by Abby Knox
“I changed my mind again.“
“Why?”
“I like spending time with you apart from arguing and having sex, and I’m having this strange, human urge to do other things.”
“You are the oddest person I’ve ever met.”
“What did I say wrong now?” he asked.
She imitated his voice when she replied, “‘I have urges to do things with you besides have the sex.’ Yes, it’s called dating. You bring me food, you make plans to go outside and have adventures. It’s dating, what we’re doing.”
Samuel looked at the ceiling. “Dating,” he repeated. “I’m becoming more human by the moment.”
Ada responded to him with a wheezy laugh. “Most humans date first and then do the sex. But not always.”
The giant harrumphed and ran a hand through his hair. “I knew I was getting it wrong.”
Ada shook her head. “Forget it. I’m dying to get out of here, so let’s go!”
The green of the forest floor still had the sheen of dew on it and the sun glittered on the slopes.
Samuel took notice of Ada’s unsure feet going down the mountainside and picked her up without giving it a second thought. “You can ride on my back. It will make the foraging simpler and make it easier for us to stick together.”
“I’m crushing your wings,” she said, circling her arms around his thick neck and awkwardly seeking a hold with her legs.
“You can’t crush them. If feathers fall out they regenerate within days.”
As they walked and foraged together, Samuel bent low to forage mushrooms and truffles, and she reached for berries and fruits and edible flowers.
Carrying her on his back seemed to make it easier for him to speak plainly, and she liked riding on his back. Maybe in another time and place, she would have felt infantilized by this arrangement, but that wasn’t the way it felt. She was so far beyond anything familiar that riding on his back simply felt safe. She felt grateful for it because she was not half as sure-footed as he was in the forest.
Samuel dug at the roots of one particular large oak for truffles. “Something that’s been troubling me is the way you talk about my past like you know. You’ve read your books but you don’t know my experience.”
“So tell me,” she said gently.
He smiled, but inside he was girding himself up for the conversation. “The Nephilim are attracted to humans, the same as our fathers, the Watchers, were. Humans have written a lot of stories about us and our fathers. The truth has been forgotten and history was rewritten to make the Giants look like violent pillagers of the earth. That’s not the way it went down at all at the beginning. A lot of the text has been altered to scare humans, so humans stay away from us. Higher beings, as a rule, don’t want human evolution to ascend to their level. You humans aren’t meant to practice sorcery, alchemy, witchcraft, necromancy, at least that was not the intent of The Authorities. All those things were taught to your kind by the Watchers.”
Samuel jumped over a narrow stream and landed lightly on the other side. Ada prepared herself for the impact, but he barely jostled her. “So why did they even bother to send the Watchers in the first place?”
“In heaven, these angels were known as the Grigori. Their gifts were teaching and creating. The Authorities sent the Watchers to earth to help humans evolve. Before the Watchers came to earth, humans tended to stay together in small family groups. For the species to survive, they needed to explore and meet with other tribes and families.”
Ada nodded. “Cousins marrying each other, for instance.”
He nodded. “And sometimes siblings.”
“Ick,” she spluttered.
Samuel’s huge arm gently held up a thick branch out of the way to make sure it cleared her head as they walked. “It was what you call the Paleolithic era. At first, The Authorities thought it would be better for the species to gain an education. The Watchers were sent among them to teach them about fire, the wheel, how to make tools. It worked, and soon mankind moved out of caves and learned skills beyond hunting and gathering.
“The Watchers taught humans science, art, music and, in some cases, weapons of war.
“The Authorities gave the Watchers extra time on earth because the plan was working. Humans spread across the earth and married other humans from other tribes and babies began to survive more often than not. But then…”
“Things got complicated,” Ada filled in.
“To say the least,” he replied, a sadness filling his voice as he dropped truffles into the basket he had strapped to his side. He stood up and climbed down the mountain farther, using his wings for balance against the steep slope. “The earth, animals, and humans were nothing but playthings to The Authorities. They made one critical mistake though. They gave their humans free will, and things spun out of control. Soon the Watchers began to prefer human company over the company of angels or their homes in the heavens. They fell in love with humans, and the ones who mated with human women sired children. And the children—being half-human, half celestial—were giants in the land.
“And it went on like that for some time, and the Nephilim became great warriors and protectors for the humans. And in the meantime, the Watchers taught humans more and more beyond science and math and art. They shared the things that would make them into gods. They showed them divination, necromancy, witchcraft, astrology. All kinds of magic.“
As he talked, Ada carefully pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked if it was working. The screen lit up under her touch.
All that sexy time had fully charged her phone, and she didn’t feel bad about it one bit. She enjoyed the sex. She enjoyed having Samuel as company. She felt loved, cared for, treasured, for the first time in her life.
And although she hadn’t said it back—and he’d made no expectation of her to say it back—she loved him too.
But as they descended the mountain, she began to get her memories back. She had missed an appointment in Texas. And if he was correct and that she’d been with him for seven days, that meant she had missed another convention in Florida. She listened while he talked but also checked her email. The lady in Texas emailed her several times, as had the event coordinator in Orlando.
She quickly and silently replied to all of them, apologizing and, without thinking, told all of them she was in the hospital recuperating from an appendectomy.
There would, no doubt, be repercussions for that later. What if one day she had real appendicitis? How would she explain it to everyone?
Well, medical stuff was nobody’s business.
She flipped through the photo album in her phone as he spoke, looking through the images she’d snapped while they had been in the abbey library.
“The Authorities grew angry and called the Watchers back home, but they refused. You’re familiar with the story of the Great Flood?”
“Of course, yes. Almost every record of ancient civilizations includes a legend or a story to explain the deluge.”
Without stopping to question herself, she sent all the images of the scrolls to her encrypted email address. Nobody had access to that unless…unless she died. And to make sure there was no search party on the lookout for her or any missing persons report filed, Ada emailed her best friend. “I’m fine, in case anyone’s looking. I got a surprise opportunity to do some research at a monastery if you can believe it. I’m not even supposed to have my phone but I stepped out to let you know what was going on and not to worry.”
“Hold tight,” Samuel said, and, shoving her phone back into her pocket, she gripped his neck while he leaped off the edge of a cliff, and the two of them floated safely down about fifty feet, landing on the rocky bank of a stream at the foot of a narrow waterfall. Samuel crouched to let Ada slide off his back.
“Oh my gosh. Samuel, it’s so beautiful!”
“I thought you would like it,” he said. “I can show you many magical things, but nothing is as good as Mother Nature. This is my favorite place to go t
o be alone.”
Ada shook her head. “Honestly I think I’ve had enough magic for a lifetime. This is perfect. I don’t think I ever want to leave.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Samuel
Her words pricked at his soul. He did not want her to leave and yet he knew at some point she would have to leave, for her safety. But for the moment, everything was good. He wasn’t much of a talker. Samuel was a reader and a thinker, but she brought words out of him.
“Tell me more about the Flood.” She slipped off her sneakers and rolled up her jeans before wading in the gently flowing stream. His heart thudded in his chest. She behaved so comfortably around him. Their companionship felt natural. Humans usually were not so curious about the old stories, but he enjoyed talking to her.
“The Authorities concluded that humans had become too corrupted by the Watchers, so they had the Watchers murdered and sent the Flood as a sort of reset button for mankind, only saving the one isolated family,” he said. “Ironic, isn’t it? That their goal all along was to elevate humans, and yet the only human family they saved were the ones who stayed isolated and uncorrupted, which was, in the beginning, part of the problem that started the whole mess they created.”
Ada seemed to be thinking about all that as she shuffled her feet over the river stones and sand. “Oh!” she said suddenly, reaching her hand down into the water. A moment later she stood back up and showed him what was in her hand: a tiny black salamander. He smiled and examined its disgruntled face. He held out his hand, and the salamander scampered into his palm. Samuel thought for a moment he could read what the salamander was thinking, but alas, that was not his particular gift.
“So, most of the humans were drowned and the Watchers were murdered. The Nephilim escaped scrutiny at first by going far underground into hidden caves to survive after all their parents died. When the waters receded and we were discovered, The Authorities could not bring themselves to have us assassinated because, well, we were half-human. The angels have always had a weakness for humans, just like the Watchers did.
“So we were allowed to live, although the archangels came down from heaven and killed all of the Watchers. They allowed the Nephilim to live, at first, citing that the children were not at fault for the actions of their parents. But we were cursed. We were not allowed to reproduce, as they could not allow the giant DNA to continue.”
“Lovely,” Ada said, holding out her hand. Samuel put the salamander back into her hand so she could bend down and set it free again.
“And yet, the Nephilim retain the stories and the abilities of the gods in our DNA, and some of us, we share these gifts with humans. ESP, different types of magic, talking to the dead, telekinesis, astral projection, all of that comes from us.
“Over the years The Authorities have kept a close eye on us. When they ruled that too many humans were engaging in necromancy and other magics, they sent the Archangel Gabriel to plant seeds of discord among us. Snapping the cords that connected some of us through the network of angels. Some of us became savages, some of us declared war on each other. We killed each other off while the angels did nothing. Eventually, Gabriel, who mourned the bloodshed, pleaded with Michael to restore the cords and help us gain back our higher nature. And that’s why most of us are in hiding. We exist in secret all over the world, never belonging to heaven but never belonging to the earth.”
He stopped talking. Ada sat down on the rocks on the shore of the stream drank from her water bottle, and pulled up tight to her chest. Her eyes drifted up to the waterfall, deep in thought.
“This is a lot. All of this is a lot to take in,” she said.
“Your mind and your spirit were built for it,” he answered. “You were ready for it. And all of it will stay with you. I can’t wipe your memory. I would not dare try it.”
Another pause. He knew what she was thinking without peeking into her mind. She didn’t want any of it to be erased.
She stood up and turned to him and, after a time, said, “Come into the water with me.”
She stripped out of her clothes and gingerly made her way toward the pool at the base of the waterfall. Samuel rushed to her side, insisting on holding her hand in case she slipped on the moss-covered rocks. When they reached the pool, she knelt so she was submerged in the water up to her neck.
He joined her there, still towering over her as she ran her hands over him in the burbling water.
“I want you to use your human form to make love to me.”
“Ada. It’s not the real me.”
“But it’s part of you, and I want to connect with your human side.”
Overwhelmed by her open heart, Samuel could not refuse. In an instant, he cloaked himself as human, even though he knew he would pay the price later. He would be depleted and his brothers would ask more questions. Their time together may have already alerted the attention of those celestial hall monitors, the Seraphim. Maybe even the archangels.
Ada’s face showed no signs of fear. She ran the pad of her thumb across his bottom lip, then his top lip. “Kiss me with these human lips.”
His human body groaned for her, and he was powerless against the connection. Swiftly he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, tasting her for the first time as fully human. It felt strange and different, but lovely. He hated to admit it, but he felt this more equal match to be even hotter. He pressed his tongue into her mouth and she took it, allowing herself to taste him back. Her legs fit around his hips. Her breasts felt even fuller against his chest. He felt surrounded by her arms and legs. How many thousands of years had he lived in a house he and his brothers had built with their own hands, and for the first time, he felt as if he was at home.
Sinking inside her, the connection was unlike anything he’d experienced before. She not only fit perfectly, but he was able to look directly into her eyes while they were connected, and it touched something deep inside his soul.
The pair of them touched, kissed, and delighted each other to completion as equals, and when they finished, Samuel had another ache in his belly entirely. He ached to be fully human and live out a short life with this human creature.
Samuel squeezed her tight when they’d finished. “Keep seducing me and I may not ever let you leave.”
In his arms, he felt her breath catch in her throat. The smile she gave in response to what he’d said felt sad.
He watched his Ada stand and wade through the knee-high water until she stood under the cascading stream, letting it soak her hair. She laughed, “I needed this. The bath is lovely but I’ve been craving a shower.”
Samuel stood and joined her under the gently showering waterfall.
“There’s some stuff I need to tell you.”
Smoothing her wet hair away from her face, Samuel nodded. He knew something was coming and he was ready to listen.
“I need you to understand that I like this…I like what we’re doing here…but I’m also scared out of my mind. I’m losing my memory when we’re at home. I mean…not home, at your home, at the abbey. But here, with you, it’s different. I remember Emmeline. I remember the lecture. I remember your face from the panel discussion at the festival. The camping trip with those TV guys. I even remember that I’ve missed another investigation and now I’m in danger of torpedoing my entire career because maybe I don’t want to leave.”
Samuel’s forehead creased. “Think what you must about what I did, but I never did anything magical to your mind to convince you to stay with me.”
She shook her head as she struggled to slip on her shoes. “Everything about you is magic. You say I’ve handled all of this knowledge so well, but I think it’s all…changing my brain. It’s too powerful. It’s making me think things, have feelings I’ve never had before. With every passing minute, it’s making me come closer and closer to giving up my human life.”
“I would never ask you to do that.”
She studied his eyes for clues. “Then I’m free to go now? Is that what you mea
n?”
Samuel felt that whatever he said next would be the wrong answer.
Anxiously he chewed on the inside of his cheek and silently cursed himself for hesitating to answer. You hesitate because your motives are unwholesome, he thought to himself. You don’t want her to have free will. You want to scoop her up and fly her back to the sanctuary of the abbey, make her forget all the meaningless things that humans fuss about. Her life could be so much better if she chose to stay with you.
But his human side. Gods dammit. His human side cared too deeply about her free will. His human side had more of a conscience than the part of him that was descended from heaven.
He had only one choice, as he saw it. “You can go if that’s what you want. I won’t stop you.”
Her countenance darkened. “It’s not what I want.”
Samuel thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest, that is until he saw the look on her face. “But I don’t know how to make this work. You can’t live in my world and I can’t stay here.”
She dropped her head for a moment then abruptly turned away and walked toward the trees and the rocky cliff.
“Where are you going?”
“Anywhere,” she said. “I need to think. Maybe walking will clear my head and I can figure out what it is we’re supposed to do.”
Her feet were barely ten yards from the creek and already she’d begun to stumble over roots on the steep slide down.
“Wait, Ada. It’s not safe that way.”
“Just give me some time to think things over.”
Now she was being obstinate. “Then let me fly you down the mountain. You don’t even know which way to go. We’re miles deep in the wilderness, dear one…”
As she slipped down, farther and farther, she called out, “I’m fine! I can feel all my memories coming back the lower I go. It’s fascinating…”
Of course, he followed her, resisting the urge to pick her up again.
“Ah, here’s the trail, I think. Now, the sun is over there. And that means the town is that way,” she said to herself. “So if I bear left I’ll get to the highway, I b—ouch! What the…?! Oh, fuck that hurts, what…oh no, oh shit!”