The gown needed to come off—now.
I ripped the straps off first. It felt good, so I kept going. Buttons and strings flew through the air while I tugged and ripped my way out. And when the last seam broke, it felt like freedom. What remained of the dress fell to the floor. Seeing the shredded fabric lying there released the anger inside of me that I didn’t realize I was carrying. "Why didn’t you prepare me for this?” I screamed into the empty air as if Dad could hear me somehow.
I screamed again, and it came out like a growl. I wanted to hate my father. To curse his very existence for leaving me. It made no sense, but I was so angry I couldn’t think clearly. Burning liquid raced up my throat, ripping me out of my thoughts. I made a beeline for the bathroom. Clutching the sides of the toilet, I emptied my stomach. There wasn’t much in there. Once the dry gagging ceased, I pressed my cheek against the cool bathroom floor.
As my eyes closed, I let the tears flow freely.
A knock at my bedroom door rattled me from sleep. My back ached from lying on the floor for who knows how long. Grumbling, I pushed onto my elbows, managing to stand. I nearly fell over when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I had swollen red eyes, smeared by ruined make-up. Wild hair sticking up in every direction. I could have auditioned for a zombie role on The Walking Dead. I turned on the faucet and wet a hand towel. I rubbed it over my face.
Another series of knocks reminded me that someone waited at the door. I threw on a robe I found hanging from a rod. The tiny garment barely covered my thighs, but it was the only piece of clothing I spotted. Twisting my hair into a clip, I made my way to the door.
Of all the elementals who could’ve stood here, why did it have to be Rowan? He took a step backward, giving me a once over. "Wow,” he said, chuckling. “I thought you were having dinner with a bunch of boring council members?”
Mortified, I left him standing at the door while I dashed into the bathroom.
"Had I known it was that kind of party, I would’ve crashed it.” He must have come inside my room because after the door shut, his boots thumped across the floor.
I scrambled around my bathroom, searching for anything I could wear. Folded beneath the vanity mirror, I found my Jelly Belly pajamas. Someone must have sent knights to my house to retrieve my belongings. Rainbow-colored beans peppered the drawstring pants. I slipped them on along with a white tank top.
I can’t go out there wearing this.
Mom had bought me those PJ’s back in middle school. The outfit came as a gift when she purchased a huge container of every jellybean they made. We spent one afternoon mixing all the different kinds, making up new flavors. After eating the entire container, we were both sick for days. It was one of my favorite memories with her. "What do you want, Rowan?”
"I wanted to make sure you were all right.” His voice was close enough that he must have been right outside the door.
"I’m fine,” I griped, trying without success to get a hair pick through my knotted hair. "You can go now.”
"If you’re fine, then why do you look like an extra in some B-rated horror movie?”
"That’s hilarious.” I managed to get my hair somewhat sensible and dabbed a little concealer under my eyes. This was about as good as it was going to get. No matter how hard he laughed at my clothing, I promised I wouldn’t let it bother me. I needed to keep the conversation short. Get him out of my room as soon as possible.
I opened the door with tension in my shoulders as if he’d already reacted.
Rowan was lying on my bed with his arms crossed behind his head. His leather boots were on the floor; his shirt was pulled up a tiny bit, exposing a slice of his toned stomach.
I will not be attracted to him. Nope, I refuse.
"I didn’t mean it that way. I only came here—” He took his time admiring my silly outfit. I was expecting him to laugh, but instead, he smiled proudly. It was cute.
"Yeah, I know. You wanted to make sure I’m okay, and I am, so you can return to wherever you came from.”
"Ouch.” He rolled onto his side, checking me out again. "I gotta say, I was feeling the robe, but there’s something about a girl in cartoon pajamas that does it for me.”
I felt the blush in my cheeks spread to the rest of my body as I desperately tried to hide how much his words excited me. I made my way over to the bedroom door, tapping my hand on the handle. "Did I mention everything is fine? You can leave.”
He smirked and sat up. "Simmer down, Jellybean.”
The pajamas were a mistake. "Don’t call me―”
"Easy now.” He held up his hands in defeat as he stood. "I didn’t mean to piss you off. I came here because I heard what happened.”
Again, sickness bloomed in my stomach. I guess the news had spread throughout the castle. No surprise that they thought I was a big joke. "Which part did you find the most entertaining? The part where they barely acknowledged my existence or when I choked on a table decoration?”
"I knew they wouldn’t be easy on you. The elders disapprove of halflings.” He watched me for a second as if weighing his next response. "But they’re still our best ally in the search for your father. You must keep trying. You can win them over. It will take some time.”
I pressed my back against the door, crossing my arms. "Time is the one thing I don’t have.”
Rowan put his hands in his jean pockets as he sauntered over to me. The color of his eyes had cooled to deep blue. It would’ve been easy to get lost in them. Our shoulders nearly touched as he leaned against the wall. I did my best to ignore the way my body ached to get even closer. "I believe the council will help us find Taron,” he said, “They need him as much as you do.”
I was taking my anger out on the wrong person. "I’m sorry for acting so bitchy when you got here. I’m just really worried, and I dumped it on you.”
The corner of his mouth curled, and it made me feel all squishy inside. "No apology needed. Your Dad’s missing, and the council isn’t helping. I get it.”
I shifted my stance until I faced him. He mirrored my movement. Our eyes locked, sending a tingle down my spine. Tonight, his scent was a mix of warm cinnamon and soap. "You told me Dad had helped you out of a bad situation. What happened?”
A chilly breeze blew through the curtains dimming the candlelight. I rubbed the sides of my arms.
His face was all shadows, which gave him a fearsome hue. For an uncomfortable few moments, he didn’t say a word. It was obvious he didn’t want to tell me. I was about to change the subject when he spoke. "I was brought to this castle badly injured, and Taron used his power to heal me. He could’ve let me die if he wanted, but he decided to save me. Afterward, he offered me asylum in his territory.”
The scars on his back flashed in my mind. I wanted to ask more questions about the injury and the asylum, but the fact that he had opened up made me afraid he would shut me out if I pushed too hard. "It’s a good thing Dad got to you in time.”
Rowan made his way over to the windowsill. As he stared out into the darkness, he said, "If it weren't for Marcus, he never would have.”
Was he a member of the air court? “Who’s Marcus?”
He paused for another long moment, then shifted his body in my direction. “My best friend.”
I couldn’t help being caught off guard by the mention of his best friend. Rowan said he was solitary. Didn’t that mean he was alone? “Where is Marcus now?”
In an instant, his face lost all emotion. Share time was over. “It’s been a long night for you,” he said softly. “I’ll let you get some rest.” Just as he was about to walk out the door, he glanced over his shoulder. “Goodnight, Jellybean.”
Chapter Thirteen
Kalin
Total suckage was the best way to describe the next day’s training session.
After many frustrating hours of morning meditation, I couldn’t hold onto my yellow aura. Nothing was working. The problems with the council and the impending ball weighed heavily on my mind. I
tried to concentrate on the salty air, gently wafting around us. Failed. The waves crashing against the white sand shore. Nope. No matter what I focused on, my thoughts lingered back to my never-ending list of problems.
By mid-afternoon, Rowan decided we needed to change gears. He wanted me to practice my air court powers. And to the shock of no one, I couldn’t ignite my magic. It didn’t help that each time I failed, Rowan’s lips pressed together into a thin line. Whatever he was thinking, he was working hard to resist saying it. I guess he didn’t want to add to the obvious misery. Finally, after many agonizing disappointments, I opened my eyes and gave up.
Rowan circled me while rubbing his hand over his stubble. "Maybe I’m going about this all wrong.”
"What do you mean?” I asked, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Keeping calm has always been the way I control my power, but yesterday, you were afraid. Your power awakened when you felt threatened.”
If he was planning to come after me with his sword, I wasn’t having any of that. "Fine, I’ll pretend I’m scared and see what happens.”
He flicked his wrist. In an instant, a baseball-sized ball of blue fire materialized. The damn thing was floating in a circular motion about an inch or so above his open palm. "No, your fear has to be real for this to work.”
I had a bad feeling I wasn’t going to like what happened next. I pointed at the fireball. "Are you going to tell me what you plan to do with that?”
He raised his eyebrows. "Nope.”
"Okay, I’m sufficiently scared.” I waved my hands in front of me. “See, no powers. Guess it didn’t work.”
He shot me one of his infamous smirks. "I used to think my powers would weaken after I denounced my throne.” As he spoke, the fireball in his hand grew. “But I’ve come to realize my connection to the element is as strong as ever.”
I was starting to wonder just how far he would take this. Would he attack me if he thought it would awaken my power? "Well, fire boy, I’m glad to see you’ve kept your mojo. Now, please extinguish the fire hazard so we can come up with a safer plan.”
“It doesn’t seem like fear is the answer.” He cupped both hands beneath the flame, and the fireball doubled in size. "Maybe it’s anger.”
"Keep talking, and you’re bound to piss me off in no time.” He edged toward me, and I backed up. "Stay away from me, Rowan.” I tried to sound stern, but my voice shook.
"Stop me,” he challenged. “Push me away like you did yesterday. Find your center and focus.” He took another step closer. "Come on, Jellybean. I know you can.”
My eyes narrowed. "I told you not to call me that.”
"Do something about it.” He waved the ball of flame so close to my head that I felt the sting against my ear. "What’s the matter, Princess? Am I too much for you to handle?” He bounced the ball between his hands. "I’m not surprised. I wasn’t expecting much from you anyway.”
Anger boiled in my chest. "You weren’t, huh?”
“Maybe the council was right,” he shrugged. “Maybe you don’t have power. Maybe your mortal mother lied, and you’re not King Taron’s daughter.”
Anger rippled through me in waves as my power surged. "I’ll show you what I can handle.”
Rowan chuckled.
Heat traveled down my arms, and a surge of energy burned at my fingertips. I pulled back and thrust my arms forward. The energy released. A gust of wind knocked us both backward, and I landed on my back in the sand. The gravel scraped against my skin. I tried to stand, but my arms and legs were as limp as a wet rag.
He grabbed me under my arms, pulling me to my feet. "You’re still using too much energy because you’re not keeping your emotions under control. This is why meditation is important. To master your power, you have to learn to quiet your mind.”
I wiggled my arms, trying to shake off the numbness. "Sure, Yoda. I’ll get right on that.”
Rowan rolled his eyes. "Be serious.”
I made a disgusted face, but I had to admit, I did lose my focus. "I’m trying, but I feel like I’m never going to be able to make this work. Like I’m doomed to fail on an epic level.”
"That’s not going to happen,” he insisted.
"You can’t predict—”
"We need to keep working.” He pointed to three pink seashells lying on top of a sand mound. "I want you to move them. Push them off the hill.”
They couldn’t have weighed much more than a feather. I rubbed my hands together. They ached from the last time I tried to use my power. I wanted to take a break, but there was a determined look on Rowan’s face. He wasn’t backing down, so I relented. "All right, fine.” I closed my eyes, envisioning the three shells flying off the hill. I held out my open hands, pointing in their direction. I felt a spark like a static shock.
"Open your eyes,” he whispered, sending a warm tingle down the side of my neck.
My eyes flickered open. I had to hold back from squealing and jumping. The mound was empty. The shells were lying close to the water’s edge. I had finally managed to do something right. "I did it!”
"Yes, you did,” he said, eyes searching the beach. “Now, let’s go for something a bit bigger.”
I twisted around, noticing a boulder bigger than both of us in the distance. I pointed to it. "I think I found something.”
“Pick something smaller. You’re not ready for that.”
"Oh, come on. We’re only days away from the ball, which means we’ve got to speed these lessons up.”
"This isn’t a good idea.”
"You know I’m gonna do it anyway.”
"Yeah, but I—”
I didn’t wait for him to finish. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths. My mind was dark except for a faint, blinking light that may or may not be yellow. It was too small to tell. Did that mean I had used too much power? I considered taking a break, but if I had used too much power, it wouldn’t work. So what’s the big deal in trying? I pictured the boulder, imagining it rolling toward the ocean.
I reached my hands out and motioned as if I was attempting to roll it.
An odd feeling settled between my shoulder blades. It was pressure like I had pulled a muscle—a massive muscle. I ignored it, keeping my focus on the boulder. Something changed suddenly. I was spinning, except I stood still. Dizzy, I fell to my knees. I was weakening. It was like my energy was being sucked right out of me.
With arms wrapped around my stomach, I groaned. Stars lined my vision, and I collapsed. The sand scratched against the side of my cheek.
"Kalin!” Rowan shouted.
Everything went black.
I heard a familiar voice, and I tried to open my eyes. My vision was hazy at first. I could tell someone stood over me, blocking a bright light. When I could see clearly, I saw Rowan leaning over me. His eyes were wild as he scanned my body. I’d never seen him look so panicked, and I began to worry. That’s when I realized my head was in his lap.
"Are you okay?” he asked.
When I tried to rub the side of my head, I noticed I was shivering. "What happened?”
Rowan pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. His body had to be twenty or so degrees hotter than anyone else I’d ever touched. It was like a winter coat that embraced me. "You passed out for a few seconds.”
"Did I move the boulder?”
He let out a hearty laugh. "You just woke up after knocking yourself out, and your first question is about a rock.” After a minute of the best cuddle session I’d ever had, he finally replied, “Yes, the boulder wobbled.”
All of this pain for a nudge. “Well, that sucks.”
“Maybe that doesn’t sound like much, but it was. You shouldn’t have attempted something like that. You’re lucky it didn’t drain you completely. A power surge like that could put you in a coma or worse.”
Every inch of my body ached. "I may not be in a coma, but I feel like I was run over by a herd of pissed-off elephants.”
He shook his head, releasing
his hold slightly. My head settled into the crook of his arm. Tenderly, he brushed the sand off the side of my face. His dark blue eyes bore into mine with a fervor I didn’t understand. I had to remind myself to breathe. Even after he removed the muck, he continued touching me. First, he followed my jawline with the tip of his finger. Then, he slowly traced my mouth.
I swallowed hard when he licked his lips. His eyelids were at half-mast as he leaned in closer. The anticipation had every nerve in my body sparking. He was going to kiss me. Did I want to be kissed? I tensed up for only a second, but it was enough to ignite a change in him. It was like watching someone wake up from a daydream. Before I knew it, he was moving me into a sitting position.
Dammit!
He was all business with his tone. "I warned you this might happen, but it seems to be impossible for you to follow my instructions.”
"I was listening.”
"Of course you were.” He moved farther away, staring out into the distance. The rejection was like being punched in the gut. "This seems like a good time to end our practice for the day.”
No, he couldn’t leave now. "I’m fine. We should keep going.” I stood on my own. Another wave of weakness flowed through me.
Then, everything went black again.
Chapter Fourteen
Rowan
This girl was going to be the end of me.
My arms had begun to burn by the time I reached the castle gates. Kalin hadn’t stirred once. Before I took her back to her bedroom, I tried to cover her face with my jacket. I wanted to get her inside without alerting the palace guard. That plan died the second I passed through the archway. The knights circled me within seconds. “Easy, now. Your princess is fine. She used too much power, and she needs to rest.”
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