by Aria Grace
When I step inside, I’m glad to see from the steady rise and fall of her chest that she’s sleeping soundly. After turning off the lamp on her bedside table, I close the door and head down to the living room.
Once I put my makeshift bed back together on the couch, I lie down and close my eyes. Thoughts of my evening with Dodge flood my brain, making it impossible to sleep.
Besides, staying in this house still causes me anxiety every time I look around. My happy memories with Dodge slowly change, and I’m faced with the nightmares of Joseph coming at me all those years ago.
The clock on the mantel ticks the minutes as I stare at the ceiling. After an hour of tossing and turning, Dodge’s invitation starts sounding better and better. It’s hard for me to rest in this place. If I want to sleep, I need to get out of here.
I debate with myself for another ten minutes, wondering what Dodge would think if I did just walk over to his place and asked to sleep on his couch.
There is only one sure way to find out.
The night air is brisk as I cross the yard in the dark and quiet neighborhood. As I step onto Dodge’s porch, the front door opens, and he greets me in a pair of sweatpants. His body looks amazing, with the waistband of his sweats riding low and showing off the V that trails to his cock.
“Can’t sleep?”
I shake my head. “I was thinking maybe I could sleep on your couch.”
He ushers me inside. “You’re not going to sleep on the couch. You’re welcome to sleep in my bed. I can stay on the couch, if you want.”
“I can’t take your bed. Can we share it?”
Dodge grins. “I think that can be arranged.”
He escorts me up to his room and pulls back the covers. I slip between the sheets as Dodge climbs in on the other side. “Would it be pathetic if I asked you to hold me?”
“It wouldn’t be pathetic at all.” He scoots closer to me on the mattress, allowing me to snuggle into his chest. His broad arms encircle me as I find comfort in his grasp. After the hour of lying restlessly on the couch, it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep in Dodge’s protective arms.
* * *
“Good morning.” Dodge is in the kitchen when I finally head down. “I made breakfast.”
The island is covered with bacon, eggs, toast, and an assortment of cereals along with orange juice and milk. “Are you expecting an army to stop by?”
“I didn’t know what you liked, so I thought I’d have a little of everything prepared.”
“You didn’t need to do all this.” I wave my hand at the spread. “You’ve already done so much for me.”
He ignores me and pulls a dish of butter from the fridge. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah.” I yawn and stretch out my arms. “I did, actually.”
“Good.”
“I should go and check on my mother first. Will all this hold for a few more minutes?”
“Absolutely. Should we bring your mom something? Do you think she might want some eggs?”
I shrug. “She might.”
“Okay, let me grab something to put them in, and we can take it over.” Dodge finds a plastic container to put a small helping of eggs in before we walk back over to my mother’s place. When we step inside, I stop and listen for sounds coming from upstairs.
It’s silent. “She’s probably still sleeping.”
Dodge goes straight to the kitchen. “I’ll just get a plate to put these on and grab something for her to drink.”
“Thanks.” I ascend the stairs, noticing the crack in the door that I’d left before heading to bed last night. Only this time, instead of light seeping through the crack, I’m met with darkness. Apparently, Mom hasn’t gotten up yet. All the drapes in her room are still pulled shut, so I walk over to the one farthest from her bed and open it, allowing the morning sunshine to pour through.
She’s always loved the sunshine, so hopefully, the bright and sunny day will bring a smile to her face as she eats breakfast.
“Good morning, Mom. Dodge made us some breakfast. Are you hungry?”
She doesn’t respond. I get closer to the bed while trying not to startle her. “Mom, it’s time to wake up and eat something.”
She doesn’t move a muscle. I hate to wake her, but I know she has to keep her strength up if she’s going to get better.
“Mom, time to wake up.” I jostle her shoulder but immediately pull back my hand. What should normally be warm, pliant skin is hard and cold to the touch. “Mom?” Moving closer to her face, I listen for the sounds of her breathing. When I don’t immediately hear anything, I know something’s wrong.
“Dodge!”
His frantic steps sound as he races up the stairs to me. “Nathan? What’s going on?”
“It’s my mother… I think…”
Dodge places his hands on my shoulders and pulls me away from the bed, then he steps into my spot. With his index and middle finger, he checks for a pulse on her neck. When he doesn’t find one, he looks up at me. “Nathan, I’m so sorry.”
Dodge doesn’t have to say anything else. My mother’s fight with her cancer had finally ended. As if something inside me shuts off and a different mode turns on, I nod and take a deep breath. “I need to call Joseph.”
“You call him,” Dodge says. “I’ll call her doctor.”
I know in my head that I should be feeling a loss. Some type of emotional breakdown seems appropriate for my mother’s passing. But it just isn’t there. I loved her. There’s no question about that. But the woman lying silently in the bed in front of me was just as responsible for my suffering in life as Joseph. Even at the end, that didn’t change.
I go through the motions of calling my brother to let him know what’s happened. Then I straighten up the room, putting her robe in the closet and removing the empty water glass and tissues next to her bed.
One nightmare from my past has finally ended, and maybe now I can finally deal with the other one.
81
Dodge
The coroner came and took the body without much fanfare. It was surreal to watch them wheel her away like a piece of old furniture. I took the day off work and stayed with Nathan. It made me feel better to be close to him, especially since Joseph was around when they took Mrs. Greenly’s body.
Joseph said his mom didn't want a service, so she will be cremated, and the ashes will be delivered to them at some point. I felt like she deserved better than that, but it wasn’t my decision to make. My only job is to support Nathan and make sure he has what he needs during this time of grief.
For the past week, Nathan’s been cleaning out the house. Based on our conversations at night, the downstairs has been easier because it's just trinkets and junk. I don’t think he’s ventured very far upstairs yet. He’s probably not ready. And that’s completely understandable. It must be hard on him to have lost her just as they were reconnecting. But I’m a bit concerned about the way he’s handling everything. It’s like he’s not in mourning at all. And I know from experience that’s not a healthy way to move on.
I’ve been trying to be the rock he needs while still giving him space when he wants it. Nathan’s been staying with me all week, which makes us both feel better. I haven’t pressed him to talk about his past, but I’ve been hinting about a future. If we're gonna have anything serious together, it needs to start with open honesty.
I guess Nathan has the same idea in mind because as soon as I walk in the door after work, he hands me a beer and we sit on the couch.
"I'm ready to talk." His voice is quiet, as if the words he’s saying don’t want to come out. But I think it will hurt less if he lets me share this burden with him. I want to help care for him. But whatever he’s holding back makes it difficult for me to really comfort him.
"I'm ready to listen.” I take a long drag from the beer and wait.
He turns, crossing his leg underneath himself so that he’s facing me.
I prop against the arm of the couch and watch him pr
epare to unload his pain on me.
"When I was about ten, Joseph was fourteen. He was dealing with puberty and learning what he thought it meant for him to be the man of the house. As an alpha, he thought he needed to be tough and strong. That's when he decided to start using me as his practice doll for a game he liked to call Alpha and Omega.
I cringe as he says the name of the game, somehow knowing it's going to hurt to hear the rest of his story. But I don’t say anything. I just sit there, nursing the bottle of beer and watching Nathan as I attempt to calm my expression.
"At first, he'd just boss me around. Kid stuff like make me clean his room or do his homework. Then he got violent. He'd smack me around or choke me to see how long it took for me to pass out."
My hands curl into fists, and I have to control my breathing so I don't get too worked up.
"But then things got worse. The first time anything sexual happened, I’d accidentally walked in on him jerking off over the toilet. I'd never seen an alpha penis, and it was huge compared to mine. Even though he was only about fifteen, he developed early. When he saw me looking at him, he made me stroke him until he came. At that point, I was more fascinated than scared. That is, until the next time.”
The fear in Nathan’s eyes is evident, and I want to puke at the story he’s telling me. After all these years of living across the street from them, I never had any inclination this was going on.
“A few days later, he called me into his room and told me omegas had to service alphas with their whole bodies, not just their hands. That's when I got scared. He made me kneel on the floor while he fucked my mouth until he came. If my teeth scraped him or I choked, he'd either laugh or smack me. A few times, I passed out from him holding himself down my throat for too long. Those were the days I wished I wouldn't ever wake up."
I pull Nathan into my arms and hold him. He curls against me, but his gaze drifts to the empty fireplace as he tries to get through the terrible memories.
"Then when I was twelve, I hit puberty and had a growth spurt. Joseph must have been waiting for that because the first day we were alone after my birthday, he pinned me to his bed and shoved his fingers up my ass to see if I was wet. I wasn't, of course, but that didn't stop him from shoving himself into me and filling me with his knot. I thought I was gonna die. Every fucking time he touched me felt like the worst pain I could ever suffer through. But then he'd be done and leave me alone for a few days. I knew he'd never stop, but I didn't know what else to do. I told my mom he was hurting me, but she thought I meant he was picking on me.” Nathan stops and takes a breath as a few tears splash down onto my chest.
“I’ve got you. You’re safe now,” I whisper into his ear.
“She said it's what big brothers do. I tried to tell her he was touching me in bad places, but she wouldn't listen. I think she knew what I was saying but didn't know how to respond, so she tried to convince me it wasn't happening. She said I needed to learn to get along with my brother. I suffered for four more years before finally getting the courage and enough money together to escape."
“And that’s when you left?”
Nathan nods. “Joseph doesn’t know this, but he got me pregnant the last time he raped me. It was my first heat and I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into the house. I was barely surviving myself. I had to leave so I could have an abortion. I couldn’t even think of having his child.”
“I understand,” I say, running my hand across his shoulder. “You did what you had to do.”
His tears turn to sobs as he tries to get the last part out. “I didn’t have a lot of money, so I went to some back-alley doctor who assured me he could take care of everything.” Nathan’s tears flow freely as he sobs into my chest. “He botched me up, and now I’ll never be able to have children.”
I rub the tears on my cheeks into his silky blond hair and kiss his head. "I'm so sorry that happened. It shouldn't have, and I promise no one will ever hurt you like that again."
“You don’t have to say that. I’m damaged goods…” He pulls away from me and looks at me through the tears in his eyes. “I’m sure you’re ready for me to get out of your life now that you know the truth.”
A lump forms in my throat at his words. I swallow hard, reaching for my beer to take another sip, trying to clear away the emotions that are preventing me from speaking. “Nathan, you are not damaged in any way… Except here.” I gently place my hand on the center of his chest. “But if you’ll let me, I’ll make sure no one does any more damage to you ever again. I want to help you mend.”
Tears are falling steadily down his face as he pulls back and looks into my eyes. “How can you even want me?”
The amount of pain this man has gone through terrifies me, but he doesn’t realize how strong he is for coming through it all. After years of abuse by his brother, it’s understandable that he would feel small and weak. So many of us knew that Joseph Greenly was a Grade A asshole, but I had no clue about the depths to which his evil soul would tread just to satisfy his own needs. Even if that meant stripping his brother of the dignity and love he should have had when he was growing up.
“Nathan.” I say his name softly, placing my fingers on his chin and tilting his head up so he has to look at me. “You are the most wonderful man I’ve ever known. You’re smart, funny, and amazingly sexy. Any man would be lucky to have you in his life… I just hope I get the chance to be that man. But if I have to settle for being your friend, I’ll be just as happy having you in my life…” I pause and give him a playful wink. “Even if I don’t get the benefit of enjoying your company in bed.” The last bit is meant to ease some of the tension he’s feeling.
When Nathan gives me a slight grin, I know my mission has been accomplished.
“But you’re so amazing and good-looking…and your body…” Nathan lets his eyes rove up and down my body. “You could have anyone you wanted. Why settle for me?”
“Because being with you wouldn’t be settling… It would be hitting the motherfucking jackpot.” I can’t hold back my grin. “I know you don’t see it, but you are truly amazing. I’m sorry about what your brother did to you. And I’m sorry your mom didn’t do anything to stop it. But I can see the man you’ve become. You’re strong…stronger than you think you are. You don’t see it in yourself, but I do, and something tells me your friends back home see it too.”
Nathan’s eyes mist again at my words. “Thanks.”
“And you deserve every bit of love and happiness in life you can get. I promise you that.”
Nathan wipes at his face, erasing the tear streaks that are beginning to dry. “You’re a pretty great guy, you know that?”
I pull him back into my chest, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tighter than I ever have before. “Thank you for telling me your story. I know it must have been difficult. And again, I’m sorry for what he did to you.”
Nathan nuzzles closer into me, allowing my body to swallow his in a protective shell. God forbid I see that fucker Joseph again. It will be more than a piece of my mind I share with him. I’ll have the sole of my boot shoved so far up his ass, he’ll wish he were dead.
But that’s not what I want to focus on right now. I tuck my anger aside as I sway to the silent music playing in my head while I hold this wonderful man.
82
Nathan
“You didn’t have to treat me to dinner.” I take a sip of wine from the glass in front of me and admire the sharp outfit Dodge is wearing. He’s matched a simple blue button-down with a solid brown sports coat and jeans. The way his shirt stretches across the muscles of his chest has me blushing at the thoughts coming to my mind. I have to focus on something else to keep my natural instincts to lubricate around him at bay.
Dodge gives me the sexy smile I’ve loved right from the start. “Getting to spend a quiet evening with you is more of a treat for me. Besides, I’ve been working a lot lately, so I wanted to spend more than a few second
s with you before we had to say goodnight.”
“I like the saying goodnight part too.” I waggle my eyebrows. And getting to stare at your gorgeous body. But I don’t verbalize the last part. “How is work? Still winning awards and knocking the pants off people?”
He chuckles as he tears a piece of bread and dips it into the olive oil mixture between us. “Not any awards that I know of… And the only person I want to knock the pants off is you.”
Warm heat flushes across my upper torso, so I grab the glass of water next to my wineglass and take a quick drink. “I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job.”
Dodge’s sexy smirk is even more of a turn-on when his eyes twinkle with it. “Hopefully I’ll be doing an even better job a little later.”
“I’d say that’s a good possibility.” My reply is just as flirty as his, and we both know another round of hot sex is due. But I don’t want to flood my basement right here in the restaurant, so I try to change the subject. “Any big projects?”
“Not really. Just a few buildings I’m working to put in bids for. What about you? How are things going with your mom’s estate?”
I chew the bread in my mouth for a minute as I think through my response. “It’s tough. You know, on one hand, I’m looking through all these memories of my family’s life. It’s kinda fun to see pictures of when I was a kid…and happy. But some of it just makes me feel as though I’m sorting through stuff for strangers.”
“I know it must be hard, but I’m proud of you for sticking with it. Just be thankful Joseph hasn’t been poking around while you’re sorting through things.”
I nod and take a sip of my wine, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I think he’s still pissed about the will.”
Dodge rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what he expected. Every parent leaves their estate to their living children. That’s not unusual.”
I chuckle. “Well, he probably hoped he was the only living child. I’m sure me popping up at the last minute put a kink in his plans.”
“Probably, but that’s too damn bad.” Dodge leans back in his chair.