by Andie Newton
Erik flipped the red breakfast linen back, took a quick glance under the table, and then ducked under the leaves to retrieve his fork. I fluffed my skirt up when he lifted it off my shoe—there was a pause—then I felt his breath, warm and blowing in short huffs against my silky shaven leg.
Ambassador Ōshima and Toyoka were standing at our table now, Toyoka subtly holding him by the arm. ‘Where’s Director Koch?’ the ambassador said, looking around the table.
Erik bumped the table from underneath, water pitchers shook from the jolt and milk spilled onto the red linen. His fingers gripped the edge of the table, pulling himself up.
He rubbed his head with one hand and wiped slobber from his lips with the other, looking at me, his face white.
‘Drop something, Director?’ Toyoka purred.
He held his fork prong side up. ‘I found it.’
‘Oh, that’s good,’ she sighed.
The ambassador pulled out Toyoka’s chair. She shifted her eyes between Erik and me and smiled to herself as she lowered her bottom into her seat.
Erik leaned forward on the table with one elbow and studied me as if it was the first time he’d ever laid eyes on me. I twisted a lock of loose hair into a ringlet. Another officer talked into Erik’s ear; he nodded but I could tell by the light in his eyes all his attention was on me.
‘Ella has been the perfect chaperone.’ Toyoka’s eyes swung to Erik, her face turning porcelain and her eyes sinking with inflection. ‘Certainly better than that Louise you stuck me with last time.’
I blushed, swatting my hand. ‘Toyoka, it’s my pleasure.’ I took a short sip of hot tea with my pinky pointed stiffly in the air.
Erik ignored Toyoka, studying me with glowing eyes. ‘Ella,’ he said, slowly and full of breath. It was the first time I had heard him say my name correctly.
I pushed my plate away, rose from the table and excused myself in a light voice.
I felt Erik’s eyes trail me to the exit, and my hips swung from the pressure. A concerned head waiter stopped me at the door with a light touch to my arm. He tried to read my face, worried the food wasn’t good enough.
‘Fräulein Strauss, you are finished?’
I looked over my shoulder like Toyoka told me to do, and followed my footprints all the way back to Erik’s rifled eyes. His hard wink let me know I was in his crosshairs.
I fluffed my hair with one hand, because I wasn’t sure what else to do, and looked at the waiter. ‘I believe I am.’
*
Toyoka ordered lunch brought to her room; a mixture of raw carrots, celery and boiled chicken cut into long strips. Puffed red pillows circled the ground; her stern finger told me where to sit. She slipped on an afternoon robe made of orange satin. It cascaded behind her into a short train of embroidered black lace that rippled across the floor as she floated to her seat on a pillow.
She heaped vegetables into a pile and poured a fishy black liquid over it. Then she spooned it onto crisp cabbage leaves, placed a piece of chicken on top and rolled it into something that resembled a fat cigarette.
‘Your food is horrible,’ she quipped. ‘I thought you should eat something tasteful for a change.’
She handed me a plate with two black sticks she meant for me to eat it with. A gold locket in the shape of an almond dangled from her neck and swung back and forth as she bent forward. I glanced at the pendant and then to her jewellery box as I picked at my cabbage roll. Then I looked at the white umbrella she used on the red carpet leaning against the wall—almonds were everywhere.
The roll sprung open like a bomb and bits of food exploded out of it. I set the sticks down, and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Something isn’t right. I set my plate on the floor just as she took a bite of her cabbage roll.
‘Why are you helping me?’
She paused, mid-chew and swallowed. ‘Help? I told you why already.’
I stared at her, my back straightening.
Toyoka looked at me as if wondering what she should say, but then after a long pause, she sighed heavily and threw her head back. ‘I was thrown to the wolves not long ago and my partner was taken from me,’ she said. ‘I know how hard it is to be by yourself. How hard it is to be a spy.’
My mouth hung open, pushing my plate away. ‘Oh my God.’
She hopped to her feet and walked to the balcony. Rain spit on the glass door and clouded into a watery shield. Her body slinked up against the wood moulding, and her eyes stared lazily at the water tracks as if caught in a deep-seeded memory. ‘I snaked my way into the pants of this government,’ she said, tugging on the locket around her neck. ‘It was life or death for me.’ There was a long pause, then her hand felt its way down her hip until she found two cigarettes hidden in a lace pocket. She glided back to her pillow, bent to her knees and offered me a smoke with the sway of her gold-bangled wrist. I hesitated.
‘How did you know—’
‘Please.’
She glanced at the yellow scarf peeking out of my front pocket. Age had separated the threads from its hem. ‘Nobody keeps a scarf that ugly,’ she said, ‘and we have a mutual friend.’
‘Christophe—’
‘Shh!’ She pushed two red painted fingers against my lips. ‘Don’t say his name.’ She tossed the cigarette onto my lap and then lit her own. After a few puffs, she unclasped the locket from her neck and hooked it around mine. ‘Inside is a ground herb,’ she said, cigarette dangling from her lips. ‘It’s Japanese medicine, to help them dream.’ Her eyes thinned into tiny slits as she centred the almond into the vee of my blouse. ‘It works fast. Imply sex and he’ll believe he had it, all the while you could be painting your nails.’
‘How am I supposed to do that?’
Toyoka paused, her lips thinning as much as her eyes. ‘Now is not the time to be a weakling! I’m putting myself at risk helping you, silly girl. Don’t you understand?’
‘I’m—’
‘Trails are everywhere. If you get caught, and the Gestapo figure out who our friend is, I’m dead too.’ Toyoka sat back on her pillow and exhaled. ‘I’ve done my job well, making sure the information I’ve leaked looks like it came from Ambassador Ōshima, not me—fool that he is. But that can change. It just takes one mistake, from any one of us with ties to our… friend.’
‘I’m not a weakling,’ I said, ‘and don’t worry.’
Toyoka hopped off the floor and walked to her bedroom, flicking her cigarette into the fireplace as she passed. She paused in the pocket doors that opened into her room and sighed. ‘I’ll see you tonight.’ Then she snapped the doors closed behind her and left me alone in the parlour.
I grabbed a lighter and hastily lit the cigarette she’d given me, sucking most of it away with three long, painful puffs. The almond locket felt heavy on my chest, and between my fingertips when I rubbed it.
Tonight.
I threw the butt into the fireplace and left.
*
That night I escorted Toyoka to the Hofbräuhaus for the evening cool down; it was what happened after a day of nation building—Germany needed Japan’s war in the Pacific to prevail against the Americans, yet flattery and promises were about all Germany could offer. The cool down was a time to relax. Shop-talk was over and officers could talk frankly; they didn’t have to portray a sense of equality in the face of the Japanese—a country the Reich believed was inferior in many ways, albeit they were our allies.
Toyoka and I stood inside the foyer of the Hofbräuhaus, in a gap near the hostess’ podium and the wide staircase that went to the second-floor restaurant. She smoothed her red, fitted kimono over her hips and straightened its collar. It looked almost like a real dress, hemmed above her ankles with pink chrysanthemums embroidered into the bodice, but it shined like the rubies on her fingers and clung to her skin like wet paint.
She swung her eyes up and down my body. I was wearing an off-white dress with a plunging neckline and the highest of high heels. I had also dusted my eyelids wit
h sparkly blue powder and coated my lashes with thick, black eyelash dye. ‘I’m glad you decided to look like a woman tonight. I’m sick of your grey suits.’ She pinched the cap sleeve. ‘Cream-coloured fabric, tight belt around your waist. This dress almost makes you look like a virgin. That is good.’
I rolled my eyes down her dress; the curve of her breasts, the bend of her hips and the slope of her rear looked as taut as the dress itself. Her hair was bound in the back and split into two halves, a red ribbon set deep in the middle.
‘You too,’ I said.
She laughed, and I smiled, but then rubbed my hands, which had started to shake.
Ambassador Ōshima waved to her from the far side of the room, across a table full of plainly-dressed Party leaders. Erik sat next to him, the only one dressed in his NSDAP uniform, craning his neck around the table to catch a glimpse of who the ambassador was waving to. Toyoka waved her beaded crystal bag in the air. ‘There he is.’ She looked at my trembling hands, and then scolded me with her face. ‘Toss your hair, silly girl. He’s watching.’
I flipped my hair from side to side, letting it bounce against my neck.
‘Good girl.’ She fixed a lock of hair that had slipped from the ivory hairclip above my ear. ‘Follow my lead, understand?’
I nodded, but I was still unsure.
‘Hard part is over.’ She smiled. ‘He’s interested. Now you need to finish it.’ She smiled even more and talked through the thin gap between her lips. ‘Because if you don’t we’re both dead.’ She yanked me into the crowd.
The ambassador reached out for her, smiling, but then his face fell.
‘You left me waiting at the door!’ Toyoka snapped, suddenly looking visibly upset.
‘I thought your chaperone was bringing you at eight,’ the ambassador stuttered. ‘Not seven.’ His eyes sparred with mine.
She wiggled from the crook of my arm and sat on his lap, her sparkling jewelled wrist wrapped around his neck. She kissed the top of his bald head with full lips. ‘Then let’s blame the chaperone,’ she said with a choppy laugh. ‘I think she’s half-French.’
Her voice snipped just one cut away from what the others would think was a fight. Men froze, some with beers held to their lips, shifting their eyes between me and Toyoka. Others collectively groaned, appalled by her insinuation.
It was an aggressive remark, one that couldn’t be overlooked. I had to put her in her place. It was a matter of superiority.
‘Humph!’ I sauntered over to Erik and butted my hip against the table. His eyes were large and wide, as if wondering how I was going to handle her dig. I had to be tough, yet agreeable. I took the stein from Erik’s hands. ‘You Japanese have no sense of time.’ I took a long gulping drink of beer. ‘Rising sun… your flag looks like a damn clock.’ I slammed the stein on the table, leaving a dark gash carved into the wood. There was a short pause, then a pitched cackle erupted from Toyoka’s mouth and she dipped her head as a conciliatory gesture. Every German at the table cheered. The ambassador mumbled and raised his stein in the air, but it tipped over and white bubbles of beer spilled across the table—the cheers got louder.
Toyoka poked Erik’s swastika cuffband with the corner of her bag. ‘As I said before, this one’s better than that Louise.’
The barmaid brought us some steins of beer. I handed one to Toyoka but she pushed it back. The ambassador pointed to a tall glass of water he had got for her an arm’s reach away. She smiled and kissed his liver-spotted cheek.
Erik made three men leave so that I could sit opposite him on the other side of the table. I sat down, back straight as a board, pivoted my legs under the table and locked them at the knees. He leaned forward and rested one elbow on the gash I had made with his stein, excitement pulsing in his lips.
‘Your eyes look blue tonight,’ he blurted.
A chuckle danced from the corner of my mouth. ‘My eyes? When have you looked into my eyes?’ I reached deep into my cleavage and pulled out a thinly rolled cigarette that Toyoka had given me earlier. With her eyes set on the ambassador, she slid her golden lighter across the table to me, and I lit the cigarette with strong, heavy puffs. Smokes were nearly outlawed in the Reich buildings, but at the beer halls one could still enjoy its pleasures, though only the brave dared to do it.
‘I’ve seen your eyes,’ he said in a sultry, almost syrupy voice.
‘Mmm.’ I batted my lashes. ‘My eyes.’ I thought about the times he had called me Eva, or when he’d pass me in the corridor without a glance. That didn’t bother me, but when I thought about him stepping on my foot just two days ago, I wanted to blow smoke in his face.
‘How long have you worked at the V-building?’
I had a feeling this was Erik’s way of making conversation with me, as if he really had noticed me and valued my work.
‘A long time,’ I said, flicking ash from my cigarette. ‘Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m not the only secretary. I’ve acquired almost all of Louise’s job duties. There’s no need for her.’
‘You have?’ Erik looked confused, and I didn’t blame him. Louise was very good at looking busy.
‘As I recall it was you who passed her duties on to me,’ I said. ‘I really think I deserve a promotion.’
‘You want to be my secretary?’
‘That would be your choice to make.’ I smiled. ‘Now wouldn’t it?’
Another officer at our table piped up. ‘Louise isn’t nice!’ he said, taking a drink. ‘I wouldn’t miss her—don’t know anyone who would.’
Toyoka waved down two wandering soldiers and offered them the seats next to me. Their warm thighs squished me on both sides, and we swayed to music, which made Erik fidget in his seat. I laughed loud when they made jokes and listened with a bent neck when they whispered in my ears. When one of them pawed me with heavy, feeling hands, Erik’s eyes bulged along with the muscles under his shirt. Then, close to midnight, just when I thought Erik was going to jump right out of his skin, I made my move.
‘Toyoka, I’m afraid we need to go.’ I looked at my watch. It had stopped working, but I tapped it as if it still worked.
She recovered from a forced laugh and swung a pair of lazy eyes toward me. A slight sneer pulled at her lip. ‘I am not leaving.’ She scoffed. ‘I’m staying here with my man.’ She patted the ambassador’s hand and arched her back so that her chest moved closer to his mouth.
I got up from the table slowly and let Erik watch me as I smoothed my dress against my thighs. I leaned into Toyoka’s ear and whispered, ‘Thank you.’
She winked. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Our eyes connected, and I paused. We both knew she was leaving early in the morning and my duties as her chaperone ended at the Hofbräuhaus. But like her, I nodded as if we really would meet again.
I saw Erik get out of his seat as I slinked my way through the crowd. When I got to the front doors, I turned to confront him. A small crowd of service staff that had gathered in the foyer stood shell-shocked, as if witnessing an arrest.
‘You can’t leave,’ he said.
‘Of course I can.’
He put one hand flat on the wall, about neck high to keep me from walking away. ‘I mean, you can’t go alone,’ he said.
‘Are you offering me a ride home, Director Koch?’
He smiled with teeth but didn’t say anything.
I flicked my head toward the door. ‘Let’s go.’
*
Erik stopped short of my building and the tyres on his 1939 Adler slid across the wet pavement when he pushed on the breaks. I jolted forward, but his thick-coated arm kept me in my seat.
I feared he would move fast once we got into my flat. I thought having a boyfriend would imply I had other loyalties and he’d have to work to get me into bed, since I needed time to get Toyoka’s herb into his body. ‘My boyfriend thanks you for driving me home safe.’
His face dropped. ‘Your boyfriend?’
‘Mmm. In fact, he’d probably appreciate it
if you walked me to my flat.’ I smiled. ‘Perhaps I should offer you some whisky… as a thank you for taking me home, of course.’
He tugged on his collar with one hand, loosening it from his neck. ‘I have time.’ He raced around the car and opened my door. I let him soak in the rain for a moment before I placed my hand in his; it was calloused and burly. Not what I expected from an officer of the Reich.
I tiptoed up the stairs in front of him, but Erik made no excuses for his excitement, planting his feet onto each step with such force, the hanging ceiling light swayed back and forth. Once we were at my door, all I wanted to do was get inside before Max saw us. I jammed the key into the hole and gave it a quick jerk. Then I heard Max’s door crack open and my heart moved to my throat.
His door swung open just as mine had. Erik walked into my flat, leaving Max and me staring at each other down the long corridor. He looked confused, and very hurt. I mouthed to him that I was sorry before Erik grabbed me by the hand and yanked me into the room, the door slamming shut behind me.
I felt sick, and then I got angry. I really had hurt Max; I could see it in his eyes. Erik looked around my flat as I tried to collect my thoughts. I needed to pull myself together, and forget about Max or I could lose everything. I gritted my teeth until I felt them cracking. Pull it together!
Students from a nearby apartment plodded heavily down the corridor past my door toward the stairs, yelping about how much beer they could drink.
‘What the hell’s going on out there?’
Toyoka’s voice was in my head, reminding me that I was playing a role. Just like in the film Kora Terry. Be the sexy traitor, Ella. Be her now!
I turned around and faced him, smiling. ‘Oh, you know students,’ I said, ‘drunk, probably.’ I slunk to my nightstand, pulled out a half-empty bottle of Hoffmann’s finest whisky from the bottom drawer, and two lowball glasses. ‘Turn the radio on, that should take care of it.’
He swaggered toward me. ‘Radio? All I want is…’