shaking her hand. “The kids are yours, you said?”
“Yep,” she said, the sounds of running footsteps thudding on the floor above us. “The little hell-raisers are mine. Hope they didn’t wake you up. They can be a little rowdy.”
“Nope,” I said, sliding into one of the open chairs. “The younger one’s name is Parker?”
“Yep,” she said. “Parker’s four, and Mason turns seven next month.”
It was so strange seeing Cass next to Johnny. They totally looked like siblings, but while Johnny was all tattoos and edge, Cass was more, well, normal. Judging by her rings, she was married. Here were two siblings whose lives had gone in totally opposite directions.
Then again, I considered, placing my hand on my belly. Maybe not too opposite for long.
“I hope you don’t mind,” said Johnny, “but when she stopped by, I couldn’t wait to tell her the news.”
“Oh, my God!” said Cass, reaching over and throwing her arms around me. “I can’t believe it. And you’re going to be a mom. How excited are you?”
“Pretty excited,” I said. “And a little nervous.”
“That’s totally normal,” she said. “I was a bundle of nerves before I had Mason. But once he’s out and in your arms…there’s nothing else like it. You’re seriously going to wonder what your life was like before the little guy. Or girl. Johnny told me you’re waiting to be surprised.”
Mark set a cup of coffee in front of me and took a seat. Anxiety began to creep over me, but before I could let it take hold, I felt the touch of Johnny’s hand on mine under the table. Instantly, I felt better. The man was magic, able to set my nerves at ease with a single touch.
“I’m sure you’re right,” I said. “But right now, I’m just taking it one day at a time.”
“Well, at least you’ve got Johnny here with you. I still can’t believe my little brother’s going to be a dad. Part of me was thinking that he was going to be one of those rockers who never grew up—no offense.” She flashed him a smile.
“None taken,” he said. “I’d been starting to wonder the same thing.”
We all quickly fell into lively conversation, Mary making us a delicious breakfast of eggs and French toast as the kids came down to join us. Over the course of the conversation, I learned that my suspicions, about Cassie being the more “normal” of the siblings, were true; while Johnny went off to Portland and started his rock career, she stayed in Pine Bluff and became a mom. And she loved it.
“I can’t wait for us to get to know each other better,” she told me. “And I just know the kids are goi
ng to be best buds right out of the gate.”
“Let’s get this kid out happy and healthy before we start thinking about stuff like that,” said Johnny.
His phone buzzed on the table, and he frowned as he looked at the screen.
“Okay,” he said. “Hate to cut the fun short, but we need to get a move on back to Seattle. Got a show in Portland soon and my manager’s blowing up my phone wanting me to get back to town.”
“But you just got here!” Mary wailed.
“We’ll be back soon,” said Johnny. “Don’t you all worry about that.”
I helped Mary clean up in the kitchen as Cassie and Johnny caught up, the kids playing with Mark. When we were done, we gathered up our things and prepared to head out.
“Thank you so much for having me,” I said to the family. “I can’t wait to see you all again soon.”
“Oh, trust us,” said Mary, Mark’s arm wrapped around her waist. “Three months from now you’ll be wondering how to get us to leave you alone.”
We said our goodbyes and soon enough, we were on the road.
“Hope you don’t mind, but I told Josh I’d swing by and play a couple of songs,” said Johnny.
I smiled. “I don’t mind.”
“Listen,” said Johnny. “You were great. I knew you would be, but damn, they really loved you.”
“Really?” I asked. “I don’t feel like I did anything special.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. “You were sweet and warm and just damn good company. I think you’re so used to how you are that you don’t even realize how nice it is to be around you.”
Warmth spread out from my heart. The man seemed to always know the right thing to say.
“And I’m sure the fact that you aren’t a surly chick with neck tattoos and a bull-nose ring piercing didn’t hurt, either,” he said with a grin.
“Never too late,” I said.
There was a silence, and I could tell that Johnny wanted to say something but seemed to not know quite how.
“Listen,” he said. “My little set I’m about to play.”
“What about it?” I asked.
“I’ve been working on some new stuff. Some things I think you might like. But the last song in particular—it’s something that you haven’t heard before.”
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