by Trina Lane
“So how was your first day?” Brandon asked.
“Felt good. It was really nice to use my brain for something other than daily function requirements. I thought I might feel a bit rusty, even after reviewing procedures and the latest research for the past couple of weeks, but the day went smoothly. The facilities are great and the people seem cool so far.”
“That’s good. I know you were eager to get back, but I imagine there had to be just a few nerves.”
“How did the knee hold up?” Malaki asked.
“Good. Had a couple of twinges here and there if I wasn’t paying attention and moved weird, but I didn’t have any problem with mobility or stability.”
He straightened his leg to let Malaki give a quick assessment of the tenderness and effusion he’d reported having after being on his feet all day. Malaki placed his hand on Javier’s knee under the table, and the warmth of his palm through his slacks made Javier wish he was in shorts so he could feel those work-roughed fingers on his bare skin. The caress was simultaneously intimate and clinical. When Malaki continued to slide his hand up Javier’s thigh, the backs of his fingers grazed Javier’s balls and he swallowed, trying to subtly shift in his seat.
He leaned over and placed his lips next to Javier’s ear, saying softly, “I still think you need to ice it tonight when you get home.”
“You keep that up and my knee won’t be the only thing needing ice tonight.”
“So this is a thing now?” Tyler asked.
Javier smiled and looked at Malaki. “Told you he’d crack first.”
Malaki gestured for their server. “Round of drinks on me this time.”
Javier gazed across the table to assess his best friends’ reactions. Brandon, as usual, wore a mask worthy of the greatest poker player. Tyler’s eyes were truly the windows to his soul, which right now were cloudy enough that Javier’s view was obscured.
“Yes, this is a thing.”
“How long?”
“Not very. And before the question can even pop into your nosy little minds, we’re taking it slowly, figuring out exactly what we want.”
Tyler looked at Malaki. “So you know?”
“About his past relationships? Yes. About everything that happened? As he’s willing to share.”
Tyler held up his glass. “Well, then, I, for one, am glad.”
He found himself holding his breath as Brandon stayed silent. Javier still had some reservations about starting a relationship with Malaki. Was he really ready? Did he have enough trust in himself to read and respond to their interactions without falling back on bad habits? It was as if he was walking through dense fog, unsure of his next step, but he knew he had to keep moving. If he stood still and let the mist consume him, he’d never find his way to being whole again. It had been Brandon’s and Tyler’s hands that had led him towards the right path, but maybe, just maybe, it would be Malaki’s deep voice that acted as the beacon for the next leg of his journey.
“Give me one adjective that describes Javier?” Brandon asked Malaki.
It was a simple question, but really spoke volumes about how a man thought and acted in the world.
Malaki took Javier’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Resilient.”
“Hmm….”
He glanced over at Brandon. The man’s lack of response had made Javier’s blood pressure rise a good ten points in the last five minutes. Would Brandon support him and Malaki? Did he deserve that support or had he burned too many karma-bridges over the years? And if he didn’t have Brandon’s support, would he have the fortitude to stay and work on this budding relationship? He turned to study Malaki. The man looked like a fierce warrior with his large ink designs, layers of muscles, and a frame that towered over the common man. But Javier had seen the depth of his person in moments when he’d been ready to give up during therapy. Malaki had been the one to make him believe he could do it. It had been Malaki’s voice giving him strength to continue when Javier’s body was ready to give out from the pain and exertion. And now that he’d recovered on a physical level, he hungered to hear Malaki’s voice in the dark with much more explicit and intimate demands.
“Yes.”
He jerked his gaze back towards Brandon. “What?”
“Yes. I agree that is a good word to describe you. Of course, I would have also accepted pig headed, opinionated, ambitious, charismatic or intelligent.”
“Thanks. I think?”
The server brought their dinner selections and Javier inhaled the spices floating up from his green chili lasagna. While he looked forward to stuffing his face with the pasta, Malaki had been true to form and ordered the Texas Gulf Redfish, and the grilled squash, zucchini and sun-dried tomatoes did look delicious.
“So the two of you have some shindig this weekend for Tyler’s family?” Javier asked
“The Crystal Charity Ball is tomorrow night. It’s the last big event of the season, and while I gratefully let my parents and brother handle a lot of the obligations for the family corporation and foundations, there’re a few I make it a point to attend each year. This year Brandon and I attended the TACA Fiftieth Anniversary Gala and the Two x Two for Aids Art Gala and Auction.”
“It’s just a good thing that all these events are after foaling season and things are quieter on the ranch. I tried to talk him into going to the Cattle Barons’ Ball this year, but no such luck. He promised me next year though.”
“We all know you have a thing for cowboys, but since when are you a country music fan?” Javier asked.
Brandon smiled up at Tyler, his very own cowboy, and Javier practically started to sweat with the heat being generated between his two friends. It was as if the they were able to share a thousand words in a few seconds.
I wonder if Mal and I will ever get to that point?
Being that absolutely open to another person was slightly terrifying, but at the same time to have a connection on that intimate a level was a rarely seen miracle. Speaking of connections, it’s getting a little squirm-inducing on this side of the booth. He whistled to catch Brandon and Tyler’s attention.
“Hmm?” Brandon asked. “Oh, sorry. I’m not really. But I hear it’s an amazing party, and a great people-watching event.”
“I can’t really imagine going to stuff like that. How do you relate to anyone? I mean, the two of you just seem so normal and anytime I’ve seen pictures or read about society stuff, it’s like those who go live on another planet compared to the rest of us plebeians.”
Tyler shrugged. “I’ve never known any different, but my grandfather made sure I kept both my feet firmly planted in the dirt.”
Brandon shrugged. “I used to think like that when we first started dating. Do you remember that first event you took me to at The Texas Hall of State? There I was in my rented tux, trying to act like I mingled with millionaires every day, while the whole time inside I was screeching like a teenage girl about to be devoured by Jaws.”
“Seriously?” Tyler asked.
Brandon nodded. “Anyway, after a couple more soirees, I figured out there are some people who are elitist douchebags and others who are actually fun to hang with despite the fact that they have a lot of money.”
“That’s true. I mean, I come from money, but I chose to run a ranch and horse breeding program. So in the eyes of a few, I don’t belong, but they’re not willing to risk insulting my family to say anything.”
The four of them finished their supper and by the time their plates had been cleared away, Javier’s body temperature was climbing from more than just the chilies. Malaki paid for Javier’s meal, and even though he could have paid for his own meal at this point, the gesture was not lost on him. It was again unfamiliar territory, but didn’t chafe at his instincts in any way.
They stood outside the restaurant and Javier slipped his hand into Malaki’s. He received a soft squeeze in turn and couldn’t stop the dopey grin that crept across his face, no doubt making him appear rather simple.
Javier swallowed and the delicious meal he’d just finished suddenly churned in his gut. He couldn’t seem to focus and his heart raced. Bile threatened to erupt in a rather unpleasant display of nature’s force. His legs shook and he had a brief moment of consciousness when it occurred to him that he was about to experience another dose of pain, but couldn’t get his limbs to coordinate enough to stop the collapse of his body.
Warmth enveloped him and instead of the harsh ringing sound in his ears, he heard a mellow rumble. Vibrations against his cheek seemed to stimulate his muscles into working as a team to translate the random neurons firing from his brain into meaningful movement.
“What?”
“That’s it. Focus on my voice, Javi. Look at me and only me.”
He blinked and Malaki’s face swam into focus. His worried gaze trained on Javier and the light from the exterior of the restaurant gleamed off his shaved head. He fell into Malaki’s dark eyes. How was it that on one man that shade could emote darkness and in another almost a radiant warmth?
“Shit. I am so sorry, Javier,” Brandon said.
He looked around and was relieved to find that it was still just the four of them. The last thing Javier wanted was to become the object of every patron’s Instagram feed. He sat up and shook off the last of the clouds in his brain. Spying Brandon and Tyler standing just to his left, he held out his hand to Brandon, who pulled him up.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I was just giving you guys shit and then, I don’t know…clearly I said something and you just disappeared.”
“Well, it wasn’t your fault. Clearly some rubber band in my brain just got twanged the wrong way and snapped. My therapist said we still don’t understand all the triggers that might ignite a reaction after my experience. It could be a sound or a smell—who knows?”
“Do you have flashbacks often?” Tyler asked.
Javier shook his head. “They’re not flashbacks. Not really. More like I just kind of go absent. And it’s only happened a handful of times.”
Malaki rubbed small circles on his back. “A protective shell. A way to shield your mind from whatever is happening in reality. You’ve said that there are gaps in your memory during your time in captivity. Maybe something similar?”
“Maybe. Sorry for being such a drama queen. Can we just forget this happened and say have a good night?”
Tyler came forward and gave Javier a hug. “Have a good night? Absolutely. Forget and not worry about my friend? Not going to happen.”
Javier sniffed and tried to hide the emotions that threatened to bubble up.
“Group hug!” Brandon yelled as his arms came around Javier from behind.
He let out a grunt as Malaki joined the melee. “All right, who touched my ass?”
“Don’t look at me,” Brandon said. “My hands are up here.”
Javier glanced over his shoulder and grinned evilly. “I didn’t say it was a hand.”
“Oh please, your ass is locked up tighter than Fort Knox.” Brandon said as he backed away and ran over to Tyler’s side.
“Maybe I’ve just been waiting for the guy with the right-size key?”
Both Brandon and Tyler’s jaws fell open. It took everything in him to hold in a laugh.
Malaki captured Javier’s waist and pulled him into the circle of his arms. “It might take hours, but even the most stubborn locks release with the right touch.”
“Umm, okay, so have a good night, guys!” Javier said as he spun around, commandeered Malaki’s hand and dragged him towards the parking lot.
Tyler and Brandon’s laughter followed them, but with Malaki’s huge paw in his grip and his thundering steps hot on Javier’s heels, he couldn’t have cared less about the future ribbing he was sure to receive. They reached Malaki’s big truck and Javier used his momentum to fling the big man around and put his back to the passenger-side door.
He knew that Malaki had let Javier manhandle him. He had no illusions that he was stronger than the Samoan. One thing he and Malaki had figured out was that Javier was still bossy, but the exertion of control had a very different dynamic nowadays. He ground his mouth against Malaki’s, but instead of the urge to pin the man’s hands immobile, he savored the passion and determination behind Mal’s touch.
Malaki had a strong grip on the back of Javier’s shirt and he arched up to plaster their bodies closer together. His cock found its way to half-mast, which was still a feeling that he reveled in as a personal accomplishment. It seemed as though he wasn’t alone in his excitement, judging by the detailed map Malaki was making of his body.
It was difficult to slam on the brakes now that he’d finally gotten his motor running, but Javier knew this wasn’t the time.
“Want to go back to my place?” Malaki asked.
“Yes.” He backed up a step and a breeze blew between them, cooling more than just their bodies.
Malaki smiled but didn’t move away from the truck. “It’s okay.”
Javier shook his head. “No, it’s not. Part of me really wants to go back to your place and fuck. I want to see that glorious body of yours bared to the moonlight and run my tongue along every one of those lines inked into your skin.”
“And the other part?”
“Is scared absolutely shitless that I won’t really know what to do once we get there. I’ve been having sex one way for a long time.”
“Let me ask you a question. Do you still crave having a submissive under your command?”
Javier let go of Malaki and leaned back against the truck. He closed his eyes and pictured himself back in some of the more aggressive scenes he’d participated in. Images of cock and ball cages made him cringe. The idea of using a flogger or even giving a man a hard spanking made his semi disappear. Then he pictured Malaki on his knees, as he would previously have required all scenes to begin. He moaned as frustration engulfed him.
“Don’t think, just feel,” Malaki whispered into his ear.
Instead of focusing on scenes, he imagined how it would be to have Malaki nip his way across Javier’s flesh. The sensation of sheets rubbing against his skin as their bodies rolled across a bed. Not him conducting a scene, but two men sharing the experience of making love.
“No. I don’t want to command you.”
Malaki ran his hand up Javier’s face and turned his head till they were facing each other again. “While I have to admit you really sent my wheels spinning when you shoved me up against the truck, I’m not wired to be somebody’s boy.”
“I don’t need a boy. I need a partner. I mean not in the sense that I’m about to pop the question, but I need somebody who’s my equal.”
Malaki lowered his head and even though Javier knew he was about to be kissed, he tilted his head away so he could whisper in Mal’s ear, “Um, there is one thing that hasn’t changed from my old days.”
Malaki pressed his forehead against Javier’s and whispered, “What’s that?”
“I want to be the one to fuck you.”
“Oh, I think that is very doable. I’ve ached to feel you inside me for months now.”
Javier shivered and his cock hardened with the anticipation of sliding into Malaki’s tight heat. “Get your ass in this truck now,” he growled.
The ride back to Malaki’s condo seemed to stretch on forever. The distance wasn’t great, but with each mile Javier’s inner monologue kept alternating between, ‘God I hope I can still do this’ and ‘Oh my God, this is so exciting!’ If he hadn’t been assured by his therapist that he was doing quite well, he’d have been concerned about developing some kind of split personality disorder.
Malaki braked hard as they pulled up outside his complex. Javier turned to look at his soon-to-be lover, but the man was already out of the door and his long strides were eating away at the distance between the parking lot and his front door.
“Well, okay
, then.”
Javier fought with the seatbelt, and was seconds away from gnawing through the damn thing when the latch finally released. He jumped out and slammed the door closed. The race to the steps outside Malaki’s condo made his heart rate jump, but the sight of his man standing at the top of the stairs with laser beams of lust burning from his eyes was what nearly gave him a heart attack.
Malaki was no sub and Javier knew that what was about to go down would shift his world onto yet another axis. He just hoped he’d survive again.
He stalked Malaki up the stairs. Step by step he closed the gap till he felt the heat radiating off Malaki’s body.
“What are you waiting for?” he asked.
“Wanted to make sure you were okay. Didn’t want your knee to give out with the mad dash you made across the courtyard.”
“Saw that, did you?”
“Mmhm. Besides, I’ve got plans for that body of yours. Can’t have you injuring yourself…again.”
He reached up and pulled Malaki’s head down till their lips were nearly a hair apart. “Well, it’s a good thing I’ve got an in with the best PT in Dallas.”
“You’re about to get a lot more in him.”
“Fuck yes, I am. Now move it. I find that my taste for public play isn’t quite what it used to be. Only I get to see this gorgeous body of yours.”
They quickly made their way down the balcony and as Malaki unlocked the door, Javier plastered himself against his lover’s back. He gripped Malaki’s hip with one hand and ran the other up his back beneath the shirt that had been tauntingly molded to his muscles all night.
“Hurry, Mal, my lips are tingling with the need to explore every inch of your body.”
Malaki moaned and the door flew open. The glass rattled as it banged against the wall. As soon as they’d sealed themselves away from the outside world, Malaki ripped off his shirt. Even in the dark, the ink that decorated his body highlighted each curve and sinew.