by Fiona Starr
The dining hall is crowded as usual. Roz and I make our way to our table where everyone is sitting together as always. I smile at my friends, and give them all a quick hello.
I spot Alice’s purple hair and pull a notebook out of my bag. “Thanks for letting me copy your notes, Alice.”
She takes it from me but doesn’t smile. “No problem.”
Roz slides in next to Zeke and I realize as I look around the table that there aren’t any seats left for me and nobody is moving. I nudge Rachel. “Hey, scoot over.”
She doesn’t react to my push, instead she leans over and whispers something to Ryan, who is sitting on her other side, and they start a quiet conversation between the two of them, ignoring me.
I try not to be a paranoid person in general, but something is definitely going on. I give everyone another quick look, trying to find someone who looks like they want to talk to me. Only Roz seems to be acting normal.
I don’t need this shit. “Ok then. Well, Guess I’m on my own.” I turn on my heels and search for somewhere else to sit.
As I cross the dining hall, I pass Sebastian, who’s sitting with Kate and some of their friends. She glances up at me and quickly looks away. Of course, she’s angry with me too. I pass by them as fast as possible because the last thing I need is more family drama playing out for all to see.
“Bas!” Kate’s voice barks the single syllable and is quickly silenced, but I keep on going. I arrive at an empty table and sit down, and then Sebastian drops into the seat facing me.
“Hey, Joely. I have some time this afternoon if you can make it to the potions lab?” His smile is kind and genuine. “Professor Fester said we could use it when she doesn’t have class.”
I try to focus on him and not on all the people staring in our direction. “I have Magical Languages until three. Then I’m done for the day. Will that work?”
“Perfect. I’ll see you there.” He taps twice on the table as if to seal the deal and then heads back to his seat.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Roz claims the chair Sebastian just vacated.
I shrug and try to keep from letting any emotions show. “No idea. Did they say anything?” I tip my chin at our usual table, full of people I thought were my friends.
She looks over her shoulder at everyone. They’re doing a terrible job of not watching us. “No, but when Sebastian came over here just now they were all whispers and nods. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Whatever. I don’t care.”
As if on cue, Eliza appears next to me. She looks down her nose at us and smiles an overly sweet fake grin. “Hey Roz,” she says in a whiny tone. “Be careful with this one, she’s a greedy poacher. You didn’t hear it from me, but she’ll take your man and your magic right from under your nose.”
I roll my eyes. “Great, so I have you to thank for making me an outcast? What about Kate? You realize that you’re making shit up about her boyfriend?”
Eliza shrugs. “I’m only doing my duty to keep my fellow classmates safe. They deserve that, at least.”
“What is your problem, Eliza. Seriously can’t you just leave me alone?”
“You think you can get away with this?” She lifts up her hands to reveal a series of angry red scars running up each finger all the way to her wrists. “I can’t cast any hand spells because of you! You poached my magic and I can’t even report you because you’re in your precious Society and if I complain, Daria might expel me.” She actually sniffles and starts to cry.
“Did I do that?” My mouth falls open at the sight of the burns on her hands. “Eliza, I didn’t mean to. I…”
She stiffens her face and juts out her chin. “Of course… Poor Joely, can’t manage anything on her own and it’s never her fault, is it?”
Roz glares up at her. “You really want to go down the rumor road, Eliza? Because you didn’t hear it from me, but I heard that you’re the one who covets thy sister’s boyfriend.” She waggles her brows and her fingers at Sebastian.
Eliza’s mouth drops open in a long “O” and she turns to see where Roz is waving. Sebastian looks back and waves at Roz. Eliza’s face goes completely red and she spins her head back so fast that her golden ponytail whips across her face.
“Eliza, please go away,” I say, and this time she actually leaves.
Roz shakes her head. “Damn, your sister really has a rage boner for you. Did you do that to her hands?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I’ve never done anything to her.”
My friend shrugs. “Apparently just existing in her space is enough to put her over the edge. Sad.”
The bell rings and the dining hall starts clearing out.
“So much for breakfast,” I say. I grab my stuff and head for the door where Winter and Georgia are waiting for us.
“Way to be a friend, George,” Roz says.
Georgia cringes. “I’m really sorry. It’s just… Mason was there with me and he just asked me to go to the Samhain festival with him and I didn’t know what to do.” Her words come out in a rush and I know she didn’t mean to join in with the others to hurt me.
I can’t stand not knowing. “What the hell is going on?”
Winter and Georgia glance at me and then back at Roz.
“Someone said it was your sister,” Winter whispers. “She’s telling everyone that you poached her magic. Have you seen her hands? I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have let you stand there like that.”
I wave a hand for them to stop. “You know what? I know my sister’s a jerk. Can we just make a pact that we will all ignore anything she says?”
Roz waves her head on her neck. “Screw that! Why should she be allowed to spread lies about you without any push back?”
“Roz… I’m begging you.”
She smiles. “Allow me to handle Eliza.”
“Please, just drop it.”
“Whatever you say, darlin’” Roz hooks her arm in mine and leads me out the door with Winter and Georgia in tow.
Chapter Fourteen
JOELY
The combination of not sleeping last night coupled with no breakfast and a two-hour slide-show and lecture today in Mage Essentials catches up with me about half an hour before lunch. I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into exhaustion, grateful for the dark classroom. I close my eyes and sit up straight and stay very still, not allowing myself to lay my head on the table. Sleep finds me anyway, as I knew it would, but I tell myself nobody will notice.
Everything about the scene in my mind feels different this time.
I’m standing in the woods, surrounded by enormous evergreen trees that tower so high I can’t see the tops. The air has a rough, edgy feel, like a million pinpricks of static electricity pinging off my skin.
The brush of raven’s wings flashes across my cheek as the bird takes flight from where it had been perched in my hand. The wings sound soft and fluttery, and as the bird flies away the wing flutter turns into a low rumbling hum that fills the night.
A woman’s voice echoes in from somewhere to my left. She’s crying and wailing, a wild scream that mingles in with the humming of the wings. Fiery red eyes flash before me, then they're gone, replaced by torch flames as the woman stops screaming and starts to weep as she points at me, accusation in her eyes.
The red eyes flash again and this time they come with fangs. They tear at my throat and make it impossible to cry out for help. I’m frozen in this space filled with blood and teeth and death that comes at me from the shadows.
Then the wolf is there, watching me.
Tobias!
I call out his name now that I know who he is. But he looks away and growls into the trees. Another wolf steps into the clearing. A gray and white wolf with smoky fur and brilliant blue eyes.
I’d recognize Angus anywhere.
Confusion settles over me at the appearance of this newcomer. He’s never visited me before. But I’m dreaming, so I know I have no choice but to accept it.
There is no point in trying to fight.
I take my hand away from the wound at my neck and it comes away clean. There’s no blood, no wound, no pain.
The red eyes flash again, but this time they come from the darkness in the trees and go right for Angus. White fangs sink into gray fur as the wolf yelps in surprise and pain. The white wolf walks away, padding through the trees. How can he just leave his brother when he’s in trouble? I don’t understand.
Tobias! Don’t go. I’m afraid. I plead with the white wolf, wishing I could move my feet from where they are locked to the ground.
He turns and locks his eyes on mine, sending his thought into my mind.
Only the Nightbird can save us. Our blood calls for you.
The gray wolf falls to the ground, his limbs limp and his tongue lolling from his gaping mouth. The woman’s scream comes again, and as it always does, it joins in with the cry of the white wolf. Tobias is howling now, his body arched to the sky. Their twin cries blending until they fade away into the night.
I’m flying with the raven now, relieved that the gruesome scene is now behind me. I want to go back—go to Angus, but I don’t want to see any more death. I just want to be free and fly. The raven turns and begins pecking at me, tearing at my hands and my face, punishing me for wanting to run away like a coward. I push it off me, sending it away and I fall from the sky, plummeting to the earth as the wind whips through my hair and bites at my torn skin.
I startle awake and glance around the classroom, trying to quiet my racing heart. Professor Bolt is still deep in his lecture about the use of written glyphs when casting what he calls fixture spells and charms.
I sit very still and try to pay attention but I can’t shake the horrible feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t had one of those visions in weeks, and it’s never been like that. This one felt so different… almost dangerous. Every other time I’ve seen that scene, only the white wolf appeared, and he always told me to go to them.
After sharing it so many times with Angus and his brothers, teasing apart as much as we could from the vision, we all agreed it was Tobias urging me to find them. But once we were together, the visions stopped. I assumed it was because they had achieved their purpose.
So why is it back? And what does it mean?
Only the Nightbird can save us. Our blood calls for you.
The other part of the vision is harder to bear. I don’t want to keep replaying it, but I know I need to. The gray wolf was Angus, there is no doubt about it. I’ve only seen his wolf a few times, but I will never forget the lines of his furry face or his blue eyes, which are the same when he’s in human form. But what does it mean that he appeared like that? What does it mean that he died?
The rock in my belly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. I pull out my phone and check my messages, but there is nothing new. I stare at my texts and try to will a reply to appear from Angus. He hasn’t responded. I don’t care if he’s staying away from me, I need to know that he’s all right.
Hey. Me again. I get it if you don’t want to see me. But can you let me know you’re ok?
I hit send before I can change my mind. I hate sounding so freaking needy, but I don’t know what else to do and I don’t have his brother’s numbers.
The clock says there’s ten minutes left in class, so I put my phone back in my bag and try to pay attention to the rest of the lecture and figure out what to do.
By the end of the day, I drag myself to the potions lab to meet Sebastian. Part of me wishes I could cancel on him, but since this is our first appointment, and given the state of the rest of my world, it seems like the right thing to do is show up and try to learn something.
I’m surprised to find Kate waiting with him when I arrive. I watch them from the door. They’re sitting across from each other, leaning over the lab table, talking quietly. He’s twisting a wire in his hands while she fixes the collar of his button up shirt where it peeks out from under his sweater. He finishes with the wire and holds it up to her. It’s bent in the shape of a flower. She smiles and he places it in her hair, tucking it behind her ear with a soft laugh.
“Hey,” I say, walking in like I just arrived. “Hi, Kate. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
My sister smiles. “I wanted to come see you. I hope that’s all right?”
I’m immediately on guard and wary, but I know Kate has done nothing to deserve anything but kindness from me. On the other hand, I no longer feel like I am on solid ground with anyone in my family.
Kate pulls out a chair for me, but I stay standing. “I wanted to see how you were doing. I know Eliza’s been on a tear, but… I mean, aside from that. When I saw you this morning at breakfast you seemed really stressed out.”
I decide to ignore the fact that she probably knew all about what Eliza was doing, and tried to stop her boyfriend from talking to me, but I let it slide. There’s no point in fighting. “Have you spoken to mom and dad?”
She glances at Sebastian and then shakes her head. “No. I don’t think dad has been around since… well, since everything with you happened. Mom has been avoiding talking about it. But she seems fine otherwise, I guess. All things considered.”
All things considered. I wonder what Kate thinks is on the list of all the things being considered. I want to ask about her thoughts with us not being of the same magical lines, but in all honesty, I don’t want to get into it with her and definitely not in front of my new tutor.
I shrug. “Well, you’re doing better than me. Mom won’t even answer when I call,” I say. “You’d think I had stolen the family jewels or something.”
Kate and Sebastian both laugh, and the mood in the room instantly lightens, though there’s still this unspoken thing hanging over us. Should I be referring to my parents as mom and dad still? Is Kate even my sister?
I thought for a little while that maybe it was my sisters who didn’t belong in our family, like maybe they were the ones who were adopted and it was them who had a secret other family tree. But after speaking to Daria about it, she confirmed that my parents didn’t come from any of the four ancient lines, and therefore, it’s definitely me who doesn’t belong. I feel so detached from those facts. Like that is a problem taking place outside of my immediate bubble so I don’t have to pay attention to it right now.
Kate slides off her stool and makes to leave. “Well, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. A new school is a lot to handle under the best of circumstances. And I think we both know that things are kind of crazy right now.”
“Thanks. I’ll be fine.”
She touches Sebastian’s arm. “I’ll leave you both to it, then.”
As Kate passes me, I feel like the world flips on its side. I grab hold of her arm and try to steady myself, but the floor keeps sliding away from me.
“Joely?” Kate’s voice comes to me from a distance.
Sebastian’s hands grab me under my shoulders and keep me from falling. I try to tell them that I’m all right but I’m fading away into this black hole of nothing and nowhere, and I can’t form the words.
I know that I’m standing outside because I can feel the breeze on my skin and hear it moving through the trees. The sharp scent of pine tickles my nose. I blink a few times, trying to clear my eyes, but there’s nothing to see. Either it’s totally dark or I’m blind.
But there’s no panic here. I feel perfectly at ease, surrounded by the sensations of the world interacting with my body. The elements drift by, pressing against my skin and moving through my hair, taking my breath and letting it join with the ether.
Something brushes against me, lifting my hair as it moves. It’s an airy presence that drifts around me, caressing my skin with the softest touch and filling my head with the scent of wet autumn leaves.
Marco? Is that you?
As soon as I think his name, the presence wraps itself around me as if giving me a cosmic hug. Then it’s gone.
I reach out for it and instead of finding the
airy presence, I make contact with something heavier, cooler, more fluid. The air around me fills with the scent of citrus and fresh cut timber. I know before I even think it that this is Van. He doesn’t come closer to me, but instead pulls away, leaving me wanting, longing for his touch.
I turn around, reaching out with my hands and my mind for Angus, calling his earthy, grounded energy to me. I breathe in, waiting, expecting… but nothing comes. I feel like it’s time for me to leave. I don’t know how I know, but all I have to do is will it and I’ll wake up and leave this place.
But something holds me here. A darker presence with sharp corners and a rough, edgy feel. I haven’t felt him before, but I know this must be Tobias. And as soon as I whisper his name to myself he wraps his energy around my body, poking and rubbing against me in a strangely rough, yet tender way. My head fills with the scent of the coldest night, the way it smells just before it snows.
Tobias moves away from me in a flash and I’m left feeling empty and alone again.
Then a voice shouts at me from the dark.
Joely!
Angus doesn’t sound like himself. He can’t present his spirit to me. He’s… my god he’s in pain.
The air around me fills with a hint of Angus. His outdoorsy summer day overwhelms my senses, but I don’t feel him near me.
Nothing about this feels right. It’s like he’s taken the ball of dread from my belly and pressed it into my brain.
Wherever he is, Angus is in trouble.
I have to find him before it’s too late.
I blink and suddenly I’m back in the real world. The light sears my eyes and I have to adjust before I can open them all the way. I can see again, though it takes a moment for me to make sense of the faces looking down at me.
“Kate? Sebastian? What happened?” I realize I’m on the floor of the potions lab. I pull myself up to a sitting position and try to gather my racing thoughts.