I turned to leave and stopped when her voice called to me. “Maisie? Am I dreaming?”
I spun around. The sheets ruffled as she pushed herself up onto her elbows. With blinking eyes, she focused on me.
“It’s me, Momma.”
She glanced at the clock and rubbed her eyes. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“I’m just fine. Can I stay the night?”
“Of course. Come get in bed.” She grabbed the sheets on the opposite side of the bed and pulled them down. I padded over to the bed and crawled on top of it, sliding in under the sheets so I lay next to her warm body. Under all the covers, she radiated like a wolf, and it comforted me. I nestled into the sheets, finally able to breathe, after what had become an incredibly long night.
“I didn’t mean to show up without calling,” I whispered.
“This is your home too. You don’t have to call. Sleep now. You can tell me everything tomorrow.”
“I missed you.”
She leaned over me while I lay on my back, and she pecked my forehead. After wiping away the wavy strands of hair around my face, she stared at me in the night and smiled. Then she laid back down. I reached for her hand, slipping my fingers in between hers. And though my life seemed to be unravelling, I was able to push it aside for those peaceful few hours I slept beside my mother.
Six
Fresh coffee wafted into the bedroom and pulled me from a deep sleep. Mom puttered in the kitchen, trying hard to be quiet, but I still heard some dishes clank and some cupboards shut. Then the smell of eggs hit me. If scrambling eggs were an art, my mother would have been Picasso. I didn’t even know what she put in them, but they were always full of flavor and fluffier than pancakes.
I sat up and stretched my arms out wide as I yawned. I didn’t hate mornings, but they weren’t my favorite. Coffee would go a long way to start my day. My phone sat on the bedside table, and I picked it up after a heavy sigh. I’d turned off the ringer last night. Mason had called multiple times, and I hadn’t known what to say so I hadn’t answered. Instead, I’d texted him and told him I was helping a friend and would be back the next day. That had bought me some time, but not much. I had to come up with a bigger, better lie if I wanted to keep him in the city and not have him show up here where it could be dangerous for him.
On the chair beside the bed, Mom left some clothes for me, folded in a neat stack. The clothes were sized medium, my mother’s size. I took all my clothes with me when I left. I didn’t so much as leave a pair of underwear. I found a belt in Mom’s closet to keep the jeans up and rolled up the hem. She was at least an inch or two taller than me. I tucked the long sleeved, blue shirt into my jeans and squished my toes into the carpet when I put on the much-appreciated fuzzy socks. The weather was stuck in time between summer and fall and couldn’t decide which one it’d rather be. This morning, a chill clung to the air, and the wood stove and the heaters weren’t on.
With my arms folded over my front, I left Mom’s bedroom and headed to the kitchen. She wore her favorite apron, with the word’s “World’s Best” written on the white fabric. Pink frills decorated the border of the apron. My dad had bought it for her before I was born. I’m surprised Laird had let her keep it. Other than the spell book he seemed to have taken an interest in, he never let my mother keep reminders of Dad. As I glanced into the living room, there was nothing here still. Not a single photo. I kept one at my bedside.
I’d left the spell book on the kitchen table last night before I’d checked in on my mother. It sat there still. Mom didn’t bring it up. She didn’t even acknowledge it. But then, I guessed we had a lot to talk about. Though I didn’t believe she’d lie or hide things from me, part of me worried what I’d discover when I started asking hard questions. Laird had seemed so confident she could help me. There had to be a good reason for that. Or maybe he’d just been guessing or trying to start trouble. I didn’t put that past him either.
“The eggs smell heavenly,” I said as I took a seat at the wooden table in one of the mismatched chairs. This one was painted red.
“I made extra. With grilled tomatoes, and I heated up some leftover baked beans that I made the other day.”
“Mmm. I should have come home sooner,” I teased. Although instead of smiling, her cheeks fell, and she focused harder on pushing all of the eggs to the side of the skillet so she could tip them onto my plate.
“You’re not working this morning?” I asked her.
“I was supposed to, but I called Gemma and told her you’d surprised me last night. She said she could manage today without me. We hired a couple of casuals recently, and they’re eager for hours so…”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Please! You haven’t been home in years. Of course, I’d take the day off to spend some time with my baby girl.”
I didn’t know how much free time I would have, but it meant a lot that she wanted to spend time with me. “I’ve been meaning to come home. I swear I have.”
She held up a hand to silence me. “No, it’s fine. I don’t blame you. I preferred you stay in the city where they couldn’t touch you so easily. They’re…they’re just too much sometimes.”
By “they” she meant the weres.
She walked over and deposited a full plate of food in front of me. The tomatoes were browned and tender, their juices oozing, touching the beans and the eggs. I’d never cared if my food touched. That had been Seth’s hang-up. I smiled, thinking of how his face would sour when my mom had first started cooking for him and Laird. I’d bought him some plates with partitions for Christmas that year and we’d all had a good laugh about it. I could see his smiling face now. The single dimple on his left cheek and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He’d always smiled right down to his toes.
“They’re not all bad.”
She clucked her tongue at that.
“Of course, I don’t mean Laird. He’s as awful as ever.”
“He’s a complicated man.”
“He’s a control freak and a sadist.”
“Watch your tongue,” she said quickly. “Don’t let any of them hear you say things like that. He’s the Alpha now.”
“I heard.” I’m not sure why she didn’t tell me. But then, we never talked about them. Not ever. And over the years, in addition to the odd visit from her in the city, we talked on the phone every other day. “Why was Laird chosen? I thought Rex would be next in line. He was Douglas’s second in command, after all.” I spooned some of the beans and a tomato.
“Well, I really couldn’t say why. I try and avoid the lot of them, and I definitely don’t listen to their gossip. They matter little to me.”
“Amen to that. And yet, here I am. I still don’t know what you saw in him.”
“Oh, Maisie.” She shook her head, refusing to look me in the eye. “When I met him he was charming. He said all the right things. Treated me like a queen. Like your father had…” She cleared her throat and wiped away a stray tear that trickled down her cheek. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was okay, but I instead chose to give her space to work through her emotions. Sometimes I found touch made the pain all the more insistent. Like her, I tried to be strong. And I knew she hadn’t felt that way in such a long time. How could she have when she’d been married to a dominant wolf like Laird?
“He was good to you in the beginning. I’m sure what happened with Seth marred those memories. After your stepbrother died…I don’t know. He changed. He became so cold and distant. And angry. Always angry. That’s why I left him. I didn’t want you around it.”
I nodded.
“You know, when I told him I was leaving him, he didn’t fight with me about it. It stunned me. Really and truly. Maybe he just didn’t love me anymore. Maybe he didn’t have the energy. I don’t know. For whatever reason, he told me I could leave his home, but I couldn’t leave Clover. He would have to absolve me from the pack if I left Clover, and they would kill me for knowing abo
ut them and not being a member of the pack.” She bowed her head, and I couldn’t take seeing her look embarrassed, or ashamed, or both. “I’m sorry. I brought him and the others into our life. I never should have.”
“At least you’re rid of him now.”
She nods. “Am I really?”
No, but I didn’t want to say it. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to feel better.
She held her fork mid-air, her eyes questioning. “I saw the spell book on the counter. I hoped it didn’t mean you were here because of them, but you are, aren’t you?”
I sighed and lowered my spoon. “As far as him and the pack are concerned, I’m family. He said I have a duty to them. It doesn’t matter that I’m not blood. It doesn’t matter that you’re separated.”
“He promised me he’d leave you alone.” Mom’s eyes turned glassy, and it knifed at my heart.
I dropped my spoon and reached for her hand. “It’s fine, Mom. Honestly. I really missed you. Maybe it was time I came home, anyway.”
She studied my face for a trace of a lie. The truth had to be written all over my face.
“Bullshit.”
I chuckled at that. “Seriously, Mom. I grew up in this world. I was foolish to think I could escape it.”
“You could escape it. You could run. Now. Go far, far away where he’d never find you. Packs are territorial. He wouldn’t cross borders without permission.”
“He’d find me. I’m certain of it. Then what would they do to you?”
She put her hands on the table and stared at them like they held answers to her questions. She said nothing for a long while and the silence made me anxious.
“What do you mean he promised to leave me alone?” I worried she’d given him more than she should have. Like selling her soul to the devil.
“It was a few days after you’d left. He came here for something. I don’t even remember what. We had coffee and talked about nothing important. Just everyday stuff. He knew you were going to the city, but he didn’t know you’d already gone. He was outraged. He said I never should have let you leave, which didn’t make sense. He knew it was coming. He sat on the bench in the hallway and threw on his shoes. He said Douglas would absolve us if either of us left town. That they’d kill us both. You’re a witch so I thought the rules didn’t apply to you. He said it wasn’t true. That it was debatable. That Douglas was looking for a reason to get rid of the both of us. He’d never wanted either of us in the pack and since we’d separated he had every reason to do it.
“He told me he’d keep us safe if I agreed to some conditions. Douglas is his brother, so I had to believe he could convince him. He said I could never divorce him. That we could stay separated, but that was it. That I could never be with another man again. And you would have to prove your value to the pack one day.”
“Mom.”
“I know.”
She waved me off. She believed she did what was best, but I couldn’t believe that she’d given away a chance at happiness with someone else. That’d she’d agreed to spend the rest of her life alone. It saddened me to the point where I almost felt sick. I wanted to be angry at her for making a deal that involved me, but I didn’t have the energy for it.
“I told him that you were valuable and that your father had been very powerful. And you could be, too, but that you were immature, and if he could just give you a few years to grow up a little, that we would be in his debt… The both of us.”
I stared at her in disbelief. This was the mother who’d never wanted me to practice magic. Who’d made me turn away from it when all I ever wanted as a kid was to be a powerful warlock like my father.
“I know it was wrong. Why do you think I never asked you to come back? I didn’t want to remind him about you. I hoped he’d forget, and if not, I was going to tell you to run. At least, I would have bought you some time.”
“And you thought I’d leave? With you in his debt and the focus of his anger if he couldn’t find me? I would never have done that.”
She shrugged. “I wouldn’t have told you. It seems pointless not to tell you the truth now. Clearly, he’s laid his claim. And for what? What does he want from you now?” She reached over to the spell book and slid it in between us. “I suppose this has something to do with it.”
“You gave it to him.”
“Yes. That day we made our agreement. It seemed to make him more confident that you’d be of value to him.” She cast her eyes down.
I wanted to be angry, but I knew Laird. I preferred that she’d given him what he wanted instead of allowing herself to be the target of his rage.
“What does he want?” she asked again, quietly.
I dragged my hands down my face and groaned. “It’s nothing. I’ll deal with it.”
“You need to tell me everything. I might be able to help you.”
“Well, unless you can read Wiccan, I think my days are numbered.”
“Your dad was so good with magic.” She opened the book and turned a dozen or so pages. She ran her hand over the smooth yellow page. A look of longing claimed her face. Then sadness. Her lips turned down and my heart splintered a little. What would Mom’s life have looked like if my father hadn’t died? What would mine?
“Maybe there’s something in here that can help us get out from under Laird’s thumb.”
Her eyes went wide.
I chewed on my lip, scared for what I had to ask her next. “Mom, Laird said something to me when I saw him last night. He made it seem as if…I’m sure he was just trying to cause problems between us, but…”
“What is it?” She fidgeted and it made me nervous to continue.
“He said you knew other witches. That you didn’t tell me about them because you wanted me to be normal, like you.” I waited. Patiently. For the denial. But it never came. My heart sank lower in my chest as the minutes on the clock above her ticked away, each one louder than the last.
Finally, she quietly said, “Come with me.” She stood and slowly made her way into her room. I followed close behind, worry erupting in my gut that needled me from the inside out. I sat on her bed while she reached into the middle of the closet, between her hanging clothes, and pushed them all to the sides. Behind them, a safe was built into the walls. She dialed in the combination, and my heart grew heavier with each click. What had she kept from me?
After a final hollow click, she pushed on the small lever and pulled the door open. I leaned to the side to see around her body. My anticipation and disappointment grew. She removed a small black book and an amulet. With her head bowed, she trudged over to me and lowered herself onto the bed. She kept a good two feet between us. Did she think I needed it? Maybe I did. I was angry, but more than that, I was hurt.
“What are these?”
She handed me the gold necklace with a circular ruby in a simple golden setting. “This was your father’s. It had been handed down through his family for generations. I don’t know a lot about it, but your father told me that it amplified magical abilities and it was rare. He wanted you to have it.”
I shook my head at her. “Why didn’t you give this to me when he died? Why would you keep this from me?” But I knew the answer. I guess I needed to hear her say it.
“I didn’t know your father was a warlock when I met him. I loved him regardless. Things were interesting.” She laughed without humor. “He’d kept his magic from me for years. Until you turned nine? Maybe ten? Then you started doing things, things a little girl shouldn’t have been able to do. Only then did he tell me. But he always kept me on the outside. I thought it was…a gift. But it just formed a wedge between him and me. And then it became a wedge between us. Victor and Maisie and their other life that didn’t include me.”
“You resented our magic? Or you resented us?”
She scooted over and took my hands in hers. “I never resented you. I didn’t want to lose you. After I found out, I felt like I had. Because there was this whole other side of him I knew nothing about and he d
idn’t want me to. We were never the same after. Then he died, and I couldn’t bear to lose you too.”
“So you made me give up magic. You said there was no one to teach me and it wouldn’t be safe.”
Her eyes became glassy and she sniffed. She let go of my hands and took the black book from her lap. She handed it to me. I didn’t have the energy to look inside yet. I had no idea what to make of what she’d said. Her lies felt like a betrayal, but they were born out of fear. Could I understand that? I guessed I could. But it didn’t make it easier. In the world, she was the only person I’d trusted completely. I couldn’t even trust Mason with my secret because I feared he’d turn his back on me and think I was a freak. Now I’d learned my mother wasn’t so trustworthy, after all. I took a deep breath to ease the ache in my chest.
“I did fear people finding out about you. I still do. People can be so cruel, especially when they’re scared.”
Ironic. Was it cruel she made me shut out part of who I was? Because of her own fear? “That’s not why you told me to stop, is it?”
“You were all I had. I didn’t want to lose you to another world I didn’t belong in.”
I drew in a deep breath.
“This was your father’s contact book.” She pointed to the book. “There are people in there from his business, but there are also former coven members in there, as well as solitary witches. The witches he trusted have an asterisk next to their names. He marked them that way in case… Well, in case anything happened to him. He wanted me to know which ones we could go to if you needed help.”
“You lied to me.”
A tear slipped from her lashes to trail down her cheek. It broke me to see her cry even though I was too upset in that moment to comfort her. All these years? All the choices I’d made, and she’d encouraged, in order for us to be safe from magic? I could have had someone my dad knew to teach me. She’d essentially made me change who I was and stolen a part of me I worried I might never get back. My chest grew tight with anger. I wanted to lash out and scream at her.
Pack Witch (Captured Souls Book 1) Page 6