Falling For Fin (Falling Book 5)

by Tracy Lorraine

  “You’re not going alone, Emma. Like you said, I’m sure it’ll all be okay, but you should have someone-”

  “No, Emma,” I interrupt. “Seriously, I’ll be fine.”

  Eventually, when I think I’ve won, I hang up and head to my room for an early night.

  I haven’t seen much of Ruben since his visit a few nights ago. He refused point-blank to go and apologise to Fin, and I told him I wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t, so we’re still not really on speaking terms. I may not like Fin very much at the moment, but he still didn’t deserve what he got. Ruben needs to speak to him.

  * * *

  I get up as late as possible for my appointment the next morning and, after throwing up the few rich tea biscuits I manage to eat, I pull on a pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt. I may only be a few weeks pregnant, but I’ve bloated nicely, and my jeans are already too tight.

  I get to the hospital just in time for my appointment, but they are already behind schedule. How is that possible this early in the morning?

  My mind starts to wander the longer I sit there. After all, you can only read the same posters on the walls for so long before you start to lose the will to live. Especially when most of those posters are about what could be wrong with your baby. Brilliant, they don’t make you worry at all.

  * * *

  10 weeks ago…

  It’s the first time I’ve looked forward to my birthday for a few years. But now I’ve got someone other than my family to spend it with, I can’t wait. I’ve planned a day in the sun around my parents’ pool with Emma, then we’re going out with Ru and Fin tonight, and I am determined to break Fin. He’s trying to play it cool, like he’s totally unaffected by me. But I can see through him. The look on his face when he found out that I’d been sleeping with Elliot was a major giveaway. He looked like someone had just shot his puppy after telling him Santa and the Easter bunny aren’t real. If he didn’t look so devastated, I might have laughed. Ruben acted pretty much how I expected him to, which is why I never wanted him to know. I wasn’t expecting Elliot to turn up unannounced; I didn’t think he was that stupid. Clearly, I was wrong!

  I’ve got a new bikini and outfit for tonight that I’m hoping Fin will love. Both show off plenty of skin, and what I think are my best assets.

  He might have had a little party in our living room last weekend, but I can tell he wants me as much, if not more, than he did before. I just need to convince him that it’s a good idea.

  Emma and I have spent all afternoon sunning ourselves, and I’m getting more and more nervous about the boys’ arrival. One, because I’m worried about Emma’s reaction. It took quite a bit of convincing to get her in that damn swimming costume, knowing Ruben wasn’t going to be here. I’m not sure what she’ll do when he appears. I just hope she doesn’t run. I don’t know what her problem is; she’s stunning, and it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Ruben is obsessed with her already.

  I’ve never seen my brother fall for someone. To be honest, I never thought it would happen, but I’m loving it. I love the soppy look he gets on his face when he looks at her, and the way his eyes light up when she talks to him. He deserves a good woman to love him. He swore himself off relationships years ago, and I think that’s such a shame. Our parents’ issues when we were teenagers really affected him, so much so he decided he never wanted to love a woman. I, on the other hand, took it a different way. I saw that, no matter what, you should fight for the one you love. I guess that’s why I’ve never given up on the idea of Fin and I being together. We’re only human. We all make mistakes, but I do believe we should be big enough to forgive, once. I’m not saying we should all ignore what’s going on around us, but we should forgive one mistake and fight. I can see how happy my parents are again now, and I would have hated not to see them fight for what they had so they could be happy again together.

  I’d get bored of waiting for the boys to show their faces, and fall asleep. But not before removing my bikini top. I don’t want tan lines visible for my outfit tonight, but also, I want to show Fin what he’s missing. And boy, does it work when they do appear.

  Okay, so I wasn’t expecting to be woken up by being covered with ice cold water, but I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve grown up with these two and their prankster ways. I instantly jump up from my sun lounger in surprise, while Fin continues to shoot cold water at me from his super soaker. My plan worked, though, because he is shooting and staring right at my boobs!

  Unfortunately, Ruben has a bitch fit about me being topless, so I have to cover up. It’s a real shame, because I loved how he was looking at me. Thankfully, me putting my top back on doesn’t put him off, because from the second he grabs and pulls me into the pool with him, he can’t keep his hands off me. My body is buzzing, and every time he touches me, I get a little closer to orgasm. I’ve been imagining his touch for so long that now I’m getting it, I’m desperate for more.

  Thankfully, the sight of Emma in that costume has Ruben totally distracted, so I don’t have to worry too much about him.

  The second Fin suggests moving into the Jacuzzi, I know I’m in trouble. His eyes have darkened, and I can see a wicked glint in them as they lick over my exposed skin like he wants to devour me.

  I’ve never seen the clumsy, girly side to Emma that seems to be showing today, but I like it. It shows how effected she is by my big brother. I knew she really liked him but was too scared to admit it. I only have so long to ponder that thought, though, because I’m pulled against Fin’s smoking body and his hands continue their earlier wandering.

  I know that I should push him away, but I’m powerless to stop him, especially when his fingers slip inside my bikini bottoms. I breathe a sigh of relief that I was organised enough to get a well overdue wax earlier in the week. I glance over at Emma and Ruben in panic, but my focus is soon lost when Fin’s fingers flick over my clit. My eyes roll as my head drops back against the side of the Jacuzzi, my muscles suddenly like jelly and unable to function.

  “Fuck, baby, I’ve missed this pussy.”

  The next few minutes are a blur of sensation, pure pleasure and dirty words. The world disappears and all I can do is feel. I forget where I am, who I’m with, and what could happen at any second if Ruben should turn and look our way. I’m embarrassed to say that my surging lust puts pay to any rational thinking.

  His touch ignites me, takes me to a high that I’ve only been able to achieve with him. Every time I’m with him, I know I need to treasure it, because there is a very good chance it could never happen again.

  The second the wave of pleasure runs through my body, I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed it’s over. It never lasts long enough. I need more.

  I can’t believe my eyes when I pull them open to see Emma with her tongue down Ruben’s throat. I supress the need to cheer and whoop. Instead, I look away to give them some privacy. I glance over to a proud looking Fin and I feel my cheeks heat. I can’t believe I just let him do that with Ruben sitting mere feet away. Gone is the jealous look in his eye, overtaken by accomplishment and male ego!

  I’m even more determined to make tonight the night when I head inside with Emma to get ready. I’m gonna knock him on his arse and take what I want tonight. He can try and fight it all he wants, but there will only be one winner.

  I should have expected the third degree from Emma about things between me and Fin. I know I should just tell her, but there is something about us being a secret that I find so exciting. He’s forbidden fruit, yet I’ve taken a secret bite.

  Emma looks stunning. I knew she would. What I am surprised by, though, is how shocked she looks. As she looks at herself in my mirror, I see a sadness wash through her. It’s not the first time I’ve seen that look, and I hate that she won’t confide in me. If I’m honest, that’s another reason I haven’t told her about Fin. I know it’s childish, but if she’s holding something back, then why shouldn’t I?

  I give my hair another ruffle and take on
e final look in the mirror. I have on the black cat suit I bought yesterday. It fits me like a second skin. Fin won’t be getting it off in a rush tonight – well, not the bottom part, anyway. The top, however, is only two loose bits of fabric that come from the low waist, up and over my boobs, then tie behind my back. I’ve got a little tit tape to make sure my boobs stay hidden, but other than that, my top half is completely exposed. He is going to love it! I’ve teamed the cat suit with a bit of a rock chick look with messy hair, dark smoky eyes and fire engine red lips.

  I walk out of my room with my head held high. I hope the confidence I give off matches the level that I feel in this moment. Fin and Ruben are already in the kitchen, waiting for us. Ruben clocks me first, and I have to swallow down a laugh at the look on his face when he takes in my outfit. My poor protective big brother. I do feel for him at times! Fin looks up a second later, and I have to force myself to keep moving. The urge to stand still and let him get his fill when I see his eyes start to wander is strong, but I manage to continue forward, swaying my hips from side to side as I do, and go to put the empty Prosecco bottle on the kitchen worktop.

  The Thai restaurant I booked for a meal tonight was amazing. I’d heard great things from customers about it, but the food was out of this world. Once we were stuffed, we headed down the street to a new cocktail bar.

  “Has he taken his eyes off her yet?” Fin whispers to me as we follow Ruben and Emma.

  “Ha, no, I don’t think so. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day, but it’s so lovely to see. Maybe I will be an auntie one day, after all.”

  “I’m so glad he’s distracted. It means he won’t see this,” he growls in my ear, before putting his lips to the sensitive skin on my neck and sucking. My steps falter, but he puts his arm around my waist to keep me up. “I can’t get enough of you, baby.”

  I groan my agreement to that statement.

  Making Fin jealous shouldn’t bring me such pleasure, but it does. As soon as we stepped foot in the club, a couple of my old school friends spotted me and pulled me on to the dance floor. Jay pulls me over to him and we dance together while Mark corners Emma, much to Ruben’s annoyance. I watch in amusement as Ruben begins to sulk more and more about being ignored, before he disappears to prop up the bar instead.

  Fin, although he had been watching me with a wicked glint in his eye all night, has now got two girls I recognise gyrating against him. I’m trying not to let it affect me, but I can feel the jealousy bubbling inside me. Much like I did last weekend, when I found him with two naked girls in our living room. I stayed hidden away while all the activities were going on, for fear of seeing Ruben doing something I should never see. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the first time. But once it all went quiet and I ventured out to make use of the bathroom, I couldn’t help but peek into the room. What I found made my stomach drop. Fin was laid out stark naked on the sofa with a girl on each side of him. How they all managed to fit on there was beyond me.

  “How fucking dare you,” I muttered under my breath, before storming in and pulling each girl off. Fin must have been trashed, because he didn’t even stir as I kicked out the pair of hussies.

  I was jealous, seriously jealous. I’d missed, and hated, him for six months. He reappears and tells me that he’s missed me too, and looks at me like he does; then, he goes and pulls a stunt like that. What baffles me the most is that if he had woken up and told me he wanted me, I would have fallen into his arms. Pathetic, I know.

  I watch his eyes flick over to me. I see them heat the longer our eye contact holds, and I’m relieved he hasn’t forgotten me. Excitement fills my insides, and I twitch the corner of my mouth at him before dropping my eyes to his lips when he slowly runs his tongue along them. Fuck, I want his lips on me.

  It’s not long later that Emma whisper-shouts in my ear that she’s going to the toilet. I’m way too interested in keeping Fin’s attention on me to go with her. Ever since our eye contact, he keeps looking over. I’ve made every effort I can to make it look like I want Jay without making Jay think that I actually do. I think I’m just about pulling it off.

  Fin

  I’m just about ready to rip that guy’s fucking head off. He’s touching her way too much for my liking. Watching them together is making me feel murderous. If it wasn’t obvious before, it now really is, that six months away from this girl did nothing to help my obsession. I need her more than ever. Especially after earlier.

  I shouldn’t have touched her. I knew that, but her body. Fuck, it just calls to me.

  When we turned up and she was topless, I thought all my Christmases had come at once. I had to really restrain myself from walking straight up to her, taking them in my hands and kissing the life out of her. I was achingly aware that Ruben was probably watching my every move from behind me, though. That thought sobered my raging emotions and hormones enough to control myself.

  When we got into that bubbly Jacuzzi, it all became too much. My hands had been happily wandering around her kick arse body while we were messing about in the pool, but that was nowhere near enough for me. I needed more, and it was time to take it. Thankfully, Emma caused enough of a scene to distract Ruben away from what we were doing. It meant I could give her, or her pussy, to be more precise, my full attention.

  My dick was rock hard from the second I thought about what I wanted to do. It’s craving her like never before. As I ran my hand down her stomach and into her bikini bottoms, my dick started weeping, craving it was there instead of my fingers.

  My cock’s been like steel ever since. Wanking off in Ruben’s shower did nothing. One thought of her had it popping back up instantly. Then I got a look at what she was wearing for the night, and I knew I was in for a world of pain.

  I can’t help but continue watching her dance with the pansy she’s wrapped around. I want to snap his scrawny little neck for touching her. To be fair, though, he isn’t touching her as much as I would be if she were dancing like that against my body. I watch as he leans down to whisper something in her ear. She glances over at me before saying something back. To my horror, I then watch him put his arm around her shoulder and they begin walking off.

  I look around the club, just in case. Ruben disappeared ages ago after Emma. I have since seen her run out of the club like she was being chased by an axe murderer, followed not long later by a fraught looking Ruben. I can only imagine what went down.

  I’m torn between wanting to laugh at his pussy whipped state, and being pissed off. I know it’s childish, but I don’t want to lose him to a woman. I don’t want our easy lifestyle changing. Everything else in my life has always been hard work, so to be able to chill out with my best mate, go on the pull together knowing we were only looking for a quick shag and nothing more, was just what I needed.

  If Ruben settles down with this Emma, where will it leave me? Am I going to be jealous and want the same? Only problem with that is that I know the person I’m going to want it with is the one person I never should have touched all those years ago, let alone still want now.

  I don’t want that, though. I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want to end up heartbroken and like my dad. I don’t want her to end up leaving me like my mum did. Or worse, for me to get the same, and to leave her alone in the world. Then there’s the obvious progression to kids. Why the fuck would I want to go through that with the gene pool I’ve got? That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. I couldn’t do that to someone.

  I’m pulled from my depressing thoughts when I spot Connie and the weed heading into a crowd of people. I almost let her go, knowing it’s the right thing to do, but she makes a huge mistake.

  She looks back at me.

  I move without thought.

  She freezes the second my arm goes around her waist.

  “Don’t even think about leaving with him,” I growl in her ear, and can’t help feeling pleased when I feel her whole body shudder in my arms. The heat of her naked back against my front warms my whole body, a
nd I rub my hard on into her arse so she knows exactly what she does to me, even from afar.

  “Jay…I’m…uh…sorry, I can’t go with you.”

  I watch as he looks from Connie, then up to me. He can obviously read how serious I am, because he doesn’t question her.

  “No problem, it was good to see you again.” As soon as he’s finished speaking, he’s gone.

  “Let’s go,” I say, before giving her a shove forward to begin walking.

  The wait for a taxi takes forever, and with every second that passes, I can feel myself sobering up, and the realisation of what I’m doing starts weighing down on me.

  I went away to try to forget about this girl. She’s Ruben’s little sister. He’ll kill me if he ever finds out.

  She needs me to be a better person than I am. She wants me to offer her something. A future. I can’t.

  I shouldn’t be doing this.

  I’m totally lost inside my own head and I’m surprised when I look up to see we are pulling up to Ruben and Connie’s place. Before I blink, Connie has paid the driver and is grabbing my hand to pull me out behind her. I follow, but only because I’m not really thinking.

  She turns as soon as we’re in, and stands chest to chest with me. The feeling of her tits lightly pressed against me makes it hard to do what I need to do.

  I stand stock still and stare at her. I can see the question in her eyes as to what I’m doing, but she obviously ignores it, because she reaches up and runs her cheek along mine so she can whisper in my ear. “I want you.”

  My cock jerks in my jeans, showing just how on board he is. I’m going to do the right thing for once, though. Exactly what I should have done ten years ago.

  “No, Con.”

  My words must be like a slap to the face, because she instantly jumps back away from me and she looks at me with utter disbelief written all over her face.