I forced a bright smile, but my eyelids were twitching.
“I’d love to see the cafe.” He watched me, looking very eager. I couldn’t say no, and she knew it.
“Um, I just have to freshen up.” I led him to my room without thinking about the state of it. The bed sat unmade, the sheets tossed about and the comforter half on the floor. Dust bunnies covered the dresser and the nightstand. My old clothes lay crumpled in a pile beside the comforter. And shit, I’d forgotten to hide Noah’s clothes.
As he spun around to take the room in, I inched over to Noah’s clothes. When his back was to me, I kicked them under the bed.
I swallowed hard when his eyes met mine.
His face went pale. “Wow.”
He didn’t notice. Thank God. Instead, he was too overwhelmed by the mess. “I was going to clean up this morning,” I said. I smiled wide to try and distract him, but his eyes lingered on everything wrong. He’d want a shower when he walked out of here.
“You’ve been busy. That’s okay.”
I could tell by his twitchy eye that it wasn’t. At home, I was always careful to leave things just the way he liked them. Here, I couldn’t even force myself to pick up the comforter.
I turned away from him, and he came up behind me and hugged my waist. His warm lips found my neck. “I thought I’d be on the couch, but I’m happy I’ll be sleeping with you. It’s lonely without you at home. We don’t have to stay here though, do we? Maybe we could check in to a hotel? It’d feel more like a vacation.”
I reached back to touch his face and then broke away. “It feels like a lifetime ago since I saw you last.”
He reached up to encourage me to turn my head and I did. He inched his mouth forward to kiss me, and that’s when I knew, unequivocally, that whatever was broken between us couldn’t be fixed. I couldn’t pretend anymore. Like a lightbulb staring me straight in the face. Having him here in this town, with me, felt wrong. And it angered me that my room wasn’t good enough. Because deep down, I felt like if I was the real me around him he’d decide I wasn’t good enough. I’d accepted this from my mother because she loved me, and I think she truly thought what she was doing was right. But did I want to spend my life with a guy who made me feel that way too?
He ran a hand down my hair and tried to kiss me again. I pushed him away.
“Maisie, what is going on with you? Not calling, not checking in, pushing me away like this? What am I missing?”
I sighed and lowered myself onto my bed.
He pulled one of the baby-blue sheets over the edge of the exposed mattress and then sat on top of it. I almost wanted to laugh. Things like that were so inconsequential, especially when I had people who needed me to save their souls. He threaded his fingers through mine.
“You know you can tell me anything.”
I hung my head. “That’s just it. I can’t.”
“I’m confused.”
“You’re a good person with a great heart. I love that you care about people and you want to heal them. That you give all you can to people who are sometimes complete strangers.”
He let out a humorless chuckle. “This feels like a send-off, Maisie. Please tell me that’s not what you’re doing?”
“My life has always been messy. It was exhausting most of the time. When I moved to the city it was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I could breathe again…for a while. But none of it was real. I was always trying to be someone I wished I was, but now I’m home I realize that pretending was just as exhausting. Maybe even more so.”
“You were pretending with me?” He straightened his shoulders and for the first time I heard anger in his voice. But it was cool and contained. It reminded me of Noah in a way. Why couldn’t I get him off my brain for a single second? He pulled his fingers free from mine.
“I loved you. I did. But I know you don’t love me. You couldn’t.”
“You’re making no sense. I do love you. I have for a long time. You’re exactly what I want.”
“You love Maisie, the nurse’s aide, the girl who volunteers at the shelter on weekends when she’s not working, who decorates your house and helps you plan dinner parties and goes out to fancy places with you and your friends—who she hates. And who religiously cleans because it makes you happy.”
“A clean house makes everyone happy.”
The sad part about what he’d just said was that he truly meant it. If there was a scale of things that made me happy, a clean home wouldn’t have ranked in the top one hundred. I just wanted to go home to a place where I could relax and be myself. And to go home to a person I wanted to race through traffic to see, because I couldn’t stand another minute away from them. That’s what rated high for me in a world that didn’t hinge on good and evil and life or death.
“Listen to me, I love who you are. How much you care. That’s what I love. I could care less about the dinner parties or a pristine home.”
I made a face. I didn’t believe that for a second. “What if I told you I like to stay home on weekends? That I like to drink straight from milk cartons? That I can’t be bothered to brush my teeth when I wake up first thing in the morning?” It felt therapeutic telling him this, and I couldn’t stop myself once I started. Every little thing that bothered me crept into my mind and I wanted to unload each detail like bullets in a machine gun. “What if I didn’t feel like taking a shower for a couple of days? What if I told you I would never make a bed again in my life if I didn’t think you’d be upset about it? Or that I’d let the dishes go unwashed until there were no plates left? And even then, I might use a fork for soup if I had to.”
He half-heartedly laughed at that one. “I could live with all of that.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, we could talk about all that. But none of that concerns me. What concerns me is that all of this is news to me. Why haven’t you mentioned any of this before?”
I shrugged. “I wanted to make you happy.”
“Even if it made you unhappy?”
I guess so. Though I hadn’t thought of it in that way.
“We can work on this,” he said softly. “You’re still so young, and you’re still figuring out who you are.”
I wasn’t going to change, though it seemed as if he wanted me to. If my messiness were the only issue, then we might have found a way to move forward. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. If only he knew the whole truth. He wouldn’t have wanted to keep me. My life and I were too chaotic for him. That was the absolute truth for him. I shook my head. “I don’t think we can.”
“You’ve been gone less than forty-eight hours. We were fine. This is a huge one-eighty from when I saw you last. I just don’t understand. What happened?”
I’d asked myself the very same thing, and I knew the answer. It was one he’d never understand. I looked around my room, at the picture of my father that still sat on my night table. His dark eyes watched me. “Clover happened,” I said finally.
“Am I supposed to understand what that means?”
“This town. It reminded me of who I am, and who I lost when I tried to run away.”
Fourteen
I stood in the doorway and watched Mason as he reversed down Mom’s driveway. He looked at me as he idled on the highway before he finally drove off. I should have felt something, but I didn’t. Not what I should have felt, anyway. It was guilt not love.
Mom brushed against me as she walked up to stand beside me. She held out a cup of tea. She wore her work clothes: black pants and a white shirt. All she needed was her black apron.
“You’re making a mistake,” she told me.
“I don’t think so. He’s better off without me.”
She sighed. “But are you better off without him?”
I considered that. “I guess we’ll find out.”
She left for work soon after. We didn’t talk much after our short conversation in the doorway. I knew she was disappointed in my decision, but she didn�
�t know my heart. I really wished she had. Maybe she’d have supported me in that moment though she disagreed with my choice.
I spent the morning cleaning. I don’t even know why. A farewell to Mason? At any rate, I knew it would make Mom happy to come home to a clean house, so I did what I could while I waited for Noah to come and get me. While I cleaned, I thought about what I would say to him. What I’d say about our kiss. It didn’t feel real. Maybe because I’d dreamed about that moment for years. I’d thought it would finally happen the day I’d left. Not years later.
The doorbell rang just after one thirty. “You’re late,” I told him.
“Is the coast clear?” he said, peeking his head in to glance around the foyer.
I shook my head and sighed. “Yep. Come on in. Just let me brush my teeth. Help yourself to anything in the refrigerator.”
I walked to the bathroom and wet the new brush Mom had bought me. I was working on my back molars when he appeared in the doorjamb. He leaned against the frame and dipped his hand into a bag of popcorn. I didn’t know we’d had any or I might have eaten it already. Right out of the bag. If Mason had been here, his eyelid would have been twitching.
“Where’s pretty boy?”
I spit in the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. My necklace reflected red light from the light above the mirror. “Gone.”
“Gone, gone? Or just gone.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Is he coming back?”
I continued brushing my teeth and straightened.
He raised an eyebrow and tossed some popcorn into his mouth.
I pulled the brush out. “No.”
He licked his lips. “You tell him?”
“No.”
He frowned at me.
“Don’t look at me like that. I broke up with him, okay?”
He pulled his hand out of the popcorn bag and offered me some.
“I just brushed my teeth.”
“Live a little.”
Live a little? I had to laugh. I tossed my brush in the holder and stood in front of him, waiting for him to step aside.
“You all right?”
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
For a long moment, he stared at me, and I waited for him to say something. He looked like he wanted to. But then his face twisted. He looked like he struggled with something. I think he wanted to comfort me, but he wasn’t sure what to say or do.
“It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“I think he’s a dipshit.”
This wasn’t a surprise to me, but I hadn’t expected him to say that. It must have shown on my face.
“I mean, he’s not good enough for you.”
“Who is?”
He bristled and then pushed away from the frame. I wanted to talk about us, and about our kiss. He couldn’t miss the hint, but he avoided it anyway. He might never bring it up. That kiss from him might have been my last.
“Ready?” he asked me finally.
I let out a heavy sigh. “Is there any point?”
“What do you mean?”
“What are the chances that Marco isn’t marked?”
“Slim.”
“Then shouldn’t we focus on breaking the curse? And stopping the hunters?”
“Laird wants to know for sure.”
“Mmm, right. Laird wants to know. So, you can all move on. Did you tell him you have the mark?”
He cleared his throat, but offered no reply.
He most definitely did not. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“I’d rather wait until we have more information.”
He tried to hand me the popcorn, but I shook my head. I walked past him and into my room. He followed behind me and then he sat on my bed before tossing the bag of popcorn onto my dresser.
I propped my hands on my hips. “I wish you’d be honest with me. What aren’t you guys telling me?”
He stood and laid a hand on my shoulder. “Come on. Maybe if we’re lucky MacGregor will be out sick today.” I’d almost forgotten the coroner’s office was connected to the jail.
I let out a strangled sigh. “I’m not that lucky.”
It took a whole eight minutes to get to the police station. Noah drove us in his car. We sat outside for a few minutes debating a plan. I didn’t think we needed one.
“I told you already,” I said. “You just have to say you want a minute with him.”
“They’re not going to let us touch him. What if we have to roll him over? We need to be thorough.”
“Who’s the coroner?”
“Anita Kennedy.”
My eyes opened wide.
Noah shook his head.
Though it might not have been common knowledge to parents, almost everyone at school knew she’d had an affair with a guy in our high school when I was in grade ten. She was pushing forty and he was almost a minor. “You need to flirt with her,” I told Noah.
He laughed.
“Take one for the team.”
“I’m too old for her.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re eye candy. She’ll make an exception.”
“You think I’m eye candy?” He waggled his eyebrows.
I punched his shoulder.
“All right, but you need to be quick. I don’t like being objectified.”
I got out of the car with a smirk on my face. “I’ll think you’ll survive.”
We had no choice but to get to the coroner’s office through the police station. That meant potentially running into MacGregor. Knowing my luck, he’d be sitting inside staring at the entrance the second I walked in.
I was right.
The police station had a counter out front with no one manning it. Behind it, a half dozen metal desks and wooden chairs decorated the small space. Filing cabinets decorated the back wall and the left and right walls were broken by a couple of doors each.
MacGregor sat at the desk farthest away. Lucky me, there were no other cops here. He was the gatekeeper, and we were royally screwed. I would have to be nice.
“Look what the cat dragged in.” He stood up from his desk and sauntered over to us, his thumbs tucked neatly into the front loops of his blue pants. “To what do I owe the honor?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Noah spoke faster. “How’s Marsha and the kids?”
Though he narrowed his eyes at me, they gradually relaxed. “Good. She’s gotten herself a job at the mall. And Kara made her school’s basketball team.”
“That’s good. She was upset when she didn’t make it last year.”
MacGregor nodded.
Their conversation left me speechless. Sure, it was idle chit chat, but Noah knew details about MacGregor’s family that were detailed. He even knew the name of their family dog, Robbie. I didn’t even know MacGregor was married. Noah, often cool and uninterested in most things, genuinely sounded like he cared about MacGregor’s life. I wondered if it was because he was a cop and he wanted to be friendly in case he needed to use MacGregor one day. Maybe he already had. But when he smiled sweetly as MacGregor mentioned one of his daughters, Kelsie, I knew there was more to it than that. It left me curious.
The conversation died and then MacGregor eyed me again. The warmth of his voice turned tides. “You didn’t come here to say hello. What can I do for you?”
“Marco,” Noah said. “Can I see him?”
MacGregor shook his head. “Not until the coroner’s done with him.”
Noah nodded. “I see. There’s no chance I could have a quick minute? We were close.”
MacGregor’s shoulders relaxed as he let out a breath. “It’s not a good idea. He wasn’t in good shape when we found him.”
“I never had a chance to say good-bye.”
He ran a hand through his hair and bristled. “Kid, you know I want to help you, but it’s not up to me, anyhow. You’ll have to talk with Anita.” His eyes flickered to me. If I’d come alone, his answer would have been a very flat no. Why did he feel inclined
to help Noah?
“I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important,” Noah said.
MacGregor sighed before nodding. “Through the door on the right. End of the hall. Press the buzzer and she’ll respond eventually. Sometimes she works while listening to music. Loudly.”
“Thanks, Shawn. I appreciate it.”
Shawn? They were on a first name basis? Was I in the Twilight Zone?
We started to maneuver around the counter, passing a large tropical plant with soil that looked like it’d been watered this morning. MacGregor called out to Noah. “Just you. Family only.”
Noah’s voice had a bite to it when he responded. “She is family.” He took my hand in his and gently tugged me forward, not waiting for MacGregor to object again. His response warmed me. I liked him referring to me that way. I mean, I felt that way about him too, but it sure felt nice to hear that so definitively.
We passed through the door and into the white-walled hallway that smelled of bleach. It almost reminded me of the hospital. At the end of the hallway was a glass door, frosted in a way that made it impossible to see through.
“I didn’t expect that to be this easy,” he whispered.
Me either. “What’s the deal with you and MacGregor?” I asked him.
“Not now. Stay focused. I’ll distract her. You’ll have to work quick. If there’s cameras in there, we do nothing. Understand?”
“What about Laird? He won’t be angry if we have to walk away?”
“We’ll figure that out after, if we have to.”
I felt like I should cross my fingers, but I didn’t believe in superstition.
Noah pressed one of his slender fingers onto the intercom. It buzzed loudly. No one had answered after a few minutes. He pressed it again and again. Faintly, music bled through the walls. I couldn’t make out the song or even the genre.
Finally, a voice came through the speaker. “Yes?”
“Mrs. Kennedy?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Noah Rake. Shawn sent us back here. Can we talk for a minute?” Though he tried to sound sweet, he kind of fell flat. His commanding deep voice just couldn’t lend itself to that type of tone.
“Noah Rake? Hmm. Oh, I remember you. Give me a minute.”
Pack Witch (Captured Souls Book 1) Page 14