by Alisa Adams
“It’s all quite simple really. I know that I shall be inheriting father’s business when he retires or dies, whichever one happens first.”
Rose gasped at how casually Edward spoke of his father’s death.
“Oh, I know it may come as a shock to you that I speak too callously about my father, but I have always been a pragmatic sort and see no need to hide from the truth. And I only say it more as a reflection of my father’s determination to work himself to the bone. He has always poured everything he has into his business, which is, in part, why he is so successful, but I fear he has never learned how to enjoy himself. I believe that there must be some balance between business and pleasure. In my ideal life I would live near London where I could have great influence. I want to feel as though I am a part of something bigger than myself. I read the reports from the captains of my father’s ships and I am amazed at everything they see.” He stopped for a moment and looked to the horizon. When he spoke next there was reverence in his voice. “The world is getting bigger every day and it seems so cruel to be trapped in one small part of it. I would love to experience it all and travel the world, to take trips to the continent. I have heard so many stories of strange customs; I would like to see them for myself.”
“That does sound intriguing,” she said, although she wasn’t sure how it fit in with her own plans. She had never thought of leaving the country. England was her home and anything else seemed a drastic measure. Whenever she thought of the wider world a pain shot through her mind, as though it was too much for her to comprehend. Besides, she had always been taught that England was the height of civility so it seemed useless to leave for a lesser country.
“And then perhaps I could write a book about my travels and tell my story to the whole world. I think I would like that to be my legacy, to know that my name will live on in years to come, that I have left something of myself behind.”
“I’m sure you will be remembered fondly no matter what you do with your life Edward,” Rose reassured him. He dipped his head though, and when he turned to her his eyes were shadowed, but Rose only saw brightness.
“That is not enough Rose. I want my name to be on everyone’s lips. If I may tell you a secret…all my life I have been known as William’s son. My father has made such a success of himself that he looms over me. No matter what I do in business I know I shall always be compared with him, and I wish to have my own accomplishments. I want to be known for my own achievements.”
“I’m sure you will be Edward.” She was a little worried about his shift in mood and tried to turn the conversation back to a happier tone. “What else would you like from life?”
He considered the matter for a moment, and then breathed out through his nostrils. “I think honestly I would be happy with my lot if I could do those things. I’m not sure I would need anything else.”
Disappointment swelled in Rose’s heart. “What about a wife, and a family?”
“Oh yes,” he cooed, and his expression changed instantly. He stopped walking and turned to face her, cupping his hand around her cheek. His palm was warm and having his skin on hers felt as though they were intimately connected. He looked deeply into her eyes and spoke softly, his words as smooth as honey. “I was talking about things that are unlikely to happen. But marriage is almost certain, and a family will surely follow. I looked forward to attending balls with you and eventually having little children of our own. It would be fun to play with them and see them grow. Children have always amused me. They are like little adults and they do the funniest things. I know I have responsibilities and I would not shirk them for anything.”
He stroked her cheek with his thumb and she felt contented. For a moment there he had seemed like someone else, but she was glad they wanted the same thing. Most men had an adventurous spirit and the dreams of traveling were likely just a product of his vigor. She was sure that once he turned his attention to more serious matters he would be quite happy to stay in England, and she would do everything she could to make that so.
As they continued walking he slipped his hand into hers. It was a daring move that made her gasp and she twisted her head around to ensure that nobody was looking. The only person there was Lydia, and Rose assumed she could count on her discretion. Edward, in contrast to Rose, didn’t seem to think much of the gesture. It was natural for him, so Rose hid her shock and just tried to enjoy it.
“What about yourself?” he asked.
“Oh, I would wish the same things as you,” Rose said simply. Edward chuckled and smiled.
“I had a feeling you were going to say that,” he said.
Their conversation dwindled as they took in the sights of the gardens and inspected the flowers. It was going to take them some time to properly get used to spending time together, but Rose felt the initial signs were encouraging. She felt comfortable in his presence and he seemed to be enjoying her company as well. There was so much they were yet to learn about each other, and yet in some ways it was as though she knew all she needed to. She trusted the feeling inside her heart and she knew this was the man she wanted to marry.
From their vantage point they could see the house and they stood together, looking back at the impressive building.
“I wonder if our parents are getting on as well as we are,” Edward wondered.
“I should hope so.”
“My father is likely trying to hammer out the best deal. He can be tenacious when he wants. I should warn you that this process may not happen as quickly as you expect. My father can unfortunately be quite particular when it comes to business arrangements.”
Rose was dismayed at this news. She had already wanted the process to be over quickly even before she had met Edward, and now that she had met him the feeling was even more certain, locked in her mind as resolute as a mountain.
“I should hope he understands that this matter is a personal matter just as it is a business one,” she said. Rose’s parents could afford a large dowry and frankly she thought that made sense. The money of the land would be hers too after the wedding. She did not understand why it took so long.
“I should hope so too, but I know he won’t. Father always tries to get the best deal in everything he does. He actually enjoys the art of negotiation and he won’t be swayed by the emotion of the situation.”
“You won’t let him draw it out for too long though will you Edward? I know that I am ready to take the next step in my life. I hope that you are too.” She tried not to let any yearning be heard in her voice, but she was certain that some of it slipped out.
“One of my sayings is that we should never wait for good things to come to us. Life is too short to miss out on good times.” It was a sentiment that Rose could wholeheartedly agree with. “If he does make life difficult I shall have a word with him and ensure that he knows how important this is for the both of us. I would hope that he sees our happiness as a benefit that is worth more than money.”
They had been out for a little over an hour when they decided to return back to the house to settle into their chambers. As they grew closer to the house Edward released Rose’s hand and she found herself disappointed to not be in constant contact with him any longer, although it was a necessary step as she didn’t want to be the subject of scandal.
They didn’t want to interrupt the negotiations so they waited in a room for them to finish. Edward told a couple of bawdy jokes that he’d heard from a few sailors and they made Rose blush, although Lydia seemed to find them hilarious. Rose forced herself to laugh as well, but she got the sense that she wasn’t quite of the same mind as the two of them, and at that moment she felt that she would need time to get used to Edward.
The joking was interrupted by the opening of a door. Steven stormed out with a face like thunder, and Ruth followed in his wake.
“That man is impossible!” he said. His face was red and his fists were clenched by his side. It was rare for Rose to see her father so angry and she feared for her prospects. She caugh
t her mother’s eye.
“What happened?” Rose asked. Ruth grimaced.
“There are just some more matters to take care of. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time, but your father and William didn’t quite see eye to eye this morning. I’m sorry, I can’t tell you any more than that.” His gaze flicked to Edward. “I will tell you more about it later, but I must attend to your father. He has worked himself up into quite an agitated state.” She rushed to catch up to Steven, who looked flustered as a servant led him away towards his chambers.
Rose’s heart broke inside and nausea filled her stomach. She turned to Edward and looked stricken with fear.
“What could have happened in there?” she gasped.
“This is what I was afraid of. My father drives a hard bargain, a bargain that few men can afford to take. Dammit,” he cursed under his breath, “I will not let him stand in the way of my future. This has gone on for too long. I will have words with him. Forgive me, but I must leave you now. The words I have to speak are not ones that should taint your innocent ears.” He bowed with a flourish and took her hand, kissing her once again. Although she was worried, she was filled with a sense of wellbeing given that Edward was so readily willing to challenge his father and stand up for his affection for her. The fact that he was willing to fight for their future together almost proved to her that he was the right man to entrust her heart to.
He bowed towards Lydia and offered her a smile before spinning on his heels. He strode through the wide doorway and closed the door behind him, ready to face battle with his father. Edward was willing to take the matter into his own hands.
She felt reassured that everything would go well.
With little else to do, Rose returned to her chambers. Lydia showed her the way and Rose thought that if she was going to be spending so much time with her she might as well get to know the girl. Besides, she could do with some company to occupy her time as she didn’t know how long Edward was going to be, or how long her parents were going to need to calm down. She settled on her bed and gestured for Lydia to join her.
“Thank you my lady,” she said. Rose smiled. “I am sorry if you think I was intruding on you before, but I cannot afford to lose my job. Lord Douglas has very high standards and if anyone fails to meet them they are replaced.”
“I understand. I suppose it was selfish of me to want time alone with Edward before we are even married. I shall just have to endure the process and hope that this dispute between our fathers does not take too long to be resolved.”
“I’m sure it won’t be. Lord Douglas has played host to many wedding parties like yours and there are always disagreements, especially at the beginning. In the end though they always work out for the best. Lord Harold sees to that.”
“You sound very fond of him.”
“I am.” Lydia smiled. “He has had a difficult life, but he has always been kind to his servants. We enjoy our time here. It is just such a shame that he cannot find a lady to keep him happy. I know it would do him a world of good.”
“Do you know why he hasn’t married? It’s been suggested to me that he is still suffering from the loss of his siblings.”
“That is part of it, but I think some people just don’t appreciate him. I would be more than happy to marry him myself, but sadly it is impossible for him to marry a simple servant. We must always stick to our own worlds, mustn’t we?” Lydia said. Rose arched an eyebrow at this statement of such raw ambition and she wondered if Lydia actually meant it, for it was quite a daring thing to say.
“Yes, we must. Tell me Lydia, of all the people you have seen come through this estate, do Edward and I seem to be well-matched?” Rose hated to reveal her insecurities to someone she barely knew, but Lydia was there to serve her every need and that meant emotional as well as taking care of her things. There was nobody else she could ask either, and she thought that something good might as well come out of the fact that Lydia had intruded on what Rose had hoped would be a private moment.
“You have absolutely nothing to worry about my lady. The way he looks at you is how every woman dreams her husband will look at her, and it’s not every man who would stand up to his father, especially one as powerful as Lord Drake. You are a fortunate woman and when you are married you will be the envy of every woman you meet.”
Her words eased Rose’s last concerns, and she breathed a little more easily. She did not want to spend her entire time worried about what Edward thought of her, and there were a few other matters that sparked her curiosity. Her parents had already told her not to mention the horrible matter of the drama in the Highlands in Lord Harold’s presence, but there was plenty of mystery surrounding the subject and it seemed she might get some illumination on the subject from Lydia. When asked, Lydia seemed more than happy to share.
“I remember that time well. I was still young, still working my way up as a chambermaid. We were all shocked that Sarina was being married off to a Highland laird rather than an English lord, but we assumed there were reasons for that. She seemed happy the day she left, although I could tell that she was afraid. She actually handed a flower to me before she left. We never heard too much about what happened, although we knew that Thomas was incensed when he returned. They went back and forth, taking soldiers with him, coming back with less and less. He talked of war and many of us assumed the worst, that something had happened to Sarina. You hear talk of the cruelty of the Highlanders you know, and you have to wonder how an English lady would fare in their clutches. And then he left and never came back.
“Harold told us all that there had been a battle and that Thomas had been killed by bandits, and that Sarina was staying there. The fact that Matthew and Thomas were both killed by bandits shows that it’s not the kind of place anyone would want to leave. Some of us think that something different happened, that the Highlander beat Thomas in a duel and kept Sarina hostage. Some even say that Harold wasn’t brave enough to take the Highlander on in battle.”
“Surely it’s not allowed to speak about Lord Harold like that?” Rose gasped.
Lydia shrugged. “People are going to talk, no matter what.”
“But how much truth is in this?”
“I’m not sure. Sarina has returned a few times, never for long. She seems happy enough so I’m not sure there’s much to the story, but with so much death it does make you wonder. Sadly I doubt we’ll ever find out the truth. It’s not for us to learn, and Lord Harold isn’t going to tell us the truth.”
“Has the Highlander ever visited this place?”
“Only once. And he was massive. The biggest man you’ve ever seen. I think they’re all like that, big and burly. I wouldn’t want to get into a fight with one of them. English men are more refined, and it just makes it more confusing that Sarina would stay with one if she wasn’t being forced.”
“I can imagine,” Rose said, her eyes growing wide at the description of the Highlander. There was still something about such a fierce man that spoke to a deep part of her, but she tried to brush it away as she didn’t want to give too much strength to these dark and wicked impulses. Keith was pleasing to her eyes but she thought that if they began talking he would have nothing important to say. No ambitions.
“I would like to ask you something,” Rose said. She had noticed that Lydia was very clever and had become more than just a maid.
“Anything you wish my lady.”
“What are your ambitions? And please, tell me what they actually are, not what you wish me to hear.”
Lydia exhaled sharply and placed her hands together before she spoke. “I would like to one day be the head of a household. I know that I am never likely to break free of my own station in life, but I do wish to rise to the top of that station. I want to be able to look back and think I have accomplished something in my life. I thought I could achieve that here, but since Lord Douglas seems to have an aversion to finding a wife I know I am never going to court the favor of a lady. Given this set of circumstances
I hope it’s not too forward of me to ask for a position in your household. I hope to prove to you in the coming days that I can be of good service to you.”
Lydia was certainly a unique woman, and Rose began to think that she and Lydia might have more in common than she first suspected.
“We’ll see how well you serve me, but I shouldn’t think there would be any issue with that,” Rose said. Lydia smiled and thanked her profusely. Then she left for her room and Rose lied down so she could get some rest.
Rose was determined that this marriage was going to succeed so she needed to put some things in place even though the negotiations had hit upon some difficulty. It was only a matter of time though; that’s what she kept telling herself. Edward would have a word with his father and clear matters up, while she would make preparations for their future.
She thought about the kind of house she wanted; she was sure that she wanted a lovely garden filled with vivid plants. She would have an entire house to populate with staff and she began thinking of what kind of people she wanted working under her. They would have to be honest and kind. She would do everything in her power to be fair with them.
She was planning how she would manage the house and she felt that with Lydia by her side she could create a good household for Edward to lead. All the pieces were falling into place, and she just had to hope that their respective parents could come to an agreement.
It was very difficult for her to place her fortunes in the hands of other people. She tossed and turned in her bed, hating the thought that her fate was to be decided by others. How she longed to be free to make her own decisions.
Edward would have probably been in his room by now. She was dying to know how the talk with his father went. She knew it was wrong, but all she wanted was to see him and ask him about it.