“Honestly, no, not really. I’m sorry,” Sean held up his both hands, lost for words. His brain raced a million miles a minute as he scrambled to understand what she might need from him. “Explain it to me, Emma.”
She took a deep breath and he took her hand, looking at her face to make sure he had permission and that she wanted be touched. When she didn’t recoil, he held her closer.
“Talk to me.”
Emma nodded as the limo continued zipping them through the gorgeous tropical landscape, and he could see that she was blinking back tears. God, he hated feeling helpless.
“I need to know if you want kids, Sean.”
The question hit him like an eighteen-wheeler and his mind reeled as he processed her words. In reality, he supposed he should have seen this coming. But he had been blind.
He shook his head, still filtering all the answers through his thoughts as Emma waited in front of him, sniffling, so small and fragile.
“I need to know, Sean,” she said. “Don’t you see? We can’t start this again with unanswered questions on our plate, not after it’s been such a wait to get things right between us. If there’s something that’s going to hold us back now, I need to know before I fall for you…before I fall deeper for you. Because, let’s be honest, I’ve been falling for you for weeks now. The last thing we need is a failed trial and a broken heart.
“I know we just started this thing, picked it up where we left off. I know marriage and kids are probably the last thing on your mind, but you know my condition and you know the likelihood of what will come out of it…so can you still be with me if I can’t have children? If your method doesn’t work or I decide not to try again, will that be a deal-breaker for you?”
She sobbed, then, no longer able to hold back the tears flowing down her cheeks, and he gathered her up in his arms, not caring if the driver saw anything. Emma was muttering things, but nothing that he could make out in between her bitter tears and his small soothing noises as he rubbed her back. It was only natural for her to have these questions, he knew, but this was the last type of conversation that he would have expected to have right off the bat.
“I understand,” he soothed, clearing his throat as his hand worked slow circles on her back. “Now you have to understand, Emma, that I’ve wanted you from the very start. Since the first time I saw you on that canoe, laughing with your friends in the ocean. You didn’t even know about me yet, but I saw you and the whole world shifted in perspective. No matter what form things take, babies or no babies, you’re what’s most important to me. Our relationship, building whatever is to come between us, that’s what matters.”
Emma nodded, still crying as she pressed her head even harder into his neck, gripping his shirt.
Sean couldn’t bear it.
“But all of this is a moot point, sweetheart,” he said. “The treatment will work, the second time will work. You will be a mother. I’ll do everything in my power to see that it plays out that way.”
“And…you orchestrated the study… If anyone…could do it…” Emma spoke through short, choppy breaths.
“That’s right. And I will. You’ll see, you won’t have to be sad like this forever, Emma. You’re a difficult case, but far from impossible.”
“So, we’re okay? We’re not going into this with our eyes closed and you won’t come to resent me down the line?”
“No, everything is absolutely fine between us. If anything, we’ve gotten stronger because you’ve communicated one of your biggest fears out loud to me. That’s no small thing, sweetheart.”
“Thank you for saying that,” she hiccuped. She looked up at him, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. “Christ, I’m just so…tired.”
“Well, that’s what this vacation is for, darling. A couple drinks, lying around in the sun, and a massage will probably go a long way toward mending what’s broken.”
“It’s a start.” Emma self-consciously wiped her cheeks and face, with a wavering smile. “God, I’m such a mess.”
“A gorgeous mess.”
Before she could argue with him, Sean leaned in and stole a kiss, lingering and sweet, as thoughts of the future—after the trial—filled his head.
He hadn’t thought about his future in a long time. For years, the idea of making medical history had trumped everything else. But now, with Emma back in his life, knowing she felt so deeply for him, things were shifting again. They had both been playing it by ear, given the fact that she was still a patient up until the first trial failed. If she went for another one, there was no telling what would have to change between them.
“Now you look worried and deep in thought,” Emma observed, her voice still stuffed up from her crying. “What’s going on, Sean?”
“Sir, Madam? We have arrived,” the chauffeur chimed in from the front of the car.
Emma scrambled from Sean’s lap. Almost as if she had forgotten they had a driver and that the divider hadn’t been up while they were driving. If Sean had cared, he would have put it up. But aside from Emma’s comfort level, nothing much had registered beyond needing to help her feel better. Now they both shared a look as the driver came around the side of the car and opened her door.
“Would you like a hand, ma’am?”
He watched her take the other man’s hand and got his own door, stepping onto the asphalt, the heat of which he could feel radiating through his shoes. It was much hotter at the resort than where their plane had landed.
He quickly crossed behind the car and took Emma’s elbow, guiding her into the luxury resort he had booked for the next two weeks.
“I hope you approve,” he said, already knowing the answer as Emma’s mouth dropped open and she stared in awe at the Grecian columns dominating the front of the building. He walked her into a sumptuous lobby decorated in sea-glass blue, green, and gilt gold. “They had a last-minute cancellation and I was able to get a villa for our stay. Does that sound good to you?”
Emma nodded wordlessly, taking in the ornate details of the fresco painting on the ceiling as well as the furniture spread around the huge space. Her eyes were like saucers as he led her to the reception desk and the hostess handed them their keys.
“Everything should be as you requested, Mr. Fisher. Your surprise is set for seven o’clock, as you wished.”
“Surprise?” Emma’s eyebrows shot up and she turned to him. “This is enough of a surprise, don’t you think?”
“Are you complaining?” He laughed as they walked over to the elevator embankments. “I can cancel if you can’t take any more. That’s no prob—”
“Oh, shut up.” She rolled her eyes and dragged him down using his shirt to kiss him. “This is lovely. Don’t stop any of it.”
“What can I say, I’m like a magician. I can’t help pulling tricks.” He winked, knowing the line was off-the-wall cheesy.
“Oh, come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Emma smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. “For that, I don’t know if we can associate with each other anymore.”
“I hate to break it to you, darling, but that’s going to make the next two weeks awfully hard for you.”
Chapter 21
Emma
After her unfortunate wobble in the car, all Emma wanted to do was relax in the sun and not think for a good long while. As Sean stepped up behind her on their ocean-view balcony, gently wrapping his arms around her waist, she allowed herself to think for a couple minutes that she might actually be happy. This could be it.
The idea of finding a life outside of work, of finding someone so special to fill her days, was both frightening and gratifying in all the right ways. For so long she had been convinced that she was happy. Doing everything in her power to climb to the top, to scale any obstacle that came her way without any time for stopping and looking around to where she had come from—but all that was shifting with Sean.
“Hi,” she spoke softly, leaning back into him as he cradled her from behind. “What were you doing?”
“Exploring the place. Did you see we have our own Jacuzzi and sauna? I plan on putting that to good use tonight after your surprise.”
His low laugh filled her ear as he nibbled her tender lobe, sending goosebumps all up and down her body.
She turned slightly to look up at him. “We should probably get going, right?”
“We should. Are you ready to go?”
“Do I need to change or anything?”
“No, you look exactly like you should, relaxed and happy.”
Emma smiled as he turned her around in his arms, looking down seriously into her upturned face. His intensity seemed to dig deep into her soul, but for what? She wasn’t entirely sure before he kissed her nose and she laughed up at him.
“You know, one of the most surprising things about you is that you’re so silly. I didn’t expect that at all.”
“What? You thought a brooding heir to a giant fortune was all I was? Who knew I needed a charming, intelligent and gorgeous princess to save me from myself.”
“Don’t forget successful,” Emma teased.
“Oh, I could never dare.” He smirked and licked his lips.
“Then I’m ready for my surprise.”
“Excellent. Follow me, madam.”
Emma was quite literally in the dark the entire car ride to their secret location because Sean had insisted on blindfolding her before she even got into the limo again. Although she’d protested a bit, he eventually got his way. Now she was seated next to him, clutching his hand over every small bump and lurch in the road before the limo rolled to a smooth stop and she felt the ignition shut off.
“Can I take this thing off yet?”
“No, not until I take it off you.” Sean was grinning, clearly loving his idea coming to life before his eyes.
“Stop smiling at me,” Emma griped, only half-serious.
“How can you tell I’m smiling? Do I need to tighten the blindfold?”
“No, tighten it any more and you’ll cut off the oxygen to my brain. I knew because I know that tone of voice—you always use it when you’re smiling. Your voice goes down a little bit at the end of a sentence, deeper, and you smile.”
“You know so much about me in such a short time, do you?”
“I’m just intuitive is all,” she said as he lightly squeezed her hand and placed it in her lap. “Wait, where are you going? You can’t leave me here.”
“I’m coming around to open your door and take you to your surprise.”
Emma took a deep breath and prayed for patience. The car ride alone had seemed to take forever and she had no idea where they were now, thanks to having no knowledge of the area. So she was forced to sit pretty, completely at his mercy. Boy, being out of control really wasn’t her forte at all.
She nibbled lightly on her lower lip before she heard the passenger-side door disengage and Sean’s voice in her ear, telling her to take his hand again.
Each step out of the car and beyond was an act of blind faith. Sean led her slowly and confidently down what she knew must be wooden boards, but other than that she was clueless.
“You have to take your shoes off now. Can I do that for you?”
“Sean, they’re flip-flops. I think I can handle it.” She laughed, enjoying his protective nature shining through as she slid out of her shoes.
The boards were cool and slightly rough beneath her feet, a clear indicator of where they were.
“Okay, up you go.”
She only got the chance to cry out before he had gathered her up in his arms and carried them both over the threshold of what could only be a boat before putting her back on her feet. Unable to tell if the deck was rocking or if her legs were still wobbly from surprise, Emma leaned lightly on Sean as he continued leading the way forward.
“This isn’t much of a surprise anymore, you know,” she said with a grin. “I know we’re on a boat of some kind, so the blindfold can come off without ruining much.”
“If that’s what you think, you think wrong. And you’re not doing a very good job of convincing me to take it off early.”
She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat as Sean suddenly brought them to a stop and stepped behind her, his hands lightly resting on the blindfold’s ties. What was he waiting for?
Anticipation heightened Emma’s senses. The salt of the ocean air, the light rocking of the deck, heavy rope creaking, and the slightly chill, damp breeze hitting her cheeks. Picking each one out individually forced her to center herself, to remember the last time she was on a boat with him. Suddenly, the memory floated behind her eyes as easily as if it were yesterday. As if her brain had only been waiting for permission to unlock what she had kept hidden between them for so long.
“Do you know I tried to look you up once?” he asked, his fingers toying lightly with the ties of the blindfold. “I was drunk off my ass and spent hours combing through social media trying to find you. That must have been, what, seven or eight years ago now?”
“It took you that long? Two or three years?” Emma laughed, tilting her head to one side. “Why didn’t you hire someone to do it?”
“Truthfully, when I was sober, I didn’t know that I wanted to know the real truth. If you were out there and happy with someone else, then I wanted to keep you as you were in my mind. Out there and happy with me, on a boat, for one night.”
Her heart ached for the sincerity of his answer.
“But what if you had found me? As I am now, unattached. Don’t you think we could have had longer together? All of this could have been started sooner.”
There was silence. Unable to see his face, Emma could only wonder if she had said the wrong thing.
“I wouldn’t have been ready for you,” he said after a moment. “I wouldn’t have been the same man I am now if I had found you and you probably wouldn’t have wanted me. I spent the vast majority of my time at the clinic and if we had tried this then? Honestly, I probably would have screwed it up with my work schedule. No one wants someone in their life that is never there for them, and that’s the guy I would have been.”
Emma digested his answer before his fingers rubbed lightly at the nape of her neck.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes, please take this thing off me.”
“Very well,” he breathed and she sensed his fingers undoing the knots behind her head. “There. Open your eyes and see your surprise.”
She blinked a few times, adjusting to the light and the rush of color. Although it was night, twinkle lights were strewn up everywhere—
“No, you didn’t… Sean.” Emma put her hands to her mouth, unable to believe that he had recreated their entire first date all across the deck of the boat.
She strode over to the table and examined all the foods. Every single detail, right down to the brand of champagne they had enjoyed that night, was on point. How could he have possibly remembered such a thing all these years later?
When she turned to him, he wore a sheepish but delighted smile on his face.
“Do you like it?”
“Are you out of your mind? I more than like it, it’s…the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me or will ever do for me in this lifetime.”
Emma was like a kid in a candy store, half-skipping as she darted around, taking in every last detail of the scene on the deck. Truly, almost nothing had changed about it.
“I wanted us to be able to do it right this time,” Sean said. “To replace the sour memory I gave you ten years ago, as a way to make up for my stupidity. Is that fair?”
He had followed behind her as she explored the boat and now she went to him, going up on tiptoes to take his lips in a gentle, appreciative kiss. She allowed her body to speak for her so that he would know exactly what his gesture had meant to her. By the time she pulled away, Sean was backed against the guardrail and they were both breathing heavily.
“Careful, you’ll make us miss dinner if you keep that up.” Sean winked and went in for another qui
ck kiss before pulling away and walking to the table, where he pulled out her chair. “My lady.”
“So gentlemanly of you. Some things haven’t changed, I see.”
The next few hours were a whirlwind of talking, laughing, teasing, and flirting as they ate their meal and got to know each other all over again. Emma even confided in him her love of comic books—a move that turned out to be a mistake.
“You’re joking,” Sean said, his face a picture of disbelief. “I never would have pegged you for a secret nerd.”
“Hey!” Emma licked delicious homemade ice cream off her spoon and fought the urge to throw it at him.
She didn’t, but the idea of his face covered with strawberry ice cream made her laugh so hard she almost fell out of her chair, while Sean tried to figure out what was so funny in the first place. By the time she could stop laughing enough to tell him, he had had the same idea—only he didn’t waste his shot.
The cool, drippy mess hit her in the forehead and glided down her nose in a sweet-smelling rivulet as shock saturated her system.
“Strawberry really is your color, sweetheart,” Sean said with a grin. “Do you need me to mop that up for you?
Emma took a breath. She knew Sean had no idea what he had just courted—but he was about to find out.
“No, thank you,” she said primly before wiping the blob off with a napkin, before cringing at the sticky feeling it left behind. “But what I do need, is for us to take this to the bedroom.”
Without hesitating, she picked up her almost-full bowl of ice cream and started walking toward the inside cabin. Halfway there, she turned around and looked at him over her shoulder, her hip half-cocked with a teasing, promising smile.
“Are you coming or not?”
He sat up in his chair, suddenly focused.
Yeah, she knew that would get his attention. What was going to be even better was what she did with the ice cream once she got him into the bedroom, all nice and laid out, blindfolded, with complete trust.
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