Elf Puncher

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Elf Puncher Page 19

by Simon Archer


  “It would be an honor,” I said before I was able to stop myself.

  The idea of fighting Warpin, despite his weird demeanor just now, still plucked at my childhood heartstrings. It was a sign of reaching the pinnacle of my hopes and dreams, what it would mean to be at the level where I could be a fighter of his quality. But hearing the suggestion come from his lips made the whole desire grow stronger and become more real than it ever had before.

  “Hornace,” Warpin called out suddenly. Though he spoke to someone else, his hooded gray eyes with flecks of red in them never left me.

  “Yes?” the elf with the bushy eyebrows who had evaluated my special move piped up.

  “Put this Rico the Resilient on the roster,” Warpin commanded. “I’ll sponsor his entry fee. I haven’t had the pleasure of fighting a half-giant and would very much like the opportunity to do so.”

  “But Warpin,” the elf called Hornace started in protest, “you know that we have to send all of the names to the North board for evaluation.”

  “Well, then send Rico’s name with my recommendation,” Warpin suggested slyly. “If they’re smart, they’ll add him to the list.”

  “Thank you, Warpin,” I said, my manners coming out naturally. “You really don’t have to do that.”

  The half-giant gave me a once over. “Yes, I do. We need to see what kind of fighter you are, don’t we?”

  “One of the best,” I replied without hesitation.

  Warpin released one of those earth-shaking laughs. “We’ll be the judge of that, won’t we?”

  “I’ll prove it to you in the ring,” I countered, finding a buried amount of courage beneath all of my nervousness and anxiety.

  The fighter turned to head back up the stairs to his darkened seat. He spared one glance over his shoulder. “We’ll see about that. Luck to you, Rico.”

  “Luck to you,” I responded in kind.

  I wanted to get out of the spotlight just then. My lungs craved fresh air and a full breath unclouded by terror. So, my legs brought me down the stairs and out the door. I offered Rachael a polite wave as I passed her table, which she returned. I burst out onto the street with a massive exhale.

  Little did I know that I had been holding my breath that whole way out the door. Now, I gulped the air like a sailor recovering from being thrown overboard and almost drowning. Though the city air wasn’t as clean as the country air I was used to, it was better than the suffocating nature of that arena. I was grateful to be released from Warpin’s intense gaze.

  For the first time all day, I let myself relax. Since we arrived in the city, I had been a bundle of jitters, brought on by nerves. After all, if this didn’t work, if we were caught, the three of us could be arrested. I could lose Deity, the farm, all of it. However, I reassured myself over and over again that this was worth it. The risk would be worth it if I could get into that ring.

  I still knew that to be true, but the scrutiny from Warpin brought a whole level of nervousness to the situation.

  In the middle of my plight, Gerry appeared. He slid around the side of me to face me dead on.

  “Rico!” he shouted with both arms raised victoriously in the air. “You did it! You got in!”

  “Barely,” I countered. “I wasn’t planning on an impromptu interview with Warpin the Relentless.”

  “Are you kidding?” Gerry argued. “You couldn’t have asked for better PR. Now that Warpin has challenged you, you’re on everyone’s radar.”

  “Wait.” I held out my hands to stop the gnome. “He didn’t challenge me.”

  “Well, not directly, but calling you out like that, in front of everyone?” Gerry said with a low whistle. “It was perfect. Just what we needed. I can’t wait to tell Barth how well you did.”

  “Keep your voice down,” I scolded. “We’re still too close to the gym.”

  “I’m sorry,” Gerry said, doing as I asked and lowering his voice. “I’m just excited. Aren’t you excited?”

  “I’m excited,” I said unconvincingly.

  “Oh, sure,” the gnome called me out. “You sound all kinds of excited right now.”

  “Fine, I’m more nervous than excited,” I admitted.

  “Why?” Gerry asked. “The hardest part is over. You’re in. Now all you have to do is fight.”

  Gerry’s words hit my ears and stopped my racing brain in its tracks. He was right. I was officially entered in the MFL or, well, was as good as entered with Warpin’s recommendation. After all these years, all this training, I was finally going to get my chance to compete in a MFL fight. I was going to get my chance in the ring.

  “You’re right, Gerry,” I said.

  “I’m sorry.” The gnome held a hand to his pointed ear as if he couldn’t hear me. “I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

  “I said, you’re right, Gerry,” I obliged in giving him the satisfaction.

  “You better share that with Barth,” Gerry said with a pointed expression.

  “Don’t count on it,” I joked back as I felt a weight lift off my chest, finally allowing room for excitement.

  21

  Rico the Resilient was on the official roster for the North MFL tournament. It was an incredible feeling to see my name on the projections leading up to the start of the tournament. There were twenty-four of us in the heavyweight category to start. The whole thing lasted a week, but already there was analysis and speculation about the ultimate winner in the title championship match.

  There were eight returning fighters who all got to skip the first round. It was us newbies that had to compete in an extra fight to get ourselves to face off against the crowd favorites.

  My opponent for the first fight was a giant named Dendril the Storm. He was on the smaller side for a giant and had the ability to dissipate into a gaseous form for thirty seconds. Any fighter that touched him while in gas form would be subject to an intense spark of lightning. Luckily, the smoke stayed in the shape of his normal form, so all I had to do was avoid the giant and his blows for thirty seconds.

  I practiced my dodges with Barth and Gerry in the apartment. Due to Barth’s ban, we couldn’t go to any nearby gyms, so we utilized Gerry’s illusion magic to its capacity. Barth adopted Dendril’s fighting style which was defensive in its own right, wanting to catch you in your own mistake. I managed to beat him in the mock match we did. Barth refused to let me practice again.

  “We need to save your face,” he explained, even though I wanted to get as much practice in as possible.

  “We don’t need you brain dead out there,” Barth argued.

  Eventually, I relented and stuck to my jump rope and shadowboxing.

  Ever since Warpin called me out in the arena, I got an unexpected amount of publicity. My face appeared on numerous projections as they speculated about the new half-giant, challenging Warpin’s status as the only professional half fighter. It was true that we were the only two in the tournament. Despite all those halves present at the sign-ups, I was the only one to get in.

  Barth argued that it was due to Warpin’s blessing.

  “I know that as a half-giant, you were legally allowed to fight, but we still had to get you past the biased judges,” Barth said one night.

  “Wait.” I stopped him by holding up a hand. “You mean that even after all this, there still might have been a chance that they denied me?”

  “Yep,” Barth said casually as he chomped into his dinner.

  We splurged and went in on chicken wings. Unlike Gerry and Barth’s, mine were grilled. It wasn’t as good as their breaded heaven, but I was happy with this sauce which Barth approved of, thank Walden.

  “You didn’t think to tell me that before going through all this?” I countered.

  “I didn’t want you to worry,” Barth said with a full mouth. He swallowed before continuing. “The MFL are biased dragon’s asses. It took a hell of a lot to get Warpin in there, but now that he’s there, it’s even harder for halves to get in.”

 
“What do you mean?” I asked. “I thought his presence would be opening doors for all kinds of races.”

  “That’s what he wants you to think,” Barth said as he pointed a half-eaten chicken wing in my direction. “But you know almost all the competitors and their stats. How many halves have competed in a MFL tournament since Warpin?”

  My brain cycled through the numbers and came up with a surprising answer. “Just me.”

  “Exactly,” Barth concluded. “Warpin likes being the only one. He likes the privilege he gets from being the only half to compete in the MFL.”

  “Then why did he pick me?” I wondered. “If he’s so worried about keeping his place as the only half and he has as much leverage as you’re implying, why would he single me out like that?”

  “Because you’re good,” Gerry chimed in. He picked out a bit of chicken with his finger and then sucked on it before finishing his thought. “I saw you in there. You were one of the best. Warpin must have seen it too. He knew they were going to have to pick you, so instead of letting the MFL do it, he called you out as a way of giving you his blessing. He made it seem like it was his idea.”

  “Damn.” I sighed. “If that’s true, he’s really good at that whole PR thing.”

  “That’s just as much of the game as fighting is,” Barth said.

  “Then why are we hiding out in here?” I asked.

  It was a valid question considering that Barth had locked us in quarantine since Gerry and I returned from the sign-ups. Training was awkward in the limited space, but we made it work. The real problem was the sleeping arrangements since Gerry snored like a foghorn. Barth finally caved and put a silencing spell on the little gnome so he and I could get some shut-eye.

  “We’re adding to the mystery of Rico the Resilient,” Gerry jumped in excitedly. He bounced up in his seat as he spoke. “No one knows who you are or where you came from. With Warpin’s blessing and the fact that you’re from the country, it’s a perfect excuse not to push you out into the spotlight until we have to. We get to use the fact that no one knows you to our advantage.”

  “Plus,” Barth added apprehensively, “for those few who do know you, the less they see your face, the better.”

  “Well, Deity won’t tell anyone,” I assured them, unable to hide the sadness in my voice.

  I missed her, more than I could express. I wished she could be here. I could use her strength, her smile throughout all this. Especially since I was starting to get sick of just hanging out with Gerry and Barth, who bickered worse than an old married couple.

  “It’s not Deity that I’m worried about,” Barth admitted. “It’s anyone else, like that bartender friend of yours at the Blue Water Inn.”

  “I wrote to him, remember?” I said impatiently. “Herc wouldn’t spill the beans. He’ll just be excited to see me up there.”

  “And I paid off that gym leader Rico used to go to,” Gerry reminded Barth. “Rico told us there wouldn’t be anyone else. We covered our bases, Barth. Just let him enjoy it, okay?”

  “Yeah, alright,” the old elf relented with a sigh and another bite of his wing. “I just want to see you kick his ass.”

  I barked out a laugh. “I will do my damndest, Barth, you know that.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Barth said with a nod. “I’ve decided I’m going to come.”

  The elf said this to only his wings, but Gerry and I exchanged a worried glance before answering.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Barth,” Gerry said cautiously, not waking to spook the beast.

  “I deserve to see this guy fight as much as you do,” Barth said defensively. “I’ve got a disguise all planned. I tested it out the other night at some of my old stomping grounds. No one noticed a thing.”

  “Barth!” I said, appalled. “You didn’t need to be so reckless.”

  “It’s not reckless if it worked,” Barth argued. “It’s a special occasion. We’re all risking so much for this, what’s one more tiny risk?”

  Gerry and I exchanged another look. This time, the gnome offered me a shrug that seemed to say, “What are you going to do?” I had to agree with the elf. I wanted him there too, and if he said he wasn’t going to get caught, then I believed him. Barth was my coach, after all, the one who had made this dream a reality. It was only right that he showed up.

  “I’m glad to have you there, Barth,” I said, my voice catching in my throat a little bit. I cleared it and opened my mouth to continue, but Gerry cut me off by standing up.

  “Nope, I’m not going to do this,” he announced while picking up his plate.

  “Do what?” I wondered.

  “This mushy emotional stuff,” the gnome replied. “I’m not doing it. Because if we do it now, we’re going to have to do it before every fight, and I don’t know about you males, but I plan on having there be way more fights than this.”

  “Amen,” Barth agreed by lifting a chicken wing.

  “So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stop this before it even starts and head to bed,” Gerry said calmly, like a teacher instructing his students to start an assignment. “We have a fight to win tomorrow.”

  It only took us a couple of minutes to throw away the remnants of our dinner and crawl into our respective beds. Barth blew out the nearby torches, and the apartment descended into darkness.

  Crickets chirped outside, seeking a mate. I sighed at the familiar sound and closed my eyes, trying to imagine my bed in my farmhouse. I missed the feel of Deity’s body next to mine, the sound of her breathing so steady and sweet. Instead, I had the jerky breaths of Barth and the endless snoring from Gerry. While it wasn’t nearly as soothing as my girlfriend’s nightly noises, I was comforted by the sounds that reminded me. I was not alone.

  As was my habit, I got up with the sun. The morning flew by in a whirlwind. We had to get to the arena early for fittings and a walkthrough of the evening’s events. A tour guide named Opalid greeted us at the entrance, a lanky elf with tan skin, dressed to the nines. She clacked as she walked and stood nearly as tall as me, which was impressive. She presented Gerry and me with exclusive badges printed with the MFL logo.

  I gazed at mine and had to hold back tears at the sight of my name written in measured script: Rico the Resilient. Fighter.

  I leaned down to Gerry and whispered, “Do we get to keep these?”

  “For as long as you stay in the tournament,” the gnome replied with a cheeky grin. “I’ve always wanted to see my name on one of these.”

  “Me too,” I agreed. I held my badge up proudly to show him, and Gerry matched my movements so I could see his badge. It read: Gerry Polodinkisowsk. Coach.

  “I never knew your last name was so long,” I said as I squinted at the text, smaller so it could all fit. “I don’t think I ever knew your last name.”

  “Well, now you do,” Gerry huffed. “The real trick is seeing if you can pronounce it.”

  I didn’t even bother to try.

  Barth planned to show up later as a spectator, so it was just the gnome and I as we were led about the arena with the other competitors. I caught a glimpse of Dendril and his coach, a squat dwarf with a bald head but enough hair on his crimson beard to make up for it. Dendril growled at me, and I decided to stay on the opposite of the group from him. There was no need to make nice with someone you planned to beat to a pulp later.

  The most exciting part of the tour was when Opalid led me to the locker room. The first round of fighters had to share with other competitors not on their track, but once you made it to the final eight, or were a returning fighter, you got your own exclusive locker room.

  This one was longer than it was wide. Four separate sections were sectioned off by white curtains that didn’t quite reach the floor. There was a mirror, a bench, and a sink in each of the areas along with a six-foot-tall locker. Right in the center of the steel-blue locker was my name on a handwritten slip of paper slid into a slot at eye-level.

  There it was again: Rico the Resil
ient.

  “Damn, Gerry,” I muttered when we reached the end of the row where our section was. “This is really happening.”

  “Yeah, it is!” Gerry said as he leaped onto the bench. He still wasn’t anywhere close to reaching eye level with me, but I wasn’t going to complain. Whatever made the gnome feel better.

  “How are you doing, Rico?” Gerry asked me with a serious expression on his face.

  I opened my locker to find the supplies we sent ahead, all ready to go in there. My gloves swung on the hook, and extra tape and ointments for injuries were there as well. Even my little portrait of Deity that I’d snuck in as a personal item made in the inside of the door.

  “This is a full-service place,” I commented, not answering Gerry on purpose.

  The gnome was unphased by my change in subject. “Rico. How are you feeling?”

  “I don’t know,” I said as I pulled out the gloves. I bent them in my hand, stretching them out. “I’m nervous, obviously, but the excitement is definitely there too.”

  “Good, good,” Gerry said with a vigorous nod. “I gotta be honest with you, Rico.”

  “What is it, Gerry?” I asked, worried he was going to get all emotional like he didn’t want to do the previous night. Maybe he was saving it for right before the fight?

  “I’m not good at the whole pep-talk thing,” Gerry admitted. He hung his head like he was telling me had had some terminal illness. “That’s Barth’s department. I’m absolute crap at it.”

  “Oh,” I said, not quite knowing how to respond to that. “Well, you could give it a try, if you want?”

  “I’ll spare you,” Gerry said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I just wanted to warn you that if you were expecting one, you’re not getting it. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s really okay, Gerry,” I assured the gnome. “I’d prefer just to start my warm-up and get on with it.”

  “Oh, good,” Gerry said awkwardly. “That worked out then.”

  I gave him a closed-mouth smile and turned back to the locker to get some of my stretching supports. Gerry, thankfully, stayed quiet in the corner while I completed my routine. My body responded quickly and easily to each of the stretches. My blood raced through my ears as I completed a couple of quick combinations in the air. My heart pounded as I finished a series of push-ups, jumps, and lifts.

 

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