by Natalie Dean
She walked up the front steps of the little white chapel on the hill with a bundle of nerves in her stomach. Would Harley even look at her? Would he agree to listen to her quiet request for a conversation? Or would his attention be on another woman in the church? Or perhaps he was too busy with ranch duties? What if he wasn’t even there?
That thought both filled her with slight relief and then sadness. She wanted to have this conversation with him. She wanted to set things right.
She stepped inside the wood-lined space filled with chattering parishioners and nervously glanced around. Her eyes came to rest on broad shoulders and dark hair. Harley. He was here!
The next moment, her eyes searched the room and found Penny, her gaze already trained on Adeline. She nodded gently, and Adeline made her way to her seat. They had both agreed that she would wait until after the service, to be respectful of the Sunday morning focus, and then she would make her move.
Sitting through the service without distraction proved to be impossible. As many times as Adeline tried to refocus on what the reverend was saying, she found her gaze continually being drawn to Harley. Once she’d caught him looking at her as well and yanked her gaze back, heat flushing her cheeks.
When the service came to an end, she felt cold dread pool in her stomach, hardened to an uncomfortable lump. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t ask him to talk with her. Couldn’t face him with the truth. And yet, she had to.
Setting her jaw in determination and taking a deep, fortifying breath, Adeline marched up to Harley and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. His ranch hands all bid her good morning, thankfully Earl was not among them, and she willed her gaze to meet Harley’s.
“May I speak with you?”
His slate-gray eyes registered surprise, but he nodded immediately. “Of course.”
She turned before she could lose her cool and marched out of the church. She felt rather than saw him follow her, and she only stopped when she came to rest under a large oak.
“I’m sorry for interrupting but—”
“It’s all right.”
His amused smile surprised her. “Oh. Well.” This was where it got even more difficult. She already felt her cheeks heating and wasn’t sure she’d be able to continue when he spoke up first.
“Are you well?”
“Do I look well?” she asked, her gut reaction coming out before she could stop it.
“I—oh, well yes. Very well. I…sorry.” He looked almost bashful, and it made her smile for the first time that day.
“Again, I’m sorry for taking you away from your friends, but I had something that I needed to say to you.”
“All right,” he said, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
“The kiss you saw between Earl and me was decidedly not mutual.” Her face was aflame now, but she forced herself to meet Harley’s gaze. “I feel ashamed on two levels. One, that he felt he had a right to kiss me, and two, that you saw that kiss.” Her gaze dropped as shame was heaped onto her shoulders. “I can promise you I did not give my permission. One minute he was helping me from my horse and the next—well, he was kissing me without my permission. I can assure you I am not someone who goes around kissing men. I’ve been distressed considering what you must think of me, and I couldn’t go any longer without explaining it to you. And I’m sorry that—”
“It’s all right, Adeline.”
The use of her name made her head jerk up. In place of the condemnation and disgust she’d expected to see in his eyes, she saw compassion.
“But it’s not. I—”
“He shouldn’t have kissed you. If he didn’t have your permission, he had no right, and,” Harley’s jaw twitched, “it was wrong of him. Very wrong.”
Her relief was palpable.
“I’m glad you told me what happened. I was going to have to have some words with Earl if you and he were together.”
“Why?” she asked but stopped herself.
“He’s been seen with several other women since that day in the barn. Plus,” now Harley looked uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’ve been considering letting him go. He’s not a good worker, and he’s been slacking on his duties. But I was afraid you’d think it was because of what I’d seen and…”
She wanted to ask what he meant, but then it hit her. He was afraid she’d think he’d done it out of jealousy. Would he have?
“Anyway, I’m glad you told me. And I promise I don’t view you any differently.” His voice sounded strained at the end, and she caught something behind his gaze, but his words rested on her heart in a comforting way. While she wished he saw her differently in a romantic way, at least she could be comforted by the fact that he didn’t see her in a bad light.
“I—thank you, Harley.” She looked down, but his light touch on her arm brought her gaze up in surprise.
“Thank you for telling me.”
“Of course. I just couldn’t let you think—”
“Harley?” The shout cut her off, and they turned to see a few of his ranch hands. “You ready?”
He turned back to her. “Sorry. I promised them if they finished a specific job, I’d buy them lunch today.” He shook his head. “I’m going to regret that. They eat like starved lions.”
She laughed and caught him looking at her with a soft smile on his lips. There was something different in the way he treated her. Something almost gentle. It caught her off guard, but then the men were making their way toward the two and Harley stepped back
“Gotta go. And…thanks.”
She nodded, and Harley was enveloped by the men. He cast her one last look and another odd smile before joining in with the joking men. She found an odd ache had taken up residence in her heart, but it was joined by one simple fact. She’d told him the truth, and she could do no more. As Penny had said, it was now his opportunity, and she would have to wait and see what he did with it. Well, wait and do a bit of writing.
Harley was distracted. He sat there at the table with his guys—Earl excluded—and tried to find ways to interject into the conversation, but it became harder and harder the more he went over the conversation with Adeline in his mind.
She hadn’t wanted Earl to kiss her. She’d made it a point to tell Harley that. But why?
His gut felt like there was more to the conversation. Things he should instinctively know by her making an effort to bring him aside despite the fact he’d been surrounded by men in the church. And then there had been her flushed cheeks. They had to mean something too, didn’t they?
“Will ya look at that,” a voice said next to him. “Completely twitter pated.”
Harley jerked out of his thoughts. “What?”
The men laughed as one.
“Come on, guys,” he said, dipping his head to cover the color rising from his collar. “Eat your pie.”
“Oh, we are,” Johnny said, slapping him on the back, “but we know you’re thinking about something even sweeter.”
The men guffawed again, and Harley found he was trying his best to keep a smile at bay. Each of these men had given him a hard time about not pursuing women in the past, and now they were just aching to have their go at him. He wouldn’t let them…yet.
The reality of that thought shocked him. The mere fact that he was considering them teasing him at all—or better yet, having a reason to tease him—was unthinkable. And yet…
Adeline’s vibrant blue eyes filled his mind’s eye, and he felt the tug of his heart toward her. He would never have thought a softening of this kind could happen to him, and yet here it was.
“So when are you going to ask her on a walk or a drive, boss?” Otis asked. He’d finally recovered from his illness and was back to work, thankfully, since Earl had proven less than reliable of late.
“I—” he stopped, looking around the table at expectant eyes. “Who says I’m going to do anything of the sort.”
The men burst into laughter, shaking their heads. “If that puppy dog look don’t mean
nothing,” Beau said, his deep voice reverberating around the table, “then it’s gonna take more than three blockheads to tell you what’s what.”
The men nodded as one, and Harley felt both outnumbered and amused at the same time.
“You all get on,” he said, studying his last bite of pie.
“You think we’re wrong?” Johnny asked. His look was a mix of humor and honesty.
“Well, I don’t rightly know.” And that was the truth.
Harley wouldn’t consider himself a complicated man, but feelings—especially when they involved a woman—weren’t easily understood. He knew he enjoyed Adeline’s company. He knew he couldn’t get enough of her smile or her laugh or the way her cheeks turned pink under his gaze. He also knew he felt a longing inside of himself to draw her near. To wrap his arms around her and feel her close.
But did that mean he should toss out his whole ideology? He’d known it would be best for the ranch if he could keep his focus on it. Improve and work as hard as possible to accomplish his father’s dream.
And yet… hadn’t his father married? Weren’t most of the ranchers he knew married? What had he been thinking?
It clicked into place right then and there. He was sweet on Adeline Miller. No—he might actually be in love with her!
He sat back with a huff, every man’s eye on him. They looked curious, but he didn’t think it was right to share this information with them before he shared it with Adeline. Then again, could he share it with her? How did a man go about telling a woman his feelings?
A cold sweat broke out over his brow, and he stood up. “I—I need to go.”
They all looked at him, shock and worry etched onto their faces.
“It’s nothing bad,” he explained, trying to help them feel at ease. “I’ll cover the tab, and you guys have fun. I need to…take a ride.”
He wasn’t sure the men understood, but the look on Otis’s face made him think they’d figure it out soon. He tossed a hand over his shoulder in goodbye and sped outdoors.
His first thought was to rush to the Redburn house and demand to see Adeline. Then the tug of his stomach to empty its contents made him rethink that. He wasn’t even sure he’d know what to say. He was also a man who spent a considerable amount of time thinking things through. It was also why he enjoyed working in the kitchen as he did. The time alone to think while doing mostly mindless tasks gave him plenty of space to process the days thoughts.
These feelings—they felt like things that needed even more space than cooking a meal could bring. They needed solitude and a whole lot of courage to wade through.
Climbing onto his horse, Harley turned the mount toward his ranch. He’d grab a few supplies and head out of town a day, maybe two. The men might worry, but he’d leave a note saying to keep business going as usual. He’d be back when it was time, and hopefully, by then, he’d know what his next move was.
The one thing that wouldn’t change were his feelings for Adeline. He just needed to figure out what to do about them.
Chapter 13
Adeline wasn’t sure what to think. She’d confessed all to Harley on Sunday, and yet it was already Thursday, and she hadn’t heard from him. Part of her knew that was foolish. Just because she’d told him Earl had initiated the kiss didn’t take away the fact that he’d seen them. And she also realized that she hadn’t exactly shared her feelings for Harley in her moment of honesty.
Even now, walking toward the post office, Adeline felt foolish. Naturally, Penny had come to the house to talk with her on Monday and, while they gardened, she’d explained everything she said to Harley. Penny had been pleased to hear that things had gone well, but then she’d asked if Adeline had explained her feelings for him during the time they spoke.
She hadn’t.
Even now, Adeline felt beyond foolish at that reality. How could she have missed one of the biggest points of the whole conversation? Perhaps it had been due to the fact that Harley himself was distracting, not to mention they had been cut short. Still, she wished she’d been able to go back and try again.
Since do-overs weren’t part of life, she’d moved ahead with her plan, one that was shaping up to be her best idea yet.
“Morning, Miss Miller,” a familiar voice said. She stopped short, hesitating in turning around. When she did, she saw Earl leaning against a post.
“Good morning, Mr. Peters.”
He flicked away the hay he’d been chewing on and stood upright. “How are you this fine day?”
He wasn’t exactly flirting with her, but she was cautious, nonetheless. She didn’t need Harley walking up seeing them looking like friends; it would undermine everything she’d told him.
“I’m well, thank you. But I must be off.”
“Got some important letters there? I know you said you like to write. What are you writing now?”
There was something genuine about his smile. It lacked the edge of flirtation he’d added before and, despite the fact she still didn’t like the man, she felt less threatened by him.
“It’s actually a special project involving the Swinney Ranch.” She beamed, happy to show this man that she cared more for a ranch than she did his administrations.
“You don’t say. About what? Call me intrigued!”
He was so excited she told him everything, from the inception of her idea to help the Swinney Ranch by lining up buyers further than the small surrounding towns and using her writing prowess to get others on board. With her father as a railroad magnet, it had been easy to find the right contacts and to agree to mutually beneficial deals.
She was just sending off the last letters today that would seal the deal for the ranch and then she was going to tell Harley. It was her next step to see him and, while she hoped they could talk of more than ranching and shipping, it would be a start.
“That is plumb amazing,” Earl said. He looked genuinely interested, asking questions and praising her for her smarts in putting it all together. She almost took offense, but he looked honest as he spoke, and she decided to allow the past to stay there.
“Thank you, Earl. That means a lot.”
“So that’s it then, huh? Those letters seal the deal?”
“They do.” She glanced down at her pocket watch and then back up. “But I’m sorry, I’m running late. I need to get these to the post and then meet Penny for tea.”
“Then allow me,” he said, extending a hand out. “I’ll drop off the letters for you. It would be my pleasure.”
“Really?” This new, helpful and non-flirty side of Earl was much preferred to the young man she’d kissed.
“Yes. No trouble.”
Adeline felt her anxiousness ease. “That would be much obliged. Thank you, Earl.”
He accepted the letters. “Now get going. Wouldn’t want you to keep your friend waiting.”
“Will do. Thank you.” She offered him a kind, friendly-type of smile and turned to go.
For once, as she crossed the dusty street, she felt a type of ease slip over her. Her idea for helping Harley was going well, better than she could have expected, and she was going to see her friend. Soon as the post came back, she’d have something to tell Harley and a viable reason to see him.
As she stepped into the local tearoom, she flashed a brilliant smile at Penny. This would be a joyous time, and she would soak up her friend’s wisdom about future conversations with Harley. For a reason she couldn’t put her finger on, Adeline had a sense of peace that everything would work out just how it was supposed to.
Harley came back a new man. Or, perhaps it was more a confident man who knew what he wanted. As he rode into the yard area between the barn and the house, his men whooped and hollered at him, his own confident grin unabashed.
“You are looking good there, boss,” Johnny said with a laugh.
“You’d think I never smile or something,” he muttered to himself as Otis and Beau elbowed one another with a laugh. “Where is Earl?”
The laught
er quickly died down. “Found his bunk cleared out the day before. You were gone, so I just let it go. Not sure where he went but…”
“Good riddance,” Beau said under his breath.
“No great loss there,” Harley admitted, “I was going to let him go anyway.”
Thankfully, the men didn’t know enough about the situation to tie letting Earl go to Adeline, but Harley’s mind made the connection anyway. Thankfully, he could honestly say that it had nothing to do with her, and now that the man was gone, he didn’t have to think about it anymore.
“I’m going to the house to freshen up,” he nodded to the men. “Have an errand in town later. You got any questions about what you’re supposed to be up to?”
“Not a one, boss,” Johnny said. His grin was much wider than usual, but Harley chose to ignore it. Instead, he turned and made his way to the house, his smile wide.
It didn’t take him long to clean up, though he took special care trimming his hair and shaving off the few days’ growth that shadowed his jaw. He put on his best, cleanest shirt and pair of pants, and tried his hardest to clean some of the dust from his Stetson. It felt like a feeble attempt, most of the dirt stayed right where it had been, but he felt better for having tried.
Finally, glancing one last time in the one mirror that had been his mother’s, he set toward the door. The nerves in the pit of his stomach coiled like anxious snakes but he tried his best to ignore them—and the catcalls from his men—as he rode off toward the Redburn house.
He’d never done anything like this. No woman had ever captured and held his attention as Adeline had. To think, he could have saved them all of this if he’d simply allowed Chance to set up a picnic or afternoon buggy ride. But no, as always, Harley had been stubborn and thought his way was best.
It was something he’d thought a lot about when he’d been away for the last few days. He’d promised his parents that he’d do the best he could. As they’d lain in their in their bed, both taken ill by the same sickness, he’d felt powerless to do anything but make promises they’d never live to see. But those promises hadn’t been empty ones for him.