But Serena had the sinking feeling that Ash was sparing her feelings. Just as you’re trying to spare hers. “Well, I’m going to fatten myself up here today. Come. I saved you a seat next to me.”
Waitresses in tailored black pantsuits were pouring Earl Grey tea into the delicate pink and gold china cups while Lucy encouraged everyone toward the buffet table. Serena filled a small plate with tiny egg salad sandwiches and scones.
“Thanks for inviting me,” Ashley whispered as she sat on the sofa next to her.
Talk quickly turned to the subject of Becca’s upcoming wedding. Serena tried to catch Michelle’s eye. A wedding maybe wasn’t the best topic for Ashley today. But Ashley threw herself wholeheartedly into the discussion—Becca and Jack had hired her to do the photography.
“Do you want pictures at the bachelorette party?” Ashley was asking.
“Depends on whether it’s at a male stripper show,” Natalie laughed, then seemed to remember who else was present. “Sorry, mom.”
Michelle waved her off. “I’m not going to the bachelorette party, so …” She waved her hand again, not bothering to even finish the thought.
“I want it to be someplace Jackie can come to.”
The room fell dead silent at Becca’s request.
“Why not here?” Cassidy suggested. She looked around. “This is really nice.”
Serena listened passively as plans and ideas for the party swirled around her, her ears only perking up when someone mentioned Jack’s bachelor party. She knew vaguely that Oliver was planning to go, but she was surprised to learn now that the party was the weekend her parents were coming. Ollie had rather conveniently skipped over that detail. Not that she had sorted out how, exactly, she was going to manage the relationship between her parents and her husband … but she still had three weeks to figure it out.
“Serena? You’re invited to the bachelorette party too.” Cassidy was looking straight at her.
“Oh. My parents are coming to town that weekend, to see the boys.”
“Oh?” Michelle perked up. “That’s wonderful!”
“Definitely more important than my bachelorette party,” Becca agreed.
The waitresses discreetly began to clear away the empty platters from the buffet. Another waitress was topping off tea cups for what was evidently the last time. Serena rose from the sofa and went over to speak quietly to Lucy about the bill. They turned away from the other guests.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lucy whispered. “Sterling wanted to donate the afternoon. Ashley does so much work for the Inn.”
“Oh Lucy, I can’t let him do that. This was my idea.”
“He insists. Truly.”
Ten minutes later, everyone was making their goodbyes to each other and walking to separate cars. Ashley fell into step beside Serena.
“It’s great you’ve been cleared to drive,” she said.
“Yeah. Oliver still worries though.”
“You were fine every time I took you out.” They arrived at the minivan. “Thank you for today.” Ashley wrapped her arms around Serena in a loose hug. “I know this was your idea. I appreciate it. I would have just sat at home and been miserable.”
When Ashley dropped her arms and stepped back, Serena saw that her friend’s eyes were misted with tears.
“Actually, it was Ben’s idea.”
Ash frowned, confused.
“He arranged for his attorney to send me a letter asking me to do something for you today.”
Ashley’s tears spilled over in earnest. Serena dug tissues from her purse and pressed them into her friend’s hand.
“I’m never going to find another man like him. Everyone says ‘oh you’re so young, you’ll meet someone else.’ But I won’t. Ben was one of a kind.”
“Where’s mom again?” Cam asked, looking up from the space rover he was crafting from Legos.
For about the hundredth time, Oliver replied, “she’s at the tea for Miss Ashley.”
“Oh. Is Miss Ashley coming home with her?”
Oliver hadn’t realized how popular Ashley Wardman was with his sons. Had Serena and Ben done things together with Mason and Cam? When he was out of town for training, say? The boys didn’t talk about Ben the way they did Ashley. But still. They might have been told not to.
Don’t you dare ask them.
“Dad?” Mason sat on the other side of the wide pool of Legos. He held up a small brown piece. “Can you find me another one like this, only red?”
Oliver was the Lego Whisperer, able to magically root through the multicolored jumble of plastic on the living room rug and spot even the oddest, most unusual bricks. If we divorce, she’ll get the kids. The thought rang clear as a bell as he sifted through plastic bricks. That’s what would happen. She would take them to New York. He’d only see them on weekends, if that. Given his schedule, visitation would be a nightmare. Or what if she put them in boarding school? Then he’d never see them.
That’s why her parents were coming at the end of the month. He was certain of it. They were going to talk her into leaving him and taking the boys up north. Why else would they decide to come visit, after all these years of ignoring their daughter and grandsons?
He shouldn’t have agreed to go to Jack’s bachelor party that weekend. What if he came home and they were gone? He looked at his sons, their heads bent intently to their individual creations, and felt faint. I can’t lose them.
You’re letting your imagination run away with you.
He sifted through the pile of plastic, looking for the piece Mason needed. And yet you always said I was your least imaginative child. Jeez, he was talking to his mother again. He needed her advice, her wise counsel—that’s why he was constantly imagining these conversations with her.
There it was! He snatched up the tiny red brick before he lost it again in the sea of plastic. “Here you go, bud.” He held it out to Mason.
“Thanks, dad.”
Cam looked up from his space rover. “You’re better at this than mom.”
“She tries, Cammy,” Mason admonished his younger brother.
“I know. I’m just saying.”
As Oliver watched his sons play, his heart swelled with love. These were his boys. Yeah, he’d run into any burning building to save a complete stranger but he’d jump out of a plane or wrestle a wild animal to save his boys.
“I love you guys, you know that?”
His sons’ heads snapped up, the expressions on their small faces a mixture of surprise, pity for their old man, and is this a joke?
“Yeah, we know,” Mason answered for both of them, then bent his head again to his Legos.
Oliver resisted the urge to laugh. Had he and his brothers been that embarrassed by their dad when they were kids? Don’t answer that. He preempted the imaginary conversation with his mom. This afternoon with the boys felt familiar, comforting. All those months when Serena was in the hospital, it had been just the three of them. Was it wrong that he missed those times, just a little? Not that he wished his wife was still in a coma! But there had been that “three of them against the world” vibe in those months, a quest for survival against the forces of misfortune and the vagaries of the universe.
You also missed Serena and wished she were around to help. You wondered how she wrangled the boys all day long without losing her mind and falling asleep on the sofa every night, too exhausted to even make it up the stairs to the bedroom.
That was true. I didn’t say it made any sense. Feelings never did, in Oliver’s experience.
“Who wants popcorn?” he asked suddenly.
Mason looked up. “Now?”
“Sure now. Why not?”
Cam spun the thick rubber wheels of his space rover with his finger. “Mom says we’re snacking too much between meals.”
“Well, mom’s not here right now.” He gave his sons a conspiratorial grin. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
Chapter 25
The kids in Cam’s classroom were noisily cle
aning up. Serena had come in to help with math, filling in for another parent volunteer who was sick. Math? Me? But it had gone well. It was kindergarten math, after all.
She looked across the barely-controlled chaos to Cam on the other side of the room. His dark hair bobbed head and shoulders above the other kids, easily the tallest child in the class. He favored Oliver in looks but maybe he was going to be really tall like his uncle Jack—six foot five. That gene must have come from Angie’s family somewhere because Tim Wolfe was short and stocky like Matt. Maybe there was a giant uncle or great-great grandfather on one of the branches of the family tree.
Chelsea sidled up to her. “Quite a few of the kids had breakthroughs this week.”
“They really did.” It was gratifying to see a child finally “get it,” to have the pieces all of a sudden snap into place.
“Well, I couldn’t do it without you. The PTA is holding a luncheon for volunteers next Friday. Just let Kym in the front office know if you’re coming.”
Serena thought for a moment. Was next week already—? “I can’t. My parents will be in town. But speaking of volunteers, I’d be happy to volunteer in your classroom next year. Even though I won’t have any kids in your class.”
“Oh, I won’t be back in the fall.” Chelsea patted her stomach. “I’m pregnant.”
Serena’s eyes widened. “Congratulations. This is your first?”
Chelsea nodded happily. “But I’ll be sure to leave a note for the new teacher with your contact info and a glowing recommendation.”
In the front office, Serena signed out of the visitor’s log and turned in her badge. At the door, she stopped. On the wall was a large bulletin board covered with flyers and notices. Normally, she waltzed right past it. But today, something caught her eye—a large poster from Talbot College advertising its evening and weekend programs in education.
Teachers: Get your master’s and advance faster in your career.
Career-switchers: Get credit for your professional experience and get your teaching certification in as little as 18 months!
Open House: May 9. Financial aid available.
She thought about the poster on the drive home. Teaching certification in a year and a half. She’d never considered being a teacher. But she liked helping out in Cam’s classroom. No, she more than liked it. She loved it. She looked forward to it every week. It was the one area of her life where she still felt competent.
She pulled onto her street, pressed the garage door opener, and pulled the minivan inside. The other bay was empty. No surprise there. Oliver was spending more time at the station lately. The fire department was planning to build a second station on the other side of town. As deputy chief, Oliver was heavily involved in that.
But it was hard not to wonder whether he was spending more time at the station as a way to avoid her. They fought after Ashley’s tea. She’d been upset that he hadn’t told her about the bachelor party happening the week her parents would be here. Not that she would ever keep him from going to his brother’s party, but the lack of communication bothered her.
Was it always like that? Had their marriage always been full of these little misunderstandings, miscommunications, emotional mishaps?
She turned off the ignition and went into the house, hanging her jacket on a coat hook just inside the door. She leaned against the wall for a moment, surveying the kitchen—the shiny stainless steel refrigerator, the sunny window above the sink, the wicker basket of paper napkins sitting on the island. A kitchen was the heart of a home. Or that’s what some people said, anyway. Or maybe it was something she had read in a magazine. She couldn’t remember, nor did it matter anyway. If this kitchen had ever felt like the heart of these four walls and a roof, she was having trouble remembering it now. She wasn’t sure the house even had a heart anymore.
She pushed away from the wall and went into the den. She booted up her laptop, opened a browser window, and typed in the web address for Talbot College. There was a link for the Education Open House right on the home page. She clicked and filled in the short RSVP form. She had no idea how she would pay for it, but it couldn’t hurt to go and check it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? If her marriage was on the rocks—and it was starting to look that way—she needed to prepare for the worst case scenario.
She had always vowed not to make the same mistakes her mother made. There was no way she was going to spend years waiting for her husband to change and watching opportunities pass her by. Chelsea wouldn’t be the last teacher to leave the St. Caroline school system. If she got her certification, she’d be ready when the next opening came up.
She launched her email app and began deleting the day’s messages. Viagra for cheap. A sale on boys’ jeans. A clearance sale on winter clothing. More spam. Cialis for cheap. Then a confirmation email from Talbot College popped up. She clicked on it and added the open house to her calendar. She leaned back in the desk chair and stared blankly at the flickering screen.
I didn’t have an affair.
She waited for that other voice to chime in and agree with her. It was like good cop-bad cop in her head. The doctor had said not to worry about it.
The voice was silent today. Now that she thought of it, it had been silent for awhile. A week, at least. Maybe it didn’t agree with her anymore.
I did not cheat on Oliver. Maybe the voice was still listening. I loved Ollie! She pulled herself up short. I love Ollie. Present tense. She still loved him, even though he was driving her nuts with this affair nonsense.
Even though she wasn’t sure he still loved her.
She leaned forward and began scrolling quickly through her email, all the way back to last summer. She was looking for Ben’s name. If they’d had an affair, he might have emailed her. She scrolled through July, June, May, April, March … nothing. Just the usual emails from the elementary school, the fire department, local businesses—the Inn, the Purple Pickle Deli, Talbot College—reminders from the boys’ dentist and Dr. Trevor, their pediatrician.
She closed the laptop. Not that the lack of email from Ben would convince Oliver at this point. He seemed to have his mind all made up. I cheated on him and that was that.
Her phone pinged with a text. Are you free for lunch? It was from Ashley.
Now? She still had several hours before school let out.
Sure. I’m at the Inn. Meet at Skipjack’s?
When Serena walked into Skipjack’s, she found Ashley sitting with Becca Trevor at a table by the window. Becca gave her a wide smile and a little wave when she spotted her. She looked so damn … happy. Serena could remember feeling that way right before her wedding. When you believed that “for better or for worse” really only meant “for better.” And you’re certain that yours won’t be one of the many marriages that dissolve in divorce. That only happens to other people.
Until it happens to you.
“I invited Becca to eat with us,” Ashley said as Serena pulled out the third chair and sat down. “We were scouting photo shoot locations outside.”
“Seems like plenty of good places for pictures around here.”
“We’re trying to recreate the wedding photo Jack’s parents took when they got married here. But the treeline looks a little different now.” Becca held out her phone. On the screen was a photo of a young Angie and Tim Wolfe.
Serena stared at her mother-in-law for a long moment. “Wow. They look so young.” She shook her head as Becca pulled back the phone. “Ollie and I got married at the Episcopal Church.”
“Well, April weather can be iffy. Jack and I may regret having an outdoor wedding if it rains.”
The waitress brought over lunch menus, sparking a flash of memory in Serena. She flipped the menu over to the drinks. “The boys love those silly drinks they have here in the summer.”
Becca laughed. “Oh the Crabby Lady and Monster’s Claw. They’re not on the menu until May.”
“Were you at the school this morning?” Ashley asked.
Serena nodded as she wavered between the hamburger and the chicken salad sandwich. She was sort of craving fries, but the chicken salad would come with a pickle. “I registered for an open house over at the college,” she said, absently. “They have a teacher certification program for career switchers. Not that I have a career to switch from, but …” She looked up at the waitress. “I’ll have the chicken salad.”
“Me too,” Ashley said, then turned her gaze back to Serena. “I am so glad you’re going through with that.”
Serena frowned. “What do you mean, ‘going through with it?’”
“You were considering going back to school last year.”
“I was?”
“Yeah, you and Ben used to talk about it. Well, I think he was more trying to talk you into it. You don’t remember the day you went into the high school to shadow a few teachers?”
Serena’s eyes widened. She’d been considering high school teaching? “Really? This was something I wanted to do before? Why didn’t I do it?”
“You were worried about the cost.”
“Huh.” Serena tried to wrap her brain around this news. So this wasn’t a brand new idea of hers. “Well, I still don’t know how I’m going to pay for it. But I’m going to the open house. Baby steps.”
“That’s great, Serena. Really. You’ll make an awesome teacher. Ben always thought so.”
“He did?” And was that good or bad? How close was she to him? Close enough for him to have opinions on her life? “Ollie is convinced I was having an affair with Ben.” Oh damn. The words were out before she could think twice about the wisdom of saying them, especially in front of Oliver’s soon-to-be sister-in-law. She held her breath, waiting for a reaction.
But Ashley’s reaction was loud laughter. “Oh that’s nonsense.” She rolled her eyes. “One, you would never do that to me. And two, Ben would never have done that to me.” Ashley shook her head. “Our marriage was solid. Plus, Ben was sick most of last year. He was in no shape for that kind of thing.”
That was true. She wondered why Oliver hadn’t taken that into account.
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