by Lindsey Hart
All because she had him in her mouth. She liked it. She liked pleasuring him. She liked the gruff, husky sounds he made above her and the way his fingers curled into her hair and he began to guide her face, gently, back and forth.
More salt spilled onto her tongue with every long, slow thrust, and she lapped at him eagerly, craving the taste. Craving the unique, seductive, rawness of him. The intimacy that they shared and the knowledge that she hadn’t done this for anyone else before.
What she didn’t like was the strange possessive light flaring to life inside of her chest. It sparked and unfurled there, right in the center of her. She didn’t like to think about Blaze doing this with anyone else. About him ever having done it or ever doing it again with another woman. She didn’t want him to.
He was an asshole. He was insufferable. He was cold and hard and closed off. This was just sex for him, even though for her, it was a hell of a lot more. It was something transformative and unique. Something she was sure she wouldn’t experience again with anyone else. She couldn’t even think of another man, even though she wanted to. She wanted to conjure up hundreds of potential lovers, just to get back at Blaze for being who he was, but the undeniable fact remained that he would always be her first.
Blaze’s hand tangled in her hair, fisting the strands, pulling so hard that her eyes watered, and pain bloomed over her scalp. He thrust into her mouth harder, and she took all of him. She wasn’t trying to prove a point. She did it because she wanted to. Because, despite everything, she loved it.
“Jesus- Colette- I’m…”
Blaze tried to pull away after his strained words, but she wouldn’t let him. She kept a firm hold on the base of his cock and drove her mouth forward, taking him to the back of her throat again. This time, she gagged, but she refused to pull away or to stop. Her other hand curled around his granite thigh, and her fingers dug into the striated, veiny muscle and smooth, surprisingly soft skin. She shocked herself by trailing her hand up higher and gripping his ass to hold him in place.
God. He had a really, really nice ass. Like, the ass to end all asses. The kind of ass that should be put on a pedestal and worshipped. She hadn’t even got a good look at it, but she felt it, the swell and the roundness and the tight, rock hard muscle below.
Her mouth salivated as she thought about sinking her teeth into that ass later.
“Colette,” Blaze ground out again, warning her.
She didn’t listen. And she didn’t let him pull out.
She had no idea what was going to happen. She knew, obviously, biologically, but she had no idea what to expect. She half thought it would be gross, but the warm rush that flooded her throat wasn’t disgusting. It was blissful. She swallowed on instinct, but then Blaze pulled back a little and she tasted him on her tongue. He wasn’t just salty, he was bitter and deep, spicy and musky. She swallowed that too and was shocked when he pulled her up to standing.
His arms wrapped around her waist, caging her against him as his lips crashed over hers. He ate her mouth, sweeping his tongue in to taste himself on her. She could still taste herself too, all over his lips, and it was a powerful, heady combination.
Why had she ever thought this would be gross?
She’d just experienced the best orgasm of her life, given her first BJ and thoroughly enjoyed it, but she was so far from satisfied. She wanted something else. Something she didn’t quite understand. She wanted it from Blaze, though. She knew that much. She wanted him, wanted him to touch and fill and possess every single part of her.
But this was Blaze Hanson. Notorious sex god, player, man-whore, and her boss.
With an agonized sound, Colette broke the kiss. She stepped back, wrecking the strong, protective, safe circle of Blaze’s arms. They weren’t really safe, she told herself. It was just an illusion. Everything they were doing here- it meant less than nothing to him. To him, she was just another girl, one of the many that came and went. She was a game. A conquest. Because he was Blaze Hanson, he hadn’t fired her on the spot when she’d marched into his office and brazenly told him she wanted him to take her v-card. He probably thought it was hilarious and she had the right anatomy, so why the hell not?
She didn’t want to just be used and discarded. Even if she thought she didn’t have time for anything else. Didn’t want a relationship with a man like Blaze. Ever. Period. She wasn’t ready for that and even if she was, even if she didn’t make her job her life and even if she wasn’t fulfilled by her family and friends and the few hobbies she had, Blaze wasn’t her type.
“You’re- you’re my boss,” she panted stupidly, by way of explanation when Blaze frowned. He looked at her, his eyes shimmering with confusion and something very close to hurt.
Hurt. She blinked. She never expected to see a real, honest emotion in those gorgeous, cold eyes. Except they weren’t cold. The pupils were huge, nearly devouring his irises and they brimmed over with warmth. They shimmered and danced, fully alive and unfettered. For a brief second, she had access to a Blaze that no one else ever saw. That no one knew existed.
Then she stepped away, just one step back, and it was gone.
His mask slammed back up and she realized what she’d just done.
How she’d changed her life forever.
He was her boss, and this was supposed to be about getting him to leave her alone. It wasn’t supposed to end in them both naked, in a hotel bathroom.
Her eyes flicked to Blaze’s wounded arms. They weren’t bleeding, but they were terribly raw and horribly painful looking. God, she was thoughtless. He needed a freaking hospital, not to be there with her at the moment.
“Yeah. Duly noted.” He cleared his throat, covering up whatever he might have felt with a rough cough.
She’d almost forgotten that she’d said anything at all.
This was the thing that no one told you about. The stupid walk of shame, the gathering of discarded, balled up clothes, the terrible aftermath of thoughtless, uncontrolled passion.
This. This was why she was still a virgin. All of it, the feeling, the joining, the need, the craziness, the out of control stupidity that made people do things they’d regret. The hurt and the pain and the regret. She’d be lucky if she got to keep her job. She might have to quit anyway. How could she ever look Blaze in the face again after this?
“Colette…”
She didn’t give Blaze time to try and talk her down. She was having an internal meltdown and there was nothing he could do or say to fix that for her. He couldn’t undo what they’d done. She couldn’t either. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to, and that pissed her off even more.
Instead of talking to him, she ducked her head, grabbed up her clothes, and hightailed it out of the bathroom. She hoped that he’d take the hint and get his clothes back on. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to keep him at a safe distance. She wanted to be the one who was rational and in control.
She knew though, that if Blaze walked through that door, picked her up and tossed her on the bed, she’d gladly do whatever the hell he wanted her to, consequences be damned. She’d live with the regrets for the rest of her life. She’d lose her damn job. It would all be worth it.
Thankfully, he didn’t.
Thankfully, he left her alone to get dressed in silence.
Thankfully, when he did emerge from the bathroom, ten minutes later, he was wearing his jeans, his face was composed into a granite mask, and he looked every inch the asshole boss she saw every single day in the office. The guy used to barking commands and being obeyed. The kind of guy who would never be interested in her beyond what they’d just done.
Thankfully.
Except… she wasn’t thankful at all.
CHAPTER 16
Blaze
Blaze piloted them home because he had to or they wouldn’t get there anytime soon. He was sure Colette saw it as a necessary evil because she sat in her seat, her back ramrod straight, staring out at the scenery, even though he knew she didn’t like being
up in the plane.
The turbulence was worse than it was on the flight that morning, though not anything out of the ordinary. He was used to flying. He’d had his own plane for nearly a decade. Right around the time he’d needed an escape. From everything.
For Colette though, it was a different experience. A new one, not to be trusted. Kind of like him.
After he’d dressed his ass and thrown some fresh bandages over his arms, they’d left the hotel in silence. They’d stayed that way as he returned the keys for the rental and led them back out to the hanger where he’d stashed his plane for the day.
Taking off was no different.
An hour into their flight time and she still hadn’t said a thing, as if ignoring him was her favorite pastime. She was really good at it, too. She should try out for the Ignore Your Boss Olympics Team. If there was such a thing, she’d be sure to win gold.
A bump jostled the plane and while it did absolutely nothing to alarm him, he glanced over and found Colette biting down hard on her plush bottom lip. He wanted to take that lip between his teeth and bite down for her. He wanted to taste her again. Wanted to do so much more than what they’d done. He’d just had the best BJ of his life, seriously, hands down, and he couldn’t stop thinking about getting her horizontal and fucking up into her until they were both a writhing, screaming mess.
Or the time after that, when he’d put his cock in her mouth after being inside of her and let her taste herself.
Or the next time, when he’d press his thumb between her tight, sweet ass cheeks and make her scream by playing with her rosebud as he hit every single nerve ending inside her tight, soaking wet heat.
Or the time after that, when he’d make sure that she didn’t leave until his sheets were soaked and she was a hot mess, flushed and spent on top of them.
Or maybe even the time after that, when she agreed to let him tie her to the bed.
Fuck. He was so seriously fucked.
There had always been something about Colette. Always. She’d tortured him right from the day she’d been hired, so young and fresh and ridiculously enthusiastic. Her beauty was easy, effortless, breathtaking, extraordinary, but that still didn’t explain why he’d been captivated by her. He wanted to tell her to release him from her spell, and in the next breath, he wanted to inform her that she was his and she better get used to the idea, but both those statements seemed overly aggressive, bordering on creep territory, so he bit down hard on the inside of his cheek until it ached like his arms did.
The plane rocked harder when they hit the next turbulent area and Colette barely managed to stifle a gasp. He heard her worried little intake of air and right after he’d steadied the plane, he reached over to her hands, which were locked in a death grip on her lap and set his on top.
She didn’t jerk away.
Which just proved how scared she was.
“We’ll be down on the ground soon enough.”
“Yeah. In a mangled heap, dead,” she shot back.
He flashed her a confident smile she didn’t turn to see. “Never. I’ve flown lots of times. Never crashed once.”
“Obviously. You’re still here alive, to tell the tale. Unfortunately for me, since you dragged me into this.”
“Harsh. I’m wounded, Colette. Really. After all the opportunity I’ve given you? You have your name out there. You have a portfolio. A good salary. Benefits. All without even lifting a finger to go and get some formal training.”
“Would it make it better if I did? Have more training?”
“Not one bit. I’m just saying. If I’d crashed and burned before I had a chance to start the company, you’d probably be SOL.”
“Nope. I would have found somewhere to hire me. And if they wouldn’t have, then I would have gone to school. Got a scholarship or something because I’m smart and I’m talented.”
“And you know it too.”
She turned to him, her brows knitted into a frown, but her eyes were shining with a teasing glint she tried to blink away before he saw it. “Of course, I know it. I know that I’m good. I know that I’m worth it. I’ve worked my ass off for you and your company, so that HBAD could take all the credit.”
“Your name appears in the app credits.”
“Right. Because anyone ever bothers with reading those.”
“Yes, well, I’m just saying. I’ve done a lot for you. Like this date for example. I came up with the idea all on my own.” Lies. “Flew you out to the middle of nowhere. Treated you to a quad ride, which is something you’ll never get the opportunity to do in the city, and to top it all off, I booked us a hotel room, and made sure you came.”
“You came too,” she ground out. Her stare had changed to a murderous look of death.
He found it absolutely charming.
“I did. I’d like to repeat it sometime soon. Your mouth is very, very talented. I’d make it my home, if I could, but there are other places I’d like to live.”
“Yeah. Inside someone else,” she snapped. Her head swiveled around to stare straight ahead again.
Blaze’s stomach dropped out and not from any turbulence. The sky was perfectly smooth, the plane chugging along. It should have been peaceful. Flying was his time away from the rest of his life. His happy place, if that kind of corny, cheesy shit could be used. He left his problems on the ground when he was up in the air. It annoyed him that he felt like shit now while he was flying.
“You know, I’ve never brought anyone up here with me. Ever,” he said slowly. “I wanted to make an exception. For you.”
“Why? Because you thought I’d be impressed?” Colette scoffed.
“No. Because I thought you’d enjoy it.” He winced, wishing he could cram the vulnerability in his voice back into the dark recess of his chest, back into the cave he wanted that shit to stay in, not start crawling out of like starved bears and ferocious demons.
Colette’s head cranked around. Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared. “This was the worst date I’ve ever been on. And I have no doubt that tomorrow you’ll find a new flavor- and yes, I mean that in every sense of the word, so you’ll excuse me if I just sit here and throw up in my mouth a little while you have a tantrum and pretend to be butt-hurt about any of this.”
“Butt-hurt? Did you really just say that?”
“Yeah,” she hissed. “Yeah, I said it. And I meant it. Get that poor-me stick out of your ass, Blaze. I can’t imagine how many hearts you’ve broken so carelessly.”
This time it was his nostrils he felt flaring. “I haven’t broken any hearts. Every single woman I’ve ever been with understands that I’m a busy man and that I’m completely unavailable on every level other than a physical one. We take what we need from each other and we move on. Some people like no strings attached. For some people, it’s what they need.”
“Well, you’ll excuse me if I’m not into the emotionally unavailable, no strings attached, type of deal.” She turned to him, a look of defiance on her face, her features so tight and severe he wanted to fuck her even worse than he did before.
Just to see her fire blazing at full force. To see her spirit.
Christ. He had no idea what was going on with him. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t want those things with her, but he had no idea what that meant. He doubted he was capable of loving anyone properly. Loving.
Love.
That word was a foreign one. A completely laughable concept.
A few days ago, he would have said it wasn’t in the cards. For anyone. That people who said they were in love were faking it. That it wasn’t real. That it was never real.
Now, when he stole a glance over at Colette’s angry face with her glaring eyes and her thinned out lips and her flushed cheeks, he wanted to know. He wanted to know if it was possible. Not just for him but for his company as well. He wanted to know if it wasn’t just a farce or an invention by big corporations to sell more shit. Love was big business. Just ask anyone who cranked out apps. That shit sold.
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“Good. I was just checking.” His eyes swiveled over to Colette’s face again and he couldn’t imagine enjoying any other flavor but her now.
She was a wrecking ball, except instead of wrecking his life or his company, she’d come in and wrecked him, in ways so subtle, he didn’t realize it was even happening over the years.
She wrecked him just by existing.
“Checking?” Her tone was beyond exasperation. It bordered on pissed the fuck off.
“Yeah.” He forced a grin.
He’d found that the best way to deal with his pain over the years was to shove it down and pretend it didn’t exist. He didn’t like to feel sadness. He didn’t like to feel much of anything. The yawning gulf inside of his chest would have torn him clean in half if he’d given it even a foothold. So, he didn’t. He rammed that shit down into the point of no return and closed the lid so that it couldn’t escape.
“Checking?”
“Yeah. Because I was thinking about inviting you over to my place for that cup of tea when we touch down. Seeing as I fucked up the rest of the date. I thought I could make it up to you.”
“T-tea?” Colette stammered. She glared at him like he was trying to trick her. Like what he really wanted to do was slip cyanide or some kind of horrible drug into her drink and have his evil way with her.
“Yes. Tea.”
Her brows knitted together in confusion as the anger bled out of her face. “You have tea?”
“Yes, I have tea. If I didn’t, I’d stop on the way and buy some. I promise not to do anything horrible to you and be on my best tea toting granny behavior.”
“I’ve heard that line before.”
“Seriously? I didn’t realize that was the kind of thing guys said to a lady when they’re trying to pick her up.”