“Who is at the door, Nora?” The stern voice of Lady Burkett echoed through the home, and as Ms. Nora stepped away from the door, Lady Burkett came into view.
“My lady, I—”
“What are you doing here, my lord?” Lady Burkett asked with thick disapproval in her voice.
“Please, I must speak with Lady Mirabell,” Lord Dunkirk answered.
“My daughter finished the ball in a state last evening. She informed me that she was upset by a conversation she had with you. Is that true?” Lady Burkett asked angrily.
“It is, but there is a perfectly good explanation,” Lord Dunkirk answered.
“No explanation would ever be able to justify your actions, my lord. Please leave now,” Lady Burkett demanded.
“No, I am not leaving here until I am given the opportunity to explain myself,” Lord Dunkirk insisted.
Perhaps Lady Burkett noticed the determination in his eyes or realized the sincerity of his apology. Lord Dunkirk was not certain which it was, but she allowed him to enter and led him into the parlor.
Lady Burkett glanced at him expectantly with little patience or tolerance and crossed her arms. “Speak.”
“My lady, thank you for allowing me to speak with Lady Mirabell—”
“Oh, you will most certainly not be speaking with her, my lord,” Lady Burkett answered.
“And why on Earth not?” the earl asked.
“My daughter has requested that I not allow you inside, as she does not wish to see you or to speak with you, and I am honoring my daughter’s wishes. You are, however, obligated to now explain to me precisely what happened last evening,” Lady Burkett explained.
“It was a misunderstanding, really,” Lord Dunkirk said.
“Against my better judgement, I entrusted you with my daughter at the ball. I allowed you to spend time alone with her and Ms. Nora. Mirabell came in from the back garden exhausted and humiliated,” Lady Burkett said, as she grew angrier with every moment which passed.
“At one instance Lady Mirabell asked me whether I had feelings for Lady Marjorie at all. I simply answered her with the truth. Stating that Mirabell had always been the one for me out of the two sisters. I did not think these words were untoward, and I spoke of the past but — ”
Lady Burkett pursed her lips and lowered her gaze.
“Lady Mirabell then kissed me, but I backed away.”
“And why did you?”
“I informed her that I was betrothed to Lady Amelia, but I thought she had already known of my engagement. She started to cry, and I apologized before walking away. I felt guilty for leading her on, and I am well aware that my words were spoken many years too late,” Lord Dunkirk answered sadly. “I do not wish for her to be upset with me, my lady. I enjoyed the evening with her tremendously.”
Fredrick retrieved the letter he had written to Mirabell and handed it to Lady Burkett. “My lady, would you please ensure Lady Mirabell receives this?”
Lady Burkett pursed her lips, took the letter from him, and nodded slowly. “Very well, but I cannot guarantee that she will respond to it or read it.”
“Now that these events have transpired which took place at the ball, you may no longer write to my daughter directly because you are no longer like a member of our family. The two of you are not engaged — to each other, and, as you are aware, only engaged men and women may correspond by mail. However, since you have hand-delivered it, I will make an exception.”
“Of course. My only wish is for it to reach her. She may do with it as she wishes,” Lord Dunkirk sighed. “Thank you for your time, my lady.”
As Lord Dunkirk turned away, Lady Burkett said, “This works out rather well.”
“What do you mean, my lady?”
“Lord Burkett and I have made an arrangement of our own, for Mirabell to marry the Duke of Granger. He initially approached us years ago, and since it was all his idea, we feel very confident that she has secured him. She had been on many enjoyable outings with His Grace,” Lady Burkett answered.
“The duke is much older than Lady Mirabell,” Lord Dunkirk pointed out.
“Indeed,” Lady Burkett scoffed. “But that is none of your concern now, is it?”
“No, I suppose not,” Lord Dunkirk answered stiffly.
Lord Dunkirk was angered by Lady Burkett’s hostile and domineering personality, which had come to light, and now it finally made sense why she and Lord Burkett had a disapproving attitude when it came to him. Lord and Lady Burkett did not wish him to spend any time with Mirabell, as it may possibly jeopardize the arrangement made with the duke. Lord Dunkirk was the flaw in their plan, and for an inkling of a moment, Lord Dunkirk wished he could do something to end her arrangement with the duke. Now that he was trying to dissolve the arrangement he had with Lady Amelia and her parents, there was a new impediment to his future with Lady Mirabell. The duke, of course, was a much higher rank of nobility than he, and her parents were on the duke’s side.
“Thank you, my lady, for listening to my explanation of the events, and please know that I am truly and sincerely sorry for the pain I had once again inflicted on your daughter. It was never my intention to do so. Your daughter is very important to me.”
“Sometimes, things are beyond our control, regardless of how much we care for someone, are they not,” Lady Burkett answered.
“Indeed,” Lord Dunkirk said with a nod. “I will see myself out. Good day, Lady Burkett.”
“Good day, Lord Dunkirk,” Lady Burkett said, coldly dismissing Lord Dunkirk.
Lady Mirabell had her ear pressed to the door of her room, as she was attempting to overhear her mother’s conversation with Lord Dunkirk. She had told her mother that she did not wish to see him or to speak with him and was hoping her mother had agreed with her wishes and asked Lord Dunkirk to leave. She could not bear the thought of facing him after the humiliation from the ball. Mirabell quickly moved away from the door as she heard her mother’s soft footsteps making their way closer to her. Lady Mirabell unknowingly held her breath as her mother knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Mirabell called out and quickly backed away from the door just as her mother opened it. She held out a folded note.
“Lord Dunkirk wished you to receive this,” Lady Burkett said. “He spoke that this would explain everything. After you have finished, perhaps we shall have a cup of tea.”
“Thank you, Mother.” Her mother moved her head in a downward motion as if to agree with Lady Mirabell, and she parted her mouth as if to speak once again, but instead pursued her lips in a tight line. Lady Burkett proceeded to turn and leave Mirabell to read the letter in the emptiness of her own bedroom.
Lady Mirabell opened the envelope and proceeded to unfold the paper when she saw the familiar handwriting of Lord Dunkirk.
My Dearest Lady Mirabell,
I write this to you with my deepest sympathy for my actions at the ball we both attended. It is truly evident to me that you have not read my last letter, number 30. For it is in that letter where I told you about Lady Amelia.
I should have addressed the issue right away when I saw you, I should never have led you to believe that my heart still was waiting for you. Do not be embarrassed, the fault is mine.
Yours,
Fredrick Dunkirk
Mirabell felt tears start to fall from her face. She quickly folded the letter back up and placed it safely on her nightstand before frantically digging for letter number 30. She had been saving a couple of letters to read when her sadness from Lady Marjorie’s death would become unbearable. These letters had been so sweet to her soul and had brought her so much joy that she did not want to devour them too quickly and eat all of her candy at once.
She tore open letter 30 and quickly read.
My Dearest Lady Mirabell,
Something has come up. A demon of a problem has been knocking at my door for quite a while. It requires me to reveal new truths to you that I hope you are braced for.
The fir
st truth is that I do not think of you as a sister or as a cousin, as you may believe. I am passionately and deeply in love with you as a husband loves a wife. I think of you every morn and every eve. In all the world, there is no one like you. I wished to court you and for you to be my wife, but twenty-nine unresponded to letters tell me that my love is unrequited.
Secondly, I must explain that while my heart longs for you, it can never and will never be.
When I was much younger, my father arranged an engagement between Lady Amelia and myself without my knowledge. I have yet to meet my betrothed. Perhaps he was under the impression that she was a better match for me than you are, and although it was done without my permission or approval, it is still a binding agreement between my late father and Lady Amelia’s parents. A letter stating as much was delivered to me yesterday from Lady Amelia’s parents.
I have consulted with my attorney on this matter, and he has asked her family to produce the Marriage Articles to prove that this is true.
No matter my protest, if they return the Marriage Articles to me, it is my duty to uphold these new obligations. I know that, with time, I can learn to love this stranger, Lady Amelia. I am truly sorry for these thirty letters that have interfered in your life, and they shall cease now with this new development.
I hope, unlike myself, that you will have the opportunity to find a love that is as true as the sun itself. For that, you deserve nothing less.
Yours,
Fredrick Dunkirk
Mirabell paused to cry at various intervals while reading the letter, and at one point she had to put the letter down and blot it with her handkerchief so that the ink did not smear more from her tears diluting it into black circles and then running off the page.
“He did want to marry me,” she thought. “Now he will marry someone else, and I will be an old maid, sad and alone and without him ever in my life again. I will not have any children. No Marjorie, no Fredrick, no hope.” She lay curled-up on the floor for almost a full hour in her sorrow.
She wiped her face and looked for her mother. When she lumbered into the sitting room, she looked around at the familiar yellow walls and saw her mother was sitting next to the window and being served a nice hot, cup of tea. Her mother noticed her daughter’s disheveled look and deeply sighed.
“Are you alright, my dearest daughter?” Lady Burkett asked.
“Not as well as I would care to be, Mother,” Lady Mirabell admitted with a shrug.
“Would you like to talk about the letter?”
“Not particularly,” Lady Mirabell answered.
“I see,” Lady Burkett answered stiffly and brought her teacup to her lips as she sipped on her tea. “His Grace spoke with me just the other day about wishing you to spend time with him. Perhaps that will get your mind off of—”
Lady Mirabell sighed loudly, cutting off her mother.
“Perhaps Mother is correct,” Lady Mirabell thought. “Perhaps I should allow the duke to continue courting me. I could find a love in him. He can make me laugh. He is not Lord Dunkirk, but I would have a very comfortable life with him. Lord Dunkirk will not call his wedding off. He will not come to me in that manner again. I must do as Lord Dunkirk wishes, and I must attempt to move forward from this.”
“Pardon me, Mother. I was being rather rude. I should not direct my anger and annoyance towards you. I am terribly sorry,” Mirabell apologized.
“It is quite understandable for you to be angered by this situation. Lord Dunkirk lied to you, he deceived you by paying attentions to you and caused you to think that you and he could possibly have a future. It was wrong of him to not inform you of his engagement to Lady Amelia until after you kissed him,” Lady Burkett pointed out in disgust.
Lady Mirabell stared at her mother with wide eyes and sighed. “How did you know about Lady Amelia and of the kiss?”
“The earl informed me. He wished to explain himself to you, and I insisted to hear said explanation. He told me what had happened and that it had never been his intention to hurt you again,” Lady Burkett answered.
“He did, and I honestly did not imagine it would be as painful as it is now. I was angered and hurt when he left Bristol, but nothing compares to the pain I feel at this very moment. He humiliated me in front of Ms. Nora, and I will not forgive him for that,” Lady Mirabell said, tears forming in her eyes once again.
“May I ask you one thing, and then we shall not speak of this again?” Lady Burkett asked.
“Of course, Mother.” Mirabell wiped the tears from under her eyes before they were able to run down her cheeks.
“Why did you kiss Lord Dunkirk?” Lady Burkett’s question was simple, concise, and truly brutal.
Lady Mirabell was not quite certain as to why she did—in fact—kiss Lord Dunkirk. She most certainly could not tell her mother that she had been in love with him since she was a young girl. She could also not tell her mother that she had hoped he would kiss her as well and they would court, be married, and share a happy life together.
“Perhaps I was swept away in the moment, thinking that he had feelings for me,” Lady Mirabell said and lowered her gaze, “but I had been mistaken. I had been wrong about Lord Dunkirk my entire life, and sadly, I had only realized it now.”
Lady Burkett placed a reassuring hand on her daughter’s arm and said in a tender and quiet voice, “Perhaps it is for the best.”
“Indeed, Mother. Perhaps I should write a letter to His Grace to apologize for not spending as much time with him as I should have. I think it would take my mind off of things for us to spend the day together soon.”
“I am certain he would be absolutely delighted to receive that letter.”
“Indeed, Mother. I do believe you are correct,” Mirabell said with a small smile on her lips.
Her mother hummed in positive agreement.
Lady Mirabell continued to sip on her tea while her mind went into a thousand different directions and her heart went into even more.
Mirabell had decided to make an honest effort this time around with the duke. She even decided to wear the turquoise hat to show him how serious she was on the day of their first outing since their period of absence from one another. In keeping with his particular style, the duke wore a top hat garnished with a red ribbon and brought his cane. Of course, the duke was delighted to see Lady Mirabell again, and he could not tear his eyes away from her as she wore the hat he had adoringly purchased her as a token of his unwavering affection.
As they were walking together in town, passing by shops, the duke was informing her of what was going on in his life. The duke spoke of many things, and Mirabell listened to his words, allowing herself to be swept away by them. Lady Mirabell encouraged the distraction and hoped it would be enough to make her forget of Lord Dunkirk altogether. Although she did notice that the time apart had not been kind to the duke’s waistline.
Lady Mirabell had not responded to Lord Dunkirk's letter at all; however, she did, in fact, keep it in a locked box under her bed. Although she did not wish to think about it, or Lord Dunkirk at all, she had neither the courage nor the heart to simply toss the letter into the fire, allowing it to burn away and out of her life.
Of course, she knew that locking the letter away would not solve her problems or make them disappear altogether, but it was the only manner in which she could carry on with her life. Mirabell had refused to allow herself to touch the locked box under her bed, but most nights she dreamed of the last letter, and all of the previous ones she had received from Lord Dunkirk. She dreamt of Lord Dunkirk’s words coming to life, and she was yet again reminded of how passionately she truly regarded him in her heart.
Mirabell often wondered whether Lady Amelia was a lovely young woman and whether she would treat Lord Dunkirk with the love and respect he deserved. At most times, Lady Mirabell was convinced that Lord Dunkirk did not intend to cause her pain and heartache, as he had not lied to her in his entire life. This made Lady Mirabell question his motives for
not mentioning and clarifying his engagement to Lady Amelia sooner. Yes, he had written the letter regarding it, but he could have made sure she knew of the engagement in person.
Perhaps he had second thoughts of marrying Lady Amelia. Perhaps when regaining contact with Mirabell, his old feelings rose back to the surface, neither one of them able to stop it.
Or perhaps that was precisely what Lord Dunkirk wished Mirabell to think.
Lady Mirabell refused to think of the earl any longer, especially when she was in the company of the duke. It was not fair to him or to herself, to dwell on things which were now entirely out of her control. Lord Dunkirk was set to marry Lady Amelia, and Lady Mirabell was now being courted by the Duke of Granger, and that was that.
The only thing she could think of was whether the duke’s humor could be enough for her. It was the one attribute he possessed that stood out to her. The duke moved his cane from one hand to the other in order to open the door for her, gesturing her into the small diner. She smiled at him and looked down before walking in.
“It has to be enough… I will not end up a spinster woman who will pine over a man whom she never had to begin with. I must make this work. I will make this work,” she vowed to herself.
Mirabell deserved happiness, even if it was forced by her own hand.
8
It had been their fourth outing in less than two weeks, and Mirabell noticed that the duke began to attempt to make more formal moves to pursue their courtship further. As much as she was trying to make it work, she was feeling that she needed to take this much slower than the duke wanted. He did not tell her that he wanted to go at a faster pace, but she could tell. She wanted to make this work.
Mirabell knew he was sweet and caring, but she was unsure of her true feelings for him because her mind kept going back to Lord Dunkirk and the kiss they shared. She had the same thoughts running through her mind over and over again, “How can Lord Dunkirk write me a letter like he did? Why did he tell me he loved me when he was vowed to another?”
Regency Engagements Box Set Page 80