by Simon Archer
It was Graham who pulled me from the wreckage. He stuck his nose in the barn door and saw me standing in the ruin from my rage. The dog pranced over to me, carefully avoiding the splintered wood. Somehow, he found a clean spot to sit down on and looked up at me.
“What?” I growled at him.
Of course, Graham didn’t respond.
“What do you want?” I asked him, harsher than necessary.
Graham didn’t seem to mind my angry tone. He simply cocked his head to one side as if to say, “Well, look at the mess you’ve made.”
“I know, I know,” I sighed as I looked about. Though I wasn’t sure if my projected dialog with the dog meant the literal mess in the barn or the figurative mess of my lies.
Graham’s eyebrows rose, showing more of his blue eyes than I had ever seen before. His new expression taunted, “What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know, Graham,” I said as I put my head in my hands. “Barth’s in jail, and Gerry is Walden knows where. I’m probably going to be banned from ever fighting with the MFL, and now, I just ruined this barn.”
Graham’s eyebrows squatted back down, even further this time, seeming to say, “I know that part. But what are you going to do to fix it?”
“I don’t know if I can fix it,” I said aloud, even though I realized I was basically talking to myself. Something about having Graham to lament to made the whole thing seem more manageable.
The dog’s tongue lolled to the side as his mouth opened wide. “Sure, you can.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy,” I said as I gave Graham a pat on the head. “But I’m just not so sure.”
Graham barked up at me. It was a sharp and definitive bark that echoed throughout the wooden barn. Tongue firmly back in his mouth, Graham barked once more.
“What’s the point?” I pondered solemnly. “I thought that fighting was my way out of all this. My way to prove something of myself. But it turned out to be some big joke. I’ve loved this sport my whole life, and I will just never get to play it, I guess. I still have Deity, sure, but I still don’t know what to do. I’ve been so focused on fighting and getting to the MFL that, now that it’s over, I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life.”
Graham blinked once, twice up at me. “So? What are you going to do, then?”
“I don’t know!” I shouted, my own voice now echoing off the walls. I released another frustrated growl. “What am I even doing? Talking to a dog.”
Graham barked again for the third time. He was up on all fours now, his nose stuck out at me with urgency.
I sighed, realizing finally what the dog was actually trying to tell me. “Yeah, we gotta go feed everyone, don’t we?”
As if he could understand me, Graham skipped for the barn down and nudged it open for me with his nose. He waited patiently at the door to make sure I was coming.
I lumbered forward, stepping over the wreckage. I chanced a glance up at the ceiling and was grateful there didn’t seem to be any severe structural damage. Just a hell of a mess to clean up after I fed all the animals.
I started with the chickens as per usual. They seemed perky and jumped all over one another to get the feed. I tried to spread it out as evenly as I could. I remembered the first time Gerry tried to feed the chickens. Being only slightly taller than them, the group of them nearly knocked him over when he entered the coop for the first time.
When Graham and I moved onto the pigs, I remembered when Deity burnt a whole batch of apricot tarts. She stomped out to the pen and dumped the whole lot of pastries right into the trough. I swore it was the happiest day of the pigs’ whole life.
“Well, at least someone enjoyed my pastries,” Deity grumbled and then promptly started over.
The cows drudged up memories of Achter’s birth and Barth’s calming presence throughout the whole scary process. He had been so brave and then fell in love with the little calf, not so little anymore. The calf was growing into his own, slowly but surely gaining weight. I would never have the connection with Achter that Barth and even Gerry had. It hurt my heart to think that they might never see him again.
We migrated out to the fields to gather in the sheep. They ventured unusually far this time, nearly breaching the rim of the property. Graham dashed past all of the lumbering animals and herded them together. I watched him run around the fields with admirable grace and endurance. He dipped up and down the hills, never stopping once.
My memory dragged me back to when we found Nyah, wounded and helpless right around here. How grateful she was to have a place to stay and recover. She literally healed here, but I had a feeling the farm did more for her than she expected.
It seemed to have that effect on everyone who visited it. Like Barth being able to break his drinking habit. Gerry finding authority and adventure with the animals. Deity using the kitchen of her dreams.
I turned east towards the house and gazed out on it in all of its splendor. It was such a testament to my parents’ love and my childhood. However, the house and the farm had grown into something more. While we only ever shared it between the three of us, the magic of this land had touched more lives than I ever imagined, in beautiful and healing ways.
The idea struck me like a bolt of lightning. I looked on at the farmhouse, contemplated its side, and figured that the idea wasn’t too far fetched. Though, the one catch would be that I needed Deity. I needed her more than I wanted to admit, not only for this idea but also in my life. The scents of sugar and butter, her colorful tattoos, and winning smile raced through my memory.
Maybe this idea was enough to prove my commitment to her, but I knew that I had to be serious about it. I couldn’t go to her and propose this endeavor if I didn’t really mean it.
I sat down on the grass and let Graham huddle up next to me. I stared at the farmhouse and petted the dog, thinking. The fight had been exhilarating. It was everything I ever wanted when I thought about the glory of the matches. To top it off, I was excellent. I struck fear into the heart of one of the best fighters in the league, and I took down three magical beings in the process.
Pride swelled in my chest and brought tears to my eyes. It was magnificent, truly, but when I thought about being in the ring, memories of being outside of it invaded. I thought about training with Barth, his voice turning hoarse as he shouted instructions to me. Gerry played with the animals, and Deity baked in the kitchen.
This house wasn’t meant to stand empty and alone. It deserved to have creatures share in the splendor of the land and the happiness. And Deity, well, Deity deserved the world as far as I was concerned. But I could at least give her something that would mean the world. Something that would be enough.
I thought about my own happiness and reflected on my goals. Since I was younger, I believed I had to prove my worth. I had to be worthy of adoration and love by proving myself. But my friends had come to appreciate me enough to take the fall, lie for me, and tell it to me straight. In truth, I don’t know what I did to deserve that kind of friendship. Maybe nothing. Maybe that was the point.
Determination sparked in my limbs. I rubbed my hands together and stood. Graham barked and got to his feet as well.
“You ready for some renovation work, buddy?” I said as I looked down at the dog.
Graham cocked his head to one side and narrowed his eyebrows at me. He seemed to be asking, “What on earth do you mean?”
“I mean,” I said as I crouched down and scratched behind his ears, “we’re going to turn this into the place of Deity’s dreams.”
I found that as I said the words aloud that it was not only Deity’s dream but mine as well. I just hadn’t realized it before.
The next week sped by in a blur of sawdust, paint, and dust. As a bachelor, I’d definitely let the place get more rundown than it deserved. I cleaned and scrubbed my way through the home. I replenished the bedrooms with new linens and polished floors. I planted new flowers around the outside and added rockers to
the porch.
The sign was the hardest part. Art was not my strong suit, and I struggled with the lettering. It took three tries, with new pieces of wood each time, but I managed to get the display looking halfway decent. Deity might want to change it when she eventually saw it, but she had every right to do that. It was my gift to her, my way of saying, yes, you are enough for me.
Finally, I nailed the last piece in place. The sun started its descent and dipped behind the horizon right as I stepped off the ladder. I took a step back to admire my work. The farmhouse replicated the one I remembered from childhood. It gleamed like a projection, and I smiled.
Graham sat at my side and barked his approval.
“You think she’ll like it?” I asked the dog.
Graham barked again, and I took that as a yes because anything less than that would hurt my heart too much. I inhaled some courage and reached into my pocket for the gift that sat in there since the idea popped into my head.
While the thought of going to the city again brought bile to my throat, I made the journey because no one in the country could do what I wanted. I used the money I got from Nyah to commission a local jeweler for a new necklace.
Deity was always reaching for her neck, missing something that once was there. I thought this small token might be a valid replacement. There, standing on my property as the sun cast shadows onto the grass, I cracked open the box and looked at it once more.
A pendant in the shape of a pumpkin gleamed back up at me. It was pure gold and just large enough for creatures to tell what it was. It was simple, and I thought it was a good length, so it wouldn’t get in the way of her when she worked.
With a satisfying snap, I shut the box and stuck it back in my pocket. Despite knowing it was there, a glimmer of panic sliced through my brain. So I patted my bulging pocket once more to ease the anxiety. Though the nerves about confront Deity after not having spoken to her in a week persisted.
I closed my eyes and sent up a short prayer to the god Walden. “Walden, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I have to believe that I’ve done right by Deity. I need her to know she’s worth something to me, that she’s enough for me. I know we care for each other, but I want her to know she’s my everything. I believe this is the right next step for us. Together. I just hope that she sees that too. If you’ve got anyway sway, I’d appreciate the help.”
I don’t know if my prayer was heard. There was no gust of wind, no shining light, or any supernatural indication that Walden understood my plight. I figured it was worth a shot even though the god was probably too busy for my love problems.
I swallowed and cleared my throat. “You good holding down the fort while I head to the Blue Water Inn?”
Graham sat and stood up as straight as he could, like a guard on duty.
“Good dog,” I said with a reassuring pat. I made my way around the house and off down the road to meet the woman I loved and tell her so.
The whole way, I fought with myself on what to say. I mumbled words and phrases to myself. However, I often would forget one key point or another and feel like I needed to start over. I rubbed my temples and stuttered over confessing my feelings. I knew I could knock a man down to nothing and stand up to the largest creatures around. I could take a punch and broken bones. Nothing I had ever done before now scared me more than this. And I was sure that if Deity said no, it would hurt worse than any knockout blow.
There was a typical crowd at the Blue Water Inn for the Fight of the Night. The North MFL tournament was still going on, but my eyes weren’t on the projection when I entered the bar. I stared directly at the kitchen when Herc physically intercepted my view.
“Hey,” the barkeep said as he held up a hand like that alone could stop me. “I need her for one more night.”
“I know, Herc,” I conceded, “but I haven’t seen her all week, and I just want to talk to her.”
Herc eyed me, then his eyes shifted to the packed bar and then came back to me. He huffed and put his hands on his hips.
“Fine, she can take a quick break, and I mean quick.”
“Thanks, Herc,” I said with a smile and jogged back behind the door towards the kitchen door.
“Hey Rico,” Herc’s voice stopped me.
“Yeah?”
“You did good in the ring,” Herc said into the glass he dried with a rag. “Real impressive.”
I smirked, knowing that is as close as a compliment that I would get from Herc. “Thanks.”
“She’s special,” Herc said sternly, no longer speaking to the glass. His hard eyes caught mine. “You better treat her as such.”
“I understand,” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. “And I plan on it.”
Herc jerked his head back to the kitchen and returned to pouring drinks. With the bartender’s blessing, I slipped past the bar and into the back.
I realized I had never been back in these cramped quarters. There was barely enough room for someone of my size to turn in a full circle. A small wood-burning oven sat smoking in the corner, while supplies poured out of every crevice. Cups and plates and silverware stuck out from shelves while a bucket of grimy water stood at my feet. There were two doors, the one I walked through and another that led to the back of the inn. It stood open, letting in a soft breeze from the evening air.
Decidedly, I stepped through the back door and spotted Deity instantly. She was over by a spigot with an empty bucket. Her biceps bulged as she pumped the handle up and down to get water. It sploshed into the bucket at a snail’s pace. Deity paused and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand before getting back to the repetitive work.
“Hey, you, if you’re going to be out here, you could at least offer to help a girl out,” Deity called.
I don’t know how she did it because the woman never turned around to look at me. Her back was to me the whole time as I approached. Deity stepped aside and finally looked at me with a sweaty face and vicious eyes.
“Well, go on then.” She gestured to the pump. “You can do it faster than I can.”
I mimicked her position, and the metal handle whined under my grip. The water still slugged out, but it did so at a more rapid pace as I moved the lever.
“Deity,” I started, but all of the words stopped in my throat like a clogged river.
“Yes?” Deity said as she pursed her lips together, looking curious.
“I need to talk to you about something,” I admitted. My eyes focused on the pump, unable to look at her as all she did was make my thoughts disappear out of sheer nervousness.
“About what?” Deity asked in surprise. “The last time you said we needed to talk, you almost broke up with me, so if you’re going to try to do that again, I refuse to talk to you.”
“No, I don’t want to break up with you,” I said quickly. “I wanted to tell you that you were enough.”
Deity chuckled, her amusement ringing through the air. “You already told me that, Rico. If I didn’t believe you, I wouldn’t be here, still with you.”
“I know I said it, but after you left, I kept thinking of ways I could show you I meant it,” I said. I stopped pumping and stood up straight, so I could face her. I wanted her to know the seriousness of my words without any distractions or interruptions. “It took me some time, but I realized I was still angry about the MFL and fighting. I was caught up in an old dream that came true. Like you said it would.”
I licked my lips before continuing. “I had never thought about after fighting. What would my life look like? I didn’t know, and that frightened me. But I knew that whatever it was, I didn’t want a life without you.”
“Even if you never fought again?” Deity tested.
“Even if I never fought again,” I repeated like a promise. “You’re worth more to me than any of that. I spent the past week trying to figure out the best way to prove it to you. I think I found the way to do it.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the box. I held it out to Deit
y and willed her to take it. She stared at it with a raised eyebrow.
“You know I’m not much of a marriage person,” Deity said skeptically.
“I know you’re not,” I said with a small scoff. “That’s why it’s not a ring. I’m not asking you to marry me, just to be with me, for as long as you choose. I will take every moment I can with you. Please open it.”
Deity took the box from my hand and held it out on a flat palm, unimpressed. With a quick flick of her thumb, she popped the box open. The sight inside shocked her, and a gasp fell from her lips.
“I was not expecting that,” Deity said breathlessly.
“It’s a pumpkin for, you know, your pumpkin muffins,” I said, becoming surprisingly sheepish. “It’s also what I called the inn.”
“The what?” Deity’s eyes flicked up from the necklace to me.
“The Pumpkin Inn and Bakery,” I announced. “I converted the farmhouse into an inn. Ever since the inn part of the Blue Water Inn went out of business, this town’s needed one. And I thought it would be a nice feature to add on a specialty bakery to it as well.”
Deity’s hand flew up to her mouth. “Rico, that’s… that’s incredible.”
“I think you should go in there,” I gestured to the Blue Water Inn behind me, “finish out this shift and the last one you’ve promise Herc. But then you should give up your place and come home with me. But you’re your own woman. I wouldn’t dare tell you what to do.”
“And you’re okay with this?” Deity checked. “You want to run an inn with me?”
“I think it’s the best thing for that farm,” I admitted with a soft shrug. “I saw what it did for all of you, and it deserves to be shared. But yes, I want to do this. With you. We could open doors are early as tomorrow if you wanted.”
Deity shuffled towards me. She pressed herself against me and looked up into my eyes with a soft, gentle gaze.
“Maybe we can do it the day after?” she said slyly. “I think we deserve the place to ourselves for one night, don’t you?”
“Is that a yes?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Yes, you idiot!” Deity squealed. “I absolutely love this idea and can’t wait to see what you have done with the place.”