by Elle Casey
Several new chairs had been brought in so that we could all be there together. We were arranged in a circle. I was positioned—not by choice—in the largest armchair with my back to the dragon tapestry. It was practically like sitting on a throne, which irritated me no end. I didn't want to be treated like royalty. In fact, I would have been happy to fade into the background, but no one else seemed to want me there. Dardennes had insisted that I be comfortable, and apparently, this was the cushiest seat in the house. At least I still had Tim with me, so I wasn't totally alone.
"Seated at the right hand of the queen. I think I like it," he said, walking up and down the arm of the velvet-covered chair. "Right Hand of the Queen. That's a title I could get used to. Maybe we should shorten it, though. I could just be: The Hand. Yeah, that's nice. Rolls off the tongue and sounds scary too."
"Forget it, pixieman," I said under my breath. "Ain't gonna happen."
"Think about it, Jayne. People would feed us grapes."
Grapes were one of his very favorite fruits. "Grapes suck."
He gasped. "How dare you."
The dragons were still inside the fabric of the tapestry, and I could very clearly see and hear them moving around, even without the help of a buggane martini. I ignored them and Tim's further conversation, which detailed the value of a fruit so versatile that it could be both a healthy snack and an alcoholic beverage, in favor of listening to the group of crusty old fae telling me how I should live my life.
"Now that she is back, she must commit to working with the Council and the gray elves to fill in the spaces of time that were missed," Red said.
Niles spoke up before I could share my two cents. "Agreed. Once we have the full story, we will be able to come up with our battle plan to defeat these monsters once and for all."
"I have no problem with that," I said. I was totally on board with monster defeating and finally finding out what had happened while I was gone. I was thrilled to know that the Council's plans and mine had finally aligned. Better late than never.
Céline nodded her head at me and smiled. Dardennes spoke before Red could contribute again. "I think we can all agree on the fact that there is a story to be told here and pieces to put together. However, I believe it is imperative that we work, in parallel, at building our defenses and creating a net to capture these beings once they make an appearance."
"A net?" I was picturing a Spider-Man type situation where there were witches standing at the four corners of the Green Forest, shooting webs out of their wands to capture a bunch of ghosts as they came up out of the ground. I was pretty sure my vision was completely wrong, but that didn't stop my brain from making the illusion very detailed.
"Do we have any idea where they are going to appear first?" Aiden asked.
"No, we don't." Jared answered.
"If Ben were here, he would know," said a dark fae green elf who I didn't know by name.
I shot him a dirty look as a lump rose in my throat. If his intention was to make me feel like crap, he had succeeded.
"Somebody's begging for a dusting," Tim said in my ear.
"Ben is not here now, nor will he be in the future. However, we have our Mother," Dardennes said as he looked at me. The entire room went silent. Obviously they were waiting for me to contribute something worthwhile. Maybe even a pep talk. Unfortunately, that was Scrum's area of expertise, not mine.
"This is your moment, Big J. You got this," my roommate counseled. "Don't screw it up."
"Shush," I whispered. I cleared my throat before I began. "I'm sorry that Ben isn't here. That's on me." I held up my hand for silence when both Céline and Dardennes looked like they were going to interrupt me. I was pretty sure they were coming to my defense, but there was no point. They were wasting their time. Everyone in that room, including me, knew what had happened and what Ben had sacrificed so that I could survive.
"Ben's a hero, plain and simple. He put the needs of all of the fae ahead of his own, and now he's gone. And if I can ever get him back for you, I will, you can trust me on that." I looked at each fae separately so they would know I was making a promise I planned to follow through on. If I could get him back, I would. First, though, I was going to do what he had told me to do—defeat the Forsaken. After that mission was accomplished, I'd focus on getting our Wind and Fire elemental back in the Here and Now where he belonged. Screw this wielding four elements shit. I was not interested.
"My understanding is some big bad mofos are about to show up in our realm, and they're coming for me. Ben passed his elements on to me so that I could be armed to fight them off. Now…I have realized very recently that it is super easy for me to disappear into my elements, so I will try really hard not to let that happen again since I know we no longer have somebody available to come rescue me."
Aiden gave me a brief, sad smile before I continued.
"I know that Ben did a lot of scrying and that it's generally frowned upon around here, but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to see what's going on so that we can have some advance notice. And if anybody knows what these Forsaken are capable of, maybe you could help me figure out how to train to better deal with them when they show up."
I waited for someone to respond but everyone was looking at each other as if they didn't want to break the bad news to me.
"What? Just tell me. It's better that I know everything than run around with my hands tied behind my back." I was waiting for someone to tell me that these Forsaken were undefeatable and we were screwed, that no matter how hard I trained and no matter what skills I acquired, it wouldn't be enough.
Everyone looked to Dardennes. He sat up straighter and folded his hands, resting them on the table in front of him. He spoke directly to me.
"The Council is not of one mind with regard to what your role should be in this confrontation."
I frowned at him, not sure I understood, but I didn't interrupt. He had the look of a teacher about to deliver a very long and boring lecture. And since I was going to be a mom, I had to do the opposite of what I really wanted to do, which was roll my eyes, sigh, and try to change the subject. Instead, I leaned in and listened attentively.
"Some believe that you should be hidden away and protected. The reason for this is not because we feel you are incapable, but because as our Mother and an elemental who wields all four elements, you are extremely valuable to the entire fae community. Should the need arise for leadership when the end has unfolded, the fae who remain would need your presence as not only someone to guide them but someone to inspire them in dark times."
My panic level rose to about eight on the holy-shit scale hearing that, because it sounded like he was talking about an all-out apocalypse or something.
"Your ability to wield all four elements would also be a very potent weapon if under the control of someone with bad intentions."
I couldn't argue with that logic. I was able to comasize people with only two elements, so I could only imagine what would happen with four of them at my fingertips. Could I accidentally commit mass murder? I wouldn't put it past me. Not that I would do it on purpose, but I did have an issue with a lack of control in pretty much all phases of my life.
"Others believe that the only way the Forsaken could ever be defeated is by an elemental wielding all of the elements, and in so thinking, believe this elemental should be at the head of our armies leading the charge."
I noticed he didn't say me specifically—Jayne the elemental. I looked around the table and realized pretty much everyone there was wishing it was Ben sitting on their council throne and not me. I couldn't say as I blamed them though, so I didn't hold it against them. I also wished it was Ben there in my place. Not only would he have had the confidence to do what needed to be done, he also had the experience and the ability to wield the elements a lot better than I did. Ben, why did you have to leave? I need you.
A voice coming from behind me startled the crap out of me. "I'm here. If you have questions, all you must do is ask."
/> CHAPTER SEVEN
I SPUN AROUND in my seat and stared at the empty space and the tapestry behind me. "What the hell?"
Dardennes had started speaking again, but I wasn't paying attention to him anymore. He stopped and the room went silent, but I didn't care what the Council was doing. I got up out of my chair and walked over to stand in front of the tapestry. Creatures were swooping around and shimmering within the fabric and individual threads. Sparkly things winked out at me, the reflections off dragon scales and what looked like random pieces of magic just floating in the atmosphere. I could clearly identify Heryon by her coloring, and beside her floated a smaller golden dragon. It was facing me. I couldn't remember ever seeing this one before. I walked closer. "Am I imagining it, or did you just talk to me?"
I could hear Red's voice behind me. "I told you she's not capable. She has clearly lost her mind. For fae's sake, she's talking to a tapestry!"
Somebody shushed him. I think it was Aiden.
"I am here in a limited capacity," said the dragon. "If you have questions, ask them. I will do my best to help you."
Call me crazy, but I could have sworn I was talking to a newly born Ben-dragon. It didn't sound exactly like the fae who used to hang out in this living room, but it was similar—it was his voice mostly, but his tone made him seem a lot older and a lot less connected, if that makes any sense. He reminded me of the dragons I'd spoken to before—all-knowing, wise, and not at all personally invested in what was going on with the fae.
"Where are you right now?" I asked. If I knew where he was, I could get to him, I was sure of it. I had all four elements at my disposal. All I had to do was figure out how to use them.
"It doesn't matter," he responded.
"It matters to me. And I think it matters to everyone else, too. We're all very sad that you're gone." I took a moment to look over my shoulder at the group. Every single one of them including Tim were staring at me with questions in their eyes and their mouths hanging open. Only one of them seemed to be comprehending it—Aidan. After the initial shock wore off, he gave me a slight nod of his head encouraging me on. I turned back to face the golden beast.
"I am everywhere and nowhere. I am here, there, and anywhere, while also being nowhere."
I frowned. "You know, you're sounding a lot like a dragon right now." Dragon-speak was seriously annoying, and he was totally nailing it.
"Ask your questions and I will seek to answer them."
I put my hands on my hips. "What the heck am I supposed to do? That's my question. I don't have any idea and neither does anybody else."
"Use the gifts you have been given to do the right thing."
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "Oh, that is so very helpful. Thank you so much for clearing that up. I don't know why I didn't think of that plan myself."
"You must trust your instincts. They are the conduit to your divine guidance."
"Are you serious?" He must have forgotten all those other times I followed my instincts and put myself and about a hundred other fae into hot water.
"What did he say?" Aiden asked.
"What did who say? Who is she talking to? Is she hearing voices?" This was from Niles. "It could be the Forsaken. Perhaps the tapestry is a portal into the Neverworld."
I glared over my shoulder and shushed him. "I'm trying to have a conversation here, do you mind?"
I turned back to Ben and his dragon buddies. "Could you please be more specific? I know you're not functioning on this human or fae plane anymore, but we kind of deal in more solid terms down here. I hope you haven't already forgotten that much about us."
"You are too absorbed by the details. That is not what should concern you right now. What is your purpose? What is your role? What matters most to any human or fae? Answer those questions and you shall have all the guidance you need."
"What matters most to people? I don't know… money? Power?" That seemed to be what most people I knew were always after.
"No. And you know better than that."
I didn't want to say the next option out loud because it sounded goofy, but it also felt the most right. "Love?"
"Well done. You are following your instincts already. Love is your overall mission. That is your goal."
I sighed, my shoulders hanging low. "So, what you're saying is, I am going to defeat evil by spreading love around the world. Excellent. Move over, Mother Teresa, here comes Mother Jayne. World peace is just around the corner."
"Your sense of humor will help. Don't lose it. Do not underestimate the stakes for which you are playing. This is not a game. The outcome will have far-reaching effects for fae and humans alike."
"Yeah, so I heard. So, what am I supposed to do now, since it involves everyone on the planet? Am I supposed to start recruiting humans into this deal too or what?"
"I cannot see the future, and I do not advise you trying to see it either, but I will tell you that all creatures on the earth are connected. All creatures great and small, loud and silent, seen and unseen, breathing or merely existing—they are all connected. I can see the connections now. You need to see these connections, too. You must take action in the interest of every creature as a whole community and not on behalf of any specific group."
He was talking about being fair and not thinking about what I wanted or what Dardennes wanted or what the President of China wanted. I had to make sure that whatever happened, every creature on earth could continue to survive and thrive on their own terms…be free to choose and to love and to be loved. I could kind of see his logic when he broke it down into something simple like he had. Fact is, the entire world would be a better place if we were all working toward the same goal. United in love, we could defeat any evil that came at us.
So, yeah. I nodded at that nutty golden dragon, letting him know that I was on board with his plan, even though it was the outer limits crazy kind. I could deal with this grand scheme, even though world peace wasn't a goal I felt confident I could accomplish; too many people would be impossible to convince for the entire world to work together toward one single purpose. But I could sure follow this basic principle to help get rid of those Forsaken dudes. All I had to do was unite the fae toward this one path—love your brother and all that—and I'd be on easy street. Good always triumphs over evil, right? It did in the movies, anyway.
Working with the earth element had made it clear to me how we are all connected and how every living thing is part of a single whole. I realized with his description, though, that I had always limited my connection to the trees and the fae, but the links weren't that limited in actuality. Every single thing roaming the planet, flying over it, or rooted into it was part of one big system, and if any part of that system collapsed, it would bring everything down with it eventually. As my mind started figuring this out, I realized that my thoughts about uniting the fae might actually be a little bit too limiting. Could this work without humans being involved? From the way the fae were always freaking out about the Forsaken and their power, I highly doubted it.
I moved in closer to the tapestry and lowered my voice so the rest of the Council wouldn't hear what I was going to say. "Hey, Ben…it looks like your big plan to integrate with the humans might work out after all."
"Whatever plan I may have had while living as a fae in the Here and Now is no longer relevant."
"Yeah, well, it kinda seems like nothing we were working toward before is relevant anymore. Like it was all just a big waste of time." We had spent so many months fighting the Dark Fae, only to integrate with them after. And then we were fighting demons and yet the Forsaken were on their way anyway, and they were supposedly worse. What was the point of all of it? It had felt like we were doing great and important things at the time, but now it looked like all we'd been doing was running around in circles chasing our tails. The real challenge lay beyond our borders. It lay beyond our realm. It was inside our hearts and inside the hearts of every living creature on this planet.
"Every step you take
places you farther down the path you are meant to travel," the golden dragon said. "You can't get to the end without finishing the beginning and the middle. No time is wasted. No lesson is ever useless. You live and you learn. Take all of the things you've learned and put them into practice. You are the Mother and the Father of the Fae now. Pull the fae into your heart and give them all of your love. Give them all of you, as I gave myself to you."
I started to cry when I realized that Ben, with his sacrifice, had become my own personal Jesus, something I had mocked before. He had literally given his life for mine so that I could go out into the world and do great things. He was asking so much of me, and I wanted to do what he wanted me to do, but I just didn't know if I could. Hell, I could barely even pass math class. "I will try."
"Don't try. Do. You are capable. You are worthy. And even though you are not perfect, you are plenty good enough. You have a big heart. You love fiercely. You are loyal to the power of good. You shun the power of evil at every turn. You are going to be tested, but if you remember what is important, you will succeed because you are strong." After he delivered this amazingly powerful and scary-as-shit soliloquy, he faded out to nothingness, swallowed up by the threads of the tapestry. The purple dragon disappeared shortly thereafter.
I nodded and turned around when I got the sense that Ben was no longer with me, having taken his wise and all-knowing mojo with him off into Everywhere-and-Nowhere-Land. I faced the Council, focusing on Tim who had been sitting on the back of my chair but who now stood to face me. His shimmering cloak waved behind his legs as he adopted his superhero stance, his hands on his hips and his chin in the air.