by Jenna Mindel
Monica clapped and so did the boys.
He turned off the burners and fetched milk, maple syrup and a dish of butter, which he then placed on the island before serving the pancakes.
Monica helped Owen with the syrup, happy to see that it was from her parents’ sugar shack. Then she filled his glass with milk, while Cash helped Ethan. Their gazes met over the boys’ heads and held. She read the message he sent loud and clear.
He wanted her to stay.
Tempted, Monica looked away.
Everyone quieted as they ate, digging into the fluffy cakes dotted with melted, gooey chocolate.
Monica broke the silence. “These are really good.”
“Want more?”
“No. Thanks.” She patted her midsection. He’d made four large pancakes each for them and four smaller ones for the boys. She’d gotten her fill and then some.
“How about you, Ethan? Owen?”
Both boys shook their heads, their mouths full. Owen had chocolate smeared on one chubby cheek.
After Ethan downed his last bite, followed by a long gulp of milk, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “What are we going to do today?”
Again Cash glanced her way. “Well, I was thinking of taking the side-by-sides out for a spin.”
Ethan looked confused.
“Four-wheelers, UTVs—whatever you want to call them.”
“Really?” The boy’s golden eyes gleamed as he turned to Monica. “Are you going with us?”
Torn, she remained silent.
“Monica?” Cash’s gray eyes coaxed her before he turned to the five-year-old. “How ’bout you, Owen? Want to go four-wheeling?”
Owen nodded, even though he didn’t look like he understood what that meant. The little boy slipped his hand into hers and tugged.
Monica knew what the kid was trying to do and her resolve to leave shredded. Glancing at the three of them waiting for an answer, she felt her heart pounding a little harder.
She wanted to stay, oh, how she wanted to, but... Rationalization came quickly. What was one weekend? She needed some fun—hadn’t her mother said so? She’d stay today and tonight and then leave tomorrow morning. No big deal. As long as she kept her cool and her heart safe, it’d be fine.
Taking a deep breath and letting it back out with a loud whoosh that made the boys laugh, Monica officially caved in. “Okay, I’ll stay on one condition.”
Three pairs of male eyes narrowed.
Monica nearly burst out laughing at the wary expression they had in common.
Cash and his nephews certainly looked related. Like family.
“And the condition is?” Cash asked.
“We color when we get back.”
He looked completely confused. “Color?”
“Paper and crayons or colored pencils.” In her internet search for tips to help grieving kids, she’d found a couple drawing exercises to try. It was one way of getting them to express their feelings and start the conversation by letting some of that grief out on paper. It might help.
If she was going to stay, she was going to help them, including Cash. Especially Cash.
“Okay, we can color, right, boys?” Cash nodded.
“Right,” Ethan agreed.
Owen simply nodded.
“Okay, then I’ll stay.” Monica grinned.
The boys cheered and Cash gave her a grateful smile.
It felt good to please them, but it would feel even better to help them. Really help. She hoped this coloring exercise would do that. She also hoped it didn’t backfire on her, because she had some grief of her own to deal with.
Chapter Four
After the dishes were done and the kitchen cleaned, Cash clapped his hands. “Okay, boys, let’s get ready to ride. Long pants and long sleeves.”
He watched the two scurry away to get dressed, making as much noise as possible—pretty amazing considering Owen didn’t speak. But he stomped. Cash glanced at Monica, who was still ruminating over a cup of coffee. Her eyes had a faraway look and were sort of glazed over. “You okay?”
She snapped back to the present. “Yeah, why?”
He narrowed his gaze. “You were miles away just now.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea, with the boys on the side-by-sides? Owen is so young.”
“Your uncle has a bump seat for young kids. I already installed it.”
Monica didn’t quite look convinced. “What about Ethan?”
“I think he’s big enough to be buckled in the passenger seat. He’s pretty tall for an eight-year-old.”
“He must get that from his mother’s side.” Monica peeked over the rim of her cup.
Cash liked the teasing glint in her eyes. This was his Monica, the one he remembered well. Wait—since when had he started thinking of her as his? He mentally pushed aside possessive thoughts that could only lead to trouble, and grinned. “We can’t all be storks.”
The mischievous look remained in her eyes as she took her last sip of coffee, got up and put her mug in the sink. “Low-to-the-ground birds are important, too.”
He laughed outright at her jab about his shorter stature. “You wound me.”
“I highly doubt it.” She stood. “I’m going to go change.”
“Hmm, too bad.”
She turned on him. “Why?”
“I like those Detroit Lions pj’s.” He winked and enjoyed the rash of color that spread up her neck to her cheeks.
She rallied, snapping sarcastically, “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“Nope, just you.” Cash realized the minute he said it that he was serious. Sure, he’d had his share of flirtations and the like, but there’d always been something special about Monica. Something different, but also scary as if staring over the edge of a steep cliff.
The air turned heavy with awareness as they stood staring at each other for a few beats of the heart. The boys chose that moment to run back into the living room, chasing each other. Owen had his brother’s shoe.
“Give it back,” Ethan yelled.
Owen squealed and kept running.
Cash caught the little redhead. “Whoa, give him his tennis shoe.”
Owen shook his head and pointed at his brother.
Cash tried to figure out what Ethan had taken from Owen to start the feud, but came up empty. He spotted Monica slipping upstairs, and closed his eyes for a brief second. He needed to clear his mind from the sticky cobwebs of connection that she’d spun. Focusing back on the boys, he called his nephews to order, using his military voice. The one that broached no argument. “Cool it. Both of you.”
That got their attention. Owen dropped the shoe and Ethan’s eyes widened.
More quietly, Cash said, “Let’s get shoes on or we don’t have to go.”
Ethan looked like he was weighing his options, maybe even wondering if Cash would follow through on that threat to stay home. After a moment’s consideration, he yelled, “But it’s his fault.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll take care of Owen.” At the look of pure frustration on Ethan’s face, Cash softened. “Go on. Get ready.”
In a huff, Ethan bent to pick up his tennis shoe, then ran back to his room.
When they were alone, Cash bent down on one knee so he was closer to eye level with Owen. “Why’d you take your brother’s shoe?”
The little boy shook his head. He wasn’t giving up anything.
Cash blew out his breath. “Finish getting ready.”
Owen didn’t move, but pointed to the loft.
Cash smiled. “Monica is going with us.”
Owen gave him a telling look.
“You want to ride with her?”
He nodded.
Cash chuckled. “Of course, Owen. No sweat. Go get your shoes on.”
The little boy tore into his room.
Cash heard Ethan ask Owen why he’d gotten him in trouble, but the question was met with silence. Cash shook his head. Those two boys were like him and their father at that age—always arguing, but also close.
Already dressed himself, Cash fetched a light windbreaker and made sure the boys each had theirs. Then he waited for Monica.
* * *
Monica leaned against the upstairs bathroom door. Her racing pulse was finally slowing down to normal. These prickly feelings were no joke. Cash made her want things she couldn’t have, things she might never be able to have.
Closing her eyes to keep the sudden tears at bay, Monica blew out her breath. All this drama was ridiculous. She was emotionally vulnerable, overreactive, and Cash was simply being his usual caring self. That was all. Surely, his feelings didn’t run any deeper than any longtime friend.
“Hey, you going to take all day or what?” His voice carried up from below.
She tamped down the sudden irritation his impatience roused and tried for a civil response. “Hold your horses.”
“Daylight is burning.”
Ha! So much for his caring self.
“Give me a few minutes.” Rolling her eyes, she entered the bathroom.
Quickly, she brushed her teeth, then secured her hair in a long ponytail before changing into jeans. Applying a swipe of peach-colored lip balm, she looked in the mirror and crinkled her nose. Definitely not her best look by any means, but it would have to do. No shower or makeup was unusual for her, but there was no point even if she had time. They were hitting four-wheeler trails that were dirty.
And Cash would no doubt drive too fast.
Monica squared her shoulders. There was nothing new about the attraction she had for Cash Miller. Like always, once they went their separate ways, it would fizzle and die. Out of sight, out of mind, and she’d be out of sight by tomorrow.
“Monica, are you coming or what?” His deep voice boomed again.
After grabbing an old windbreaker from one of the dressers in the loft, she charged down the stairs. Coming to a quick stop on the last step, she teetered over Cash, who stood at the bottom.
His gaze swept her from head to toe. “’Bout time. What about shoes?”
Monica wiggled one bare foot, flashing her peach-painted toenails. With a pair of socks in hand, she nudged by him. “There are rubber boots in the closet down here.”
“You expecting a flood?”
“There’s always mud out there and the forecast on my phone predicts rain later.” Slipping her feet into the boots, she looked around. “Where are the boys?”
“Outside. It’s going to be a warm one today.”
“Good. More fun that way.” She stopped to grab her purse, then gazed about once again.
“What are you looking for now?”
She shrugged. “Do we have everything we need? Phones, first aid? Water?”
He tipped his head. “You’re going to question a marine if he’s ready to roll?”
Of course he’d have everything loaded and ready by the time she got down here. Monica smiled. “I guess I should know better, huh?”
“Yeah, you should.” He held the door for her, then tugged her ponytail as she walked by.
She turned on him with a challenging grin. “Do that again and you’ll be sorry.”
He pulled her hair again and laughed. “I like living on the edge.”
Monica gave him a mock punch to the arm. “Just remember we have two kids on that edge today. Not too fast, okay?”
That sobered him quickly. “I’m careful with them.”
“But not if it’s just you, right?” She didn’t really know what his military life was like, but knowing him, suspected he’d charge in without a thought to his own safety. Her brother Matthew had seen some of Cash’s commendations and medals.
He didn’t answer. In fact, he looked annoyed with the question. “Let’s just go.”
Taking in his faded red T-shirt with the words Semper Fi across the front, Monica got the sinking feeling that he’d always be a marine. She followed him toward the two-seater utility vehicles parked in the pole barn.
“This is awesome.” Ethan caught up with them.
Owen was staring at something in the grass.
Monica stepped close to the younger boy and tried to figure out what had captured his interest. A woolly bear caterpillar inched across a dirt patch. “What is it?”
Owen looked up and then pointed.
Monica tried again, hoping he’d answer. “What is that?”
He dropped his head and let his shoulders droop.
She chuckled at the little boy’s body language, which clearly said she was a dunce for not knowing a caterpillar when she saw one. She bent down and placed her finger on the ground in front of the fuzzy, black and rust colored creature. Once it crawled onto her skin, she lifted her hand so Owen could see it up close.
“Uh, could you play with bugs later?” Cash stood over them, looking grim.
Monica held up the caterpillar. “It’s not just any bug. Woolly bears are special. They predict the upcoming winter, isn’t that right, Owen?”
The boy nodded, but remained silent.
Cash’s gray eyes softened. “What’s that one have to say?”
Monica studied the little caterpillar making its way across her palm toward her wrist and tried to remember what she’d read about them. “There’s a lot of rust on this little guy, so I think that means a milder winter.”
“You never were prissy.” Cash smiled.
Monica set the caterpillar back on the ground, then watched it inch away for a few seconds before she stood up. “Couldn’t be, with seven brothers.”
“No, I suppose not.”
She tipped her head. “When did you get the cabin keys from Matthew?”
“He came up for Cole’s funeral and offered them to me in case I needed to get away. Good thing I had the cabin to go to, considering.” Cash nodded toward Owen.
“Yeah, that worked out well.” She studied him.
Cash’s emotions were well hidden. No sorrow lurked in his clear gray eyes. In fact, he had his game face on, the one he wore when looking for adventure. “Come on. Let’s get helmets on these boys and head out.”
Now wasn’t the time to talk about loss. Monica offered Owen her hand and they followed Cash into the pole barn, where all the recreation gear was hung up or shelved. Selecting child-sized helmets and goggles amid the stash of adult ones wasn’t easy, but thankfully, they found some small sizes that fit Cash’s nephews pretty well.
“Here we go, Owen. I think these will do nicely.” The kid looked adorable.
Fastening the helmet strap under Owen’s chin, Monica wondered how often Cash came back to see his mom at his brother’s place here in the UP. Monica remembered when Mrs. Miller sold the family home in Maple Springs. Cash had grown up there, in town. Did he ever miss it? Probably not, since he rarely visited their hometown.
She watched as Ethan climbed into the passenger seat and Cash buckled him in. The boy’s feet didn’t quite reach the floor, but came pretty close. Close enough.
“Ready, Owen? You’re going to sit real close to Monica, you fortunate little fella.” Cash gave her a wink.
Even though she knew he was teasing, Monica felt her heart give a little skip. She watched as he lifted Owen into the bumper seat placed between the driver’s and passenger’s, and buckled him in tight.
“You didn’t need me to stay and drive. With that middle seat, you could have taken one side-by-side with both boys.”
“Yeah, but then you’d have missed out on all the fun.”
That was true. Monica looked forward to this. She looked forward to fun. “How far are we going?”
Cash gave her a wicked grin. “Until
we stop.”
She took a deep breath. He’d better not go too fast. She slipped behind the wheel, pulled on her goggles and started the engine. The utility vehicle hummed to life and so did she. Blood pumped quickly through her veins as they rolled out into the woods.
* * *
“Go faster!” Ethan hollered.
Cash glanced in the side mirror, glad to see that Monica kept pace beyond the cloud of dust left by his machine. These things went only so fast, but he’d test that.
Seeing a straightaway up ahead, he pushed down on the gas and they pulled away from the other vehicle.
“Yes-s-s!” Ethan held on tight.
Cash checked the speedometer and gave it a little more. Rounding a slight curve in the trail, he floored the engine in order to hit a narrow creek at full throttle. With a whoosh, shallow water splashed up the sides of the UTV and over the roof before flooding the floorboard.
He slowed down and pulled off the trail, turning around so they could watch Monica’s side-by-side go through the same creek bed.
“That was awesome.” Ethan grinned.
Water droplets fell from the roof. Cash looked down at his feet, which were soaked, along with his jeans, and grinned. “Did you get wet?”
Ethan nodded. “It was great.”
Cash laughed. The temperature had been climbing throughout the morning and now it was hot. The cool dousing actually felt good.
He heard Monica’s side-by-side coming and was pleased when she sped up to cross the creek, spraying water in all directions.
When she pulled over, Owen was laughing. Monica’s smile was big, too, as she yelled out, “That was fun. You guys were flying.”
Relieved that she wasn’t going to lecture him on going too fast, Cash killed the engine and got out. This seemed like a good spot to take a break.
Monica shut off her vehicle, as well. She unbuckled Owen and lifted him to the ground, then got out, showing off her dry feet. “These boots came in handy.”
“Good call.” He nodded and opened the cooler strapped on the back of his utility vehicle. “Water?”