She looks at me, confused. "What happened to who?"
"Your boyfriend."
"Oh. Sorry, I'm not sure that my mind is working....I wasn't sure...who you were talking about."
"Don't apologize. You've been through a lot."
"Yes, I guess we all have." A minute later, she says, "His name was Rick. He was so handsome and kind. We met during one of my shifts at the diner." She smiles, lost in the memory. "He always took his coffee with two creamers and six sugars."
I find myself smiling as I listen to her recall a simpler, happier time. Her voice is nice; its melodic cadence relaxes me.
"He used to do the sweetest things for me. Flowers after a long day. Love letters stuck under my windshield wiper." She wipes tears from her face with a trembling hand. "He died trying to save me. If I had just moved a little faster....if I hadn't tripped....maybe he would still be here."
I squeeze her hand, and say, "It wasn't your fault, Alena."
"No, I guess not. But he's still gone," she says, getting a faraway look in her eyes. "Everything is gone."
I give her hand another squeeze. "Enough talking for now. You need to get some rest. We'll be leaving soon."
She nods and closes her eyes; within a few minutes her breathing slows and she seems to relax. I feel bad that she blames herself for something that couldn't be helped....couldn't be prevented. It all seems so wrong; being forced to watch our loved ones die, then forced to carry the weight of their deaths around with us the rest of our days. Always thinking in what-ifs, and wondering if there was something....anything...we could have done differently. But no matter what we did, or didn't do, the events set in motion that sunny day in May yielded a species intent on destroying everything we ever loved.
And so far, they're succeeding.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Daniel
It's been two days, and our food supply is nearly gone. We can't stay at the house much longer. Once Kelli and Alena are asleep, Chloe, Meredith, and I sit at the small dining room table to plan our next move.
"Do you think she's strong enough to leave?" I ask.
Meredith nods. "She's stronger. Still not 100%, but well enough to walk, I think."
"If we go slow, she should be able to keep up."
I run my hand through my hair. "Okay, good. So, I figure we're still a good 20 miles from Asheville."
"Really? I feel like we've been walking forever," Chloe says.
"We have, but we've not been walking in a straight line,” Meredith says. “And we stop every day to rest and eat. That adds up."
Chloe rolls her eyes. "Yeah. It adds up to the longest trip ever."
"What do you want me to do, Chloe? Fly you there in my airplane?" I ask, suddenly irritated.
"Don't be a jerk, Daniel. I'm allowed to get frustrated," she says, cutting her eyes at me.
"We're all frustrated, but you're the only one vocalizing it all day, every day!"
"Guys, stop!" Meredith says, motioning for us to lower our voices. Once she has our attention she continues. "Look, as much as I understand and appreciate sibling rivalry, now isn't the time. We've got to plan the next leg of our trip. Focus."
I exhale slowly, trying to get my body to relax and my mind back on things that matter. "You're right. I'm sorry," I say, looking at Chloe. She nods stiffly, but doesn't speak, so I turn back to Meredith. "So, we're just outside of Haney, right? Should we try to get back on the main road, or stick to the back roads like we've been doing?"
Meredith thinks for a moment, then says, "I'd like to stick to the back roads...go through town. I feel like there would be more opportunity for food and supplies on that route."
Chloe stands up. "Well, I guess that's decided, then. I'm going to bed."
I watch her stalk off, wondering how long it's been since I've seen the happy-go-lucky sister I used to know. I think back to that day in Hannah’s Cafe; had she been smiling then? Had she been laughing? I don't remember, and try as I might, I can't conjure up the sound of her bright and cheery laugh in my mind. A pain shoots through my heart...I'm not sure I'll ever hear that sound again.
I miss it.
"Have you tried to talk to her?" Meredith asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I shake my head. "Not yet. But I think you're right. If we don't make it to Asheville soon, we're going to have to find somewhere to hole up for a while. Chloe's not herself lately."
"Why do you think she's having such a hard time? I mean...despite the obvious."
"I don't know. She's always been a sort of a homebody. Maybe not having her own space is getting to her?"
"There has to be more to it than that."
I think for a minute. It's impossible to guess what's going through Chloe's mind, but I settle for, "Maybe she's starting to realize we may never make it to Asheville."
"Smart girl."
Meredith reaches over and squeezes my hand. I cover it with mine.
We sit like that for a minute, eyes locked and my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. Just as I decide to lean in and kiss her she pulls her hand from mine and stands. "Get some rest, Daniel. We've got a long day tomorrow," she says, then walks toward the bedrooms.
I sit at the table a moment longer, reflecting on that missed opportunity. I doubt I'll be getting much sleep tonight.
* * *
Chloe
The next morning, we gear up and prepare to leave the house.
"I'm not going with you."
I stop adjusting my backpack straps and look up. "Say what?"
Alena stands in the doorway to the living room. Her arms are crossed, her expression hardened. "I said I'm not going."
"Why not?" Daniel asks, surprised.
She shakes her head sadly and says, "I'm not leaving my daughter."
Now it's my turn to be surprised. "Daughter? What? Where?"
She motions to the world beyond the front door. "Out there. Somewhere. I can't leave her."
I give a last pull on the strap of my backpack. "Is she lost? We can help you find her."
A tear rolls down her cheek, burning a wet trail down her pretty face. "She's not what she used to be. But I still can't leave her behind."
"Alena, I'm so sorry," Meredith says, tears in her eyes.
Her emotional response catches me off-guard. She's usually so stoic. She notices Daniel and me staring and quickly regains her composure. She clears her throat. "We understand why you need to stay," she says solemnly.
"But....but, it's not safe here," Daniel argues.
Alena laughs. "Is anywhere safe?"
She's right. Nowhere is safe.....not really. Not anymore. Maybe never again.
Daniel looks at me, silently asking whether or not we should force her to join us. I shake my head, telling him there's no use in trying to persuade her. I can tell by her look of resolve, there's no convincing her otherwise. Plus, as bad as this sounds, it's one less mouth to feed when food rations are already dangerously low.
Meredith buckles her backpack around her waist, and snaps the chest strap. "Do you need anything before we leave?" she asks, back to her normal, pragmatic self.
Alena shakes her head and Meredith nods. "Okay. You have ten more minutes to change your mind before we leave," she says.
We spend the next ten minutes gathering and securing our belongings, and then leave the house to continue our journey to Asheville.
Without Alena.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chloe
I feel guilty for leaving Alena behind...guilty for not trying harder to get her to change her mind...guilty for not trying at all, for that matter. I prayed for forgiveness just after leaving the house, then again an hour ago, but I don't feel forgiven any more than I did after I stole a pack of gum from a convenience store when I was eight years old. I felt like a rotten person then, and I feel even more rotten now.
I'm a terrible person.
"What's wrong?" Kelli asks.
"Do you think Alena will be okay?"
I ask.
"No."
"Great. Thanks."
She shrugs. "Just being honest."
"Well, I hope..."
"Hey, look over there," she says, interrupting me.
An elderly couple is slowly exiting an abandoned house just ahead. They appear to be in their late seventies; the man is tall and solid, with tanned skin and a shockingly white head of hair, while the woman is short and thin, with salt and pepper hair. They're each carrying a trash bag filled with whatever it is they collected from the empty house.
Daniel holds a hand in the air, letting them know it's safe to approach. "Hey. What's your name?" he asks as they draw closer.
"Billy and Janice Hart. And you?" the old man answers.
"Daniel. Is it just the two of you?"
"I reckon so, son."
After a few more pleasantries, Billy and Janice ask if they can join us. We're still in the Haney city limits, not fifteen miles from the house we left Alena at. I could laugh at the irony of it all. I was so relieved when Alena decided to stay behind; it was one less mouth to feed. Then, just as quickly, the relief gave way to self-loathing...I couldn't believe I had become the person who would rather leave someone behind than feed them. I prayed for forgiveness. I guess God answered that prayer by giving me a chance to redeem myself...multiplied by two. Or maybe I'm just that unlucky.
Or ungrateful.
I'm already finding reasons it might not be a good idea to bring them along. They're sweet, but considering their advanced age, I worry they'll slow us down. In this world, there's only the quick and the dead.
"Of course you can join us," Daniel says.
Of course.
Daniel asks them about their family, making small talk.
"We watched our daughter and the grands leave out, heading toward Charlotte...right after. Her husband, Ted said it would be safer there," Janice answers, then wipes a tear away. "That's the last we saw of them."
She starts to weep.
"Now, Janice, you know they're just fine. Right as rain, so they say," Billy says, wrapping an arm around her. "Don't you worry about our Debbie. She's a smart girl...she'll know what to do no matter what happens."
I'm about to say something childish and cynical, because his optimism makes me think about how truly hopeless our situation is, when the look on his face stops me. While Janice cries into his shirt, he stares off into the distance...a look of complete devastation is etched across his weathered face. I recognize that look. He knows Debbie is most likely dead. He's just lying to his wife to keep her from giving up.
He might be stronger than I gave him credit for.
Later that day, we collect yet another survivor named Lane. He's young, maybe nineteen, with dark brown hair and green eyes set into a handsome, although thin, face.
"How long has it been since you've eaten?" I ask.
"Um....I can't remember. I think I ate two days ago," he says and shrugs. "I found a can of peaches in a car."
That's what I thought. He needs food. All of us have lost weight over the past few months, but Lane is dangerously thin for a guy his age and build.
I look at Daniel. "Can we make camp early tonight? He needs to eat."
"I was just thinking the same thing," he says.
And so we spend another night in Haney...in a different house...with three additional mouths to feed, and one very guilt-ridden Christian wrestling with her crumbling faith.
* * *
Daniel
"Why lie about the boyfriend in Asheville?"
Meredith looks at me. "I don't know, honestly."
"That's your answer? I don't know?" I say, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, yeah...I mean, I've gotten so used to lying, I don't really give it much thought anymore." She shrugs. "I just say whatever comes to mind."
"Did that count as my one question for the day?" I ask. "Because it shouldn't....especially since you gave me a non-answer."
She smiles. "Fine. That was a freebie."
I'm thinking, choosing my next question carefully since it will be my last for today. Finally, I look at her and ask, "Why are you used to lying? Have you always been a liar?"
"Technically that was two questions, not one."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, have you always been a liar?"
She smiles again, but it's her sad one...the one she smiles when she's remembering something painful. I want to know what that something is. "No, Daniel. I wasn't always a liar," she says.
I nod. "Good."
"For what it's worth, I only lied to you and Chloe because I didn't think I'd be with you all this long," she says after a few minutes of silence.
"Good to know." I look at her. "You don't have to lie to us anymore. We're family now. Warts and all."
"Good to know," she echoes, then walks ahead, leaving me behind to wonder how much longer until I figure out what happened to her.
* * *
Chloe
Later that evening, the seven of us sit around the living room of a small trailer, eating cold beans and drinking warm water from our canteens.
I take in the dirty room. "This was the best you could find?" I ask Daniel.
Daniel looks up from his beans. "I know it's not the Ritz, but every other place we found had other occupants. The dead kind," he says. "This will do for the night."
I nod and eat the rest of my dinner in silence, listening to the quiet conversation of the others around me.
Lane to Kelli. "I'm sorry about your dad."
Kelli to Lane. "Yeah, me too."
Janice to Kelli. "I lost my dad when I was about your age, dear. You never get over it, but it does get easier."
Meredith to Daniel. "When should we leave out tomorrow?"
Daniel to Meredith. "I'm not sure traveling during the day is safe anymore. It's so hot right now."
Billy to Daniel. "You ain't lying, chief."
And it goes on and on, well into the night. If I didn't know better, I would think this was just some normal (albeit strange) slumber party, where everyone just keeps talking so they're not the first one to go to sleep.
But I do know better.
Finally, Daniel stands up and stretches. "Alright, everyone. Let's get some rest. We need to get a move on at first light."
"What's the game plan for tomorrow?" I ask.
He looks around the room, taking in the varying conditions of his traveling companions. "We'll walk as far as we can, until it gets too hot to keep going. Then we'll find somewhere to hunker down until the sun starts to set."
Billy nods. "Won't cover much distance that way, but if we all die from heat stroke, we won't be any better off."
Daniel snorts. "That's one way to put it."
With that, we spread out as much as the small trailer will allow, and sleep until the first morning rays begin peeking through the broken shades.
Chapter Thirty
Chloe
I'm so over the whole sleeping in abandoned houses thing.
A familiar feeling of guilt washes over me. I honestly want to find my parents; I need closure...to know if they're alive or dead...or something else, altogether. But there's no guarantee we'll even find our parents once we get to Asheville, and I want a home. Somewhere I can feel safe. In other words, something different than jumping from house to house, hoping for the best. Hoping the next one we find isn't teeming with Revs. Or guarded by other survivors.
Always hoping, never a solid plan.
The road between Everly and Asheville is widely uninhabited pasture land, with houses showing up here and there, usually just when our hope in finding suitable shelter for the night fades to nothing. Fortuitous. Our standard practice has been to stay in one place until the food and toiletries are gone, then move on to the next abandoned house. We've become a tribe of nomads, moving and gathering during the day, and staying still and quiet through the night, when the Revs are most active.
We still don't understand everything (or anything) about the Revs and how th
ey operate...why they exist...but between us all, we've managed to piece together bits and pieces of information. One, you don't have to be bitten or scratched to turn; two, while the dead are more active at night, that doesn't mean the days are without risk; three, people are just as dangerous as the dead; and, finally, all of humanity is in a fight we probably can't win.
Sooner or later, we all join the dead.
I glance at the members of my group. Daniel is talking to Meredith, while Kelli and Lane chat just behind me. Billy and Janice are reminiscing about happier times with their daughter and grandkids.
The shoulder straps of my pack dig into my skin, making it feel like I'm carrying a hundred pounds of despair on my shoulders; I am so tired. "When do we plan to stop? It's getting hot," I say.
Daniel looks back at me, and says, "Meredith and I have been looking for a spot. So far, nada."
I wipe the sweat out of my eyes. "I can't go much farther."
"Hang in there. Hopefully it won't be much longer."
Daniel turns back to Meredith, and within a few minutes, they're lost in whatever conversation I interrupted. I want to cry. It seems so immature and useless, but I don't care, I feel utterly hopeless right now. There's no end to this road. No end to this walking. No end to this nightmare. My eyes are wet; I'm not sure if it's sweat or tears. I pull a long-sleeved shirt out of my pack and rub it across my face, trying unsuccessfully to wick the moisture away.
I smell them before I hear them. The sudden scent of manure mixed with rot tickles my nose and causes gooseflesh to spring up on my bare arms.
Revs.
I stop and look in every direction, quickly trying to determine where they are. A low mewling sound comes from the treeline behind us, echoing off the bark of the trees. I can't pinpoint the direction they're coming from.
Daniel and Meredith stop, immediately alert. "Anywhere to hide?" he asks.
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