Learning To Love

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by Thomas Merton


  (February 28)

  After the abandonment of the Norway foundation Dom J. may be likely to try a hermitage for several – or a group of hermits in other words – in Edelin’s Valley. In so far as this would imply a community, organization etc., I would be against it. Better individual hermits depending directly on the main community.

  March 1

  Why not do real theological work in the afternoons, especially this Lent, now that there is less pressure to finally finish off the things I had unwisely promised to write? Real work of theological reflection and construction?

  Once again – there is no question that all my conflicts and problems can be traced in the end to lack of faith. That is also to say that they are all intended as means of purifying my faith by driving me to it as to the last and unique resort. Solitude makes this particularly clear. I must live in and by THE Truth, not merely by this or that truth, this or that “explanation,” this or that ideal, or system. Hence importance of the Bible and the Eucharist above all!

  March 2

  At least a flash of sanity: the momentary realization that there is no need to come to certain conclusions about persons, events, conflicts, trends, even trends toward evil and disaster, as if from day to day and even from moment to moment I had to know and declare (at least to myself): This is so and so, this is good, this is bad; we are heading for a “new era” or we are heading for destruction. What do such judgments mean? Little or nothing. Things are as they are, in an immense whole of which I am a part, and which I cannot pretend to grasp. To say I grasp it is immediately to put myself in a false position, as if I were “outside” it. Whereas to be in it is to seek truth in my own life and action, by moving where movement is possible and keeping still when movement is unnecessary, realizing that things will continue to define themselves and that the judgments and mercies of God will clarify themselves – and will be more clear to me if I am silent and attentive, obedient to. His will, rather than constantly formulating statements in this age which is smothered in language, in meaningless and inconclusive debate, and in which, in the last analysis, nobody listens to anything except what agrees with his own prejudices.

  End of February – Marie Tadié started acting up again. Even though it has been arranged that she deal directly with publishers or w[ith] abbot, she is still trying to get through to me and bombard me with her interminable complaints and accusations. The best solution is to take her as a further reason for cutting down on publication – at least of books etc, that require to be translated in Europe. Rather – continue writing in freedom and peace, without a view to immediate publication

  – discreet dissemination of work

  – publication in magazines and out of the way places, perhaps limited editions

  – an infrequent full-length book for Doubleday. One in five years would be plenty!!

  [ – to have disgrace in the heart.

  Remember that you must meet God …

  and what do I want with humankind?]

  Not popular, but exactly right for me!

  Fear of man and fear of God cannot coexist in one heart!

  “The wise follow the path of non-assertion and teach without words.”

  Lao Tzu.

  March 6

  Beauty and necessity (for me) of solitary life – apparent in the sparks of truth, small, recurring flashes of a reality that is beyond doubt, momentarily appearing, leading me further on my way. Things that need no explanation and perhaps have none, but which say: “Here! This way!” And with final authority!

  It is for them that I will be held responsible. Nothing but immense gratitude! They cancel out all my mistakes, weaknesses, evasions, falsifications.

  They lead further and further in that direction that has been shown me, and to which I am called.

  APPENDIX C

  A Postscript

  April 1966

  The work of writing can be for me, or very close to, the simple job of being: by creative reflection and awareness to help life itself live in me, to give its esse an existant, or to find place, rather, in esse by action, intelligence and love. For to write is love: it is to inquire and to praise, or to confess, or to appeal. This testimony of love remains necessary. Not to reassure myself that I am (“I write therefore I am”), but simply to pay my debt to life, to the world, to other men. To speak out with an open heart and say what seems to me to have meaning. The bad writing I have done has all been authoritarian, the declaration of musts, and the announcement of punishments. Bad because it implies a lack of love, good insofar as there may yet have been some love in it. The best stuff has been more straight confession and witness.

  April 14, 19661

  This note appears in Notebook CI, 1966 March-April-May-June-July (The George Arena Research Library, Syracuse University Syracuse, New York).

  Searchable Terms

  Note: The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific passage, please use the search feature of your e-book reader.

  Abbot, the. See James, Dom [Fox]

  Abdesalam, Sidi

  Absurdity

  Actuelles I (Camus)

  Addams, Charles

  Adler, Renata

  Adolfs, R.

  Agenda

  Agonia (Unamuno)

  Airtight Cage, The (Lyford)

  Alban, Bro

  Alberti, Rafael

  Allah

  Allchin, Donald

  Almad al’, Alawi

  Altizer, Thomas J.J.

  America article

  American Catholicism

  Amery, Carl

  Anastasius, Fr.

  Angela of Foligno

  Anti-Christ

  “Apologies to an Unbeliever” (Merton)

  Apostolic Delegate

  Arab refugees

  Artaud, Antonin

  Ascension Day (1967)

  Ash Wednesday (1966)

  As I Lay Dying (Faulkner)

  Athanasius of Alexandria

  Athonite Hesychasm

  Atomic physics

  “Aubade on a Cloudy Morning” (Merton)

  Auden, W. H.

  Augustine, Fr.

  Auschwitz

  Autobiography of Malcolm X

  Autobiography (Muir)

  Aziz, Abdul

  Aztecs

  Babin’s Options

  Bachelard, Gaston

  Baez, Joan

  Barth, Karl

  Bear, The (Faulkner)

  Beatles, The

  Beckett, Samuel

  Bellow, Saul

  Benedict, Bro.

  Benedict, Ruth

  Benet of Canfield

  Benzon, Ernst

  Berrigan, Dan

  Berryman, John

  Birthday (Merton’s)

  Black Power

  “Black Revolution” (Merton)

  Bly, Robert

  Bohr, Niels

  Book of the Green Man, The (Johnson)

  Book of Hours

  Book of Job

  Book of the Poor in Spirit (Tauler)

  Boone, Andy

  Boone, Gerald

  Bouyer, Louis

  Bowles, Paul

  Bowling, Webb

  Browne, Russell

  Bubonic Plague

  “Buddhism and the Modern World” (Merton)

  Buddhist meditation

  Buddhist nun burning

  Bunting, Basil

  Bursitis, (Merton)

  Burton [Stone], Naomi

  Burtt, E. A.

  Cables to the Ace (Merton). See “Edifying Cables.”

  Callistus, Fr.

  Camara, Archbishop Helder

  Campbell, Will

  Camus, Albert: anti-eschatology of, commitment of, L’État de siège of, on ethic of quantity, L’Homme révolté, of, Renegade of, on revolt and resistance, study of, The Myth of Sisyphus by

  “Cancer Blues” (Merton)

  Capitulation (Amery) />
  Caraco, Albert

  Cardenal, Ernesto

  Carlisle, Olga

  Carroll, Joe

  Castle (Kafka)

  Catholic Aggiornamento

  Catholic Church

  Catholic Digest

  Catholic poetry

  “Catholic renewal,”

  Catholic Worker

  Cecile de Bourbon, Princess

  Celan, Paul

  Center at Santa Barbara

  “Certain Proverbs Arise Out of Drems” (Merton)

  Chadwick, Nora

  Chaigne, Hervé

  Chakravarty, Amiya

  Chaque homme dans sa Nuit (Green)

  Char, René

  Chateaubriand, François Auguste René

  Chatham, Monsignor

  “Cherokee Park” (Merton)

  Chilean Mass, The

  China

  Chinese cultural revolution

  Chow, Napoleon

  Christ

  Christ of Faith

  Christian charisma

  Christianity

  Christmas (1966)

  Chrysogonus [Waddell], Fr.

  Church Against Itself, The (Ruether)

  Churchill, Winston

  Church of the monastery

  Church of the monastery altar

  Cistercian life

  Civil Rights bill (1964)

  Civil Rights movement

  Clamence, J. B.

  Cleaver, Eldridge

  Clement, Bro.

  Clergy retreat

  Collectanea

  Columban, Dom

  Commonweal

  “Communauté, de l’Arche” fast

  Compassion

  Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander (Merton)

  Conscience correspondence

  Consciousness

  Constellations

  Contemplative life

  Contradictions

  Conversion, (Merton)

  Cool Millennium, The (Syke)

  Corman, Cid

  Cornell, Julian

  Cornell, Tom

  Cosmology

  Council Decree on Religious

  Courier Journal

  Cousins, Norman

  Creativity and Tao (Chang Chung-Yuan)

  Cross Currents

  Cultural revolution (China)

  Curns, Eileen

  Cuthbert, Bro.

  Dana, Doris

  Daniel, Yuli

  Dante

  Darío, Ruben

  Davenport, Guy

  Davis, Fr. Charles

  “Day of a Stranger” (Merton)

  Death

  Decisions

  Deer watching

  De Gaulle, Charles

  Delta Council Speech of (Faulkner)

  De Lubac, Henri

  Denoncourt, Leo

  Derby Day (1967)

  Desert Fathers

  Desnos, Robert

  Detachment

  Dialogue on the Soul and Passions (John Solitary)

  Discipline

  Dishonesty

  Distraction

  Doherty, Frank C.

  Dommergues, Pierre

  Donnelly, Sally

  Dreams

  Dreams (Merton)

  Du Bay, William

  Duckett, Eleanor

  Dumont, P. Charles

  Duncan, Robert

  Dupont, E. I.

  Dylan, Bob

  “Eastbournc” poem (Montale)

  Easter Sunday (1966)

  Ecumenical movement

  “Edifying Cables” (Merton)

  Egyptian monasticism

  Eiseley, Loren

  Elegies

  Eliot, T.S.

  “Emergent Plan” (Chakravarty)

  English Philosophy Since 1900 (Warnock)

  Epstein, Brian

  Erotic love

  Esctasies

  Eshleman, Clayton

  ESP

  Essays, Speeches and Public Letters (Faulkner)

  Essays (Williams)

  L’État de siège (Camus)

  Eudes, [Bamberger] Fr.

  Evans, Illtud

  Evolution and Hope (Benzon)

  Fadiman, Clifton

  Faith

  Faith and Violence (Merton)

  Fall (Camus)

  Fasting

  Faulkner, William

  Ferry, Ping W.H.

  Feuillets d’Hypnos (Char)

  Finbar, Bro.

  “Fire and the Hearth, The” (Faulkner)

  Firmament of Time, The

  Fitzsimmons, Jim

  Flavian, [Burns] Fr.

  Flavian’s hermitage

  Floersh, Archbishop John

  Foi et Violence

  Ford Gladys

  Ford, Jack

  Ford, Josephine

  Foretich, Bro. Dunstan

  Francis, St.

  Frederic, Dom

  Freedgood, Anne

  Freedgood, Sy

  Freedom project (1964)

  Frost, Robert

  Futility

  Gabriel, Dom

  Gamow, George

  Garaudy, R.

  Gardiner, Margaret

  Garfunkel, Barry

  Geist, Peter

  General Chapter

  Gerdy, Bob

  “Gerontion” (Ransom)

  Gethsemani community: damage by Dom James to, dream about fire at, reflections on, sad state of

  Ghetto rioting

  Giles, Bro.

  Gillet, Dom Ignace

  Ginsberg, Allen

  God: Dom James’s image of, gratitude for M. to, hearing, justification doctrine and, light to know, as love, love for, Marxist Catholic dialogue on, Moslem vision of, offering oneself to, revelation of

  “God-is-dead” theology

  God’s “alien work,”

  God’s kingdom

  Gonzales, Conchita

  Gospel According to St. Matthew, The (film)

  Gospel for Atheists (Hromadka)

  Goss-Mayr, Hildegard

  Gould, A.

  Goulet, Denis

  Govinda, Laura

  Great Society

  Green, Julien

  Gregorio, Dom

  Grenier, Jean

  Griffin, Gregory

  Griffin, John H.

  Grimes, William

  Guardini, Romano

  Guilt

  Gullick, Etta

  Gullicks

  Hamilton, William

  Hammer, Carolyn

  Hammer, Victor

  Handelinan, Dr.

  Harper’s

  Harvesters, The (Pavese)

  Hausherr, Irenée

  “Hearing God

  Heidbrink, John

  Heisenberg, Werner

  Helsinki peace conference

  Hennacy, Ammon

  Hermitage (Flavian’s)

  Hermitage (Hilarion’s)

  Hermitage (Merton’s): Dom James’, visit to, gratitude for, Mass at, as model to others, prayer in the primitive state of, reflections on life in, vocation through. See also Merton, Thomas, Solitary life

  Hermit life

  Hernandez, Miguel

  Hesse, Hermann

  Hesychasm

  “Highway 61” (Dylan)

  Hilarion, Fr.

  Hippie movement

  Hiroshima

  Holloway, Jim

  Holy Week (1967)

  “Homage to Mistress Bradstreet” (Berryman)

  Homo Militans (Meerloo)

  Hoover, J. Edgar

  Hopelessness

  Hromadka, Josef Luk

  Hudson Review, The

  Hunt, John

  Hutchins, Robert

  Hymn for Vigils

  I Always Obey My Nurse (Merton)

  Idesbald, Fr.

  The Idiot (Dostoievsky)

  Ignace, Dom

  Ignorance

  Illusions

  Innocence

  Intelligible World The (Nishida)


  “Interior man,”

  Isaac of Stella

  Ishi

  “Ishi: A Meditation” (Merton)

  Israel

  Israel-Arab war

  Israeli Jews

  James, Dom [Fox]: advises Merton to break with M., anger with Merton by, censoring of mail by, complaints about mail censoring of, control of, damage to community by, decides to retire to hermitage, “experimental” foundations and, forbids Merton to contact M., forced isolation of Merton by, image of God by, Latin American foundation and, leaves for Rome, lectures Merton, letters, questionnaire of, letter to Merton from, Merton gives written commitment to, Merton’s reflections on, nature of, postcards to the community from, punishment given to Merton by, relationship between Merton and, ridicule by, treatment of Bro. Ralph by, visit to hermitage by

  Jerome

  Joachim, Dom

  Joan of Arc, St

  Job

  John Baptist, Fr.

  John, Fr. [Loftus]

  John the Solitary

  Johnson, Lyndon Baines

  Johnson, Ronald

  Jones, David

  Jones, Penn

  Jones, Rufus

  Journal of My Escape from the Nazis

  Journal to New Directions

  Jubilee (Merton)

  Jude, Bro.

  Judgment

  Junayd, Au’l Qasim

  Justification doctrine

  Kafka, Franz

  Katallagete

  Kavanaugh, Fr. James

  Kelly, Robert

  Kennedy, John F.

  Kilburn, David

  Kilian, Bro.

  King, Winston

  Klee, Paul

  Klu Klux Klan

  Koenig, Cardinal

  Kosygin, Aleksey

  Krolow, Karl

  K., Sister

  Kubyba starvation

  La Dehesa hermitage

  Laetare Sunday (1966)

  “La Sorgue” (Char)

  Latin American foundation

  Latin American poets

  Laughlin, James

  Lawler, Justus George

  Lax, Robert

  Leclercq, Dom Jean

  Lee, Laurie

  Lent (1966)

  Letters from Mississippi (ed. by Martinez)

  Letters to a Young Poet (Rilke)

  “Letter to a Wound” (Auden)

  Levi, Peter

  Lévi-Strauss, Claude

  Life article

  Light in August (Faulkner)

  Liscano, Juan

  Literature

  Little Brothers of Jesus

  Liturgy

  Loftus, Fr. John

  London Observer, The

  London Times

  Loneliness

  “Long Call Is Made Out of Wheels, A” (Merton)

 

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