“You have a great little place here,” Finn said, his head pivoting back and forth, his gaze taking in the whole cafe.
Trinity wondered what it looked like in his eyes. It had been the first floor of a residential house. One side of the large front room had square wooden four-seater tables, each topped with a vase of whatever flower was in season—orange mums and alstroemeria right now. The other side of the room had homey antique sofas and club chairs next to low coffee tables filled with magazines and books. A local artist’s paintings hung on one wall, a working fireplace with a mirror over the mantel on the other, chalkboard menus and goofy signs with sayings throughout. The counter area of course was crowded with the paraphernalia of making and serving their specialty coffees and teas, plus a glass case with baked goods.
“How do you like your coffee?” Trinity asked. “Cappuccino, Macchiato, Americano? Or would you prefer chai or tea?”
“I’ll have plain old American coffee,” he said.
Caroline showed up at their table. She was a full-bodied woman, her hair clipped at her chin, tats on her arms, piercings in her nose, lip and ears. “I’ll fill the order so you can visit with your friend.”
“Thanks.” Trinity gave her a grateful look.
“Trinity told me you two used to be best buds as kids and you met when you were, like, six years old,” Caroline said to Finn.
“Yep,” Finn said, with a nod and a grin. “I was super excited when a ‘boy’ my age moved in next door.”
“What?” Caroline squinted at Trinity, who smirked.
“My mom used to cut my unruly hair really short.” She ran a hand over her short, russet cherub-like curls. “Between that and my scrufty jeans and sneakers, Finn thought I was a boy when he came running over to my backyard to introduce himself. When I told him I wasn’t, he was so disappointed I had to pull out the stops and do damage control to prove myself.”
Finn laughed. “And did she ever. Demonstrating an array of wicked skateboard tricks, then monkey-climbing a huge oak tree. Naming a whole catalogue of characters from Harry Potter. Tying a sailor’s knot. Endless feats. By the time she was done, I decided it was okay that Trinity was a girl because she was the smartest, neatest, coolest person I’d ever met.”
Caroline barked a laugh. “I can just picture Trin doing all that, working her butt off to convince you.”
“Hey, it worked,” Finn said. “I still think she is the smartest, neatest, coolest person I’ve ever met.” He gave Trinity a look she could not quite interpret. Friendship? Definitely. Affection? Probably. Flirtation? Not sure.
“So, which coffee do you want in your Americano?” Trinity said, worried her friend might take the conversation somewhere awkward. The two women had watched Dance Time together a few times and Trinity had told Caroline that Finn was the object of her long-suffering unrequited love. He’d always seen her as a friend first and a girl second, and she had been thankful for it—until she turned fifteen and wanted him to see her as more than a friend. When he couldn’t jump that bridge, she had dumped him like a rock, leaving him behind as she claimed her stardom as high school queen, then on the stage of the fashion world. A move she now regretted.
“We’ve got an amazing house blend that is smooth Guatemalan,” Caroline said.
Finn nodded. “Sounds good.”
“How about a sandwich?” Caroline asked.
“No, thanks, I ate a late lunch.”
“Come on, Finn. It’s on us,” Caroline said. “At least have an almond croissant? They are the best.”
Trinity looked up at Caroline. “He’s a cookie man. Bring an assortment on a platter. Especially the new ones my mom made.”
“Will do,” Caroline said, turning away.
“So you keep your mom busy supplying cookies, huh?” Finn said.
“We do. She told me she made you pumpkin peanut butter cookies for Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah. I can’t believe she remembered my favorite. I confess I got out of bed last night and went to the kitchen and polished off the whole tin.”
Trinity forced a smile, trying really hard not to picture Finn in bed.
Or slinking into the kitchen in pajama bottoms hanging low on his narrow hips, his muscular chest bare.
Or maybe he was in boxer shorts.
Or naked.
Stop.
She cleared her throat. “I sell Mom’s pumpkin peanut butter cookies, her chocolate coconut, her oatmeal date, and a butterscotch peach that you will go nuts for.”
“Your mother is so creative. I haven’t visited her yet. I thanked her by phone because I had to leave my parents’ house before she got home from dinner at your brother’s last night.”
Caroline returned with their coffees and set the platter of assorted cookies on the table.
“Whoa. Cookie heaven,” Finn said. He looked up at her. “You want to sit down with us and have some?”
“No, thanks,” Caroline said. “But I do have a question for you. Trinity told me she is the reason you started dancing. Is that true?”
“Actually, it was her father,” Finn said with that boyish grin of his.
Trinity tsked. “I was fourteen and my dad couldn’t pick me up from my ballet class one night. He didn’t want me riding my bike alone in the dark, and since Finn and I did most everything together anyway, he asked him if he would ride his bike next to me to and from the dance academy and keep me safe. I wanted Finn to go do something else while I was in class, but no, he had to stand there at the doorway and watch, which made me really nervous so I kept messing up steps.”
Finn mugged a face. “Sure. Blame it on me.”
Trinity pursed her lips. “Then he started doing the steps himself in the hallway just outside the door, wanting to show me up, since we competed all the time.”
“That is not true and you know it. I had never seen a ballet class before and found it interesting, so I wanted to try doing the stuff.”
“Yeah, right.”
He looked up at Caroline. “I used to do tumbling in gymnastics and it was so similar I couldn’t resist.”
“Well,” Trinity said, “the teacher saw him dancing outside the door and pretty soon she was watching him more than the kids in class. So, what does she do? She invites him in. And the rest, as they say, is history.”
“That is a great story,” Caroline said. Some customers came in and Trinity started to get up. “It’s okay, Trin. I got it. Take your time with your friend.”
As soon as she left, Finn said, “How come you quit modeling? I heard you were getting some major contracts, working for some big houses, living it up in Paris and Rome…”
“Geeze, Finn, we’ve barely said hello, but you never were one for small talk.”
He shrugged. “A friend of mine passed away a month ago and at my last visit with him he said, ‘Be mindful of how you spend your days because none of us ever knows how many we’ve got left.’”
“Was it that Broadway choreographer, Wayne Rupert, the one who picked you for your first show? I read he recently died.”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“And, no, he was not my lover. Just a mentor and good friend.”
Trinity felt her cheeks go pink. Finn had always been able to read her thoughts so easily.
Ironically, when they were alone again, Trinity clammed up as if she were with a stranger. She hadn’t seen Finn—except on TV—in about six years. Was he still the same person she had known back then? Heck, was she the same person? Not even close. And she wasn’t sure if she wanted Finn to know about the other person she had become until she worked some things out.
Before he could go back to the question she was not ready to answer, Trinity said, “I heard you are here to do a special guest performance for Casey’s holiday fundraiser?”
“Yeah, I should have done it sooner, but I had work commitments every year before. I owe her. Remember when she found out my parents wouldn’t pay for classes and that my fath
er had a fit over me being in a dance studio? Casey was so kind to me. Her school ended up being more of a home to me than my parents’ house.”
“You never paid a cent for classes all those years, did you?”
“Nope. And the pretend jobs I was supposedly doing for my scholarships were nothing compared to what I had to do at home or at that moving company I worked for during high school.” He took a bite of a cookie and made a sound so sexy Trinity had to look away from his beautiful mouth. “This is great. I suppose some of these are also from local bakers you work with?”
“Yeah, I use as many local vendors as possible. Local farm produce for the breakfasts we serve and we have a refrigerator section with local cheeses and yogurts. Back to my roots and digging in to stay.” Oops. That would no doubt inspire him to ask about her career change again, so she went on with, “How was Thanksgiving with your dad and all?”
He shook his head. “Awkward. Tense. I’ll be staying here a month and I’m hoping by the time I leave I’ll get my father to at least do more than growl at me.”
“He is so unfair.”
“I don’t agree with him, but I understand. He’s been a building tradesman his whole life, and that’s a world that is dominated by men. He was raised by a father who had to struggle for every dime and didn’t believe in sparing his children from the harsh realities of life. Even though my father was verbally and physically rough on me and my brothers, he never crossed over the line into abuse, and for that I am thankful. So I guess I keep holding on to the possibility that he might someday…love me enough to move out of his comfort zone.”
Trinity fixed her gaze on Finn and that part of her that had always wanted to be at his side every minute of the day came surging forward. “You’re one of a kind, Finn.”
His warm brown eyes met hers. “So are you, Trin.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. One of the things I learned over the past few years is that I am quite ordinary.”
“Everyone is ordinary from a certain perspective. Except maybe deviant serial killers.”
Trinity snorted a laugh. “You are so philosophical.”
“Not really. Being ordinary is how we get through our day to day lives.”
“You know what I mean. I used to act like I was such a big deal.”
“Hey, I’ve thought you were awesome since we were six years old. That’s why I came to see you. I’ll be here for a month. Let’s try to be friends again. Whaddya say?”
Friends. God forbid he’d ever ask her on a date. Trinity almost answered with a wisecrack. But her sarcasm and games had screwed things up when she was a teen and only resulted in losing him. This was probably her last chance to see if there was any truth in her crazy notion that he was the only man who was right for her.
“Okay. We used to do so many fun things at the Christmas season. Maybe we can—”
“Trinity! What’s up, babe?” a deep voice called out as the bells jingled over the opened cafe door. “You said you were gonna meet me at the club at six thirty.”
Oh no. She had forgotten about agreeing to meet with Ray to talk about the food concessions in the upcoming North Cove holiday bazaar. “Sorry, I forgot—”
“Hey, I remember you,” Ray said, pointing to Finn. “You’re the ballerina dude.”
Wait a sec. Had Ray been one of that group of guys in their high school that used to corner Finn and shove him around, teasing him about his dancing?
Finn’s look of suppressed fury said it all. “Yeah, that’s right.” He stood and Trinity enjoyed the fact that the twenty-five-year-old Finn was a lot bigger and broader and more confident than the wiry sixteen-year-old he had been. Not that one guy could ever have much of a chance against four or five. But at least he dwarfed Ray now. “Excuse me, I’m on my way to a meeting with a room full of gorgeous female dancers,” Finn said.
Oboy. Somebody’s pissed. Trinity was about to launch into a mini speech about Finn’s accomplishments, but Finn gave her a curt nod—was that a look of disgust in his eyes?—and he was out the door before she could utter a word.
Her heart dropped and she almost wanted to run after him. He probably thought she was dating Ray. Yeah, she had gone out with Ray in high school, but she had been a total immature asshole then.
And judging by the smirk Finn gave her before he left, he thought she still was.
* * *
“Is Ray gone? Finally?” Caroline asked as Trinity walked into the apartment they shared above the cafe. She was sitting on the sofa with Nellie on her lap.
“Yeah. That was why I originally made the meeting elsewhere. I knew he would want to hang out forever, but once he was here I figured we might as well just sit down with some coffee and get it done.” Trinity flopped into an old rocking chair she had found at a garage sale last summer and toed off her shoes, gazing around at the cozy living room that had once been a master bedroom. She had hired Finn’s brother to make one of the four upstairs bedrooms into a small kitchen, leaving the remaining two bedrooms for Caroline and herself. Brina had a house in Jamesport.
“I suppose he was hitting on you the whole time,” Caroline said, her tone dry.
“Of course. But I am a top notch deflector.” Trinity pulled her phone from her pocket and checked for messages or texts. “Nothing.” She sighed. “When I went to the cafe kitchen to get Ray’s coffee, I called Finn’s mother to get his mobile number and sent him a text asking him to call me. Of course my phone never rang. After an hour of bickering over stupid details with Ray, I excused myself to the ladies’ room and called Finn again, this time leaving a voice mail telling him the only reason I was meeting with Ray was because we’re co-chairmen of the Christmas bazaar.”
Nellie woke up and stretched, then decided to try Trinity’s lap for a while. Caroline flicked off the TV and said, “I don’t know why you volunteer for all this work in the community. Is it guilt for your wild years?”
“I think after running around the globe with the uber-rich crowd, I crave the down-to-earth small town activities of my childhood.”
“Ray Atkins is down to earth? Gimme a break.”
Trinity chuckled. “Ray is not, but the Christmas bazaar is. That’s where I get my reward for putting in time with Ray.”
“I can’t believe you actually dated him.” She grimaced.
“I can’t either. But he was one of the big athletes and popular guys in our high school and I was a stupid teen wanting all the attention I could get.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “Do you think Finn will believe my voice mail? He obviously assumed I’m dating Ray again.”
“Who knows? He sure took off in a huff.”
“He didn’t even give me a chance to explain. But I had no way of knowing Finn would come here. Or that Ray would come barreling in.”
“The good part is that Finn must want more than friendship if he got so bent over Ray showing up.”
“Not necessarily. There’s old resentment between them. Ray hung with a group of obnoxious guys who used to gang up on Finn and razz him or beat on him.”
“What a sleaze. Did you know that when you went out with Ray?”
“Sort of. But I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I was too focused on my own peer status and soaking up the flattery of being one of the girls they all wanted to go out with.”
“Geeze. Who are you, woman? And what are you doing with me? I was a total outcast and geek where I grew up in New Jersey.”
“I guess that is one of my problems, Caroline. I don’t know who the hell I am. I think that’s one reason I want to try to reconnect with Finn. He knew the real me. He grounded me. He was like home base for me.”
“And the other reason?” Caroline wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yeah,” she breathed out. “He is smokin’ hot. And he wears it with such modest grace. I have been going out with swaggerers since I first started dating and I am sick to death of them.”
“Why did you choose them over Finn?”
One side of
her mouth quirked. “At first I didn’t. When I hit puberty, my fantasies about Finn shifted from the two of us manning a rocket ship together to…our wedding.” Trinity let out a small laugh. “I just assumed his head would go there too. That it was a given we were an item forever and ever. I kept waiting for him to hold my hand or kiss me, but he didn’t. Instead he got shy and standoffish in a way he’d never been with me before.
“The summer between eighth and ninth grade I used to keep him out late just talking in the dark at a park we always went to. I would sit really close to him and give every sign possible. I would have initiated a kiss myself, but I was terrified of his rejection. I couldn’t figure out if he was gay or if he just didn’t feel any romantic attraction to me. Either way, he wasn’t mine and it upset me.”
“You never came out and told him what you felt?”
Trinity shook her head. “No. I would never do that. Aside from humiliating myself, it could have ended our friendship, and I would never have risked that.”
“But it sounds like it did end anyway, right?”
“Kind of. It was Labor Day and there was this outdoor concert where you sit on blankets under the stars. It seemed like the perfect scenario, so I asked Finn to meet me there. Well, Finn showed up with a friend from the dance academy. A girl.”
“Oh, how horrible.”
“When I look back on it now, I think he was just scared and unsure of himself. I didn’t realize back then that girls mature faster than boys. Or that people have issues that make them act against what they really want. His dad had always treated him like the bottom of the barrel, and since Finn had started dancing at that time, there was constant tension in his home life. So the confidence he’d had in our play world when we were younger just plain dissolved.”
“That wasn’t the guy I met today.”
“No,” Trinity said. “I’m so glad things worked out the way they did. Back then Finn had a rough time in high school, but I thrived. Cheerleading, parties, vice president of my class, homecoming queen…”
“Did I hear a customer say you were also some kind of strawberry festival queen?”
Finn's Christmas Dilemma (Holiday Hunks Book 3) Page 2