Elf Puncher

Home > Other > Elf Puncher > Page 16
Elf Puncher Page 16

by Simon Archer


  I held tight to my own success and the pat on the back Barth gave me. He nodded in solidarity.

  “You should clean yourself up,” he advised.

  “I want to make sure Deity saw,” I said as I pointed a still-gloved hand towards her and Nyah.

  “Oh, she saw,” Barth confirmed, “but I don’t think she liked it all that much.”

  “What do you mean?” I said, a little frightened of his answer.

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was focused on the fight nearly the whole time,” Barth prefaced. “But she watched most of it through her fingers or staring at the floor. I think it’s a little much for her.”

  I swallowed my disappointment. “It was her first one.”

  “I know,” Barth said, “but it might also be her last.”

  We watched Deity help Nyah to her feet, arms slung over one another. I stepped forward, intending to help but was fiercely reminded of my own injured body. I groaned and reached a gloved hand up to my eye.

  Barth ducked under the ropes and took Nyah’s other arm over his own shoulder. “Hey, let me take her back to the house.”

  “I can do it,” Deity protested.

  “I know you can, but please, let me,” Barth said. He gestured his head back towards me.

  “Wait,” Nyah said with a hoarse voice. She pushed herself off Barth and approached me, albeit rather wobbly like the ground beneath her feet sped up. “Good fight.”

  Nyah held out a glove, and I tapped mine to hers.

  “You hung in there,” Nyah said, surprise coating her voice. “I normally can get a creature down sooner than that.”

  “I figured that was your strategy,” I admitted.

  “I underestimated you, human,” Nyah confessed. “I realize that was a mistake.”

  “I’m counting on more people making it,” I said. I tried to smile, but it hurt my eye to try to move any muscles on that side of my face.

  “Resilience is a skill you should hone,” Nyah suggested. “It’ll serve you well, I think.”

  Nyah looped her arm back around Barth. He led the half-elf out of the barn, and I watched the pair of them go. Deity and I stood in the barn alone, not saying a word to one another.

  I allowed myself to sit. I dipped a cloth in a nearby water bucket and wiped myself with cold water. Deity crossed over to me and placed her hand on mine. She took the cloth out of it and dabbed at my eye. Her touch was gentle and eased against the wound in the right places.

  The water droplets dripped down my face and collected in the crook of my neck. I let the coolness soothe me. Paired with Deity’s touch, it was the best medicine I could have asked for.

  “You did great up there,” Deity whispered. Her voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear her. It didn’t help that she spoke to the floor rather than to me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered back just as softly.

  “I mean, I didn’t enjoy watching you get the living daylights beat out of you,” Deity said quickly, her words tumbling over one another. “That was painful.”

  “You’re telling me,” I grumbled with a wince as the cloth ran over a particularly delicate spot.

  “It’s going to take some getting used to, is all,” Deity said. She moved the cloth up to my hairline. She squeezed it tighter, and more of the water dripped out. “But you really were… I don’t know, something else up there.”

  “Not in a bad way, I hope,” I said, a little disappointed by her words.

  “Oh, no!” Deity corrected quickly. “In a good way. The best way. You’re excellent and focused and strong and--”

  I interrupted her by pulling her down onto my lap. Deity released a delightful squeal. Despite being sore, the weight of her comforted me. Her mere presence reassured me, so much so that I didn’t want her to leave.

  “You can keep complimenting me if you like,” I encouraged.

  “Nah, I don’t think your head needs to get any bigger,” Deity said with a coy smile. “Especially if that welt keeps growing.”

  Deity tapped my injured eyebrow with her exposed finger. I leaned back and winced sharply. Deity whacked me on the shoulder.

  “Oh, don’t be such a baby,” she teased.

  “She put up a good fight,” I defended. “She hit me pretty hard.”

  “Yes,” Deity said slowly, “but you put up a better fight. You beat her, and you did great.”

  My face broke into a wide and goofy grin. I leaned forward and kissed Deity. She giggled beneath my lips, but then kissed me back. When her lips ran over my cut, I hissed.

  Deity leaned back and patted my cheek tenderly. “We should get you cleaned up, though.”

  “Probably,” I groaned, not wanting to move.

  Deity slid off my lap and held out her hand. I took it and hoisted myself onto my feet with a sizable groan. We walked to the door hand-in-hand when Deity stopped suddenly. My arm pulled back in the socket, and I had to drop the grip.

  “What is it?”

  “I just keep thinking about what Nyah said,” Deity contemplated.

  “What specifically?” I wondered.

  “About resilience,” Deity mused as her gaze drifted up into the air. “You know, it was resilience that won you that fight. It’s the trait that has led you to pursue being a fighter.”

  The words came together in my head. But I let them roll about in there as I practiced the cadence.

  “Rico the Resilient,” I voiced aloud.

  “Hm,” Deity hummed. “It has a nice ring to it, if I do say so myself.”

  “Hey,” I said indignantly, “I came up with the title.”

  “Yeah, but I gave you the idea,” Deity defended. She wrapped her fingers in mine again. “You can have the credit, though, as long as you don’t forget where it came from.”

  “Never.” I leaned in for a kiss, and this time, it didn’t hurt one bit.

  18

  Being a half-elf, Nyah recovered quickly. Deity helped with some of the nastier wounds I gave her, but it was her magical properties that healed her up enough to be ready to leave the next day.

  We stood out on the porch of the farmhouse, saying our goodbyes. Deity loaded Nyah up with a travel basket of food to take with her back to the city.

  “Okay, those have cranberries, and these square-shaped ones have an orangey flavor to them,” Deity explained as her finger pointed to each of her original creations. “This spherical one on top is filled with jelly, so make sure it doesn’t get squished or else you’ll have strawberry jelly on all of them.”

  “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t mind that,” Nyah said with a smile, “considering your strawberry jelly is the best I have ever tasted. And I’ve eaten at the Carlvel.”

  Deity’s face flushed the color of her outstanding jelly. “Oh, you’re just saying that.”

  “I’m just saying it because it’s true,” Nyah persisted. “You’re an excellent baker, Deity. I can’t wait to come back and see what else you’ve cooked up.”

  “Oh, Nyah, you’re welcome back any time,” Deity said as she wrapped the half-elf in a hug. “I’ll test out all of my new concoctions on you.”

  “I would love that!” Nyah said with bright eyes.

  The half gave my girlfriend’s hand a squeeze before turning her gaze to me. She offered me a soft smile. From her glowing skin and soft complexion, no one would have guessed that I gave her a broken nose and a black eye the day before. I, on the other hand, still nursed my ribs and swollen eye. Deity’s remedies helped, but my road to recovery would definitely take longer.

  “Thank you for saving me, Rico,” Nyah said, her voice strong and affirming.

  “It was nothing,” I said humbly. “I just did what anyone else would have done.”

  “Anyone else would have robbed me blind and left me for dead,” Nyah said with a shrug.

  “I just wish I knew who had done that to you,” I said as I thought back to her broken body stretched out in the middle of the field.

  “Me too,” Nyah
sighed, “but I have resources back in the city that will help me find out. And I promise those dragon’s asses will pay.”

  “I have no doubt you can hold your own,” I complimented. I lifted the corner of my mouth into a half-smile. “I’ve experienced it first hand.”

  She looked me straight in the eye. “And I yours. I’m grateful you indulged my fighting spirit.”

  “It was nice to fight someone other than Barth,” I admitted with a casual shrug.

  “I don’t think you get it, Rico,” Nyah said slowly. “I’m a half. Other than Warpin, we don’t get a lot of chances to step into the ring either, but you gave me a chance, and I appreciate that. I’m grateful for that.” She stepped forward and put her lengthy fingers on my chest before tapping me once, twice. “You treated me as an equal by fighting me and saving my life. I won’t forget what you have done for me.”

  I swallowed audibly, intimidated by her closeness and her honesty. “Well, like Deity said, you’re welcome back anytime.”

  “I plan to take you up on that.” Nyah pointed her finger at me and then at Deity. “I will see you both another time.”

  “Until next time Nyah,” Deity said with a wave as the half-elf walked down the steps, basket in hand.

  Nyah offered a final wave and then disappeared behind the house, on her way back to the city. Deity sighed and leaned into the crook of my arm, where she fit nicely. I held her close to me and kissed the top of her head.

  “I like baking for creatures,” Deity whispered, her voice so soft I almost didn’t catch it.

  “You should do it more often,” I suggested. “We can go about the countryside, delivering pastries for all.”

  “As nice as that sounds,” Deity said with a small smile, “I want to make money for what I do. I want a kitchen, like the one you have, to do it in. My name on the door: Deity’s Bakery!” My woman held out her hands in front of her, seeing the marquee in her mind’s eye. She sighed and leaned her head back against my chest.

  “I don’t know, Rico,” Deity lamented. “I don’t know if it will ever happen, but a girl’s gotta hope, right?”

  “Right.” I turned myself so that we could face her other. I rested my hands on her shoulders and bent down to face her head-on. “We both have to keep hoping.”

  “I know, I know,” Deity said. She fell into my arms and pressed her forehead to my chest.

  I rested my chin atop her head and held her there for a moment. The familiar scents of sugar and butter wafted up from her hair, and I inhaled her. She released a sizable exhale and pulled away from me.

  “I think I’m going to bake some banana bread to make me feel better,” Deity said with her hands on her hips. Her expression grew determined and a little brighter at the thought of banana bread. “Yes, that sounds like a plan. If you come find me in a bit, I will sneak you a piece. Barth will never have to know.”

  Deity gave me a peck on the lips before heading into the house. I watched her go, the sway of her hips teasing me as she went. I pulled my gaze away from her backside and out to the land before me.

  Despite being the middle of the harvest season, there was still plenty of green about the farm. Some of the leaves on the apple trees stubbornly refused to fall, and plush leaves from the vegetable patch bloomed. I gazed out on my land and allowed a smile to cross my lips.

  It was reassuring to know that Nyah had found a place here. Barth and Gerry had as well. Even now, Barth was out in the fields with Graham bouncing along behind him. I spent so much time alone recently, with just me and the land. Now that there were people to share it with, it finally seemed right. There was too much of this farm for one person to enjoy on his own.

  As my eyes gazed out among the hills, I saw a small figure approach. I shielded the top of my eyes with my hand, blocking any glare from the sun. Just beyond the nearest hill, Gerry ran towards me. His hand was up in the air. It waved wildly, like a white flag of surrender.

  As he got closer, I could see that the gnome beamed. His bright, wide smile could be seen for smiles. We hadn’t seen him since he ventured off yesterday to get my papers. I wondered if something was wrong, considering we weren’t expecting him back for several more days.

  I ventured off the porch and jogged a bit to meet the gnome in the middle. “What is it, Gerry? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong!” Gerry all but shouted. He jumped into the air like an over-eager puppy, awaiting a treat. “Unless you count the fact that what we are doing all around is rather wrong and illegal. But other than the obvious, absolutely nothing.”

  “So, why are you here?” I asked. “You were supposed to be getting the papers so I could fight.”

  Gerry arrogantly fluttered his lips. He waved me off with one hand as it clutched a brown folder. “I got them, alright.”

  “I wanna see them,” I said as I reached out for the documents.

  Gerry snapped his arm back away from me. Suddenly, the folder disappeared. “You can see them after Barth does. I need to rub it in his face that I did it and did it well.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Gerry, what’s the big deal? Barth let you get the papers. Why isn’t that enough?”

  “It’s the principle of it, Rico,” Gerry argued. “Barth ran the show the whole time we worked together. He took all of the credit and most of the money. When he got busted, I tried to tell people who I was, but they wouldn’t take me seriously. No one believed I worked with Bartholomew. I want the credit I deserve.”

  “Okay,” I sighed. “Do you want to wait for him here, or do you want to go out in the field and find him?”

  “Let’s go find him!” Gerry said, his eagerness showing up in full force. He spun on his heel and skipped down the hill. “Coming, Rico?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

  We found Barth by finding Graham. I whistled out for the dog. My call pierced the air like a knife slicing through bread. It took two fingers in my mouth and an odd curling of my tongue, but the sound echoed throughout the field.

  Gerry bent over and covered his ears. “Walden! Warn a gnome next time, will you?”

  I shrugged by means of apology and waited for the dog to appear. Nearly a minute later, Graham’s black and white self burst onto the scene. He raced up to us and came on at full charge. Gerry squeaked and hopped behind me in order to avoid the dog. However, Graham immediately halted at my feet. He sat pretty and looked right up at me with his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

  “Find Barth, boy,” I commanded the dog. “Find Barth.”

  Graham’s tongue snapped back into his mouth, and his grin disappeared. He cocked his head to one side, and his eyes went lazy as if to say: “I was just with him, you idiot.”

  Regardless, Graham lifted himself on all fours and did as he was told. He led the way west, supposedly towards Barth.

  We found the elf by a short creek on the westernmost point of the property. The sun was high in the sky when we reached him, but a heavy breeze kept the heat off us.

  Barth sat at the edge of the creek with his bare feet in the water. He leaned back on his hands and stretched his face up towards the sky. His eyes were closed, and his lips narrowed into a line like he was humming something. I confirmed my guess when we got closer as we could hear a soft melody coming from him.

  “Maybe we should come back later,” I whispered to Gerry.

  “I wanna show him what I did,” Gerry protested.

  “He can see it closer to dinner or something,” I suggested. “He just looks so serene right now. We don’t need to interrupt that.”

  “You already have by your obnoxious voice and loud footfalls,” Barth interjected, his eyes still closed. “What do you want?”

  “I got the papers,” Gerry announced proudly. Right then, the folder he had before reappeared in his hand. He held them above his head, his arm as straight as a child waiting to be called on in class.

  Barth’s eyes popped open, but he didn’t turn to look at
us. “That’s impossible.”

  “No, it’s not,” Gerry argued.

  “There’s no way your contact did it in a day,” Barth said as he whipped his head over his shoulder to glare at Gerry in harsh disbelief.

  “Well, she did,” Gerry said smugly, “and she did a damn good job too.”

  “Let me take a look.” Barry held out his hand.

  “I would like a ‘Thank you’ first,” Gerry demanded.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Gerry,” Barth said with a heavy sigh. “Just give me the papers.”

  “How about a ‘Well done’?” Gerry suggested. “Would that kill you?”

  “It just might,” Barth replied blandly. “Give me the papers.”

  As Gerry was so consumed with getting Barth’s approval, he didn’t notice me as I stood behind him impatiently. I reached out and snatched the papers out of the gnome’s hand. He made a gurgling sound in protest, but as I was three times his height, he didn’t do more than that to get them back.

  I held out the papers to Barth, who took them with a grateful nod. The elf opened the folder and flipped through the documents with a critical eye. We waited, with only the sound of the wind dancing through the grass beneath our feet.

  I tried not to hold my breath as Barth looked over the papers. I told myself I had to keep breathing. If something were wrong, Barth would notice, and then we would just get them re-done. Although, I knew there were only so many forgers we could go to before we got caught or ran out of options.

  These documents were the first step to my ability to be able to fight for the MFL. These would prove that I was eligible as a half-giant. Then I would have to complete an interview and show my special move. We had a plan for those steps, and they were still a ways away, but the anticipation of them tightened my throat even more.

  “Not bad,” Barth grunted.

  “Not bad?” Gerry exclaimed with a disproportionate amount of outrage. “They’re practically perfect.”

  “They’ll do just fine,” Barth declared. He slipped the documents back in the folder and set it on the grass beside him.

  Gerry huffed and stomped back the way we came.

 

‹ Prev