by Wendy Vella
Primrose let Lady Jane chatter as the carriage rolled through London. She smiled and answered when required to do so, but her mind was on Heather and what she was about to do, and of course him. Benjamin bloody Hetherington.
“Lord Formby is a well-respected, wealthy man with many estates, Primrose. I want you to be especially nice to him today.”
“Lord Formby? I thought we were visiting Lady Gray?”
“Indeed we are, but she is his sister you see, so there is every chance he may be there also.”
Searching her memory, Primrose remembered hearing that he had six children, and his third wife had died three years ago.
“Lady Gray and I entered society together but do not see each other often.”
“How nice that you are still friends then.”
“Try and smile today, Primrose. Lately I have not seen you do so often. In fact, since your return you have been quite morose. Are your nerves still suffering after your adventure?”
“I’m sorry, have I been a dull companion?”
“Not dull, no, but I am worried about you. Especially after the disaster at the soirée. You have not been back into society since.”
“I think it is time I went home, Lady Jane.”
Primrose had thought about this a great deal and believed it was for the best. At home she could live a simple life, and when her family was there, she’d at least have some company.
“Your family left for India five days ago, Primrose. You cannot go home.”
“The Putts are there, as they always have been. We rub along well together. I shall return to them.”
“No, they are not. They were dismissed, and the house has been let for the year.”
“I beg your pardon? I knew nothing of this.”
“Your father wrote to me a week after you came to London to inform me of these plans.” Lady Jane spoke calmly. Primrose was anything but. How could her family have left without speaking to her? How could they have dismissed the Putts?
“B-but where am I to go?”
“You will live with me until you are married. I enjoy your company, Primrose.”
“B-but I am not going to marry! Who will wed me now, with my reputation in ruins?”
Primrose didn’t like Lady Jane’s smile; in fact, it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand.
“We will speak of it no more for now, dear. All I ask is that you be polite to Lord Formby if he should be there today.”
“I am always polite,” Primrose said as something began to take root inside her head. Surely not? She had to be wrong. Lady Jane would not want her wed to a man old enough to be her grandfather. She remembered then the conversation they’d had at Rossetter the day she’d returned after the abduction. I know of a man who is desperate for a nubile young wife.
Primrose studied the woman across from her, but Lady Jane’s gaze flitted away out the carriage window.
“Is there something you are not telling me, my lady?”
“Of course not, just that Lord Formby is a good man, and it would not do to annoy him.”
Unease traversed her spine.
“Are you—”
“Excellent, we are here!” Lady Jane cut off her words. Minutes later they had stepped from the carriage.
“Lady Jane, I really must insist you tell me—”
“Come along, Primrose, Lord Formby and his sister are waiting.”
The trickle of unease turned into a torrent.
The entrance way was austere and dark inside. It was a huge mansion that no doubt had many rooms that servants were forced to clean and heat from sunrise to sunset during the colder months.
They followed the butler to where she now knew Lord Formby and his sister awaited them. In fact, Primrose doubted this visit was ever simply about a reunion between old friends. She felt betrayed by yet another person.
The room they entered had burgundy walls and rugs, matching brocade curtains, and dark furniture. It was gloomy and depressing, and no way did Primrose ever want to be mistress of such a place.
“Good day to you both! It is wonderful to see you again, Lady Jane,” Lord Formby boomed as they were announced.
Tall, elegant, with gray hair and a face that wore the lines of his years, Primrose thought Lord Formby looked pleasant enough. However, she did not want to look at him across the breakfast table for years to come, if that was Lady Jane’s intention—which she now believed it was.
“Virginia, how wonderful to meet with you again.” Lord Formby’s sister came to take Lady Jane’s hands. Younger than her brother the woman was elegantly dressed.
“Cynthia, it is wonderful to see you also. And this is Miss Ainsley.” Lady Jane introduced Primrose.
She dropped into a curtsey, then looked about for a chair that was far enough away from Lord Formby to make her comfortable.
“Come and sit, my dear.” Lord Formby held out a hand toward a sofa.
“Oh no—”
“Sit, Primrose.” Lady Jane took her arm and propelled her forward. To her horror, Lord Formby took the seat to her right.
“I understand you like children, Miss Ainsley. I have six.”
“Yes, I do. How lovely for you.”
“I want more,” he said, which had Primrose stiffening. “Ring for tea, Cynthia,” Lord Formby instructed his sister.
What followed was a gentle, if persistent inquisition, and by the end of it, Primrose was left in no doubt that her suspicions were correct. She was being paraded as a prospective wife to this man. The thought made her angry. Like Heather, she was about to be forced into something she had no wish to be part of. Unlike Heather, she had no money, and nowhere to run.
Primrose embraced the anger, as it took the hollowness inside her away. It gave her something to focus on other than her pathetic love for Benjamin Hetherington.
She ate, smiled, and talked, and felt her anger grow with every second she sat next to Lord Formby. The injustice of her situation stoked the rage growing inside her.
Her family had turned their backs on her and also taken away her home. She had no doubt they had hopes she would marry well and fund their next adventure. Society was shunning her through no fault of her own. Then there was Benjamin. If she didn’t love him so much, she’d hate him. Which made no sense to anyone but her. Fiend.
When it was time to leave, Primrose made her farewells and let Lord Formby hold her hands longer than propriety dictated. She even smiled, but inside she raged.
“Well, that went well.” Lady Jane sat back on the carriage seat looking satisfied as they rolled away from Lord Formby’s house.
“You had no right to do that,” Primrose said calmly. No good would come from allowing the anger that she felt to show.
“To do what, Primrose?”
“You took me there with the express purpose that Lord Formby look me over as his future wife… or should I say breeding mare!” Some of her anger slipped out.
“Formby is a good man, and as no other has stepped forward, he will make you a wonderful husband.” Lady Jane dropped the pretense. “You should be grateful. Good Lord, Primrose, you have to marry, and he is a wonderful prospect. Many young women would be pleased to wed such a man.”
“He is old enough to be my grandfather!”
She flicked her wrist, dismissing Primrose’s words, and the anger and frustration inside her climbed.
“Girls wed such men every day. He will care for you and provide you with a home of your own, and likely children. You will want for nothing in your future.”
“And I am to have no say in the matter?”
“Your father has made me your guardian in his absence, and in this matter I am to make the decisions.”
“I do not need a guardian.”
She understood somewhere deep inside herself that Lady Jane was doing what she believed was best for Primrose.
“I will guide you through this and help you make the correct decision.”
“I understand that you have d
one so much for me,” Primrose said as calmly as the raging torrent of emotion inside her would allow. “But I will not marry unless it is my wish to do so. I will not marry a man for his money and the life he can give me. Will not… cannot,” Primrose clarified.
“Don’t be foolish, girl,” Lady Jane snapped, no longer calm. Her voice had risen, just as it did when she was scolding a servant. “It is the only option for you, and one I insist you take!”
“No.”
Lady Jane slapped the seat beside her with considerable force, in a gesture so unlike the woman, Primrose could only stare. She was not given to such displays of emotion. Lady Jane, as her mother had once said, was a woman who understood her standing in society and never deviated from what was expected from her.
“You will do this because I wish it. I have promised your family I will see you wed, therefore I insist you accept Lord Formby’s proposal.”
The mention of her family made Primrose’s insides clench tight.
Why am I so hard to love?
“My family may not care about me, Lady Jane, but I do. I’m sorry if this upsets you, and I am of course grateful to you for all you have done for me, but I will not marry Lord Formby.”
“Don’t be a foolish girl, of course you will!”
“There is nothing else to be said on the matter then,” Primrose said as calmly as she could. “I will find alternative arrangements.”
“Where? There is nowhere else for you to go! You have no prospects and no money.”
She didn’t speak again as Lady Jane proceeded to talk at her for the rest of the journey, an extremely long ten minutes.
“Good day, Lady Jane,” Primrose said after they’d left the carriage.
“Where are you going?”
“I need some air. I shall see you later.”
“Primrose, you cannot walk about London unescorted!” Lady Jane tried to grab her arm, but Primrose evaded her. “As your mother’s friend, I insist you stay!”
“I shall return to the house later. Good day.” She walked swiftly along the street without looking back.
She had no destination in mind; she just needed to walk. The anger inside her did not ease as she’d hoped as she put some distance between herself and Lady Jane.
Sadness, rage, it was all there. She had no idea what to do or where to go now. But one thing she was certain of was that she would not marry Lord Formby.
Surely she could find her own way in the world? She was no fool, there must be work for her somewhere. But where would she live? Thoughts ran through her head as she struggled to come up with a plan.
Primrose had no idea how long she walked for or who or what she passed along the way. Only that she needed to keep walking before the grief caught up with her.
Keep it inside, she said over and over to herself. Because if it escaped, surely it would consume her, and how would she cope?
She hadn’t realized she’d been walking to Heather’s house until she stood outside the front door. She knocked and was admitted to a small parlor; her friend joined her minutes later.
“Primrose, what has happened?”
She couldn’t answer as the tears finally began to fall.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ben travelled to London by coach, as the journey was a long one and he needed to regain his strength. Reaching his small townhouse, he greeted his staff, then fell into a chair and slept.
Upon waking he felt a great deal better. After a meal, he called for his horse and headed to where Lady Jane lived, anticipation building inside him.
He was to see her. Primrose, the woman who he now acknowledged meant a great deal to him. The woman he loved.
The words did not scare him as they once would have. Now they sounded right inside this head.
He wasn’t sure what had changed inside him but something had. Perhaps because he’d nearly lost Alex? Or was it because he realized he didn’t want to live without Primrose? Whatever the reason, he had to see her and make her forgive him for the way he’d behaved.
His family had given him their blessings, telling Ben they liked Primrose very much and that they would return to London soon to hopefully meet his betrothed.
He smiled at the future he foresaw for them. Lots of laughter and debates. She would listen as he spoke about steam engines, and he would listen to her discussions about plants and spend time in the gardens with her.
His heart felt fuller since acknowledging how he felt about her. He missed her desperately, and the dark places inside him were now light.
His love.
For the first time in forever, he felt a ridiculous sense of hope, and yes, freedom. He was no longer shackled by the fear that a woman would hurt him if he let her too close.
Primrose would never willingly hurt him. Her nature was too sweet for that.
Rapping on the front door, he acknowledged the stately butler.
“I wish to speak with Miss Ainsley, please.”
The butler looked agitated by his request.
“Is there a problem?”
“Who is it, Perks?”
“Mr. Benjamin Hetherington, my lady.”
“Send him away!”
Ben wasn’t having that; he stuck his boot in the door and pushed it open, gaining entry.
“How dare you force your way inside my house, Mr. Hetherington!”
Lady Jane was standing in the entrance hall looking agitated like her butler. Something was not right. Unease crept over him.
“Where is Primrose?” Ben said with a calm he was far from feeling.
“Not here,” Lady Jane said.
“I understand that, but where is she?”
The shoulders that had been rigid slumped.
“In truth, I do not know. Dear lord, I wish I did.”
“Care to explain what the hell you are talking about?”
She didn’t flinch at his language, instead walking toward a door.
“If you will come this way I will tell you all the details. Perhaps you can find her, as I cannot.”
“I don’t understand what you are saying, Lady Jane.”
“She has run away, Hetherington, and I don’t know where to!”
“Good God,” Ben slumped into a chair.
He didn’t drink the tea she poured, instead sitting on the edge of his seat as she talked.
“I thought I was doing right by her. Her family do not want her and see her as a burden. You did not offer for her after she was abducted and therefore shamed in the eyes of society. So, I thought marriage to Formby would see her comfortably set up for the future. But she is not like other young ladies.”
“No, she is not. Primrose has spirit,” Ben said slowly. “She would never be happy with a man like Formby.” He wanted to feel sympathy for this woman; she had simply done what she thought was best, but in doing so she had forced Primrose to flee. “And I do want her, but I was unable to come to London until now.”
Where have you run to?
“They all turned their backs on her, as is the way when a young lady is compromised. Not that she was very popular to begin with, but it was far worse when we returned from Rossetter.”
“And yet I, the man who compromised her, am free to walk anywhere I choose without censure.” Saying the words disgusted him.
“It has always been so.” Lady Jane looked at him, and to Ben’s mind she’d aged since she’d left Rossetter. “Do you care for Primrose, Mr. Hetherington? Was I wrong to suggest otherwise?”
“You were.”
“When we received word your brother had recovered, I thought you would come to London if you cared for her. When you didn’t, like her, I believed otherwise.”
“I became sick with a fever myself. I was not fit to travel.”
“Oh dear.” She pressed a hand to her lips. “I thought you had turned your back on her.”
Ben got out of his chair and began to pace. “When I returned to Rossetter House I did treat her badly, pushing her aside in my fear o
ver my brother. But once I regained my senses I realized that Primrose is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Where is she, Lady Jane?”
“I don’t know. We went to visit Lord Formby, and during the return journey she grew agitated, saying she would not marry a man for his money and title. She then said she was going for a walk. When she finally came home, we did not speak. She went straight to her room and had her evening meal on a tray.”
Ben could see Lady Jane was genuinely upset, but all he could think about was Primrose and how desperate she must have felt when she learned that Formby was to be her future husband. She must also believe he had deserted her, just as Lady Jane did.
“Did you tell her that her family did not want her?”
“To my shame, yes, I did. I told her the family home had been let and servants dismissed, and she was to stay with me until she wed.”
Christ.
“I am happy to have her with me, she is excellent company, but I wanted to see her married and secure also. Surely you can see my motives were pure.”
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. “Continue with your story.”
“When her maid went to rouse her this morning, she was gone. Her bed had not been slept in.”
The thought of Primrose walking about at night on her own in London was not a happy one for Ben.
“Where could she have gone?”
“I have sent word to her friend, Miss Fullerton Smythe, as she visited Primrose yesterday and is really the only acquaintance she has in London. I have received no reply.”
“That is where I will start, then. Please furnish me with her address.”
Once he had it, Ben bowed to Lady Jane.
“Find her, Hetherington, and this time don’t let her go.”
“I will send word when I have done so.”
Once again on his horse, he rode through London a great deal faster than on the journey to Lady Jane’s, his mood vastly different also. He wished Alex or Finn were here; they would help him in any way they could. But his brother was still recovering, and Finn had stayed at Rossetter to watch over him.
The Fullerton Smythes lived in a large brick townhouse in the right part of town. It had an imposing façade with grand white columns and white front steps. Many windows decorated the side facing the street, and he knew the gardens at the rear would be manicured to perfection. Appearances were everything to the Fullerton Smythes.