by Kate Forster
48
After Richie died Dan didn’t mention him once. It was as though he had never existed, but the more emotional of Lionel Richie’s ballads were being played constantly while she was upstairs painting.
Tressa’s cast was removed and they delivered the paper to the press with ease, including a lovely profile on old Walter, who had started getting treatment for his alcoholism at the urging of Rosemary March. She had promised he could do the town deliveries for the post office, if he stayed sober.
And he was staying sober, and delivering the mail to the office, so Tressa didn’t have to trudge up the hill to pick it up.
‘How are you, Walter?’ she asked, when he dropped off the letters to the editor.
‘Keeping busy,’ he said in his gruff voice.
‘I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have you drop this off. Dan and I have been so busy, so this is a time-saver, I tell you.’
Walter looked very pleased at this news and straightened his shirt collar.
‘I best head off. Pamela has her beauty magazines from America, and I know she looks forward to them.’
He left, wheeling his mail trolley, and Tressa closed the office door. ‘He’s a new man now he has this job.’
Dan looked up from the computer. ‘People need a purpose. Before this job he thought his purpose was drinking but now he’s actually useful. It helps lift a person’s spirit.’
‘That will be you soon, with your fancy London job,’ she said, trying to sound light-hearted. ‘That will lift your spirit.’
But Dan didn’t reply and she sat at her desk, scrolling through the advertisements to be placed in the next edition. Her phone rang and she saw it was George.
‘Hello, love, how are you?’ he asked.
‘Great. How’s Caro?’
‘Doing very well; in fact, they said she can come home soon and have the rest of her treatment at home. They send a nurse around and do the infusions there. They actually think she’s going to be okay.’
Tressa could hear the relief in his voice.
‘Oh George,’ she said. ‘Oh, I’m so happy. That’s amazing.’
‘So I think we will be back in a week, and then you will have me back again. So I’m about to ring Dan and let him know he can head off to London whenever he wants.’
Tressa felt her heart drop. Dan was still sleeping on the sofa but they barely spoke unless it was about work. She didn’t want him to go but didn’t want to be in a room with Dan, sharing only silence.
George was still talking. ‘From what I’ve heard, you will be happy to see the back of him.’
‘I’ve got to go, George. I’m so happy about the news. Please give Caro a big hug from me,’ Tressa said and she put down the phone. She turned to Dan. ‘George is going to call you. He will be back in a week, so you can get ready to move on.’
Tressa went upstairs to her studio and slammed the door as hard as she could.
49
All morning, George Fox had been receiving texts from various residents of Port Lowdy.
First there was Dan saying he would be gone by the time he came back and everything for the next edition of the paper was ready for him; and though things with Tressa didn’t work out the way he had hoped, he thought it best he move on as he had lost the two great loves of his life in Port Lowdy. He was going to work at The Times writing longer articles and that wouldn’t have come to him if he hadn’t come to Port Lowdy, and he thanked George for the opportunity.
That was a long text.
Then came an even longer message from Tressa saying she couldn’t work at the paper anymore because she was heartbroken about Dan and was thinking she might give up everything including her career as an artist and go on the road, painting portraits for food.
Penny texted from Brisbane, of all places, saying she was coming home to Port Lowdy with a surprise and could they have a lunch – she wanted Dan and Tressa there.
Give them my love, she wrote.
And finally a message from Janet, saying that she had never seen two sadder people than Dan and Tressa, who were clearly desperately in love and they couldn’t get out of their own way. Could he ask Caro what was to be done? She always had the best ideas.
George could have been offended but he knew it was true: Caro did have the best ideas.
He looked over at her, asleep on her bed.
‘Tell me. I can hear your phone pinging with all sorts of harried messages. Has Port Lowdy sunk into the sea?’
George laughed. ‘You’re not asleep after all. But you’re tired. This can wait.’
Caro pressed the button next to her bed so she was lifted into a seated position.
‘Tell me. I would like something else to think about while I wait to hear the results.’
George looked at her. First she’d said she wanted to die, and refused chemotherapy. Then she’d had the chemo, and the doctors had said her markers were down. Now they were waiting on the result of the PET scan that she’d had that morning.
‘Dan is leaving, Tressa is devastated, Dan is devastated, they can’t seem to work through their issues. They’re as stubborn and as unable to work through their feelings as each other. Meanwhile Dan’s been offered what sounds like a terrific job at The Times, so he—’
Caro was about to interrupt him when the doctors came into the room.
‘Caro,’ said the senior oncologist. ‘We have excellent news.’
He said Caro was remarkable in her healing ability and that she would be a case to be studied. There were no leftover tumours visible on the PET scan. Caro nodded calmly, as though she was aware of her own gifts in healing.
‘I told myself I would be okay – I think I knew that,’ she said.
George pushed her earlier pessimism out of his mind. None of that mattered. He shook the doctors’ hands and then kissed Caro when they had left.
‘You are a contradiction and a mystery, Caro, and this is why I love you so much.’
‘Enough of that, and I don’t need reminding I told everyone I was dying, which I was at the time, so I don’t want to hear your arguments.’
Caro’s face was flushed for the first time since she had been diagnosed with cancer and she had the spark back in her eye.
‘I’m hungry,’ she said. This was certainly good news, since she hadn’t been hungry in weeks.
‘I can pop down to the cafe.’ George jumped up, happy to have a task.
‘Yes, I would like a lasagna or a shepherd’s pie if they have either, and a custard tart and a lemonade.’
George laughed and set out on his mission. When he returned with both shepherd’s pie and lasagna and a custard tart for them both, Caro was on the phone.
‘Thanks, Wendy; you’re an angel. Love to David.’
‘Wendy? Buckland? You can’t stand her. Why are you calling her?’ he said after she ended the call.
‘I can cope with Wendy when she’s not trying to impress anyone, and right now she’s worried about Tressa. It sounds like they’ve been doing some connecting, which is wonderful, but Wendy is going to organise a few things for us. Now hand over the shepherd’s pie. I need to get well enough to get out for next weekend.’
‘What’s next weekend?’ asked George, utterly confused.
‘Let me eat first and then I will tell you the big idea.’ Caro peeled back the lid of the container of shepherd’s pie. She put her face over the steam rising from the dish then picked up the fork and ate.
50
Tressa walked into town. She should buy a new bike soon. She would have to get Janet to take her to St Ives, or should she get her car licence? She certainly couldn’t rely on Dan for lifts anymore.
If she had a car and her licence then she could go to the gallery, or maybe even see her parents more often. She had even suggested that she move back to St Ives, but Wendy had told her that she belonged in Port Lowdy – it was her soulmate.
But Tressa had cried that night alone in her bed. Dan was her soulmate. A
nd he was leaving for London.
The beach was busy with tourists when she walked past. Normally all the bright rich colours would have thrilled her but today they looked dull. Someone had turned down the brightness on the world.
The goodbye lunch for Dan was at the Black Swan.
She had tried to dress cheerfully, in a white lace sundress with tiny straps on her shoulders that she had found online, and with her red sandals that had cherries attached to the top like little fruity buckles. She had on her standard red lipstick and her hair was out and she knew she looked summery, but she felt cold inside.
The lunch had been planned by George, and the only consolation for such a dreadful day was that she knew Caro would be there.
Fake it till you make it, she told herself as she walked towards the pub.
Inside, all the tables were pushed back to the outside of the room, and there was a semicircle of chairs with two chairs facing them in the centre of the room.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, as Dan walked in behind her.
‘No idea,’ he said. ‘You look lovely.’
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself to not beg him to stay.
‘Hello, darling,’ said Caro, who hugged Tressa tightly.
Caro’s hair was gone but her spirit was strong.
‘Caro,’ said Tressa, returning the hug and trying not to cry.
‘This is a bit shit sticks, isn’t it?’ she said to Tressa, who ignored her question because it was, indeed, shit sticks but she was on edge, feeling like she was ready to run away from everyone just to stop feeling this way.
‘You look incredible. Bald suits you – you have a nice-shaped head,’ said Tressa.
‘Everyone says that when someone goes bald from chemo, but in my case it’s not true. I have a head shaped like a cauliflower. I need hair. But this scarf covers the florets of my skull well enough.’
Caro turned to Dan. ‘Hello, Dan, I’m Caro.’ Tressa could see her assessing him from top to toe and inside and out. He smiled at her.
‘Caro, Tressa talks of you constantly.’
‘Does she? She talks of you constantly to me. We must get together and compare notes.’
Tressa glared at Caro. Behind them, her parents walked into the pub.
‘Why are they here?’ she asked Caro.
‘Because I asked them.’
‘Darling,’ said Wendy, hugging Tressa, and David was shaking Dan’s hand and Tressa thought she was having an out-of-body experience. Why did her parents need to say goodbye to Dan? What was he to them?
Janet walked into the pub, looking smart in jeans and a pretty yellow blouse. Janet in jeans – the world had really turned upside down. And why would Janet need to say goodbye to Dan?
*
George was now talking to Marcel through the pass in the kitchen, and then Remi came in through the back with Juliet holding his hand.
Dan and Remi shook hands and laughed. They went into a brief hug. Tressa and Juliet smiled at each other. The four of them were becoming close friends – but now Dan was moving away and it was all such a mess. Tressa felt her throat burn and she turned away to catch her breath. The door to the pub opened and Penny walked in, with a tall man behind her.
‘Penny,’ Caro called out and clapped her hands.
‘Everyone, this is Paul Murphy, my long-lost Australian photographer who I am proud to say is now my husband. We got married in Brizzy, as they call it there. Tegan and Primmy were there and it was just wonderful.’
Pamela came from behind the bar, carrying a tray laden with glasses of champagne, as the room burst into cheers and claps. Pamela handed the glasses around.
‘To Penny and Paul,’ called George, lifting his glass. Everyone followed and then George turned to face them all. ‘Now, friends, let us take our seats.’
Slowly everybody sat down, leaving Dan and Tressa standing side by side.
‘Sit, sit,’ said George, gesturing to the two chairs facing the rest of the group.
‘Oh,’ said Dan, ‘this is some weird cult thing, yes? You are all in a cult and you’re trying to get me into it.’ Shaking his head, he stepped back.
‘Sit down and be quiet,’ said Caro in a stern voice none of them had heard for many months. Dan did as he was told and Tressa sat next to him.
‘Now hold hands,’ said Penny.
‘What?’ Tressa was thoroughly confused.
‘Tressa, listen to Penny please. Hold Dan’s hand,’ Wendy ordered, and Tressa took Dan’s hand in hers. They were both trembling.
‘We are here today to sort you two out,’ said George, ‘as your kinspeople of Port Lowdy. Both of you have brought so much to everyone in this room and yet you’re both getting in your own way of bringing yourselves the love and joy you have brought to all of us.’
Tressa took a gasp. ‘Is this a Love Day?’
Dan was looking around the room, as though trying to find something to anchor onto. Tressa felt his hand tightly holding hers.
‘We’re your closest friends and your family. We’re all here to help you work this problem out. We have a day, where we talk it out and if we can’t find a solution, then you two decide that you tried but it didn’t work – and you kiss and move on with your life. Right now, you’re both unhappy and in pain and need help to work out the way ahead.’
Tressa looked down at her lap. Her eyes blurred.
‘I don’t really think it’s any of your business,’ said Dan, crossing his legs and pulling his hand away from Tressa’s.
‘Hands,’ yelled Remi, and he grabbed Tressa’s hand again.
‘Jesus, calm down.’
Caro leaned forward in her chair, holding her champagne glass, and peered at them.
‘So, Dan, you have the new job, and you say you have to move to London. But I know you don’t have to. George rang the editor. He said it didn’t matter where you live because you will be profiling people from all over anyway. They said you could work from Timbuktu if you wanted to. So why are you going? When I know you want to be here with Tressa?’
Tressa looked at him, frowning her beautiful frown that was almost a squint. She always gave him that look when she knew he was being an eejit.
‘Because she doesn’t want me here. Port Lowdy is hers and she told me in no uncertain terms that her life was easier without me.’
‘That’s not fair,’ she said. ‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘So what did you mean?’ asked her father, and he gave her a look that made her furious. As though she were a child again and he was about to pick apart her argument.
‘I meant that before I loved Dan, everything was easier.’ Tressa looked down at the scarlet cherries on her sandals.
Caro spoke. ‘Everyone in this room has had their life changed because of you two. What you can achieve together is better than anything you have achieved apart – so why do you want to be alone?’
Tressa started to cry and Dan squeezed her hand. ‘It’s not that, I don’t think.’
‘So what is it then?’ Caro demanded to know.
‘I just think Tressa will be fine without me. I’m not good at love. I’m careless – look at Richie.’
The room was silent.
‘That’s not true,’ whispered Tressa, shaking her head.
‘What was that?’ asked George.
‘I said that’s not true!’ Tressa lifted her head, feeling the tears fall down her cheeks. She turned to Dan. ‘You are more capable of love than anyone I know. And Richie was the luckiest dog in the world to have you as his owner.’
A tear fell down Dan’s cheek. ‘I let him down by being an idiot, like I let you down.’
Tressa took his other hand. ‘No! He ran across the road chasing those seagulls and was hit by a car; that was all that was. You didn’t cause it. You didn’t make him chase the birds. You weren’t driving the car. It happened. And you were with him as he passed and I tell you, I would want you holding me with my last breaths. He was one lu
cky pup.’
Dan had started to cry. ‘I miss him.’
‘I miss him too. I miss you,’ she said, with a sigh.
Dan touched her face. ‘Tressie my lovely, you could do better than me. I am a bit broken.’
‘Let me fix you, as you’ve fixed me. Don’t run away from us. Let’s build a life together. I will go with you to London or Timbuktu or whenever it is you need to work.’
‘I don’t want to go to Timbuktu. I want to write while you paint and I want to take walks on the beach and find mermaid purses and say good morning to Rosewyn and kiss you every chance I can.’
Janet gave a long, contented sigh.
Tressa started to sob. ‘You stupid eejit, why didn’t you say so?’
‘I told you. I make my life hard for myself. And it seems I make it hard for you also.’
‘You make my life better. I wouldn’t be showing my paintings without you,’ she said.
‘And I wouldn’t have the new job, without you. I feel like I’m living the life I was supposed to now, without any of the anger but with all of the purpose.’
She kissed him and he kissed her back.
‘You’re supposed to save your kiss for the end,’ Janet called out to them.
‘What?’ Dan turned to her.
‘At the end of the arbitration, you have to seal your decision with a kiss,’ Janet said primly, and even George was nodding in agreement.
Dan looked at Tressa. ‘I love you, Tressie. I can’t believe you know me better than I know myself and you still want to be with me.’
Tressa smiled at him, a damp tearful smile. ‘I do love you, Dan. You are so kind. You pretend you don’t care but I know you do.’
She leaned over and whispered in his ear. ‘And I love you because you calm me and thrill me all at once.’
His hand cupped her knee and she felt her whole body and soul responding to his touch. He leaned forward and Tressa met him halfway and they looked at each other.
‘Wait?’ she asked. ‘What’s the date?’
‘May the twentieth,’ Paul said.
‘May the twentieth,’ she whispered. ‘Our Love Day.’ And they kissed each other as though there was no one else in the world.