by Erin Trejo
“Glad you’re on board. We can take out two birds with one stone in a few days.” I smirk at Vic’s choice in words.
“You all poetic and shit now?”
“When I need to be.” He smiles. “I never wanted to hurt you or you girl, Lynx. I was happy for you, brother. You deserved a life that you wanted, not one he threw at you. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
I swallow hard, the knowledge that I’ve fucked up a lump in my throat. I should have known better than to think that it was on Vic. He’s been my best friend since he joined this club. “I didn’t think shit would ever come to this, brother. I never thought he’d play us all against each other. I feel like such a fuck up even thinkin’ you had shit to do with any of it,” I tell him as he shakes his head.
“Don’t do that, man. You’re smart, strong. Your dad made shit happen this way - not you, not me. I get it. I really do. Let’s just handle business and get you back to your girl.”
Chapter 28
Harper
“This is a bad idea,” Chip says for the hundredth time. I roll my eyes and load another bag into the trunk.
“I didn’t ask you that, Chip.” Ignoring him, I move back around him and grab my other bag.
“I know you didn’t but this isn’t smart. I get why you’re going and all, but I wish to God I never told you where he was, Harper.”
I spin around and glare at him with hatred in my eyes. How dare he? Why wouldn’t he want me to know? “What the hell, Chip? I thought you were my friend?” God, I’m so hormonal.
“I am, Harper, which is why you shouldn’t be doing this! He’s back at the club. You can’t go there.”
“I need these papers signed, Chip. He can have his life back; I’m done. I just don’t want my baby to have anything to do with those people. This is my baby. All I’m doing is having him sign off on his rights and that’s it. I’m staying here, Chip. This is my home. I can’t take anymore from him,” I say softly, my heart breaking a little more inside of me.
After searching for a while, Chip found out where Lynx was. It broke my heart in two. He’s been there this whole time, never looking back. He hasn’t contacted me or come to see me, not even a text to see how I was doing. I took that as the obvious sign that he was done with me, with us. He doesn’t want this baby or me and I’ve come to terms with that over the last four months. As this baby grows inside of me, I’ve realized that I don’t need him in my life. I only need her. My baby girl. I’ll be her mother and father. I will be everything she needs, but this is the last piece of my puzzle. I don’t want Lynx to come back around and think he can play daddy later if that’s what he decides. I want him gone from our lives. For good.
“Harper, I get it. I do. But going there? That’s a bad idea after everything that’s happened don’t you think?”
I shake my head. “No. I think it’s the best idea. I want this over and done with. I want to move on. I’m due in less than a month, Chip. He wants that as his life, then he can have it, but I need to finish this. You have to be able to understand that.” Chip moves closer as tears fill my eyes. He pulls me into a hug and holds me close.
“I do get it, honey. I do. I just don’t want you out there alone. I don’t think any of us will be able to handle it if something happens to you. Let me come with you,” he whispers as he runs his hand up and down my back. I pull away and shake my head once more.
“No. I can’t rely on you guys for everything. You’re my best friends and you all mean the world to me, but I can’t. I need to do this myself. I need that closure not just for me but for her,” I say as I rub my hand over the bump. Chip smirks at me when Josie comes out with a cooler.
“I made you snacks. You have to eat. She needs to eat. You both need to eat,” she says in a rushed tone, putting the cooler in the front seat.
“I don’t think I’ll need that much food,” I say, placing my hands on my hips and giving her a look.
“That is a growing baby in there,” she snaps, pointing at my stomach. I laugh. She frets about us both so much.
“Yeah, and if I keep eating like this, she’s going to be a toddler before she comes out. I can’t push out a twenty-pound baby,” I remind her as we both laugh. She grabs me quickly pulling me into a hug and holding tight.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“It’s not forever, Josie. I’m coming back in a few days.”
“I know, but I still don’t want you to go. You’ve been my baby since you got here,” she teases with a giggle.
“I promise I’ll let you change my diapers as soon as I get back,” I tell her. Josie pulls back and slaps my arm playfully while she laughs.
“You sure you don’t want us to come with you? We can close the bar down for a few days. It won’t hurt,” she adds.
“Are you insane? You got that county star coming in two days! You can’t waste that publicity to be sitting in a car with me! Have you lost your mind? Besides, I want his autograph and you better get it!” I warn her with a grin.
Josie laughs and steps back when Stan moves closer. I feel like I’m saying goodbye forever when in fact it’s only a few days. This is just something I need to do on my own and get out of the way. I feel like it’s a huge step for me to be able to move on with my life once again. I’m reclaiming my independence.
“We’re only a phone call away. I want to know when you get there and when you leave, got it?” I smirk and nod.
“Yes, Dad. I got it. I’ll call as soon as I get there, I promise.”
“And don’t let him give you any shit. He starts to get on edge, you leave. Understand?”
How could I not love these people?
“I got it. I promise. If he doesn’t want to sign it, I’ll leave. I’ve already talked to the lawyer about all that. It’s just easier this way if he’ll sign it.”
“Fine. Get out of here before Josie jumps in the damn trunk to go with you.” Stan laughs. He’s joking, but not really.
“I’ll be fine,” I say, looking between the three of them. In my life, I’ve had love. I’ve had heartache and pain. But I’d never had a family. These three standing in front of me are my family. They are everything I could have asked for. I climb in the car and pull out as they wave and watch me.
Turning the radio on I hum to myself as I drive. This is the right choice. This is what I need to do no matter how many times I’ve told myself that this is wrong. It isn’t. He’s gone. He’s been gone for months now without a single word, yet because of him I feel stronger than I ever have. I feel like I can take on the world and conquer it. Lynx has made me weak but he’s also made me strong. Living my life without him was hard, but in the end I found out who I was and what I was made of. He may have been a bump in the road on my path in life but he made a huge impression. After I get him to sign off on his rights, I can move forward. I will be the mother that I never had. I’ll be the person that my daughter can always rely on. I’ll be there for her and comfort her, I will lay down my life and die for her if need be. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this little girl growing inside of me.
“One last stop and we’re free, baby girl,” I whisper as I run my hand over my stomach.
Chapter 29
Lynx
Two shots. That’s all it will take. Turning the gun on a man that I used to call my brother tears at my heart. I swallow the frustration that eats away at my insides. I hate to do this, I hate that it’s come to this. I hate that he caused this, my dad.
“What the hell, Lynx?” Jonny asks when he looks up at me.
“On your knees,” I tell him. His eyes widen but he slowly drops to his knees in front of me.
“This about your girl? I wasn’t gonna touch her, man,” he pleads.
“Touch her? No one is gonna touch her!” I roar and he jolts.
“I was only doin’ what I was told to do! I didn’t want any part of this shit!”
“And the takeover?” His expression changes when the words leave my mouth.
Bastard.
“Fuck you, Lynx! You were out! That takeover was the best thing that could happen around that fucked-up club!”
I pull the trigger, watching his body fall to the ground. The puddle of blood slowly webs out around him. I hated that this had to happen, but that motherfucker forced us into this position. Time to clean up.
“Not the best idea,” I mumble turning to Gunz.
“You wanna cry your way outta the inevitable, too?” Vic asks him coming to stand next to me. Gunz shakes his head and lowers himself to his knees in front of us. He places his hands behind his back, holding his head high.
“It’s nothin’ personal, Gunz. Choosin’ between you and my girl, it’s an easy one,” I tell him. He opens his eyes and smirks at me.
“I get it, Lynx. No hard feelin’s brother. She’s yours, do what you have to do to make sure she’s safe. I would shoot you in a heartbeat to keep my woman safe.”
His words filter through my veins as I raise the gun to his head. Each one of my kills flashes before my eyes in this moment. Each life I’ve taken. Then it’s her. Her face. Her smile. Her. It’s always her. The bruises she used to wear on her perfect skin. The scars that she now has because of that asshole of a foster dad. The scars on her heart that no one can see. Everything in my life has revolved around her. Everything that I am and strive to be is because of her. I want better for her. I want to be what she needs. I want to be a good father to our child. I want more out of my life than just killing and being ruthless. I want to love Harper the way no one else has. I want to be her everything, and when she cries, when she’s hurt, when she needs someone, I want her to run to me.
Pulling the trigger has never been easier in my life. All the visions, all the feelings that are running through me just solidify the fact that I had to do this. I had to make sure that our future is secure.
“You okay?” Vic’s voice pulls me back to the here and now. I nod and slide my gun into the back of my jeans.
“I’m better than good. Let’s finish this shit so I can get my girl,” I tell him slapping a hand on his shoulder. We head out to the bikes and climb on, heading back to the clubhouse. My dad should be on his way back, and as soon as he gets there, I’ll handle him too. Once we get back and pull in, I climb off my bike with Vic close behind.
“You think about who you want as VP?” I ask when I glance over at him.
“Not really. I would’ve said you but you won’t stay,” he laughs. I shake my head and pull out a cigarette and light up.
“No fuckin’ way. My girl is happy where she is. She has a good place, good people. I wanna make that work with her.”
“Are you all the way out?”
I shrug. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I mean, I have thought about it but that’s the extent of it. I haven’t made any decisions because I wanted to talk to Harper first. I just need this shit to be over so that I can get back to her.
“Somethin’ to think about, yeah? I just want a real life with her this time, brother. We’ve lost so much already,” I admit, blowing out a ring of smoke.
“Heard that.” We both stand in silence when I see a car pulling in. Vic and I share a glance only to realize whose car it is.
“Fuck!” I growl under my breath.
“That’s her? Shit, Lynx. Get her outta here,” Vic says, nudging me toward the car. She pulls to a stop and so does my heart.
“Fuck!”
“Hey! What the fuck? Strike is here, brother!” Grind hollers as he walks out of the clubhouse. I look at him and then back to Harper as she climbs out of the car. My heart beats rapidly in my chest as everything happens in slow motion.
“I need you to sign this,” Harper says, holding out a packet to me.
I take it in my hands and look to Vic. He’s on edge and I understand why. He overheard my dad saying that the way to keep me was taking out Harper. That way I’d not have any reason not to come back. My heart jumps into my throat.
“You need to leave, Harper.”
“I need you to sign those papers first, Lynx.” She crosses her arms over her chest and my eyes fall to her stomach. Instinctively I reach out and place my hand over the bump that holds my child. When I feel it move, my eyes jump back to Harper’s. Tears fill her eyes and my heart begins to race.
“I can’t do this right now,” I say, pulling my hand back. “You need to go.”
“I’m not leaving until you sign those papers! I drove a long way here, damn it, Lynx! Don’t do this to me! I just need the closure,” she cries.
What the hell is she even talking about? Closure of what? I don’t have time to think about any of it when the club doors fly open. I storm toward them, tossing the paper as I go.
“What are you doin’?” I snap as soon as my dad steps in front of me.
“Comin’ to say hi,” he says with an evil snarl. I shake my head as he walks past me. I turn and lock eyes with Vic. He gives me a small nod letting me know that we’re ready, but Harper is still here and I don’t want her around any of this.
“My grandchild?” he asks her when he’s close enough to her. My heart races, my stomach churns. I walk over and stand next to them.
“It’s not mine,” I tell him. Harper’s eyes fill with tears. My heart slices in half. I hate hearing myself say that.
“Lynx, it-”
“Isn’t mine! Now get the fuck outta here, Harper!” I roar, doing whatever I can to get her out of this situation.
She opens her mouth but she doesn’t say anything. I let out a breath when she turns to leave only to hold it again when my dad grabs her arm. One of his hands goes to his gun, the other holding onto her. He spins her around, pinning her to his chest, the other bringing the gun to her stomach. I could be the devil himself right now. The fire that courses through my veins is burning me from the inside out.
“You better watch what the fuck you do with that thing,” I warn him, nodding toward the gun. Harper’s face pales.
“Why? You said it isn’t yours. What do you care?” He’s taunting me. That bastard wants to play games right now.
“Let her go. She doesn’t have shit to do with this!”
“Oh, but she does. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have lost you to begin with!” he roars.
“You never had me.”
“You’re right. That traitor did!” He moves the gun to aim at Vic and I take that as my sign to move.
I pull my gun at the same time he fires. I pull the trigger and he falls to the ground howling in pain but I move quickly. Kicking the gun away from him, I grab Harper as her body falls limp into my arms.
“I got you, baby,” I whisper. Her soft cries nearly kill me, but I have to pass her off to Grind for the time being. The other guys are either over near whoever my dad shot or at my side. I walk over to where he’s writhing on the ground and stand over him. Aiming the gun at his head, he smirks.
“Still choosin’ that little bitch over me? Over family?” he screams, spit flying from his lips.
“You were never my family. You never wanted me to live, you always tore me down.” Pulling the trigger, I feel a sense of relief. I don’t move, staring into the lifeless eyes of a man who was supposed to raise me to be a strong person. Instead, he tore me apart and made me something he wanted.
“Lynx!” Grind yells, pulling my attention. I pass the gun off to Rim and turn to look at Grind.
“No. Fuck!” I run toward them, drop to my knees, placing my hand over the wound in Vic’s chest.
“Don’t fuckin’ do this, Vic! Goddamn it, man! You can’t leave me now, brother!”
“Lynx?” Harper’s soft voice pulls me to her. I look down at her face and my heart nearly stops beating.
“Harper, baby? Harper, what’s wrong?”
She’s so fucking pale. Her lips are turning blue. My mind is spinning.
“Harper!” I scream louder as she slowly fades in my arms.
Chapter 30
Lynx
Hospitals are eer
ie for a lot of reasons. You know people die here but there is also life being brought into the world too. For me, it’s sort of a reminder of both. Vic’s gone. I knew it before they told me. Harper was rushed off to surgery and I’m left standing here at a crossroads. Harper’s donor heart failed. When I asked the doctor about it he said it was from the pregnancy and all the stress she’d been under. That part is my fault too. I will blame myself for that as well.
My life hasn’t always meant much to me. I was always a take it or leave it kind of guy. I’d never had much hope for a future of happiness or living as long as I have either. When you grow up in the MC lifestyle and with a dad like mine, you kind of expect death to be knocking on your door. You expect it open it and find the grim reaper waiting for you with open arms. I’m blessed that I haven’t had that happen to me yet, but at the same time, I know it’s inevitable.
I smile at my baby girl through the glass of the nursery. She’s a little early but the doctor said she’s strong, just like her mom. She has the cutest little cheeks that you would want to squeeze but that fire red hair is what makes her all Harper. It amazes me that I made something so perfect. How two people could create a life that will go on do great things. I have high hopes for my daughter.
I press a kiss to my fingers and hold it to the glass before turning and heading down the hallway. I know the way to her room. I’ve been walking it for days now waiting on the test results. The doctor thought I was insane but with enough cash you can get them to do anything you want. Money talks to some. When I walk in her room, I smile. She looks like an angel with her pale skin. Her red hair is such a contrast to all the white in the room. It’s almost laughable. I walk over and lean down, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“You were always mine. Even when I hated you more than I loved you, you changed all that. I realized that I never really hated you, Harper. I hated me. I hated who I was. I hated what I did. I blamed you when the truth was it was always me. I should have saved you sooner. I should have kept you safe and I failed at that. I saw our daughter. She’s so fuckin’ beautiful, Harper. She has your hair,” I chuckle. “You are perfect. I just want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world. You and her are my life, but if you aren’t here then what’s the point of it all? I’ll make it right, Harper. For her. She deserves to have you in her life, Harper. I couldn’t handle it if she didn’t. I love you, baby and when the times right, run to me.” Pressing a kiss to her lips once more, I walk out of the room. I head down the hallway and stop in front of the nurses desk. They all look at me funny as I smile and pull the gun from the back of my jeans.